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奧巴馬在2016白宮記者協(xié)會(huì)晚宴的演講英文全文|附段子解析”奧巴馬最后以致敬籃球運(yùn)動(dòng)員科比的方式扔掉麥克風(fēng),并說'Obama,out',大步流星的走下舞臺(tái),令人唏噓。"美國時(shí)間上周六晚間,美國總統(tǒng)奧巴馬在他最后一次的白宮記者協(xié)會(huì)的晚宴上,又一次段子手上身,不但狂黑各大媒體,對(duì)Hillary、Trump,TedCruz等正激烈競爭總統(tǒng)寶座的候選人們也毫不留情。這篇演講非常精彩。CARAOL:Mr.PresidTenhte.podiumisyours.THEPRESIDEYNouTc:an’tsayit,butyouknowit’str-ue.開場音樂是AnnaKendrick的段e附m,這句話是在玩這個(gè)梗,因?yàn)閵W巴馬即將卸任begone)。Goodevening,everybody.Itisanhonortobehereatmylast—andperhapsthelast—WhiteHouseCorrespondents’Dinner.Youalllookgreat.TheendoftheRepublichasneverlookedbetter.Idoapologiz—eIknowIwasalittlelatetonight.IwasrunningonC.P.T.—whichstandsfor“jokesthatwhitepeopleshouldnotmake.”It’satipforyou,Jeff.C.P.T是指ColoredPeople'sTime,吐槽黑人被說遲到。2反擊紐約市長BilldeBlasio此前關(guān)于C.P.T的玩笑。BilldeBlasio之前在另一個(gè)場合遲到于是開了一個(gè)玩笑/amrunningonCPTime.結(jié)果全場陷入尷尬。Anyway,hereweare.Myeighthandfinalappearanceatthisuniqueevent.AndIamexcited.Ifthismaterialworkswell,I’mgoingtouseitatGoldmanSachsnextyear.EarnmesomeseriousTubmans.That’sright.1,這里吐槽希拉里在高盛GoldmanSachs)演講賺了幾十萬美元的事情。Tubmans這里指錢,因?yàn)門ubmans是20美元紙幣上的頭像。Mybrilliantandbeautifulwife,Michelle,isheretonight.Shelookssohappytobehere.That’scalledpractice—it’slikelearningtodothree-minuteplanks.Shemakesitlookeasynow.Nextyearatthistime,someoneelsewillbestandinghereinthisveryspot,andit’sanyone’sguesswhoshewillbe.Butstandinghere,Ican’thelpbutbereflective,alittlesentimental.Eightyearsago,Isaiditwastimetochangethetoneofourpolitics.Inhindsight,Iclearlyshouldhavebeenmorespecific.1,奧巴馬用She就是暗指希拉里一定是下屆總統(tǒng)。8年前,他想努力改善一下政治環(huán)境hetoneofourpolitics),后來的morespecific吐槽這個(gè)環(huán)境其實(shí)越來越差了。Eightyearsago,Iwasayoungman,fullofidealismandvigor,andlookatmenow.Iamgrayandgrizzledju,stcountingdownthedays’tilmydeathpanel.HillaryoncequestionedwhetherI’dbereadyfora3a.m.phonecall—nowI’mawakeanywaybecauseI’vegottogotothebathroom.I’mup.全程都在自黑Infact,somebodyrecentlysaidtome,Mr.President,youaresoyesterday;JustinTrudeauhascompletelyreplacedyou—he’ssohandsome,he’ssocharming,he’sthefuture.AndIsaid,Justin,justgiveitarest.Iresentedthat.Meanwhile,Michellehasnotagedaday.Theonlywayyoucandateherinphotosisbylookingatme.Takealook.繼續(xù)自黑自己顯老,Michelle一點(diǎn)沒變。ereweareinHereweareafewyearslater.Andthisoneisfromtwoweeksago.Sotimepasses.Injustsixshortmonths,Iwillbeofficiallyalameduck,whichmeansCongressnowwillflat-outrejectmyauthority.AndRepublicanleaderswon’ttakemyphonecalls.Andthisisgoingtotakesomegettingusedto,it’sreallygoingto—it’sacurveball.Idon’tknowwhattodowithit.吐槽自己將要下臺(tái)dameduck),大家也越來越不把他當(dāng)回事了。卜面說英國小王子George和他見面時(shí)穿著浴袍就感覺自己被呼了一巴掌。