牛津書蟲第6級(jí)6-01.Jane Eyre Chapter 33

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Chapter33

WhenMr.St.Johnwent,itwasbeginningtosnow;thewhirlingstormcontinuedallnight.Thenextdayakeenwindbroughtfreshandblindingfalls;bytwilightthevalleywasdriftedupandalmostimpassable.Ihadclosedmyshutter,laidamattothedoortopreventthesnowfromblowinginunderit,trimmedmyfire,andaftersittingnearlyanhouronthehearthlisteningtothemuffledfuryofthetempest,Ilitacandle,tookdown“Marmion,”andbeginning-

“DaysetonNorham’scastledsteep,

AndTweed’sfairriverbroadanddeep,

AndCheviot’smountainslone;

Themassivetowers,thedonjonkeep,

Theflankingwallsthatroundthemsweep,

Inyellowlustreshone”-

Isoonforgotstorminmusic.

Iheardanoise:thewind,Ithought,shookthedoor.No;itwasSt.JohnRivers,who,liftingthelatch,cameinoutofthefrozenhurricane—thehowlingdarkness—andstoodbeforeme:thecloakthatcoveredhistallfigureallwhiteasaglacier.Iwasalmostinconsternation,solittlehadIexpectedanyguestfromtheblocked-upvalethatnight.

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“Anyillnews?”Idemanded.“Hasanything

happened?”

“No.Howveryeasilyalarmedyouare!”heanswered,removinghiscloakandhangingitupagainstthedoor,towardswhichheagaincoollypushedthematwhichhisentrancehadderanged.Hestampedthesnowfromhisboots.

“Ishallsullythepurityofyourfloor,”saidhe,“butyoumustexcusemeforonce.”Thenheapproachedthefire.“Ihavehadhardworktogethere,Iassureyou,”heobserved,ashewarmedhishandsovertheflame.“Onedrifttookmeuptothewaist;happilythesnowisquitesoftyet.”

“Butwhyareyoucome?”Icouldnotforbearsaying.

“Ratheraninhospitablequestiontoputtoavisitor;butsinceyouaskit,Ianswersimplytohavealittletalkwithyou;Igottiredofmymutebooksandemptyrooms.Besides,sinceyesterdayIhaveexperiencedtheexcitementofapersontowhomatalehasbeenhalf-told,andwhoisimpatienttohearthesequel.”

Hesatdown.Irecalledhissingularconductofyesterday,andreallyIbegantofearhiswitsweretouched.Ifhewereinsane,however,hiswasaverycoolandcollectedinsanity:Ihadneverseenthathandsome-featuredfaceofhislookmorelikechiselledmarblethanitdidjustnow,asheputasidehissnow-wethairfromhisforeheadandletthefirelightshinefreeonhispalebrowandcheekaspale,whereitgrievedmetodiscover

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thehollowtraceofcareorsorrownowsoplainlygraved.Iwaited,expectinghewouldsaysomethingIcouldatleastcomprehend;buthishandwasnowathischin,hisfingeronhislip:hewasthinking.Itstruckmethathishandlookedwastedlikehisface.Aperhapsuncalled-forgushofpitycameovermyheart:Iwasmovedtosay-

“IwishDianaorMarywouldcomeandlivewithyou:itistoobadthatyoushouldbequitealone;andyouarerecklesslyrashaboutyourownhealth.”

“Notatall,”saidhe:“Icareformyselfwhennecessary.Iamwellnow.Whatdoyouseeamissinme?”

Thiswassaidwithacareless,abstractedindifference,whichshowedthatmysolicitudewas,atleastinhisopinion,whollysuperfluous.Iwassilenced.

Hestillslowlymovedhisfingeroverhisupperlip,andstillhiseyedweltdreamilyontheglowinggrate;thinkingiturgenttosaysomething,Iaskedhimpresentlyifhefeltanycolddraughtfromthedoor,whichwasbehindhim.

