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/10/10/讀后續(xù)寫10:救人型TOC\o"1-3"\h\uPart1:經(jīng)典例文(鐵軌救嬰兒) 1Part2:救人故事構(gòu)造三部曲 4第一步:救人之前(惡劣環(huán)境+負(fù)面情緒) 4第二步:救人之中(努力+救人動(dòng)作+如釋重負(fù)) 5第三步:救人之后(感激+升華) 6Part3:靈活應(yīng)用 7例1:河中救人 7例2:海邊救人 9讀后續(xù)寫很多時(shí)候會(huì)涉及自然災(zāi)害與防范、安全常識(shí)與自我保護(hù)的話題,會(huì)經(jīng)常涉及到危難之際,挺身而出救助他人的故事。在這個(gè)話題中有時(shí)會(huì)寫到危難之際,利用所學(xué)急救知識(shí),成功救人脫離生命危險(xiǎn)的故事;有時(shí)會(huì)寫到樓內(nèi)突發(fā)火災(zāi),警察/群眾舍己救人的故事;有時(shí)會(huì)寫到群眾/路人遇到有人不幸溺水,鼓足勇氣跳入水中施救的的故事。Part1:經(jīng)典例文(鐵軌救嬰兒)a.m.1998.Mohra.m.on12May1998.hadalreadyscannedseveralpackageslistingdangerousmaterialsaboardthetrain.Thepresenceofgaswouldmeantakingextraprecautionwhenbrakingthe6,200-tontrain.Withexplosivegasonboard,itwouldbedisastrousifthetraincameoffthetrack.Afterafinalinspection,Mohrjumpedaboard.Hewasheadingeast,intoasunthatpromisedabeautifuldayfortheir276-kmruntoPeru,Indiana.Ataroundnoonthatday,Marshallpreparedtotacklesomeyardwork.Itwasabeautifuldayforit,shethought,gazingpastthehousesacrossthestreet.Some45metersaway,railroadtracksshoneinthesun.Marshallbeganworkinginapatch(地塊)ofsoil.Sittingnexttoher,cheerfullyrunningherhandsthroughdirt,washer19-month-olddaughter,Emily.Forawhile,shekeptturningtocheckonEmily,whoplayedcloseathand.Eventually,though,Marshall'sabsorptioninherworkbecametotal.p.m.approachedthetownwhereMarshalllivedatabout1:45p.m.andslowedthetraintothe40-kmphspeedlimit.Heactivatedtheflashinglightsandwarningbell.Mohrhadbeenthroughthetownhundredsoftimes,buthegrewextracautiousroundingthefirstcurve.Asthetraincameoutofthecurve,Mohrnoticedasmalldotonthetrackabout200metersahead.Hethoughtitmightbeadog.Althoughitwasagainsttherulestodosointhetown,hebeganlightlytappinghishorn."Comeon,puppy,move,"heurged.Thetoots(嘟嘟響)ofatrainwhistlestartled(使受驚嚇)Marshallfromheryardwork.That'sodd,shethought.Theydon'tusuallyblowthewhistlethroughtown.Sheglancedovertocheckherdaughter,andherheartskipped.Emilywasnowhereinsight.Now,asthetrainapproachedwithin100metersoftheobjectontherail,Mohrnarrowedhiseyes,tryingtomakeoutwhatexactlywaslyingahead.Thenshockranthroughhimlikeelectriccurrent.注意:1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;2.應(yīng)使用5個(gè)以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ):3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語(yǔ)已為你寫好;4.續(xù)寫完成后,請(qǐng)用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)。Para1"MyGod!"heyelledasatinyfaceturnedtowardshim.“It'sababy!"______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Para2Thechildwasnowjust36metersahead.