超級(jí)搞笑之三顧茅廬(英文劇本)

1、三顧茅廬Three Visits to The Cottage After their swearing brotherhood to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the three personsLiubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei had to be janitors in Caocaos corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary and mysterious character ZhuGeliang wh

2、o had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents. 話說，三兄弟在桃園結(jié)義，之后三個(gè)人 - 劉備，關(guān)羽和張飛是曹操公司做校工謀生，因?yàn)樗麄冋也坏焦ぷ鳌Ｍ瑫r(shí)，具有傳奇色彩和神秘的人物諸葛亮正被他的妻子逼迫著準(zhǔn)備英語四級(jí)考試。 SCENE 1Liubeis HomeActors: 劉備張飛關(guān)羽B(yǎng)rother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic life end? Its so terribl

3、e!大哥！我們?nèi)齻€(gè)已經(jīng)餓了幾天，這種悲慘的生活什么時(shí)候結(jié)束？它是如此可怕！Yu, its impossible that I dont feel painful, isnt it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come down to Caocaos corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. Its very hard to get work n

4、ow. No diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?吁！這是不可能的，我不覺得痛苦，不是嗎？但是，正如諺語說，這是身在羅馬，難反教皇?，F(xiàn)在我們來到曹操公司作為看門人，無論如何，我們可以填飽肚子?，F(xiàn)在找到工作是非常困難的，。沒有文憑，沒有工作時(shí)機(jī)，你還夢(mèng)想什么??？劉備6Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliangs wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his husbands CET-6 fees last month, it seems that its time for us

5、to be debt collectors now.啊，大哥！諸葛亮的妻子借了我們500元，讓她的丈夫去考英語四級(jí)，是時(shí)候要債了！ Alas! How did I forget this? Lets go! Go go go, Hurry up and follow me, lets go to the mountain for money!唉！我怎么忘記了這一點(diǎn)嗎？走吧！去去，快點(diǎn)跟我來，讓我們?nèi)ド缴弦X！Yeah, Brother! 是啊，大哥！ And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang.然后三兄弟爬

6、山找到諸葛亮。SCENE 2Zhugeliangs HomeActors: 諸葛亮諸葛亮的妻子Good afternoon! I am the legend man傳說哥，ZhuGeliang I am a man，not a god. And I feel so morose recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-4. Its ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Oh，my god. Why should I learn English?下午好！我是傳說中

7、的男人傳說哥-諸葛亮，我是一個(gè)人，不是神。而且我覺得最近這么郁悶。 ，因?yàn)槲业牡钠拮訌?qiáng)迫我考英語四級(jí)。這是荒唐的。我的專業(yè)是做軍事參謀，而不是英語。哦，我的上帝。我為什么要學(xué)英語？Darling!My wife is coming. she is so long-winded that I can never bear her angry.我的妻子。她是如此的能叨叨，我永遠(yuǎn)不能讓她生氣。My dear, how about your study？Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you cant pass cet-4 to get your

8、 masters degree, it is difficult to find a job.親愛的，你的學(xué)習(xí)怎么樣了？親愛的！現(xiàn)在，競(jìng)爭(zhēng)是如此劇烈。如果您無法通過CET-4，獲得碩士學(xué)位，是很難找到一份工作的。Butyour father isnt 李剛， theres no but just good good study, day day up. I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like (鐵嶺).你的父親又不是李剛，你只能好好學(xué)習(xí)，天天向上。我已經(jīng)在這里住了半輩子了。但從

9、來沒有參觀過一個(gè)比鐵嶺更大的地方。Dont worry, these books are too easy for your husband and dont need to learn.不要擔(dān)憂，這些書對(duì)于我來說太容易了，不需要學(xué)習(xí)。Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!你確定嗎？讓我給你有一個(gè)測(cè)試。聽，讀，看！Ok, come on ,baby！好，來吧，寶貝！Listen!Sorry, I dont know.You dont know? Oh, how unfortunate I am! Im wron

10、g, Im really wrong, Im wrong from the beginning. I shouldnt marry here. If I didnt marry here, Ill never in this heartrending place now.你不知道嗎？哦，我是多么的不幸！我錯(cuò)了，我真的錯(cuò)了，我錯(cuò)了，從一開始。我不應(yīng)該在這里結(jié)婚。如果我不嫁過來，我就不會(huì)淪落到這么一個(gè)傷心的地方。Dont cry, dont cry, stop! I m going to study hard at once.不要哭了，停下來！我打算好好學(xué)習(xí)一次。Thats the spirit!

11、Do you know? We are in the read for your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they dun for debts.這才霸氣！你知道嗎？為了讓你考英語四級(jí)，我甚至向門衛(wèi)借錢。我現(xiàn)在能做的就是等他們討債。Are you pointing to that gatekeeper？你指的是這個(gè)看門人Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!！沒錯(cuò)！和仆人說快快來吧！男孩！What is the matter? Madam?怎么了？女士？List

12、en carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, soyou will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England.聽好了！我的丈夫因?yàn)樘τ谧龉φn而沒有空迎接任何人，如果有人來找他，你就說他去英國(guó)留學(xué)了！Yes! Madam! While it is going on, Liubei, Guanyu, Zhangfei have came to the gate of Zhu Gelia

13、ngs house. 劉備，關(guān)羽，張飛來到諸葛亮房前。SCENE 3First VisitOutside Zhugeliangs HomeActors: 劉備關(guān)羽張飛仆人Whats your code?This is zhus house.Let me strike the door! Open! Open!這是諸的house.讓我來開門！翻開！翻開！Your Code(口令)？口令？Whats the code? Oh, I see. “芝麻開門，信春哥，不掛科，信鳳姐，得自信Smart，he knows I like鳳姐, hehe.(Open the door) Are these me

