福州市2010—2011學(xué)年末高三質(zhì)量檢查書(shū)面表達(dá)ppt課件

1、書(shū)面表達(dá)指點(diǎn)書(shū)面表達(dá)指點(diǎn)特別留意：特別留意：1仔細(xì)審題，確定體裁；仔細(xì)審題，確定體裁；2把握要點(diǎn)，留意自然銜接；把握要點(diǎn)，留意自然銜接；3表達(dá)有效，適度發(fā)揚(yáng)；要抓住文章的靈魂，即文章表達(dá)有效，適度發(fā)揚(yáng)；要抓住文章的靈魂，即文章的內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)，合情合理地發(fā)揚(yáng)。的內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)，合情合理地發(fā)揚(yáng)。4特別要留意良好書(shū)寫(xiě)習(xí)慣的養(yǎng)成。特別要留意良好書(shū)寫(xiě)習(xí)慣的養(yǎng)成。書(shū)面表達(dá)書(shū)面表達(dá) 隨著高考的臨近，越來(lái)越多的學(xué)生開(kāi)場(chǎng)焦慮，他們的安康問(wèn)題引起隨著高考的臨近，越來(lái)越多的學(xué)生開(kāi)場(chǎng)焦慮，他們的安康問(wèn)題引起越來(lái)越多人的關(guān)注。請(qǐng)他根據(jù)以下內(nèi)容，以越來(lái)越多人的關(guān)注。請(qǐng)他根據(jù)以下內(nèi)容，以 “青少年心思安康問(wèn)題大家青少年心思安康問(wèn)題大

2、家談為話題談為話題 , , 給給 21 21 世紀(jì)英文報(bào)投稿世紀(jì)英文報(bào)投稿. .留意留意 :1. 短文必需包括一切要點(diǎn)短文必需包括一切要點(diǎn) , 可以適當(dāng)發(fā)揚(yáng)，可以適當(dāng)發(fā)揚(yáng)，行文銜接行文銜接 ; 2. 短文開(kāi)頭已為他寫(xiě)好短文開(kāi)頭已為他寫(xiě)好 , 不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)不計(jì)入總詞數(shù) ;3. 詞數(shù)詞數(shù) 120 左右。左右。參考詞匯參考詞匯 :psychological 心思心思 ( 上上 ) 的的 consultant 提供咨詢(xún)的專(zhuān)家提供咨詢(xún)的專(zhuān)家另注：少于另注：少于100詞，扣詞，扣2分。分?！緟⒖挤段摹?With the national entrance examination coming on, mo

3、re and more graduating students suffer from various kinds of anxieties. Some cannot eat or sleep well and fail to concentrate on their studies. Some are afraid of taking exams and others even lose hope for their future life. 列舉焦慮的景象，用列舉焦慮的景象，用Some. Someand others平行構(gòu)造，表達(dá)比較明晰，語(yǔ)氣貫穿。平行構(gòu)造，表達(dá)比較明晰，語(yǔ)氣貫穿。 最后

4、一點(diǎn)用最后一點(diǎn)用even一詞，闡明焦慮的嚴(yán)重性需求引起一詞，闡明焦慮的嚴(yán)重性需求引起大家的注重。大家的注重。 The causes of the mental problems above may include too much school work, high expectations from the teachers and the parents and lack of physical exercise and communication. 闡明焦慮的原因，用三個(gè)并列的名詞短語(yǔ)，表達(dá)簡(jiǎn)練。闡明焦慮的原因，用三個(gè)并列的名詞短語(yǔ)，表達(dá)簡(jiǎn)練。 簡(jiǎn)單的一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的一個(gè)above起到了承上的

5、作用。起到了承上的作用。 句中用了句中用了may一詞，可以防止給人客觀臆斷的覺(jué)得。一詞，可以防止給人客觀臆斷的覺(jué)得。 同時(shí)范文對(duì)同時(shí)范文對(duì)pressure詳細(xì)化的拓展，使內(nèi)容相對(duì)豐滿(mǎn)。詳細(xì)化的拓展，使內(nèi)容相對(duì)豐滿(mǎn)。 What should we do to solve these problems? In my opinion, firstly we should take more exercise and learn to relax ourselves. Secondly, we are supposed to talk to our friends about our problems