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】Para1"MyGod!"heyelledasatinyfaceturnedtowardshim.“It'sababy!"Mohrhadaninstantdecisiontomake,applyingfullemergencybrakeswithhalfthetrainstillwrappedaroundacurve.Hehadtoriskanemergencystop.Hardashetry,thetrainkeptmovingjustasacatsawafish,whoseenticingsmellattractedthecattoapproachthebaby.Meanwhile,Marshallrushedtowardsherdaughter,nervousbutdesperate,fearingthetrainwouldrunintoherbeloved.“我的上帝?。 彼褚粡埿∧樲D(zhuǎn)向他時(shí)大聲喊道。“這是個(gè)嬰兒!”莫爾立即做出了決定,實(shí)施了緊急剎車,一半的火車仍然繞在彎道上。他不得不冒著緊急停車的危險(xiǎn)。在他的努力中,火車?yán)^續(xù)移動(dòng),就像一只貓看到了一條魚,它誘人的氣味吸引了貓接近嬰兒。與此同時(shí),馬歇爾沖向緊張但絕望的女兒,擔(dān)心火車會(huì)撞到她的愛(ài)人。Para2Thechildwasnowjust36metersahead.Mohrpulledthebrakewithhiswholeefforts.Thesoundofwheelsgrindingagainsttherailsrangthroughthesky.Thesituationwasquitedangerous.Asthetrainwasalmoststopped,heimmediatelyopenedtheleftdooroftheenginecabquicklyandswiftlyjumpedfromthemovingtrainandranbacktothechild.Shelaycryingbythetracks.AgreatreliefsweepingoverMohr,heliftedherfromthedirthurriedly.ItwasonlythenthatMohrnoticedthetrainhadstoppedandMarshallwasjustcomingtoherbaby.Withthebabyinhisarms,Mohrbegantowalktowardsthemother.這個(gè)孩子現(xiàn)在只有前面36米遠(yuǎn)。莫爾竭盡全力地拉下了剎車。車輪撞擊鐵軌的聲音響徹天空。情況很危險(xiǎn)。當(dāng)火車快停下來(lái)時(shí),他立即打開駕駛室的左門,迅速?gòu)男旭偟幕疖嚿咸聛?lái),跑回孩子身邊。她躺在鐵軌邊哭泣。他使莫爾松了一口氣,急忙把她從泥土里抬了起來(lái)。直到那時(shí),莫爾才注意到火車已經(jīng)停了下來(lái),馬歇爾正要來(lái)接她的孩子。莫爾抱著孩子,開始向母親走去?!痉治觥勘疚囊匀宋餅榫€索展開,講述了火車司機(jī)Mohr,在一次駕駛火車全速前進(jìn)時(shí),他注意到遠(yuǎn)處的鐵軌上有個(gè)黑點(diǎn),他以為是一條狗,后來(lái)證實(shí)這個(gè)黑點(diǎn)是一個(gè)嬰兒。他要在保證火車安全的情況下,救下這個(gè)嬰兒?!驹斀狻?.段落續(xù)寫:①由第一段首句內(nèi)容“我的上帝!”當(dāng)一張小臉轉(zhuǎn)向他時(shí),他大叫起來(lái)?!笆莻€(gè)嬰兒!”,可知,第一段可描寫火車司機(jī)Mohr的心理感受及其采取的措施,同時(shí)可以描寫嬰兒媽媽Mashall的現(xiàn)場(chǎng)反應(yīng)。②由第二段首句內(nèi)容“這時(shí)火車距離嬰兒只有36米了?!笨芍诙慰擅鑼懟疖囁緳C(jī)Mohr努力減速火車直至火車停下,然后救嬰兒,最終嬰兒平安得救。2.續(xù)寫線索:看見(jiàn)嬰兒——決定剎車——跳車救孩子——孩子得救3.詞匯激活行為類①.做決定:makeadecision/makeuphismind/keepinmindthat②.剎車:pullthebrake/stopthetrainwitheffort③.救孩子:savethechild/rescuethechild/savethebaby'slife情緒類焦急:anxious/haveone'sheartinone'smouth【點(diǎn)睛】applying...hrhadaninstantdecisiontomake,applyingfullemergencybrakeswithhalfthetrainstillwrappedaroundacurve.(applying...為現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語(yǔ))[高分句型2].Hardashetry,thetrainkeptmovingjustasacatsawafish,whoseenticingsmellattractedthecattoapproachthebaby.(as引導(dǎo)的讓步狀語(yǔ)從句,whose之后為非限制性定語(yǔ)從句)Part2:救人故事構(gòu)造三部曲第一步:救人之前(惡劣環(huán)境+負(fù)面情緒)1、惡劣環(huán)境(1)一到晚夏,池塘就會(huì)被綠色的起泡浮渣覆蓋。有時(shí)候,池塘里冒出一陣強(qiáng)烈的難聞的味道。Inlatesummer,thepondwouldbecoveredbyagreenandbubblyscum(起泡的浮渣).Sometimesastrong,unpleasantsmellrosefromit.