14、n asking for the debt?聰明，他知道我喜歡鳳姐，嘿嘿。翻開門，這些人是來要債的？ This is Liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.我是劉備！我們找諸葛亮和他的妻子。Zhu said he is not in.諸葛說，他不在。En?Oh! No!.I mean I mean my boss is studying English in England for the exam of CET-4,and he may not be come back this month.我的意思是，住人去考英語四級(jí)了，不在家

15、也。Well！He own our money. We wait for him here.他欠我們錢，我們?cè)谶@里的等他。Did your head kick by the donkey, or shove by the door?(你腦袋被驢踢了還是被門擠了)Nobody knows that when he will come back, thus, lets go home!沒人知道他什么時(shí)候回來，走，我們回家 The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply autumn came! They ca

16、me here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didnt see Zhu Geliang again. Two month passed, the cold winter is coming! It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. Zhu Geliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is outside.該三

17、名男子失望地走了。一個(gè)月后，深秋來了！他們第二次來到這里。不幸的是，他們并沒有看到諸葛亮了。兩個(gè)月過去了，寒冬來了！外面非常的寒冷。諸葛亮知道他們來了三次的原因，他吩咐仆人當(dāng)他妻子離家時(shí)才能讓他們進(jìn)門。SCENE 4Third VisitOutside Zhugeliangs HomeActors: 劉備關(guān)羽張飛諸葛亮仆人Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind him up for you. It really should not trouble you to go there time and

18、 time again.大哥，一次又一次來太麻煩了，下一次我要捆了他。Everything is cloud(一切都是浮云). These days, the borrower is the god! Lets go there again and show our the warmest heart to move them.這年頭，欠債的都是上帝，我們?cè)贌崆辄c(diǎn)。My boss is at home today, but he is reading books about CET-4. Please wait for a moment!主人在學(xué)習(xí)，請(qǐng)稍等。Xiao Zhu! Come out

19、! Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. Get out, or I will burn your house down!小豬，快出來。哥哥。照顧好我七舅老爺和他的三侄女。25Sunflower press葵花點(diǎn)穴手I press，I press.I press continual.我點(diǎn)我點(diǎn)我還點(diǎn)。 I break. Brothers words is right, but we will be dead of hungry.去你妹的。大哥的話是正確的，但我們會(huì)餓死的。Who is yel

20、ling outside my house?是誰在我門外？Its your grandpa Zhang. Repay our money, or I will give you some colour to see see.這是你張爺爺，要我給你點(diǎn)顏色看看嘛。I am a true man(純爺們), Lets fight!$!#%&$*&%#$!#%&$*&%#Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to repay his money. We cant let him in.親愛的，他們是來要債的，不要讓他們進(jìn)來。 My darling, plea

21、se dont worry. I can make Liubei go back with nothing by my sliver tongue. 放心，憑我的三寸不爛之舌逼瘋他們。Liangzai. I have hunted you for a long time!亮仔，我等你好久了耶。Oh! You are Liubei. What can I do for you ？你是劉備？我可以為您做些什么嗎？My brother, you have borrowed me $500, when you will repay it for me? I have starved for sever

22、al days. 親，你欠我五百塊哦，你什么時(shí)候還我?。∥铱祓I死了！28I owe you $500? who can testify it? But I will give you back something better. I am an honest man.我欠你錢？誰可以作證呀？不過，我可以給你更好的。Why should I give you a chance? I will speak it to the judge.為什么要給你時(shí)機(jī)，你還是和法官說吧。Please look at yourself, although having ambition, you are just

23、 a guarder . But I can help you enlarge your power from this base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe that you can reign the whole country.請(qǐng)看看自己，雖然有野心，你只是一個(gè)衛(wèi)兵。不過，我可以幫助你擴(kuò)大你的力量，從這個(gè)基地，然后攻打曹操。最后，我相信，你可以統(tǒng)治整個(gè)國(guó)家。Wa wa wa. Im so surprised! I dont know you are so ideal. i will be the king.哇塞好主意If I gi

24、ve you a country, could I not repay your money?我都能給你國(guó)家了，還還不了你的錢？En. Of cause. But I need your help. are you willing to create a new country together with us.當(dāng)然，我需要你的幫助，你愿意嗎？I want But I cant.If you dont help me , the citizen will live a harder life , please dont refuse.如果你不幫我們，百姓會(huì)更加疾苦的，請(qǐng)不要拒絕。Ensorry

25、, I cant. Because my Tigress forces me to pass the CET-4 recently. If you can help me to resolve the problem, I will help you.如果你幫我考過英語四級(jí)，我就幫你好了。En.Yes! We can overdraft our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first.是的，我們可以從曹操那里透支工資，然后幫他買證書。Brother, come here. Everything is fake now such as the mil

26、k喝三鹿奶粉，腰不酸，腿不痛，走路也有勁了。. Why cant we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ?奶粉都有假的，我們何不找人給他辦個(gè)假證書？Good idea! Just do it! Lets go for Caocao。好主意，就這么辦拉走，找曹操去 Then the threes goes to Caocao to overdraft their salary from Caocao to buy the key for Zhugeliang然后三兄弟去找曹操透支工資。SCENE 5 Zhugeliangs HomeActors:劉備 關(guān)羽張飛諸葛亮妻子 Because the salary has been given to zhugeliang to buy the key,