“No,no!”herespondedshortlyandsomewhattestily.

“Well,”Ireflected,“ifyouwon’ttalk,youmaybestill;I’llletyoualonenow,andreturntomybook.”

SoIsnuffedthecandleandresumedtheperusalof“Marmion.”Hesoonstirred;myeyewasinstantlydrawntohismovements;heonlytookoutamoroccopocket-book,thenceproducedaletter,whichhereadin

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silence,foldedit,putitback,relapsedintomeditation.Itwasvaintotrytoreadwithsuchaninscrutablefixturebeforeme;norcouldI,inimpatience,consenttobedumb;hemightrebuffmeifheliked,buttalkIwould.

“HaveyouheardfromDianaandMarylately?”“NotsincetheletterIshowedyouaweekago.”

“Therehasnotbeenanychangemadeaboutyourownarrangements?YouwillnotbesummonedtoleaveEnglandsoonerthanyouexpected?”

“Ifearnot,indeed:suchchanceistoogoodtobefallme.”Baffledsofar,Ichangedmyground.Ibethoughtmyselftotalkabouttheschoolandmyscholars.

“MaryGarrett’smotherisbetter,andMarycamebacktotheschoolthismorning,andIshallhavefournewgirlsnextweekfromtheFoundryClose—theywould

havecometo-daybutforthesnow.”

“Indeed!”

“Mr.Oliverpaysfortwo.”

“Doeshe?”

“HemeanstogivethewholeschoolatreatatChristmas.”

“Iknow.”

“Wasityoursuggestion?”

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“No.”

“Whose,then?”

“Hisdaughter’s,Ithink.”

“Itislikeher:sheissogood-natured.”

“Yes.”

Againcametheblankofapause:theclockstruckeightstrokes.Itarousedhim;heuncrossedhislegs,saterect,turnedtome.

“Leaveyourbookamoment,andcomealittlenearerthefire,”hesaid.

Wondering,andofmywonderfindingnoend,Icomplied.

“Half-an-hourago,”hepursued,“Ispokeofmyimpatiencetohearthesequelofatale:onreflection,Ifindthematterwillbebettermanagedbymyassumingthenarrator’spart,andconvertingyouintoalistener.Beforecommencing,itisbutfairtowarnyouthatthestorywillsoundsomewhathackneyedinyourears;butstaledetailsoftenregainadegreeoffreshnesswhentheypassthroughnewlips.Fortherest,whethertriteornovel,itisshort.

“Twentyyearsago,apoorcurate—nevermindhisnameatthismoment—fellinlovewitharichman’sdaughter;shefellinlovewithhim,andmarriedhim,againsttheadviceofallherfriends,whoconsequentlydisownedherimmediatelyafterthewedding.Before

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twoyearspassed,therashpairwerebothdead,andlaidquietlysidebysideunderoneslab.(Ihaveseentheirgrave;itformedpartofthepavementofahugechurchyardsurroundingthegrim,soot-blackoldcathedralofanovergrownmanufacturingtownin-shire.)Theyleftadaughter,which,atitsverybirth,Charityreceivedinherlap—coldasthatofthesnow-driftIalmoststuckfastinto-night.Charitycarriedthefriendlessthingtothehouseofitsrichmaternalrelations;itwasrearedbyanaunt-in-law,called(Icometonamesnow)Mrs.ReedofGateshead.Youstart—didyouhearanoise?Idaresayitisonlyaratscramblingalongtheraftersoftheadjoiningschoolroom:itwasabarnbeforeIhaditrepairedandaltered,andbarnsaregenerallyhauntedbyrats.—Toproceed.Mrs.Reedkepttheorphantenyears:whetheritwashappyornotwithher,Icannotsay,neverhavingbeentold;butattheendofthattimeshetransferredittoaplaceyouknow—beingnootherthanLowoodSchool,whereyousolongresidedyourself.Itseemshercareertherewasveryhonourable:fromapupil,shebecameateacher,likeyourself—reallyitstrikesmethereareparallelpointsinherhistoryandyours—sheleftittobeagoverness:there,again,yourfateswereanalogous;sheundertooktheeducationofthewardofacertainMr.Rochester.”