(2)在池塘中間,冰面忽然露出了一條裂縫。Inthemiddleofthepond,theicegavewaywithasuddencrack.(3)空氣里彌漫著濃厚灼熱的味道。Athickburningsmellfilledtheair.?2、負(fù)面情緒:害怕(1)Watchingtheshoreinthedistance,Ifeltpowerless(無(wú)力的)asifwewerebrokentinyboatsatthemercyofstrongwaves.(2)Exhaustedandcold,thethoughtthatwemightdiehereflashedacrossmymind,whichmademequiverwithanuncontrollableterror/horror/fright(難以控制地發(fā)抖)Lookingatthevastsea,Ifeltasenseoffearsurgingthroughmywholebody(在身體涌動(dòng))第二步:救人之中(努力+救人動(dòng)作+如釋重負(fù))1、.掙扎努力Tomlookedthoughtful(若有所思)“Weneedtothinkoutaway!”Imuttered(喃喃自語(yǔ)),scratchingmyhead.(絞盡腦汁)...,Weswamtoothandnailsparednoefforttotoothandnailsparednoeffortto(全力以赴地).sparednoefforttotoothandnailsparednoeffortto2.救人有關(guān)的驚險(xiǎn)場(chǎng)面描寫(1)ThenextthingIknewIwashangingontotheedgeofaholeintheicebyarmsoutstretchedontheice.FrommyshouldersdownIhunginicywater.(2)Itriedtoclimboutofthehole,butwhenIgotakneeontheice,itbrokelikewindowglass(像玻璃一樣破裂).(浙江省十校聯(lián)盟考試?yán)m(xù)寫2020.10)(3)Asthecoatbecamecompletelywet,itdraggedmedown(把我拖下水).Iwastiredofthestruggleandrestedwithmyarmsstretchedoutontheice.(浙江省十校聯(lián)盟考試?yán)m(xù)寫2020.10)3實(shí)施救援的過(guò)程“幫我把西蒙斯弄下車!”諾伍德對(duì)驚慌失措的朋友們大聲喊道。(2021年山東新高考質(zhì)量測(cè)評(píng)聯(lián)盟)“HelpmegetSimmonsoutofthecar!”Norwoodyelledloudlytoherfriends,whowereleftinapanic.諾伍德和朋友們把西蒙斯從車?yán)锢顺鰜?lái),把他放在一個(gè)安全并且離車有點(diǎn)遠(yuǎn)的地方。盡管緊張而焦慮,諾伍德努力讓自己鎮(zhèn)靜下來(lái),對(duì)西蒙斯進(jìn)行了急救。(2021年山東新高考質(zhì)量測(cè)評(píng)聯(lián)盟)Nervousandanxious,NorwoodstruggledtocalmherselfdownandcarriedoutfirstaidtoSimmons.諾伍德和她的朋友們把西蒙斯放到平躺的位置,打開了她的呼吸道。(2021年山東新高考質(zhì)量測(cè)評(píng)聯(lián)盟)4、如釋重負(fù)Ensuingtheirsafety,Ifeltasurgeoftriumph.(感到一陣勝利的喜悅)Hearingthenews,Icouldn'thelprestrainingmyexcitement.(情難自抑)Itthrilledustohearthegoodnews(聽(tīng)到新消息很高興).Onhearingthegoodnews,TomandIsighedingreatrelief(如釋重負(fù)地嘆了口氣),grinningmerrilyateachother.第三步:救人之后(感激+升華)1、感激如果我沒(méi)有得到急救,我就會(huì)死了。西蒙斯感激地對(duì)諾伍德說(shuō)。(2021年山東新高考質(zhì)量測(cè)評(píng)聯(lián)盟)“IfIhadnotbeengivenfirstaid,Iwouldhavedead.”SimmonssaidtoNorwoodgratefully.SimmonsshowedhergratitudetoNorwood,saying“Itwasyouwhocametomyaidandsavedmylife.”西蒙斯對(duì)諾伍德表示了感謝,她說(shuō):“是你來(lái)幫助我,救了我一命?!保?021年山東新高考質(zhì)量測(cè)評(píng)聯(lián)盟)“謝謝你進(jìn)入我的世界,我會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)記住你為我所做的。”西蒙斯對(duì)諾伍德說(shuō)。(2021年山東新高考質(zhì)量測(cè)評(píng)聯(lián)盟)“ThankyouforenteringmyworldandIwillalwaysrememberwhatyouhavedoneforme.”SimmonswhisperedtoNorwood.2、升華句(1)花點(diǎn)時(shí)間來(lái)學(xué)習(xí)急救和心肺復(fù)蘇術(shù)。拯救了生命,而且很有效。