SlaveryGaveMeNothingtoLose黑奴的歷史對(duì)我沒(méi)有什么損失

1、SlaveryGaveMeNothingtoLoseIremembertheverydaythatIbecameblack.UptomythirteenthyearIlivedinthelittleNegrotownofEatonville,Florida.Itisexclusivelyablacktown.TheonlywhitepeopleIknewpassedthroughthetowngoingtoorcomingfromOrlando,Florida.Thenativewhitesrodedustyhorses,andthenortherntouriststraveleddownth

2、esandyvillageroadinautomobiles.ThetownknewtheSouthernersandneverstoppedchewingsugarcanewhentheypassed.ButtheNorthernersweresomethingelseagain.Theywerepeeredatcautiouslyfrombehindcurtainsbythetimid.Theboldwouldcomeoutsidetowatchthemgopastandgotjustasmuchpleasureoutofthetouristsasthetouristsgotoutofth

3、evillage.Thefrontdeckmightseemafrighteningplacefortherestofthetown,butitwasafrontrowseatforme.Myfavoriteplacewasontopofthegatepost.NotonlydidIenjoytheshow,butIdidntmindtheactorsknowingthatIlikedit.Iusuallyspoketotheminpassing.Idwaveatthemandwhentheyreturnedmywave,Iwouldsayafewwordsofgreeting.Usually

4、theautomobileorthehorsepausedatthis,andafterastrangeexchangeofgreetings,Iwouldprobablygoapieceofthewaywiththem,aswesayinfarthestFlorida,andfollowthemdowntheroadabit.Ifoneofmyfamilyhappenedtocometothefrontofthehouseintimetoseeme,ofcoursetheconversationwouldberudelybrokenoff.Duringthisperiod,whitepeop

5、ledifferedfromblacktomeonlyinthattheyrodethroughtownandneverlivedthere.Theylikedtohearmespeakpiecesandsingandwantedtoseemedance,andgavemegenerouslyoftheirsmallsilverfordoingthesethings,whichseemedstrangetomeforIwantedtodothemsomuchthatIneededbribingtostop.Onlytheydidntknowit.Thecoloredpeoplegavenoco

6、ins.Theydisapprovedofanyjoyfultendenciesinme,butIwastheirZoranevertheless.Ibelongedtothem,tothenearbyhotels,tothecountryeverybodysZora.ButchangescametothefamilywhenIwasthirteen,andIwassenttoschoolinJacksonville.IleftEatonvilleasZora.WhenIgotofftheriverboatatJacksonville,shewasnomore.ItseemedthatIhad

7、sufferedahugechange.IwasnotZoraofEatonvilleanymore;Iwasnowalittleblackgirl.Ifounditoutincertainways.Inmyheartaswellasinthemirror,Ibecameapermanentbrownlikethebestshoepolish,guaranteednottorubnorrun.SomeoneisalwaysatmyelbowremindingmethatIamthegranddaughterofslaves.Itfailstoregisterdepressionwithme.S

8、laveryissomethingsixtyyearsinthepast.Theoperationwassuccessfulandthepatientisdoingwell,thankyou.TheterriblewarthatmademeanAmericaninsteadofaslavesaidOntheline!TheperiodfollowingtheCivilWarsaidGetset!;andthegenerationbeforemesaidGo!Likeafootrace,IamofftoaflyingstartandImustnothaltinthemiddletolookbeh

9、indandweep.SlaveryisthepriceIpaidforcivilization,andthechoicewasnotwithme.Nooneoneartheverhadagreaterchanceforglory.Theworldtobewonandnothingtobelost.Itisthrillingtothink,toknow,thatforanyactofmine,Ishallgettwiceasmuchpraiseortwiceasmuchblame.Itisquiteexcitingtoholdthecenterofthenationalstage,withth

10、eaudiencenotknowingwhethertolaughortoweep.Idonotalwaysfeelcolored.EvennowIoftenachievetheunconsciousZoraofthatsmallvillage,Eatonville.Forinstance,Icansitinarestaurantwithawhiteperson.Weenterchattingaboutanylittlethingsthatwehaveincommonandthewhitemanwouldsitcalmlyinhisseat,listeningtomewithinterest.