“Mr.Rivers!”Iinterrupted.

“Icanguessyourfeelings,”hesaid,“butrestrainthemforawhile:Ihavenearlyfinished;hearmetotheend.OfMr.Rochester’scharacterIknownothing,butthe

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onefactthatheprofessedtoofferhonourablemarriagetothisyounggirl,andthatattheveryaltarshediscoveredhehadawifeyetalive,thoughalunatic.Whathissubsequentconductandproposalswereisamatterofpureconjecture;butwhenaneventtranspiredwhichrenderedinquiryafterthegovernessnecessary,itwasdiscoveredshewasgone—noonecouldtellwhen,where,orhow.ShehadleftThornfieldHallinthenight;everyresearchafterhercoursehadbeenvain:thecountryhadbeenscouredfarandwide;novestigeofinformationcouldbegatheredrespectingher.Yetthatsheshouldbefoundisbecomeamatterofseriousurgency:advertisementshavebeenputinallthepapers;ImyselfhavereceivedaletterfromoneMr.Briggs,asolicitor,communicatingthedetailsIhavejustimparted.Isitnotanoddtale?”

“Justtellmethis,”saidI,“andsinceyouknowsomuch,yousurelycantellitme—whatofMr.Rochester?Howandwhereishe?Whatishedoing?Ishewell?”

“IamignorantofallconcerningMr.Rochester:theletternevermentionshimbuttonarratethefraudulentandillegalattemptIhaveadvertedto.Youshouldratheraskthenameofthegoverness—thenatureoftheeventwhichrequiresherappearance.”

“DidnoonegotoThornfieldHall,then?DidnooneseeMr.Rochester?”

“Isupposenot.”

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“Buttheywrotetohim?”

“Ofcourse.”

“Andwhatdidhesay?Whohashisletters?”

“Mr.BriggsintimatesthattheanswertohisapplicationwasnotfromMr.Rochester,butfromalady:itissigned‘AliceFairfax.’”

Ifeltcoldanddismayed:myworstfearsthenwereprobablytrue:hehadinallprobabilityleftEnglandandrushedinrecklessdesperationtosomeformerhauntontheContinent.Andwhatopiateforhisseveresufferings—whatobjectforhisstrongpassions—hadhesoughtthere?Idarednotanswerthequestion.Oh,mypoormaster—oncealmostmyhusband—whomIhadoftencalled“mydearEdward!”

“Hemusthavebeenabadman,”observedMr.Rivers.

“Youdon’tknowhim—don’tpronounceanopinionuponhim,”Isaid,withwarmth.

“Verywell,”heansweredquietly:“andindeedmyheadisotherwiseoccupiedthanwithhim:Ihavemytaletofinish.Sinceyouwon’taskthegoverness’sname,Imusttellitofmyownaccord.Stay!Ihaveithere—itisalwaysmoresatisfactorytoseeimportantpointswrittendown,fairlycommittedtoblackandwhite.”

Andthepocket-bookwasagaindeliberatelyproduced,opened,soughtthrough;fromoneofitscompartmentswasextractedashabbyslipofpaper,hastilytornoff:I

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recognisedinitstextureanditsstainsofultra-marine,andlake,andvermillion,theravishedmarginoftheportrait-cover.Hegotup,helditclosetomyeyes:andIread,tracedinIndianink,inmyownhandwriting,thewords“JANEEYRE”—theworkdoubtlessofsomemomentofabstraction.

“BriggswrotetomeofaJaneEyre:”hesaid,“theadvertisementsdemandedaJaneEyre:IknewaJaneElliott.—IconfessIhadmysuspicions,butitwasonlyyesterdayafternoontheywereatonceresolvedintocertainty.Youownthenameandrenouncethealias?”

