2021屆廣州市高三年級(jí)階段訓(xùn)練讀后續(xù)寫試題參考范文與考生樣卷

1、2021屆廣州市高三年級(jí)階段訓(xùn)練】讀后續(xù)寫試題參考范文及考生樣卷試題第二節(jié)讀后續(xù)寫（滿分25分）閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短 文。"Ada! Milk!” Mama called.Milk. It was Ada's turn to get it. Ada sighed and shut her first-aid book Her head hurt from reading in the dim morning light, but how else was she going to learn?Ada tied the cow

2、close to a tree. Somewhere down the mountain, some volun teer doctors were teachi ng medical skills to village n urses Ada heard Betty drive off hours ago. “She should have taken me with her. She thinks I'm too young, but she's wrong. I am already 16!” Ada thought.Ada carried the milk back t

3、o Mama, then wandered up the road. Roy, a village boy, had gotten a donkey, and some kids had gathered around to see it. Roy was always doing something to get attention. Like now: he was trying to stand on the animal's bare back.41 No wonder they dontrust kids with anything important： Ada though

4、t, sighing. She had just turned away when she heard a thud and a few screams Roy lay on the gro und n earby moaning in pain. The don key stood several meters away. “Roy!” The kids nearby ran towards him. "Get Betty,M one said. Ada shook her head. “Betty's gone to the city.” The other kids s

5、eemed frozen in place.Ada ran to where Roy was lying. She dropped to her knees on the dusty road. "Roy! Can you hear me?M Roy moaned in agony. Ada saw that one of his legs was crooked, bent a little sideways between the knee and the ankle. A broken leg!She remembered what the first-aid book had

6、 said about broken legs: if there is no ambulanee, straighten the bone before moving the victim There certainly wouldn't be any ambulance here. Ada looked back up the road. The other kids were still standing there, watching. "Victor!” Ada called to one of the boys. "Go get Roy's ma

7、ma, and find someone with a truck/1 She turned to the others. nGive me your shirts. We need something to tie his leg with." 注意：1. 續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2. 請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Ada then found a strong stick, which she would use to keep his leg straight.The next day, Betty came to Ada's home.解題分析1. 準(zhǔn)確解讀故事

8、背景和情節(jié)：故事背景：故事發(fā)生在某個(gè)醫(yī)療條件落后的邊遠(yuǎn)山區(qū)，主人公Ada是一位16歲 的少女，她比同齡人成熟沉穩(wěn)，對(duì)當(dāng)護(hù)士救人有著深厚興趣，并口覺閱讀急救書 籍獲取相關(guān)知識(shí)。然 而，護(hù)士 Betty卻認(rèn)為Ada年紀(jì)還小，不宜參與醫(yī)療培 訓(xùn)。Ada因此難過，不服氣。（核心沖突）故事發(fā)生：男孩Roy莽撞行事，在毛驢背上摔下來，摔斷了腿。然而，周圍沒 有能夠?qū)?施急救的醫(yī)療人員和醫(yī)療設(shè)備。（具體沖突）故事發(fā)展：在其他孩子因護(hù)士 Betty不在而不知所措時(shí)，Ada沉著地檢査Roy 的傷勢(shì)，并根據(jù)急救書上的指示鎮(zhèn)定地指揮孩子們協(xié)助她實(shí)施急救：她一邊遣人 去找Roy的母親和 卡車（送Roy去山下的醫(yī)院），

9、一邊吩咐男孩們把上衣脫 下來，用于綁直固定Roy骨折的腿。2. 合理接續(xù)上文情節(jié)，預(yù)測(cè)故事的結(jié)局：故事高潮：（續(xù)寫段落一）根據(jù)前文內(nèi)容以及兩個(gè)段首句可判斷，續(xù)寫的第一段應(yīng)圍繞Ada 如何解決具體沖突（有人需要急救）來展開，重要情節(jié)須包括：（1） Ada對(duì) Roy進(jìn)行簡(jiǎn)單必要的急救過程（可以通過動(dòng)作、語(yǔ)言、表情、心理等細(xì)節(jié)描寫， 重點(diǎn)突顯主人公的醫(yī)者仁心及急救過程的專業(yè)和有效，可穿插略寫Roy的行為 和感受）：（2）簡(jiǎn)要交代Roy母親的到來及其合理的反應(yīng)（如：安撫兒子， 感謝Ada等）；（3）簡(jiǎn)要交代Roy被卡車送去醫(yī)院，暗示沖突得到及時(shí)解決（也可簡(jiǎn)單補(bǔ)充專業(yè)醫(yī)生的評(píng)價(jià)等合理細(xì)節(jié)，但非必要細(xì)節(jié)）

10、。故事結(jié)局：（續(xù)寫段落二）根據(jù)前文內(nèi)容及故事結(jié)局的一般要求判斷，續(xù)寫的第 二段應(yīng)圍繞核心沖突（Ada不被認(rèn)可）的解決來展開，要回應(yīng)前文Betty對(duì) Ada的不信任，描述Betty對(duì)Ada的態(tài)度轉(zhuǎn)變：Ada出色的急救表現(xiàn)贏得了 Betty的贊賞和認(rèn)可。故事核心沖突最終得以圓滿解決。3. 表達(dá)得體、有效：主要情節(jié)與細(xì)節(jié)描寫的組織應(yīng)詳略得當(dāng)，故事推進(jìn)緊湊；句子間的邏輯連貫要清 晰合理；細(xì)節(jié)的展開要與上文埋設(shè)的線索相吻合，不要節(jié)外生枝，過度拓展。接 受符合故事發(fā)展的合理結(jié)局。參考范文Ada then found a strong stick, which she would use to keep h

