PEP小學(xué)英語(yǔ)六年級(jí)上冊(cè)各單元作文范例及點(diǎn)評(píng)

1、精選優(yōu)質(zhì)文檔-傾情為你奉上PEP小學(xué)英語(yǔ)六年級(jí)上冊(cè)各單元作文范例及點(diǎn)評(píng)(2009-05-15 00:11:03) 標(biāo)簽： 分類： Li Ying S Hobby    Li Ying likes English very much. She works hard at it. She reads English every morning. She likes speaking English. She often listens to the radio. She watches TV only on Saturday evening.  &

2、#160; Does she like dancing? No, she doesnt. But she likes drawing and singing. Her parents love her. And all the teachers and her friends like her, too. She says her hobbies make her happy. 【要領(lǐng)點(diǎn)評(píng)】    這一篇寫(xiě)愛(ài)好的文章,小作者的寫(xiě)作思路很值得我們學(xué)習(xí),他沒(méi)有具體寫(xiě)到劉瑩的某一種愛(ài)好,而是從學(xué)習(xí)到課余的多種愛(ài)好入手,對(duì)劉瑩的各種愛(ài)好進(jìn)行了粗線條地勾畫(huà).從“愛(ài)

3、好”這個(gè)角度來(lái)看劉瑩的話，我們會(huì)覺(jué)得這個(gè)形象很飽滿。    小朋友們寫(xiě)這種“敘事寫(xiě)人”作文時(shí)，可以從兩個(gè)角度下手：一是具體地描繪；二是和上面小朋友一樣，粗線條地勾畫(huà)，二者各有所長(zhǎng)，另處在行文中使用一些問(wèn)句，使用一些轉(zhuǎn)述的話，可以使作文更有靈氣，避免了平鋪直敘的缺點(diǎn)。比如上文的“Does she like dancing? No, she doesnt.”和“she says her hobbies make her happy.”就是十分不錯(cuò)的句子，使讀者眼前為之一亮。 Dont be against the traffic rules 

4、60;  I go to school from Monday to Friday .I go to school by bike at 7:30 in the morning .I must cross two busy roads .If the traffic light is red or yellow,I know I cant cross the road ,so I wait.    If the light turns green, I know it means “Go”, and then I walk across the road

5、 .I always ride on the right side of the road .I am never against the traffic rules. 【要領(lǐng)點(diǎn)評(píng)】    這篇作文的題目是“不要違反交通規(guī)則”，小作者沒(méi)有說(shuō)一些空話，而是從自己的經(jīng)歷寫(xiě)起，敘述自己以什么方式去上學(xué)，在上學(xué)的路上是怎么做的，很形象。    小朋友們?cè)谧魑臅r(shí)注意不要圖大，那樣很容易使文章顯得空洞，而要寫(xiě)自己身邊熟悉的事情。要注意行文中字母的大小寫(xiě)、句子的標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)等。 I Love My Family  

6、;  Here is a photo lf my family. These are four people in my family. They are my father, my mother, my brother and I.    My father is a doctor. He works in a hospital far away. He goes to work by subway. My mother is a teacher. She works in a school near my home. She goes to work

7、 by bike. After work, they like reading books. Who is the tall boy? He is my brother. He is five years older than me. He is a singer. Hes now in Beijing. He goes there by plane.I love my family. 【要領(lǐng)點(diǎn)評(píng)】    一個(gè)平凡的題材，一篇生動(dòng)的作文。這樣的命題，我們可能面對(duì)幾次，甚至幾十次了。但這位小朋友的筆端很是靈巧，了了數(shù)言，讓一個(gè)幸福的家庭躍然紙上，很值得我們

8、去思考，我們能做到嗎？    小朋友的這篇作文除了語(yǔ)言優(yōu)美之外，在結(jié)構(gòu)上也有閃光之處。先總說(shuō)，將自己的家人逐個(gè)介紹一遍，后分說(shuō)，把家人的工作、上班方式，愛(ài)好一一細(xì)說(shuō)。最后以一句話進(jìn)行概括，起到點(diǎn)題的作用。我們?cè)趯?xiě)類似的作文的時(shí)候是不是也可以借鑒呢？ How to get to the science museum    We are going to the science museum tomorrow. There is an old thing show in the Museum. Do you know how w