“Yes—yes;butwhereisMr.Briggs?HeperhapsknowsmoreofMr.Rochesterthanyoudo.”

“BriggsisinLondon.IshoulddoubthisknowinganythingatallaboutMr.Rochester;itisnotinMr.Rochesterheisinterested.Meantime,youforgetessentialpointsinpursuingtrifles:youdonotinquirewhyMr.Briggssoughtafteryou—whathewantedwithyou.”

“Well,whatdidhewant?”

“Merelytotellyouthatyouruncle,Mr.EyreofMadeira,isdead;thathehasleftyouallhisproperty,andthatyouarenowrich—merelythat—nothingmore.”

“I!—rich?”

“Yes,you,rich—quiteanheiress.”

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Silencesucceeded.

“Youmustproveyouridentityofcourse,”resumedSt.Johnpresently:“astepwhichwilloffernodifficulties;youcanthenenteronimmediatepossession.YourfortuneisvestedintheEnglishfunds;Briggshasthewillandthenecessarydocuments.”

Herewasanewcardturnedup!Itisafinething,reader,tobeliftedinamomentfromindigencetowealth—averyfinething;butnotamatteronecancomprehend,orconsequentlyenjoy,allatonce.Andthenthereareotherchancesinlifefarmorethrillingandrapture-giving:THISissolid,anaffairoftheactualworld,nothingidealaboutit:allitsassociationsaresolidandsober,anditsmanifestationsarethesame.Onedoesnotjump,andspring,andshouthurrah!athearingonehasgotafortune;onebeginstoconsiderresponsibilities,andtoponderbusiness;onabaseofsteadysatisfactionrisecertaingravecares,andwecontainourselves,andbroodoverourblisswithasolemnbrow.

Besides,thewordsLegacy,Bequest,gosidebysidewiththewords,Death,Funeral.MyuncleIhadheardwasdead—myonlyrelative;eversincebeingmadeawareofhisexistence,Ihadcherishedthehopeofonedayseeinghim:now,Inevershould.Andthenthismoneycameonlytome:nottomeandarejoicingfamily,buttomyisolatedself.Itwasagrandboondoubtless;andindependencewouldbeglorious—yes,Ifeltthat—thatthoughtswelledmyheart.

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“Youunbendyourforeheadatlast,”saidMr.Rivers.“IthoughtMedusahadlookedatyou,andthatyouwereturningtostone.Perhapsnowyouwillaskhowmuch

youareworth?”

“HowmuchamIworth?”

“Oh,atrifle!Nothingofcoursetospeakof—twentythousandpounds,Ithinktheysay—butwhatisthat?”

“Twentythousandpounds?”

Herewasanewstunner—Ihadbeencalculatingonfourorfivethousand.Thisnewsactuallytookmybreathforamoment:Mr.St.John,whomIhadneverheardlaughbefore,laughednow.

“Well,”saidhe,“ifyouhadcommittedamurder,andIhadtoldyouyourcrimewasdiscovered,youcouldscarcelylookmoreaghast.”

“Itisalargesum—don’tyouthinkthereisamistake?”“Nomistakeatall.”

“Perhapsyouhavereadthefigureswrong—itmaybetwothousand!”

“Itiswritteninletters,notfigures,—twentythousand.”

Iagainfeltratherlikeanindividualofbutaveragegastronomicalpowerssittingdowntofeastaloneatatablespreadwithprovisionsforahundred.Mr.Riversrosenowandputhiscloakon.

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“Ifitwerenotsuchaverywildnight,”hesaid,“IwouldsendHannahdowntokeepyoucompany:youlooktoodesperatelymiserabletobeleftalone.ButHannah,poorwoman!couldnotstridethedriftssowellasI:herlegsarenotquitesolong:soImuste’enleaveyoutoyoursorrows.Good-night.”