Ofcourse,infact,formonthsnowcongressionalRepublicanshavebeensayingtherearethingsIcannotdoinmyfinalyear.Unfortunately,thisdinnerwasnotoneofthem.Butoneverythingelse,it’sanotherstory.Andyouknowwhoyouare,Republicans.Infact,Ithinkwe’vegotRepublicanSenatorsTimScottandCoryGardner,they’reinthehouse,whichremindsme,security,barthedoors!JudgeMerrickGarland,comeonout,we’regoingtodothisrighthere,rightnow.It’slike“TheRedWedding.”1,unfortunately在開玩笑其實(shí)自己并不想來這場晚宴。2吐槽之前提名大法官,共和黨遲遲不做反應(yīng),所以想陽值thedoor,然后就地解決。TheRedwedding是《權(quán)利的游戲》里面的梗,看過的都知道場面有多震撼吧:)。Butit’snotjustCongress.Evensomeforeignleaders,they’vebeenlookingahead,anticipatingmydeparture.Lastweek,PrinceGeorgeshoweduptoourmeetinginhisbathrobe.Thatwasaslapintheface.Aclearbreachinprotocol.AlthoughwhileinEnglandIdidhavelunchwithHerMajesty,theQueen,tookinaperformanceofShakespeare,hitthelinkswithDavidCameron—justincaseanybodyisstilldebatingwhetherI’mblackenough,Ithinkthatsettlesthedebate.在吐槽自己是不刷eingblackenough因?yàn)樗f的那些活動(dòng)都是很白人的。Iwon’tlie—look,thisisatoughtransition.It’shard.KeystaffarenowstartingtoleavetheWhiteHouse.Evenreportershaveleftme.SavannahGuthrie,she’slefttheWhiteHousePressCorpstohosttheTodayshow.NorahO’DonnellleftthebriefingroomtohostCBSThisMorning.JakeTapperleftjournalismtojoinCNN.講Journalism和CNN做對(duì)立,吐槽CNN做的不算是新聞。(畫面里的JakeTapper本人表情好尷尬)uttheprospectofleavingtheWhiteHouseisamixedbag.YoumighthaveheardthatsomeonejumpedtheWhiteHousefencelastweek,butIhavetogiveSecretServicecredit—theyfoundMichelle,broughtherback,she’ssafebackathomenow.It’sonlyninemoremonths,baby.Settledown.黑Michelle以及迫不及待要離開白宮了。Andyet,somehow,despiteallthis,despitethechurn,inmyfinalyear,myapprovalratingskeepgoingup.ThelasttimeIwasthishigh,Iwastryingtodecideonmymajor.奧巴馬承認(rèn)自己大學(xué)時(shí)候抽過大麻,這里玩的是這個(gè)^igh在這里是雙關(guān),major是大學(xué)的專業(yè)。Andhere’sthething:Ihaven’treallydoneanythingdifferently.Soit’sodd.Evenmyaidescan’texplaintherisingpollnumbers—whathaschanged,nobodycanfigureitout.Puzzling.這段開始吐槽共和黨,他明明自己沒做什么,為什么共和黨的支持率上漲。這時(shí)候出現(xiàn)了共和黨候選Rrump和TedCruz的照片,原因顯而易見。Anyway,inthislastyearIdohavemoreappreciationforthosewhohavebeenwithmeonthisamazingride,likeoneofourfinestpublicservants,JoeBiden.Godblesshim.Lovethatguy.IloveJoeBiden,Ireallydo.AndIwanttothankhimforhisfriendship,forhiscounsel,foralwaysgivingittomestraight,fornotshootinganybodyintheface.Thankyou,Joe.小布什的副總統(tǒng)切尼曾開槍誤傷別人Also,Iwouldberemiss—let’sgiveitupforourhost,LarryWilmore.AlsoknownasoneofthetwoblackguyswhoisnotJonStewart.You’retheSouthAfricanguy,right?IloveLarry.Andhisparentsarehere,whoarefromEvanston,whichisagreattown.1,兩個(gè)blackguys的另一個(gè)是Tremor,同時(shí)也黑了一把冏叔。2,Trevor才是SouthAfrican,這里奧巴馬假裝弄錯(cuò)。