牛津書蟲第6級6-01.Jane Eyre Chapter 19

329

Chapter19

ThelibrarylookedtranquilenoughasIenteredit,andtheSibyl—ifSibylshewere—wasseatedsnuglyenoughinaneasy-chairatthechimney-corner.Shehadonaredcloakandablackbonnet:orrather,abroad-brimmedgipsyhat,tieddownwithastripedhandkerchiefunderherchin.Anextinguishedcandlestoodonthetable;shewasbendingoverthefire,andseemedreadinginalittleblackbook,likeaprayer-book,bythelightoftheblaze:shemutteredthewordstoherself,asmostoldwomendo,whilesheread;shedidnotdesistimmediatelyonmyentrance:itappearedshewishedtofinishaparagraph.

Istoodontherugandwarmedmyhands,whichwererathercoldwithsittingatadistancefromthedrawing-roomfire.IfeltnowascomposedaseverIdidinmylife:therewasnothingindeedinthegipsy’sappearancetotroubleone’scalm.Sheshutherbookandslowlylookedup;herhat-brimpartiallyshadedherface,yetIcouldsee,assheraisedit,thatitwasastrangeone.Itlookedallbrownandblack:elf-locksbristledoutfrombeneathawhitebandwhichpassedunderherchin,andcamehalfoverhercheeks,orratherjaws:hereyeconfrontedmeatonce,withaboldanddirectgaze.

“Well,andyouwantyourfortunetold?”shesaid,inavoiceasdecidedasherglance,asharshasherfeatures.

“Idon’tcareaboutit,mother;youmaypleaseyourself:butIoughttowarnyou,Ihavenofaith.”

330

“It’slikeyourimpudencetosayso:Iexpecteditofyou;

Ihearditinyourstepasyoucrossedthethreshold.”“Didyou?You’veaquickear.”

“Ihave;andaquickeyeandaquickbrain.”

“Youneedthemallinyourtrade.”

“Ido;especiallywhenI’vecustomerslikeyoutodealwith.Whydon’tyoutremble?”

“I’mnotcold.”

“Whydon’tyouturnpale?”

“Iamnotsick.”

“Whydon’tyouconsultmyart?”

“I’mnotsilly.”

Theoldcrone“nichered”alaughunderherbonnetandbandage;shethendrewoutashortblackpipe,andlightingitbegantosmoke.Havingindulgedawhileinthissedative,sheraisedherbentbody,tookthepipefromherlips,andwhilegazingsteadilyatthefire,saidverydeliberately—“Youarecold;youaresick;andyouaresilly.”

“Proveit,”Irejoined.

“Iwill,infewwords.Youarecold,becauseyouarealone:nocontactstrikesthefirefromyouthatisinyou.Youaresick;becausethebestoffeelings,thehighestandthesweetestgiventoman,keepsfaraway

331

fromyou.Youaresilly,because,sufferasyoumay,youwillnotbeckonittoapproach,norwillyoustironesteptomeetitwhereitwaitsyou.”

Sheagainputhershortblackpipetoherlips,andrenewedhersmokingwithvigour.

“Youmightsayallthattoalmostanyonewhoyouknewlivedasasolitarydependentinagreathouse.”

“Imightsayittoalmostanyone:butwoulditbetrueofalmostanyone?”

“Inmycircumstances.”

“Yes;justso,inYOURcircumstances:butfindme

anotherpreciselyplacedasyouare.”

“Itwouldbeeasytofindyouthousands.”

“Youcouldscarcelyfindmeone.Ifyouknewit,youarepeculiarlysituated:verynearhappiness;yes,withinreachofit.Thematerialsareallprepared;thereonlywantsamovementtocombinethem.Chancelaidthemsomewhatapart;letthembeonceapproachedandblissresults.”

“Idon’tunderstandenigmas.Inevercouldguessariddleinmylife.”

“Ifyouwishmetospeakmoreplainly,showmeyourpalm.”

“AndImustcrossitwithsilver,Isuppose?”

“Tobesure.”