Hewasliftingthelatch:asuddenthoughtoccurredtome.“Stoponeminute!”Icried.

“Well?”

“ItpuzzlesmetoknowwhyMr.Briggswrotetoyouaboutme;orhowheknewyou,orcouldfancythatyou,livinginsuchanout-of-the-wayplace,hadthepowertoaidinmydiscovery.”

“Oh!Iamaclergyman,”hesaid;“andtheclergyareoftenappealedtoaboutoddmatters.”Againthelatchrattled.

“No;thatdoesnotsatisfyme!”Iexclaimed:andindeedtherewassomethinginthehastyandunexplanatoryreplywhich,insteadofallaying,piquedmycuriositymorethanever.

“Itisaverystrangepieceofbusiness,”Iadded;“Imustknowmoreaboutit.”

“Anothertime.”

“No;to-night!—to-night!”andasheturnedfromthedoor,Iplacedmyselfbetweenitandhim.Helookedratherembarrassed.

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“Youcertainlyshallnotgotillyouhavetoldmeall,”Isaid.

“Iwouldrathernotjustnow.”

“Youshall!—youmust!”

“IwouldratherDianaorMaryinformedyou.”

Ofcoursetheseobjectionswroughtmyeagernesstoaclimax:gratifieditmustbe,andthatwithoutdelay;andItoldhimso.

“ButIapprisedyouthatIwasahardman,”saidhe,“difficulttopersuade.”

“AndIamahardwoman,—impossibletoputoff.”

“Andthen,”hepursued,“Iamcold:nofervourinfectsme.”

“WhereasIamhot,andfiredissolvesice.Theblazetherehasthawedallthesnowfromyourcloak;bythesametoken,ithasstreamedontomyfloor,andmadeitlikeatrampledstreet.Asyouhopeevertobeforgiven,Mr.Rivers,thehighcrimeandmisdemeanourofspoilingasandedkitchen,tellmewhatIwishtoknow.”

“Well,then,”hesaid,“Iyield;ifnottoyourearnestness,toyourperseverance:asstoneiswornbycontinualdropping.Besides,youmustknowsomeday,

—aswellnowaslater.YournameisJaneEyre?”“Ofcourse:thatwasallsettledbefore.”

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“Youarenot,perhaps,awarethatIamyournamesake?—thatIwaschristenedSt.JohnEyreRivers?”

“No,indeed!IremembernowseeingtheletterE.comprisedinyourinitialswritteninbooksyouhaveatdifferenttimeslentme;butIneveraskedforwhatnameitstood.Butwhatthen?Surely—“

Istopped:Icouldnottrustmyselftoentertain,muchlesstoexpress,thethoughtthatrusheduponme—thatembodieditself,—that,inasecond,stoodoutastrong,solidprobability.Circumstancesknitthemselves,fittedthemselves,shotintoorder:thechainthathadbeenlyinghithertoaformlesslumpoflinkswasdrawnoutstraight,—everyringwasperfect,theconnectioncomplete.Iknew,byinstinct,howthematterstood,beforeSt.Johnhadsaidanotherword;butIcannotexpectthereadertohavethesameintuitiveperception,soImustrepeathisexplanation.

“Mymother’snamewasEyre;shehadtwobrothers;oneaclergyman,whomarriedMissJaneReed,ofGateshead;theother,JohnEyre,Esq.,merchant,lateofFunchal,Madeira.Mr.Briggs,beingMr.Eyre’ssolicitor,wrotetouslastAugusttoinformusofouruncle’sdeath,andtosaythathehadlefthispropertytohisbrothertheclergyman’sorphandaughter,overlookingus,inconsequenceofaquarrel,neverforgiven,betweenhimandmyfather.Hewroteagainafewweekssince,tointimatethattheheiresswaslost,andaskingifweknewanythingofher.Anamecasuallywrittenonaslipofpaperhasenabledmetofindher

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out.Youknowtherest.”Againhewasgoing,butIsetmybackagainstthedoor.