Ialsowouldliketoacknowledgesomeoftheaward-winningreportersthatwehavewithusheretonight.RachelMcAdams.MarkRuffalo.LievSchreiber.Thankyouallforeverythingthatyou’vedone.I’mjustjoking.Asyouknow,“Spotlight”isafilm,amovieaboutinvestigativejournalistswiththeresourcesandtheautonomytochasedownthetruthandholdthepowerfulaccountable.BestfantasyfilmsinceStarWars.Look—thatwasmaybeacheapshot.這里其實(shí)在向三位獲獎(jiǎng)的記者致敬,順便黑了一下現(xiàn)實(shí)Iunderstandthenewsbusinessistoughthesedays,itkeepschangingallthetime.Everyyearatthisdinner,somebodymakesajokeaboutBuzzFeed,forexample,changingthemedialandscape.Andeveryyear,theWashingtonPostlaughsalittlebitlesshard.Kindofasilencethere.EspeciallyattheWashingtonPosttable.吐槽傳統(tǒng)媒體收到新媒體的沖擊因,此華盛頓郵報(bào)對(duì)這個(gè)梗笑的越來越?jīng)]底氣。GOPChairmanReincePriebusishereaswell.Gladtoseeyouthatyoufeelthatyou’veearnedanightoff.Congratulationsonallyoursuccess.Theeublicanartythenominationroc-iS'sallgoinggreat.Keepitup.反諷,表面上是表揚(yáng)共和黨的工作很好,其實(shí)是反諷他們沒有積極阻止川普的競選。KendallJennerisalsohere.Andwehadachancetomeetherbackstage—sheseemslikeaveryniceyoungwoman.I’mnotexactlysurewhatshedoes,butIamtoldthatmyTwittermentionsareabouttogothroughtheroof.KendallJenner的職業(yè)是超模所以奧巴馬的twittermention才會(huì)暴增。HelenMirrenisheretonight.Idon’tevenhaveajokehere.IjustthinkHelenMirrenisawesome.She’sawesome.HelenMirren是好萊塢巨星,本人真的很酷(wesome)啊Sittingatthesametable,IseeMikeBloomberg.Mike,acombative,controversialNewYorkbillionaireisleadingtheGOPprimaryanditisnotyou.That’shastostingalittlebit.Althoughit’snotanentirelyfaircomparisonbetweenyouandtheDonald.Afterall,Mikewasabig-citymayor.Heknowspolicyindepth.Andhe’sactuallyworththeamountofmoneythathesaysheis.最后一句話褒獎(jiǎng)即。omberg的目的就是黑川普,因?yàn)榇ㄆ兆罱蠓浯笞约旱恼鎸?shí)財(cái)富。Whatanelectionseason.Forexample,we’vegotthebrightnewaceotheemocraticartyheretonig-tr.ernieandersThereheis—Bernie!Bernie,youlooklikeamillionbucks.Ortoputitintermsyou’llunderstand,youlooklike37,000donationso27dollarseach.給Bernie捐款者的捐款平均是27美元。這個(gè)笑話其實(shí)引起了很多草根(grassroots)的反感,因?yàn)樗麄儾豢赡芫韬芏噱X助選。AlotoffolkshavebeensurprisedbytheBerniephenomenon,especiallyhisappealtoyoungpeople.Butnotme,Igetit.Justrecently,ayoungpersoncameuptomeandsaidshewassickofpoliticiansstandinginthewayofherdreams.AsifwewereactuallygoingtoletMaliagotoBurningManthisyear.Thatwasnotgoingtohappen.Berniemighthavelethergo.Notus.Bernie很受年輕人的喜歡,而且這里透露了奧巴馬的女兒3%將會(huì)推遲一年進(jìn)入哈佛大學(xué)。BurningMan是指火把節(jié),為美國一個(gè)著名的反傳統(tǒng)狂歡節(jié),感興趣的朋友可以自己了解一下。Iamhurt,though,Bernie,thatyou’vedistancingyourselfalittlefromme.Imean,that’sjustnotsomethingthatyoudotoyourcomrade.Comrade是同志,這里吐槽》6「川6思想太左,是Commua/sf。另外也是吐槽Bernie思想比較陳舊,和自己比都落伍啦distanceyourselffromme)。Bernie’ssloganhashelpedhiscampaigncatchfireamongyoungpeople.