332

Igaveherashilling:sheputitintoanoldstocking-footwhichshetookoutofherpocket,andhavingtieditroundandreturnedit,shetoldmetoholdoutmyhand.Idid.Shearchedherfacetothepalm,andporedoveritwithouttouchingit.“Itistoofine,”saidshe.“Icanmakenothingofsuchahandasthat;almostwithoutlines:besides,whatisinapalm?Destinyisnotwrittenthere.”“Ibelieveyou,”saidI.“No,”shecontinued,“itisintheface:ontheforehead,abouttheeyes,inthelinesofthemouth.Kneel,andliftupyourhead.”“Ah!nowyouarecomingtoreality,”Isaid,asIobeyedher.“Ishallbegintoputsomefaithinyoupresently.”

Ikneltwithinhalfayardofher.Shestirredthefire,so

thatarippleoflightbrokefromthedisturbedcoal:theglare,however,asshesat,onlythrewherfaceinto

deepershadow:mine,itillumined.“Iwonderwithwhatfeelingsyoucametometo-night,”shesaid,whenshehadexaminedmeawhile.“Iwonderwhatthoughtsarebusyinyourheartduringallthehoursyousitinyonderroomwiththefinepeopleflittingbeforeyoulikeshapesinamagic-lantern:justaslittlesympatheticcommunionpassingbetweenyouandthemasiftheywerereallymereshadowsofhumanforms,andnottheactualsubstance.”“Ifeeltiredoften,sleepysometimes,butseldomsad.”

333

“Thenyouhavesomesecrethopetobuoyyouupandpleaseyouwithwhispersofthefuture?”

“NotI.TheutmostIhopeis,tosavemoneyenoughoutofmyearningstosetupaschoolsomedayinalittlehouserentedbymyself.”

“Ameannutrimentforthespirittoexiston:andsitting

inthatwindow-seat(youseeIknowyourhabits)—““Youhavelearnedthemfromtheservants.”

“Ah!youthinkyourselfsharp.Well,perhapsIhave:tospeaktruth,Ihaveanacquaintancewithoneofthem,Mrs.Poole—“

IstartedtomyfeetwhenIheardthename.

“Youhave—haveyou?”thoughtI;“thereisdiablerieinthebusinessafterall,then!”

“Don’tbealarmed,”continuedthestrangebeing;“she’sasafehandisMrs.Poole:closeandquiet;anyonemayreposeconfidenceinher.But,asIwassaying:sittinginthatwindow-seat,doyouthinkofnothingbutyourfutureschool?Haveyounopresentinterestinanyofthecompanywhooccupythesofasandchairsbeforeyou?Istherenotonefaceyoustudy?onefigurewhose

movementsyoufollowwithatleastcuriosity?”“Iliketoobserveallthefacesandallthefigures.”

“Butdoyouneversingleonefromtherest—oritmaybe,two?”

334

“Idofrequently;whenthegesturesorlooksofapairseemtellingatale:itamusesmetowatchthem.”

“Whattaledoyoulikebesttohear?”

“Oh,Ihavenotmuchchoice!Theygenerallyrunonthesametheme—courtship;andpromisetoendinthesamecatastrophe—marriage.”

“Anddoyoulikethatmonotonoustheme?”“Positively,Idon’tcareaboutit:itisnothingtome.”

“Nothingtoyou?Whenalady,youngandfulloflifeandhealth,charmingwithbeautyandendowedwiththegiftsofrankandfortune,sitsandsmilesintheeyes

ofagentlemanyou—“

“Iwhat?”

“Youknow—andperhapsthinkwellof.”

“Idon’tknowthegentlemenhere.Ihavescarcelyinterchangedasyllablewithoneofthem;andastothinkingwellofthem,Iconsidersomerespectable,andstately,andmiddle-aged,andothersyoung,dashing,handsome,andlively:butcertainlytheyareallatlibertytobetherecipientsofwhosesmilestheyplease,withoutmyfeelingdisposedtoconsiderthetransactionofanymomenttome.”

“Youdon’tknowthegentlemenhere?Youhavenotexchangedasyllablewithoneofthem?Willyousaythatofthemasterofthehouse!”

335

“Heisnotathome.”