9、e can get to the science museum?    The science museum is next to the Peoples Park. Its isnt far from our school. So we can go there on foot .Walk straight to the west from our school, next turn left at the post office and walk for about 5 minutes, then turn right at traffic lights. Y

10、ou can find the Peoples Park on the right . Walk straight, and youll see the science museum. 【要領(lǐng)點(diǎn)評(píng)】    這篇作文的題目是“怎樣去科學(xué)博物館”。怎樣才算是一篇好作文呢？通過(guò)你的敘述，能讓別人很容易找到博物館，這應(yīng)是最基本的要求。小作者在文中告訴我們什么呢？首先他寫(xiě)了去博物館的位置，最后濃墨重彩，指明從學(xué)校去博物館的具體路線，這條路線夠清晰吧！    小朋友們?cè)趯?xiě)這類作文的時(shí)候，總有些無(wú)從下手的感覺(jué)，不知從何說(shuō)起。其實(shí)介紹路線，

11、無(wú)非就是告訴他人某段路的起點(diǎn)和終點(diǎn)，還有就是如何從起點(diǎn)走到終點(diǎn)。要給他人說(shuō)清楚，你自己首先得清楚，然后再通過(guò)自己的敘述，將路線清清楚楚得呈現(xiàn)出來(lái)。一定要注意行文中一些關(guān)鍵的地方，如在哪兒轉(zhuǎn)彎，向哪兒轉(zhuǎn)，經(jīng)過(guò)哪些重要的交通標(biāo)志或顯眼的標(biāo)志建筑等。這樣，你就能說(shuō)清，別人也能弄明白。  Planting Trees    Its spring. Its time to plant trees.    I want to plant a tree in our garden. Dad and Mum are very ha

12、ppy. They like green. Dad helps me plant the tree. First, we dig the soil. Then I put a little tree into the soil. Next I water it. I am so excited and I wait for the tree to grow. Two weeks later, my tree has some little leaves. I water it every day. Now it has lots of leaves. It grows fast.We shou

13、ld plant more trees. They make our world beautiful. 【要領(lǐng)點(diǎn)評(píng)】    小作者寫(xiě)了一次植樹(shù)的經(jīng)歷，但他并沒(méi)有單純拘泥于植樹(shù)的過(guò)程。既有過(guò)程，也有感覺(jué)，能使文章打動(dòng)讀者，給人以啟發(fā)。作文的最后一段就非常好，兩句話勝似千言萬(wàn)語(yǔ)。我們可以學(xué)習(xí)一下這種寫(xiě)法。既描述過(guò)程，又適時(shí)提自己的看法或想法的寫(xiě)法，在作文中叫做“夾敘夾議”,描述過(guò)程為了提出一種思想服務(wù)，提出看法或想法使原本平實(shí)的描述有了意義。我們?cè)谝院蟮膶?xiě)作中也可以試一試。 Lets have a nice day   

14、; Its Sunday tomorrow .Im going to the bookstore with my friends tomorrow morning .We are going to look for some good books .We all like reading books .We are going to eat our lunch at the restaurant. I like chicken, beef and vegetables .After lunch, we are going to the Summer Palace by bus. We are going to play near the Kunming Lake. Maybe we are going to row a boat on the lake .Wow, that will be relaxing. We are coming back at 5pm. 【要領(lǐng)點(diǎn)評(píng)】    怎樣才稱得上是“美好的一天”？有兩點(diǎn)不能忘記，一是安排得充實(shí)，二是安排得有意義。這兩點(diǎn)小作者無(wú)疑都想到了，上午去書(shū)店看書(shū)買(mǎi)書(shū)，中午在飯店吃飯，下午去頤和園玩耍、劃船，豐富多彩！