“FeeltheBern.”FeeltheBern—it’sagoodslogan.Hillary’ssloganhasnothadthesameeffect.Let’sseethis.1,F(xiàn)eeltheBern是FeeltheBurn的諧音,Bernie的競選口號(hào)是BurnNewBern。Bern是Bernie的簡稱,就像Steven常常被叫成Steveo2,Trudge是艱難的行走,這里的Hill是暗指希拉里(她名字的前幾個(gè)字母),和86「川6對(duì)比突出她在吸引年輕人上面比較艱難。Look,I’vesaidhowmuchIadmireHillary’stoughness,hersmarts,herpolicychops,herexperience.You’vegottoadmitit,though,HillarytryingtoappealtoyoungvotersisalittlebitlikeyourrelativejustsignedupforFacebook.“DearAmerica,didyougetmypoke?”“Isitappearingonyourwall?”“I’mnotsureIamusingthisright.Love,AuntHillary.”It’snotentirelypersuasive.前面說Bernie很善于討好年輕人appealtoyoungpeople),這里就開始吐槽希拉里想討好年輕人,但似乎做的很蹩腳,就“像你家剛剛注冊(cè)了非死不可的親戚”一般不怎么又說服力。Meanwhile,ontheRepublicanside,thingsarealittlemore—howshouldwesaythis—alittle“moreloose.”Justlookattheconfusionovertheinvitationstotonight’sdinner.Guestswereaskedtocheckwhethertheywantedsteakorfish,butinstead,awholebunchofyouwroteinPaulRyan.That’snotanoption,people.Steakorfish.Youmaynotlikesteakorfish—butthat’syourchoice.這里steak是指川普,因?yàn)榇ㄆ赵?jīng)把旗下的牛排產(chǎn)品Ittump命名。fish是指和川普競爭共和黨總統(tǒng)候選人的edCruz,因?yàn)镃ruz被網(wǎng)友形容張了一張死魚臉。PaulRyan是眾議院院長,共和黨內(nèi)常常傳出呼聲,如果川普和Cruz拿不到黨內(nèi)提名需要的票數(shù),就會(huì)推舉PaulRyan為總統(tǒng)候選人。Meanwhile,somecandidatesaren’tpollinghighenoughtoqualifyfortheirownjoketonight.Theruleswerewell-establishedaheadoftime.吐槽某些候選人的支持率低Andthenthere’sTedCruz.Tedhadatoughweek.Hewenttondiana-Hoosiercountry-stoodonabasketballcourt,andcalledthehoopa“basketballring.”Whatelseisinhislexicon?Baseballsticks?Footballhats?Butsure,I’mtheforeignone.Ted不接地氣,把籃球框hoop)說成是basketballrMg。奧巴馬吐槽他是不是外國人,順便自黑一下,因?yàn)閵W巴馬因?yàn)楦赣H的原因曾經(jīng)被說成是出生在肯尼亞。實(shí)際上,TedCruz才是真正出生在國外的,他出生在加拿大,因此很多人質(zhì)疑他是不是真的有資格競選總統(tǒng)。Well,letmeconcludetonightonamoreseriousnote.IwanttothanktheWashingtonpresscorps,IwanttothankCarolforallthatyoudo.Thefreepressiscentraltoourdemocracy,and—nah,I’mjustkidding!YouknowI’vegottotalkaboutTrump!Comeon!Weweren’tjustgoingtostopthere.Comeon.感謝了一圈又來一句吐,似乎要準(zhǔn)備吐槽川普了。AlthoughIamalittlehurtthathe’snotheretonight.Wehadsomuchfunthelasttime.Anditissurprising.You’vegotaroomfullofreporters,celebrities,cameras,andhesaysno?IsthisdinnertootackyforTheDonald?Whatcouldhepossiblybedoinginstead?Isheathome,eatingaTrumpSteak—tweetingoutinsultstoAngelaMerkel?What’shedoing?1,有這么多記者,名人,川普都沒來,實(shí)在不符合他的行事風(fēng)格,吐槽他愛出風(fēng)頭。2吐槽川普喜歡以自己的名字命名他的產(chǎn)品,他用/ump命名了一款自己的牛排產(chǎn)品為rumpSteak,而且開發(fā)的地產(chǎn)項(xiàng)目也往往用Trump命名。TheRepublicanestablishmentisincredulousthatheistheirmostlikelynominee—incredulous,shocking.TheysayDonaldlackstheforeignpolicyexperiencetobePresident.But,infairness,hehasspentyearsmeetingwithleadersfromaroundtheworld:MissSweden,MissArgentina,MissAzerbaijan.