“Aprofoundremark!Amostingeniousquibble!HewenttoMillcotethismorning,andwillbebackhereto-nightorto-morrow:doesthatcircumstanceexcludehimfromthelistofyouracquaintance—blothim,asitwere,outofexistence?”

“No;butIcanscarcelyseewhatMr.Rochesterhastodowiththethemeyouhadintroduced.”

“Iwastalkingofladiessmilingintheeyesofgentlemen;andoflatesomanysmileshavebeenshedintoMr.Rochester’seyesthattheyoverflowliketwocupsfilledabovethebrim:haveyouneverremarkedthat?”

“Mr.Rochesterhasarighttoenjoythesocietyofhisguests.”

“Noquestionabouthisright:buthaveyouneverobservedthat,ofallthetalestoldhereaboutmatrimony,Mr.Rochesterhasbeenfavouredwiththemostlivelyandthemostcontinuous?”

“Theeagernessofalistenerquickensthetongueofanarrator.”Isaidthisrathertomyselfthantothegipsy,whosestrangetalk,voice,manner,hadbythistimewrappedmeinakindofdream.Oneunexpectedsentencecamefromherlipsafteranother,tillIgotinvolvedinawebofmystification;andwonderedwhatunseenspirithadbeensittingforweeksbymyheartwatchingitsworkingsandtakingrecordofeverypulse.

336

“Eagernessofalistener!”repeatedshe:“yes;Mr.Rochesterhassatbythehour,hisearinclinedtothefascinatinglipsthattooksuchdelightintheirtaskofcommunicating;andMr.Rochesterwassowillingtoreceiveandlookedsogratefulforthepastimegivenhim;youhavenoticedthis?”

“Grateful!Icannotrememberdetectinggratitudeinhisface.”

“Detecting!Youhaveanalysed,then.Andwhatdidyoudetect,ifnotgratitude?”

Isaidnothing.

“Youhaveseenlove:haveyounot?—and,lookingforward,youhaveseenhimmarried,andbeheldhisbridehappy?”

“Humph!Notexactly.Yourwitch’sskillisratheratfaultsometimes.”

“Whatthedevilhaveyouseen,then?”

“Nevermind:Icameheretoinquire,nottoconfess.IsitknownthatMr.Rochesteristobemarried?”

“Yes;andtothebeautifulMissIngram.”

“Shortly?”

“Appearanceswouldwarrantthatconclusion:and,nodoubt(though,withanaudacitythatwantschastisingoutofyou,youseemtoquestionit),theywillbeasuperlativelyhappypair.Hemustlovesucha

337

handsome,noble,witty,accomplishedlady;andprobablysheloveshim,or,ifnothisperson,atleasthispurse.IknowsheconsiderstheRochesterestateeligibletothelastdegree;though(Godpardonme!)Itoldhersomethingonthatpointaboutanhouragowhichmadeherlookwondrousgrave:thecornersofhermouthfellhalfaninch.Iwouldadviseherblackavicedsuitortolookout:ifanothercomes,withalongerorclearerrent-roll,—he’sdished—“

“But,mother,IdidnotcometohearMr.Rochester’sfortune:Icametohearmyown;andyouhavetoldmenothingofit.”

“Yourfortuneisyetdoubtful:whenIexaminedyourface,onetraitcontradictedanother.Chancehasmetedyouameasureofhappiness:thatIknow.IknewitbeforeIcameherethisevening.Shehaslaiditcarefullyononesideforyou.Isawherdoit.Itdependsonyourselftostretchoutyourhand,andtakeitup:butwhetheryouwilldoso,istheproblemIstudy.Kneelagainontherug.”

“Don’tkeepmelong;thefirescorchesme.”

Iknelt.Shedidnotstooptowardsme,butonlygazed,leaningbackinherchair.Shebeganmuttering,-

“Theflameflickersintheeye;theeyeshineslikedew;itlookssoftandfulloffeeling;itsmilesatmyjargon:itissusceptible;impressionfollowsimpressionthroughitsclearsphere;whereitceasestosmile,itissad;anunconsciouslassitudeweighsonthelid:thatsignifies

338

melancholyresultingfromloneliness.Itturnsfromme;itwillnotsufferfurtherscrutiny;itseemstodeny,byamockingglance,thetruthofthediscoveriesIhavealreadymade,—todisownthechargebothofsensibilityandchagrin:itsprideandreserveonlyconfirmmeinmyopinion.Theeyeisfavourable.