Takesometimetolearntheknowledgeoffirstaid.Itsaveslives,anditworks.(2)這個(gè)故事表明,良好的急救知識(shí)真的可以起作用。Thestoryshowsthatagoodknowledgeoffirstaidcanmakearealdifference.(3)每個(gè)人都應(yīng)該學(xué)點(diǎn)急救知識(shí),因?yàn)樵诰o急情況下每一秒都很重要。Everyoneshouldlearnsomethingaboutfirstaid,foreverysecondwillcountinanemergency.(4)了解基礎(chǔ)的急救知識(shí)有助于你對(duì)緊急情況作出迅速的反應(yīng)。Knowingbasicfirst-aidtechniqueswillhelpyourespondquicklytoemergencies.Part3:靈活應(yīng)用例1:河中救人Boysliketobeconsideredtobebrave,butwhatkindofthingscanbeconsideredtobebrave?Itisnotaquestionthatcanbeansweredbywords,butbytheactualdeed.AboywiththenameHenrygaveusagoodexample.RonnyandHenryweretwofriendsinthesameclass.Theyalwaysplayedtogetherandwenthometogether.OnedayasRonnyandHenryweregoinghomeafterschool,theysawsomepeoplefightinginthestreetcorner.Ronnysaidexcitedly,“Somepeoplearefighting!Let'sgoandhavealook!”ButHenryrefused,“It'snoneofourbusiness.We'dbettergohomeanddon'tgetclosetothem.AlsoourparentsareexpectingtohavedinnerwithustogetherathomeandIdon'twantthemtoworryaboutme.”“Youareacoward,andafraidtogo,”saidRonny,andoffherantothespotwithsomeotherboys.Henryhadtogohomealoneanddidn'tthinkaboutitanymore.ButRonnythoughtHenrywasacowardandtoldalltheboysthat.Theylaughedathimagreatdeal.Fromthenon,theylookeddownuponHenryanddidn'twanttoplaywithhim.Henrywassadbuthewasn'tangrywithRonnyforhisrudebehavior,becausehehadlearnedthattruecouragewasshownmostinbearingmisunderstandingwhenitwasnotdeserved,andthatheoughttobeafraidofnothingbutdoingwrong.Thus,hejustignoredtheotherboys'laughterandcontinuedtosticktohisthoughtandgotoschoolandstudyaswell.However,Ronnydidn'tinviteHenrytogohomewithhimanymore.Instead,hehadhisnewfriendswhoalsothoughtHenrywasacoward.Everydayafterschool,theydidn'tgohomedirectlybutwenttotheriverorsomewheretoplaygamesandhadlotsoffun.注意:1.所續(xù)寫的短文詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;2.應(yīng)使用5個(gè)以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ);3.續(xù)寫部分分為二段,每段的開頭語(yǔ)已經(jīng)為你寫好;4續(xù)寫完成后,請(qǐng)用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)。Paragraph1:Afewdayslater,somethingterriblehappenedtoRonny.Paragraph2:Atthatmoment,Henryhappenedtopassby.Paragraph1Afewdayslater,somethingterriblehappenedtoRonny.Thatafternoonafterschool,Ronnywasbathingwithsomeofhisnewfriendsintheriverhappily.Suddenly,hewasstuckinthemudandcouldn'tgetout.Hestruggledhardbuthewasstilltrapped.Hescreamedforhelp,butallinvain.TheboyswhohadcalledHenryacowardgotoutofthewaterasfastastheycould.Theyweresoscaredanddidnoteventrytohelphim.Paragraph2:Atthatmoment,Henryhappenedtopassby.Heheardthescreamsandrantotheriverassoonaspossible.SeeingRonnywasalmostdrowned,Henrytookoffhisclothesimmediatelyandjumpedintothewaterwithoutanyhesitation.HereachedRonnyjustashewassinkingthelasttime.Withgreateffort,andwithmuchdangertohimself,hebroughtRonnytotheshoreintime.Henrywashappytohelphisfriend,thoughhewasextremelytired.