吐槽川普喜歡沾花惹草Andthere’soneareawhereDonald’sexperiencecouldbeinvaluable-andthat'sclosingGuantanamo.BecauseTrumpknowsathingortwoaboutrunningwaterfrontpropertiesintotheground.吐槽川普海邊的商業(yè)產(chǎn)業(yè)都被他經(jīng)營倒閉了Allright,that’sprobablyenough.Imean,I’vegotmorematerial—no,no,Idon’twanttospendtoomuchtimeonTheDonald.Followingyourlead,Iwanttoshowsomerestraint.BecauseIthinkwecanallagreethatfromthestart,he’sgottentheappropriateamountofcoverage,befittingtheseriousnessofhiscandidacy.Ihopeyouallareproudofyourselves.Theguywantedtogivehishotelbusinessaboost,andnowwe’reprayingthatClevelandmakesitthroughJuly.吐槽川普之前威脅說如果在七月的共和黨黨代會(huì)GOP)上,如果他沒有贏得總統(tǒng)候選人提名的話共和黨將會(huì)擁有一個(gè)“aroughJuly”。AsformeandMichelle,we’vedecidedtostayinD.C.foracouplemoreyears.Thankyou.Thisway,ouryoungestdaughtercanfinishuphighschool,Michellecanstayclosertoherplotofcarrots.She’salreadymakingplanstoseethemeveryday.Takealook.plot在這里是種地的田,carrotsplot就是胡蘿卜田,暗示Michelle在他退休后的生活就是種菜。Butourdecisionhasactuallypresentedabitofadilemmabecause,traditionally,Presidentsdon’tstickaroundafterthey’redone.Andit’ssomethingthatI’vebeenbroodingaboutalittlebit.Takealook.Hereyougo.IamstillwaitingforallofyoutorespondtomyinvitationtoconnectonLinkedIn.ButIknowyouhavejobstodo,whichiswhatreallybringsusheretonight.Iknowthattherearetimesthatwe’vehaddifferences,andthat’sinherentinourinstitutionalroles—it’strueofeveryPresidentandhispresscorps.Butwe'vealwayssharedthesamegoal-torootourpublicdiscourseinthetruth;toopenthedoorsofthisdemocracy;todowhateverwecantomakeourcountryandourworldmorefreeandmorejust.AndI’vealwaysappreciatedtherolethatyouhaveallplayedasequalpartnersinreachingthesegoals.你能看到這里也是厲害,下面基本沒有吐槽啦,基本就是感謝的話。Andourfreepressiswhyweonceagainrecognizetherealjournalistswhouncoveredahorrifyingscandalandbroughtaboutsomemeasureofjusticeforthousandsofvictimsthroughouttheworld.heyareherewithustonight-achafeiffer,ikeRezendes,WalterRobinson,MattCarroll,andBenBradlee,Jr.Pleasegivethemabigroundofapplause.Ourfreepressiswhy,onceagain,wehonorJasonRezaian.AsCarolnoted,lasttimethisyear,wespokeofJason’scourageasheenduredtheisolationofanIranianprison.Thisyear,weseethatcourageinthefleshandit’salivingtestamenttotheveryideaofafreepress,andareminderoftherisinglevelofdanger,andpoliticalintimidation,andphysicalthreatsfacedbyreportersoverseas.AndIcanmakethiscommitmentthataslongasIholdthisoffice,myadministrationwillcontinuetofightforthereleaseofAmericanjournalistsheldagainsttheirwill—andwewillnotstopuntiltheyseethesamefreedomasJasonhad.Athomeandabroad,journalistslikeallofyouengageinthedoggedpursuitofinformingcitizens,andholdingleadersaccountable,andmakingourgovernmen

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