“Doletmespeak,”Isaid;“l(fā)etmehaveonemomenttodrawbreathandreflect.”Ipaused—hestoodbeforeme,hatinhand,lookingcomposedenough.Iresumed

-

“Yourmotherwasmyfather’ssister?”

“Yes.”

“Myaunt,consequently?”

Hebowed.

“MyuncleJohnwasyouruncleJohn?You,Diana,andMaryarehissister’schildren,asIamhisbrother’s

child?”

“Undeniably.”

“Youthree,then,aremycousins;halfourbloodoneachsideflowsfromthesamesource?”

“Wearecousins;yes.”

Isurveyedhim.ItseemedIhadfoundabrother:oneIcouldbeproudof,—oneIcouldlove;andtwosisters,whosequalitiesweresuch,that,whenIknewthembutasmerestrangers,theyhadinspiredmewithgenuineaffectionandadmiration.Thetwogirls,onwhom,kneelingdownonthewetground,andlookingthroughthelow,latticedwindowofMoorHousekitchen,Ihadgazedwithsobitteramixtureofinterest

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anddespair,weremynearkinswomen;andtheyoungandstatelygentlemanwhohadfoundmealmostdyingathisthresholdwasmybloodrelation.Gloriousdiscoverytoalonelywretch!Thiswaswealthindeed!—wealthtotheheart!—amineofpure,genialaffections.Thiswasablessing,bright,vivid,andexhilarating;—notliketheponderousgiftofgold:richandwelcomeenoughinitsway,butsoberingfromitsweight.Inowclappedmyhandsinsuddenjoy—mypulsebounded,myveinsthrilled.

“Oh,Iamglad!—Iamglad!”Iexclaimed.

St.Johnsmiled.“DidInotsayyouneglectedessentialpointstopursuetrifles?”heasked.“YouwereseriouswhenItoldyouyouhadgotafortune;andnow,foramatterofnomoment,youareexcited.”

“Whatcanyoumean?Itmaybeofnomomenttoyou;youhavesistersanddon’tcareforacousin;butIhadnobody;andnowthreerelations,—ortwo,ifyoudon’tchoosetobecounted,—arebornintomyworldfull-grown.Isayagain,Iamglad!”

Iwalkedfastthroughtheroom:Istopped,halfsuffocatedwiththethoughtsthatrosefasterthanIcouldreceive,comprehend,settlethem:-thoughtsofwhatmight,could,would,andshouldbe,andthaterelong.Ilookedattheblankwall:itseemedaskythickwithascendingstars,—everyonelitmetoapurposeordelight.Thosewhohadsavedmylife,whom,tillthishour,Ihadlovedbarrenly,Icouldnowbenefit.Theywereunderayoke,—Icouldfreethem:theywere

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scattered,—Icouldreunitethem:theindependence,theaffluencewhichwasmine,mightbetheirstoo.Werewenotfour?Twentythousandpoundssharedequallywouldbefivethousandeach,justice—enoughandtospare:justicewouldbedone,—mutualhappinesssecured.Nowthewealthdidnotweighonme:nowitwasnotamerebequestofcoin,—itwasalegacyoflife,hope,enjoyment.

HowIlookedwhiletheseideasweretakingmyspiritbystorm,Icannottell;butIperceivedsoonthatMr.Rivershadplacedachairbehindme,andwasgentlyattemptingtomakemesitdownonit.Healsoadvisedmetobecomposed;Iscornedtheinsinuationofhelplessnessanddistraction,shookoffhishand,andbegantowalkaboutagain.

“WritetoDianaandMaryto-morrow,”Isaid,“andtellthemtocomehomedirectly.Dianasaidtheywouldbothconsiderthemselvesrichwithathousandpounds,sowithfivethousandtheywilldoverywell.”