6、 and seek advice from psychological consultants. Meanwhile, schools should set up special offices to help students solve their mental problems. Parents should also care more about the mental health of their children. Only by doing so can we solve these problems. ( 148 words ) 如何處理焦慮的問(wèn)題應(yīng)是論述的重點(diǎn)。范文根據(jù)所給

7、的提示，如何處理焦慮的問(wèn)題應(yīng)是論述的重點(diǎn)。范文根據(jù)所給的提示，針對(duì)第二段的針對(duì)第二段的causes，從，從students，schools，parents三三方面提出了問(wèn)題的處理之道。方面提出了問(wèn)題的處理之道。 句首的設(shè)問(wèn)句，給人留下思索的空間，也使短文更富有活力。句首的設(shè)問(wèn)句，給人留下思索的空間，也使短文更富有活力。 firstly，secondly等表示順序、時(shí)間等表示順序、時(shí)間meanwhile、遞進(jìn)、遞進(jìn)also的銜接詞的運(yùn)用使構(gòu)造銜接、層次清楚、脈絡(luò)明晰。的銜接詞的運(yùn)用使構(gòu)造銜接、層次清楚、脈絡(luò)明晰。 最后用倒裝句終了短文，比較最后用倒裝句終了短文，比較“給力。給力。問(wèn)題與錯(cuò)誤問(wèn)題與

8、錯(cuò)誤1. 審題問(wèn)題：審題問(wèn)題： 此點(diǎn)重點(diǎn)在于寫(xiě)此點(diǎn)重點(diǎn)在于寫(xiě) phenomena，即焦慮景象焦慮的表現(xiàn)方式，即焦慮景象焦慮的表現(xiàn)方式，不能只寫(xiě)焦慮什么。不能只寫(xiě)焦慮什么。Some feel worried that they will perform badly in the exam. Some worry about the results of the examination , which are vital for them since this determines their future admission to a high quality university.范文：范文：

9、 Some cannot eat or sleep well and fail to concentrate on their studies. Some are afraid of taking exams and others even lose hope for their future life.2. 沒(méi)有適當(dāng)、合情合理地發(fā)揚(yáng)展開(kāi)沒(méi)有適當(dāng)、合情合理地發(fā)揚(yáng)展開(kāi)What causes the problems? Pressure is the root. As a grade-three student, the pressure comes from many parts of your

10、 life, such as yourself, your parents, and the teachers (What pressure?)Parents should take care about (of) the food the graduating students eat.3. 詞法、句法、語(yǔ)法等錯(cuò)誤不勝枚舉，僅列舉些許：詞法、句法、語(yǔ)法等錯(cuò)誤不勝枚舉，僅列舉些許：1) 用詞不當(dāng)用詞不當(dāng) First, pressure from their parents is the most important reason (cause). 2) 搭配搭配/用法錯(cuò)誤用法錯(cuò)誤 Why do

11、 they worry so many things? worry worry about / over worry (that) -clause be worried about / by /(that) -clause Many students lack of communication. lack communication. (A) lack of communication with others is blamed for their anxiety. There are too many things being worried. There are too many thin

12、gs to worry about. 3)詞類(lèi)不分詞類(lèi)不分 And that beyond our reach. And that is beyond our reach. (超出我們的接受才干超出我們的接受才干) 4) 缺乏一致缺乏一致 And a lack of communication is another cause, which contribute to more nerves /nervousness / anxiety. contributes toAs a student, we should arrange our time well. students5) 中式英語(yǔ)中式

13、英語(yǔ) So how should we do to deal with the problem? what6) 成分殘缺成分殘缺 ; 殘缺句殘缺句So what is the cause make them feel so down? So what is the cause that makes them feel so down (anxious)?There are three main causes lead to the problem. First the pressure from endless homework which may exhaust them out There

14、 are three main causes leading to the problem. The first is the pressure from endless homework, which may exhaust them / wear (tire) them out.7) 懸垂修飾語(yǔ)懸垂修飾語(yǔ): 錯(cuò)用非謂語(yǔ)等方式，和主語(yǔ)不能構(gòu)成邏錯(cuò)用非謂語(yǔ)等方式，和主語(yǔ)不能構(gòu)成邏輯關(guān)系輯關(guān)系In order to reduce the anxieties, here are some solutions. In order to reduce the anxieties, I propose/