第1段幾天后,羅尼發(fā)生了一件可怕的事情。那天下午放學(xué)后,羅尼和他的一些新朋友在河里快樂(lè)地洗澡。突然,他被困在泥里,無(wú)法出來(lái)。他努力掙扎,但仍然被困住了。他尖叫著呼救,但都沒(méi)有成功。那些叫亨利是懦夫的孩子們盡可能快地離開了水面。他們很害怕,甚至沒(méi)有試圖幫助他。第2段:就在那一刻,亨利碰巧經(jīng)過(guò)了。他聽(tīng)到了尖叫聲,就盡快跑到河里去了??吹搅_尼差點(diǎn)被淹死,亨利立即脫下衣服,毫不猶豫地跳進(jìn)了水里。他上次就在羅尼下沉?xí)r,到達(dá)了羅尼。他費(fèi)了巨大的努力,對(duì)自己也很危險(xiǎn),及時(shí)把羅尼帶到了岸邊。亨利很樂(lè)意幫助他的朋友,盡管他非常累。例2:海邊救人閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。OnJuly8,2017,eightmembersofafamilyintotal,wereenjoyinganeveningtogetheratthebeachinPanhandle,F(xiàn)lorida.Asthesunsankloweronthehorizon,thetwoboysNoah,11,andStephen,8—swamintothewaveswithoutthegrown-upsnoticing.Soontheyrealizedthattheoceanhadpulledthemintothesea.Aftertryingandfailingtoswimback,theystartedwavingandscreamingforhelp.Butthelifeguardshadbeenoffdutyfortheevening.TheboyshadbeenstrugglingforseveralminuteswhenJackyandTabatha,acouplefromGeorgia,heardthem.Theydivedintothewaterandsoonreachedthetwobrothers.Butafterafewminutes,theywerealltrappedinaripcurrent(離岸流)—apowerfulonethatcouldsweepeventhestrongestswimmerouttosea!Bythen,someteenagershadheardthecry.Oneoftheteensrushedintothewater,grabbedJacky,andpulledhimbacktoshore.Meanwhile,Tabathacouldfeelherselfbeingpulledfartherout.Shewasalreadyexhaustedandbeginningtofeeldesperateasshewastryingtosavebothboysalone.Onshore,Jackywasterrified.Amanstopped.“What’swrong?”askedShaun,whowasheadingbacktohiscar.“Mywifeisdrowning!”Brittanysaid.Shaunimmediatelystrode(大步跨)intothewater.Butseveralminuteslater,agaping15feetstilllaybetweenhimandTabathaandtheboys.Heknewthatifhecontinued,he’dbecomeanothervictim.Heturnedaroundtoseekhelp.ItwasaboutthattimethatRoberta,theboys’mother,returnedfromthebathroomandlookedaroundforherchildren.Shewasshockedtospotthemfloatingmuchfartheroutthantheywereallowedtogo.Shefoughtthewavestogettoherscreamingsonsandthestrangerwhowastryingtosavethem,butshequicklydiscovereditwasnearlyimpossibletomakeheadwayinanydirection.Lookingaround,Robertasighedwithrelieftoseesomemorepeoplecomingtohelp.Paragraph1WhentheytriedinvaintorescuethebrothersandTabatha,ariskyideacametothem._______________________________________________________________________________Bythen,more
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