“Astothemouth,itdelightsattimesinlaughter;itisdisposedtoimpartallthatthebrainconceives;thoughIdaresayitwouldbesilentonmuchtheheartexperiences.Mobileandflexible,itwasneverintendedtobecompressedintheeternalsilenceofsolitude:itisamouthwhichshouldspeakmuchandsmileoften,andhavehumanaffectionforitsinterlocutor.Thatfeaturetooispropitious.

“Iseenoenemytoafortunateissuebutinthebrow;andthatbrowprofessestosay,—‘Icanlivealone,ifself-respect,andcircumstancesrequiremesotodo.Ineednotsellmysoultobuybliss.Ihaveaninwardtreasurebornwithme,whichcankeepmealiveifallextraneousdelightsshouldbewithheld,orofferedonlyatapriceIcannotaffordtogive.’Theforeheaddeclares,‘Reasonsitsfirmandholdsthereins,andshewillnotletthefeelingsburstawayandhurryhertowildchasms.Thepassionsmayragefuriously,liketrueheathens,astheyare;andthedesiresmayimagineallsortsofvainthings:butjudgmentshallstillhavethelastwordineveryargument,andthecastingvoteineverydecision.Strongwind,earthquake-shock,andfiremaypassby:butIshallfollowtheguidingofthatstillsmallvoicewhichinterpretsthedictatesofconscience.’

339

“Wellsaid,forehead;yourdeclarationshallberespected.Ihaveformedmyplans—rightplansIdeemthem—andinthemIhaveattendedtotheclaimsofconscience,thecounselsofreason.Iknowhowsoonyouthwouldfadeandbloomperish,if,inthecupofblissoffered,butonedregofshame,oroneflavourofremorseweredetected;andIdonotwantsacrifice,sorrow,dissolution—suchisnotmytaste.Iwishtofoster,nottoblight—toearngratitude,nottowringtearsofblood—no,norofbrine:myharvestmustbeinsmiles,inendearments,insweet—Thatwilldo.IthinkIraveinakindofexquisitedelirium.Ishouldwishnowtoprotractthismomentadinfinitum;butIdarenot.SofarIhavegovernedmyselfthoroughly.IhaveactedasIinwardlysworeIwouldact;butfurthermighttrymebeyondmystrength.Rise,MissEyre:leaveme;theplayisplayedout’.”

WherewasI?DidIwakeorsleep?HadIbeendreaming?DidIdreamstill?Theoldwoman’svoicehadchanged:heraccent,hergesture,andallwerefamiliartomeasmyownfaceinaglass—asthespeechofmyowntongue.Igotup,butdidnotgo.Ilooked;Istirredthefire,andIlookedagain:butshedrewherbonnetandherbandagecloseraboutherface,andagainbeckonedmetodepart.Theflameilluminatedherhandstretchedout:rousednow,andonthealertfordiscoveries,Iatoncenoticedthathand.Itwasnomorethewitheredlimbofeldthanmyown;itwasaroundedsupplemember,withsmoothfingers,symmetricallyturned;abroadringflashedonthelittle

340

finger,andstoopingforward,Ilookedatit,andsawagemIhadseenahundredtimesbefore.AgainIlookedattheface;whichwasnolongerturnedfromme—onthecontrary,thebonnetwasdoffed,thebandagedisplaced,theheadadvanced.

“Well,Jane,doyouknowme?”askedthefamiliarvoice.

“Onlytakeofftheredcloak,sir,andthen—““Butthestringisinaknot—helpme.”“Breakit,sir.”

“There,then—‘Off,yelendings!’”AndMr.Rochestersteppedoutofhisdisguise.

“Now,sir,whatastrangeidea!”

“Butwellcarriedout,eh?Don’tyouthinkso?”“Withtheladiesyoumusthavemanagedwell.”“Butnotwithyou?”

“Youdidnotactthecharacterofagipsywithme.”“WhatcharacterdidIact?Myown?”