11、is leg straight. She gently explained what she was going to do then carefully wrapped the shirts around Roy's leg and the stick Roy cried out in pain “I know it hurts/1 Ada said softly"But this will hold it still until you get to the hospital.n When Ada was done, she looked up and saw Roy&#

12、39;s mama watching from a few meters away. Behind her was a neighbor in a pickup truck. When Ada stepped away, Roy's mama ran over and held Roy's face in her hands. “Thank you, Ada,n she said Ada helped them lift Roy into the truck, then they drove down the hillside towards the hospital.The

13、Gexf day, Beffy came to 力da's home “I heard what you did，” Betty said. “You kept your head in an emergency That's an important skill.n Ada's face turned red. “I was afraid Betty shook her head “It's OK for a nurse to be afraid, as long as she has a clear head. The volunteer doctors a

14、re coming tomorrow with vaccines We need some more hands Can you help?” “I'd love to.n Ada replied at once. “Come early, then There is a lot to learn.n Ada smiled “I'll bring my first-aid book.”art 內(nèi)。右？空1 rarecLMtfv £xil仙sht cheered 問血 人弘Me volunteer doctor學(xué)生樣卷.評(píng)分及點(diǎn)評(píng)弟三部分弟一節(jié)i劉5挨號(hào)4H1 Hwn

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19、87;>10如的如尊最后一句是I can have the resolve and determination of a superhero.建議評(píng)分:21分分析：1. 內(nèi)容：內(nèi)容豐富，能夠較好地達(dá)到寫作目的，但是細(xì)節(jié)拓展有些過多，如做夢(mèng)的細(xì) 節(jié)，可以精簡(jiǎn)。2. 語(yǔ)言：使用了較高級(jí)的詞匯和語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)，表達(dá)生動(dòng)，但有些詞如maneuver使用有 點(diǎn)偏。3. 卷面：字距較小，比較密集，涂改較多，卷面可以更加整潔。第三部分第二節(jié)讀后續(xù)寫Ada lhen fi)imd a strog $tich which she woidd use lo keep his leg Waighf UJhife廣

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22、a(Jorru 心£s_jnom ri.甜fear bUrfh hp妙必n 航匕卅血g加wait Pl her心ij fo 恢 "gL 蝕建議評(píng)分：19分分析：1 內(nèi)容：與前文融洽度不錯(cuò)，完成寫作任務(wù)，細(xì)節(jié)豐富但還可以進(jìn)一步精簡(jiǎn)，例如第一段可 以更快進(jìn)入主題，第二K最后不必worry about the milk.2.語(yǔ)言：能夠使用較為豐富的詞匯和語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)，存在一點(diǎn)語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤。第三部分第二節(jié)讀后續(xù)寫Adu ihg伽nd astick, which $he would itfe lo keeD h訂 收 $"aZe加 S/)£ "Vg d 才/i

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26、ky soid tha 十 $/>g dpMed to rakw Ada w/力 hwf Td /gaFn 十力e medical sXills in order To help m”吃 pecpie力This /'mdwnrg . Agfa “。忙”以rhok iT t is i mpoua 卄 far Y"tjcng “I”" Go/nw fird aid$kfS nth訂* and 汁 would bg» h】pf ul whila outdat)rs 建議評(píng)分:16-17分 分析:1 內(nèi)容：整體完整，但是存在一定的錯(cuò)誤，第一段說把Roy送到v

27、ictim那里;第二 段Ada和Betty反了，沒有任何對(duì)話，也沒有強(qiáng)調(diào)出Betty對(duì)她改觀，情節(jié)t匕較平 淡。2-語(yǔ)言：存在一定的語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤,不影響整體理解。3. 卷面：書寫工整，較少涂改，卷面整潔美觀。第三部分第二節(jié)讀后續(xù)寫/Ida the” found a strong stick, which $he wo“/d use fo keep h訂 /eg waighf. 2/少怙/L_此 0"© Ms S“汕 匕 hygl扌Igjgf 乙almdo眥 zr "g""! Tbnd； (qsI/J k“yij fjnfd3r&%Jly |

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30、SpY0« hw k隊(duì)ppinevs建議評(píng)分：16分 分析:1內(nèi)容：基本達(dá)成寫作任務(wù)，個(gè)別細(xì)節(jié)不合理如“with great lucky.M r段間銜接合理, 但可惜段內(nèi)再分了段,不符合寫作要求。2-語(yǔ)言：存在一定的詞匯使用錯(cuò)誤,不影響整體理解。3.卷面：字跡不夠工整，有部分涂改。第三部分 第二節(jié) 讀后續(xù)寫Ada lhenfinmd a Wong nidhich $he would use g keep hi, leg uraigfu. Ah -fHt-f_OS_HmjM： as 如kb. Evon%卜必poi2. FwnSt'IL 血丫比（mt qjinij 嚴(yán) i"敘/y shd I加Qaw! oth£/ _k胡 held 1x22 "Ah 乃aCare , 勺 t/idnt_紐 m“ebkmo