“TellmewhereIcangetyouaglassofwater,”saidSt.John;“youmustreallymakeanefforttotranquilliseyourfeelings.”

“Nonsense!andwhatsortofaneffectwillthebequesthaveonyou?WillitkeepyouinEngland,induceyoutomarryMissOliver,andsettledownlikeanordinarymortal?”

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“Youwander:yourheadbecomesconfused.Ihavebeentooabruptincommunicatingthenews;ithasexcitedyoubeyondyourstrength.”

“Mr.Rivers!youquiteputmeoutofpatience:Iamrationalenough;itisyouwhomisunderstand,orratherwhoaffecttomisunderstand.”

“Perhaps,ifyouexplainedyourselfalittlemorefully,Ishouldcomprehendbetter.”

“Explain!Whatistheretoexplain?Youcannotfailtoseethattwentythousandpounds,thesuminquestion,dividedequallybetweenthenephewandthreeniecesofouruncle,willgivefivethousandtoeach?WhatIwantis,thatyoushouldwritetoyoursistersandtell

themofthefortunethathasaccruedtothem.”“Toyou,youmean.”

“Ihaveintimatedmyviewofthecase:Iamincapableoftakinganyother.Iamnotbrutallyselfish,blindlyunjust,orfiendishlyungrateful.Besides,IamresolvedIwillhaveahomeandconnections.IlikeMoorHouse,andIwillliveatMoorHouse;IlikeDianaandMary,andIwillattachmyselfforlifetoDianaandMary.Itwouldpleaseandbenefitmetohavefivethousandpounds;itwouldtormentandoppressmetohavetwentythousand;which,moreover,couldneverbemineinjustice,thoughitmightinlaw.Iabandontoyou,then,whatisabsolutelysuperfluoustome.Lettherebenoopposition,andnodiscussionaboutit;let

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usagreeamongsteachother,anddecidethepointatonce.”

“Thisisactingonfirstimpulses;youmusttakedaystoconsidersuchamatter,ereyourwordcanberegardedasvalid.”

“Oh!ifallyoudoubtismysincerity,Iameasy:youseethejusticeofthecase?”

“IDOseeacertainjustice;butitiscontrarytoallcustom.Besides,theentirefortuneisyourright:myunclegaineditbyhisownefforts;hewasfreetoleaveittowhomhewould:heleftittoyou.Afterall,justicepermitsyoutokeepit:youmay,withaclearconscience,consideritabsolutelyyourown.”

“Withme,”saidI,“itisfullyasmuchamatteroffeelingasofconscience:Imustindulgemyfeelings;Isoseldomhavehadanopportunityofdoingso.Wereyoutoargue,object,andannoymeforayear,IcouldnotforegothedeliciouspleasureofwhichIhavecaughtaglimpse—thatofrepaying,inpart,amightyobligation,andwinningtomyselflifelongfriends.”

“Youthinksonow,”rejoinedSt.John,“becauseyoudonotknowwhatitistopossess,norconsequentlytoenjoywealth:youcannotformanotionoftheimportancetwentythousandpoundswouldgiveyou;oftheplaceitwouldenableyoutotakeinsociety;oftheprospectsitwouldopentoyou:youcannot—”

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“Andyou,”Iinterrupted,“cannotatallimaginethecravingIhaveforfraternalandsisterlylove.Ineverhadahome,Ineverhadbrothersorsisters;Imustandwillhavethemnow:youarenotreluctanttoadmitmeandownme,areyou?”

“Jane,Iwillbeyourbrother—mysisterswillbeyoursisters—withoutstipulatingforthissacrificeofyourjustrights.”

“Brother?Yes;atthedistanceofathousandleagues!Sisters?Yes;slavingamongststrangers!I,wealthy—gorgedwithgoldIneverearnedanddonotmerit!You,penniless!Famousequalityandfraternisati