“No;someunaccountableone.Inshort,Ibelieveyouhavebeentryingtodrawmeout—orin;youhavebeentalkingnonsensetomakemetalknonsense.Itis

scarcelyfair,sir.”

“Doyouforgiveme,Jane?”

341

“IcannottelltillIhavethoughtitallover.If,onreflection,IfindIhavefallenintonogreatabsurdity,Ishalltrytoforgiveyou;butitwasnotright.”

“Oh,youhavebeenverycorrect—verycareful,verysensible.”

Ireflected,andthought,onthewhole,Ihad.Itwasacomfort;but,indeed,Ihadbeenonmyguardalmostfromthebeginningoftheinterview.SomethingofmasqueradeIsuspected.Iknewgipsiesandfortune-tellersdidnotexpressthemselvesasthisseemingoldwomanhadexpressedherself;besidesIhadnotedherfeignedvoice,heranxietytoconcealherfeatures.ButmymindhadbeenrunningonGracePoole—thatlivingenigma,thatmysteryofmysteries,asIconsideredher.IhadneverthoughtofMr.Rochester.

“Well,”saidhe,“whatareyoumusingabout?Whatdoesthatgravesmilesignify?”

“Wonderandself-congratulation,sir.Ihaveyourpermissiontoretirenow,Isuppose?”

“No;stayamoment;andtellmewhatthepeopleinthedrawing-roomyonderaredoing.”

“Discussingthegipsy,Idaresay.”

“Sitdown!—Letmehearwhattheysaidaboutme.”

“Ihadbetternotstaylong,sir;itmustbeneareleveno’clock.Oh,areyouaware,Mr.Rochester,thatastrangerhasarrivedheresinceyouleftthismorning?”

342

“Astranger!—no;whocanitbe?Iexpectednoone;ishegone?”

“No;hesaidhehadknownyoulong,andthathecouldtakethelibertyofinstallinghimselfheretillyoureturned.”

“Thedevilhedid!Didhegivehisname?”

“HisnameisMason,sir;andhecomesfromtheWestIndies;fromSpanishTown,inJamaica,Ithink.”

Mr.Rochesterwasstandingnearme;hehadtakenmyhand,asiftoleadmetoachair.AsIspokehegavemywristaconvulsivegrip;thesmileonhislipsfroze:apparentlyaspasmcaughthisbreath.

“Mason!—theWestIndies!”hesaid,inthetoneonemightfancyaspeakingautomatontoenounceitssinglewords;“Mason!—theWestIndies!”hereiterated;andhewentoverthesyllablesthreetimes,growing,intheintervalsofspeaking,whiterthanashes:hehardly

seemedtoknowwhathewasdoing.

“Doyoufeelill,sir?”Iinquired.

“Jane,I’vegotablow;I’vegotablow,Jane!”Hestaggered.

“Oh,leanonme,sir.”

“Jane,youofferedmeyourshoulderoncebefore;letmehaveitnow.”

“Yes,sir,yes;andmyarm.”

343

Hesatdown,andmademesitbesidehim.Holdingmyhandinbothhisown,hechafedit;gazingonme,atthesametime,withthemosttroubledanddrearylook.

“Mylittlefriend!”saidhe,“IwishIwereinaquietislandwithonlyyou;andtrouble,anddanger,andhideousrecollectionsremovedfromme.”

“CanIhelpyou,sir?—I’dgivemylifetoserveyou.”

“Jane,ifaidiswanted,I’llseekitatyourhands;Ipromiseyouthat.”

“Thankyou,sir.Tellmewhattodo,—I’lltry,atleast,todoit.”

“Fetchmenow,Jane,aglassofwinefromthedining-room:theywillbeatsupperthere;andtellmeifMasoniswiththem,andwhatheisdoing.”

Iwent.Ifoundallthepartyinthedining-roomatsupper,asMr.Rochesterhadsaid;theywerenotseatedattable,—thesupperwasarrangedonthesideboard;eachhadtakenwhathechose,andtheystoodabouthereandthereingroups,theirplatesandglassesintheirhands.Everyoneseemedinhighglee;laughterandconversationweregeneralandanimated.Mr.Masonstoodnearth