15、 put forward/ suggest some solutions.8) 接排句接排句(句子之間沒(méi)有標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)和句間銜接詞或用逗句子之間沒(méi)有標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)和句間銜接詞或用逗號(hào)銜接：號(hào)銜接：Some of them are worried about their study, they are afraid of failing in the examination. Some of them are worried about their study and (they are) afraid of failing in the examination. Some of them are wor

16、ried about their study. They are afraid of failing in the examination.內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)de不同方式表達(dá)不同方式表達(dá)1. 焦慮景象范文： Some cannot eat or sleep well and fail to concentrate on their studies. Some are afraid of taking exams and others even lose hope for their future life.其它： Some worry about the failure of a test (t

17、heir failure to pass the exam/ examination failure /failure in the examination). If they dont perform well in a test, they may lose their appetite or cant sleep well in (the) night (或at night) .Some seem to forget everything when they are taking an exam. 其它：其它： Some are troubled by the gaps between

18、their parents and themselves, leading to the arguments in their daily life. Some are troubled by a bad mood, leading to the arguments in their daily life. Some students are so worried that they couldnt sleep well at night. Some students are afraid of examinations because they get poor grades always.

19、 Some students even want to commit suicide when they fail in the exam. Some students are so worried that they cant sleep well at night. Some students are afraid of examinations because they always get poor grades. And some others even want to commit suicide when they fail in the exam.2. 焦慮的原因焦慮的原因范文

20、：范文： The causes of the mental problems above may include too much school work, high expectations from the teachers and the parents and lack of physical exercise and communication.其它：其它： The cause of anxiety is pushy parents high expectations and pressure for academic achievement. is that parents exp

21、ect too much from their children. is that parents expect high standards from their children. Anxiety is directly related to academic difficulties among some students.其它：其它：What causes us to be anxious? The pressure from the whole family may play the main role. Their expectation is sometimes too high

22、 for us to live up to (到達(dá)到達(dá) ) Whats more, lack of communication increases our anxieties. Whats more, lack of communication is another big problem. We can imagine how awful(人不溫馨的；不安的人不溫馨的；不安的 ) we are if we keep all the sadness to ourselves.() 其它：其它：What are the causes of the problem (problems mentio

23、ned above)?.Secondly lack of communication with others can cause teenagers anxieties. (Nowadays) Students are too busy with their homework to talk with their parents, friends and teachers.(劉爍潔劉爍潔)3.處理方法處理方法 學(xué)生方面：學(xué)生方面：范文：范文： In my opinion, firstly we should take more exercise and learn to relax ourse

24、lves. Secondly, we are supposed to talk to our friends about our problems and seek advice from psychological consultants.其它：其它： We students should learn to laugh in the face of anxieties (笑對(duì)焦慮笑對(duì)焦慮) and smile at ourselves. Well feel better if we have confidence in ourselves. If necessary, we can turn

25、 to psychological consultants. ()Facing the above problems, we ought to find some effective measures to cope with them. First of all, we students must learn to relax ourselves through doing some sports, listening to music and so on. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, (只任務(wù)，不玩耍，聰明小只任務(wù)，不玩耍，聰明

26、小伙也變傻?；镆沧兩?。) as old saying goes. ()學(xué)生方面：學(xué)生方面：We students should learn to be confident when facing any challenges. We can also turn to psychological consultants for help. () We students can communicate with psychological consultants to seek for some solutions to our problems. We shouldnt always think

27、 exams are what life is all about人生不只是考試人生不只是考試. We students should adjust our attitude towards the examination. It is only of the many challenges in our life and we dont need to be nervous. ()學(xué)校方面：學(xué)校方面：范文：范文： Meanwhile, schools should set up special offices to help students solve their mental probl

28、ems.其它：其它：Some preventive activities aimed at students mental health can be selectively introduced to schools to help reduce their anxiety.At school students can be taught how to manage stress and anxiety.In addition, schools can invite some consultants to give the students some advice on/about how to solve their psychological problems. ()Schools can organiz