11、AtcertaintimesIhavenorace,Iamme.Butinthemain,Ifeellikeabrownbagofmixeditemsproppedupagainstawall.Againstawallincompanywithotherbags,white,redandyellow.Pouroutthecontents,andthereisdiscoveredapileofsmallthingsbothvaluableandworthless.Bitsofbrokenglass,lengthsofstring,akeytoadoorlongsincedecayedaway,a

12、rustyknife-blade,oldshoessavedforaroadthatneverwasandneverwillbe,anailbentundertheweightofthingstooheavyforanynail,adriedflowerortwostillwithalittlesmell.Inyourhandisthebrownbag.Onthegroundbeforeyouisthepileitheldsomuchlikethepilesintheotherbags,couldtheybeemptied,thatallmightbecombinedandmixedinasi

13、ngleheapandthebagsrefilledwithoutalteringthecontentofanygreatly.Abitofcoloredglassmoreorlesswouldnotmatter.PerhapsthatishowtheGreatStufferofBagsfilledtheminthefirstplacewhoknows?黑奴的歷史對(duì)我沒(méi)有什么損失我清楚地記得我成為黑人的那一天。13歲之前我一直住在佛羅里達(dá)州的一個(gè)黑人小鎮(zhèn)伊頓維爾。小鎮(zhèn)的居民全是黑人。我所接觸過(guò)的僅有的白人都是來(lái)自佛羅里達(dá)的奧蘭多或是去往奧蘭多的過(guò)客。本地的白人騎著風(fēng)塵仆仆的馬匹，而北方來(lái)的旅游

14、者則駕著汽車(chē)沿著鄉(xiāng)下的沙土路一路駛來(lái)。小鎮(zhèn)的人見(jiàn)慣了南方人，因此他們經(jīng)過(guò)時(shí)小鎮(zhèn)的人照舊大嚼甘蔗。但是看到北方人則又是另一回事了。小鎮(zhèn)的人膽小的就躲在窗簾后小心翼翼地偷看他們，膽大的則會(huì)走出屋外看著他們經(jīng)過(guò)，感到很開(kāi)心，就像這些旅游者看到這村莊也感到很有樂(lè)趣一樣。上門(mén)前平臺(tái)去可能會(huì)嚇壞鎮(zhèn)上其他人，但對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，那兒就像前排座位一樣。我最?lèi)?ài)坐在門(mén)柱上。我不僅喜歡在那兒看人們來(lái)來(lái)往往，也不在乎讓那些人知道我喜歡看，順便還與他們搭幾句話(huà)。我向他們揮手，如果他們也向我揮手，我還與他們打招呼。對(duì)此，騎馬或駕車(chē)的人通常會(huì)停下來(lái)，我們不可思議地互打招呼之后，我可能會(huì)隨著他們顛兒幾步，這是我們佛羅里達(dá)最南邊的說(shuō)法

15、，意思是跟著他們走上一小段路。如果正趕上家里人碰巧來(lái)到房前見(jiàn)到我，他們當(dāng)然就會(huì)毫不客氣地打斷我們的交談。那段日子里，在我看來(lái)，白人和黑人的不同只不過(guò)是他們路過(guò)鎮(zhèn)上，但從不住在鎮(zhèn)上。他們喜歡聽(tīng)我說(shuō)幾句，聽(tīng)我唱歌，想看我跳舞，并為此大方地給我小銀幣。這倒使我感到奇怪，因?yàn)槲姨敢飧麄冋f(shuō)上幾句，為他們唱歌跳舞了，得給我錢(qián)才能使我停下來(lái)。只是他們不知道這一點(diǎn)。黑人不會(huì)給我錢(qián)，對(duì)我表現(xiàn)出的任何一點(diǎn)歡樂(lè)的苗頭，他們都不贊同。但我仍然是他們的佐拉，我是屬于他們，屬于周?chē)穆灭^，屬于那個(gè)地方，屬于每一個(gè)人的佐拉。但我13歲時(shí)，家里發(fā)生了變故，我被送到杰克遜維爾的學(xué)校去了。離開(kāi)伊頓維爾時(shí)我還是我，佐拉?？稍诮?/p>

16、克遜維爾下了船后，原來(lái)的佐拉不復(fù)存在了。我似乎已發(fā)生了巨大的變化，我再也不是伊頓維爾的佐拉了，我現(xiàn)在成了個(gè)小黑妞。在好幾方面我都發(fā)現(xiàn)了自己的這種變化。不僅在鏡中，也在內(nèi)心深處，我變成了永遠(yuǎn)不黑不白的棕色人-就像那最好的鞋油，不會(huì)被抹掉，也永不褪色。身邊總有人不斷提醒我自己是個(gè)奴隸的后代，但這并沒(méi)有使我沮喪。奴隸制是60年前的事了。解放黑奴這場(chǎng)手術(shù)很成功，病人的情況也不錯(cuò)，謝謝。這場(chǎng)使我從黑奴變?yōu)槊绹?guó)公民的可怕戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)對(duì)我叫道各就各位！內(nèi)戰(zhàn)后的那段時(shí)期說(shuō)預(yù)備！我的上一代人喊道跑！就像一場(chǎng)賽跑一樣，我飛速起跑，決不可中途停步，回望傷心。黑奴的歷史是我為文明生活所付的代價(jià)，而作出這一選擇的并不是我。世界上再?zèng)]有什么人有過(guò)比此更大的爭(zhēng)取榮耀的機(jī)會(huì)了。想想將要獲得的新生活，而且我們沒(méi)有任何損失。不管我做什么，都可能得到雙倍的嘉獎(jiǎng)，或是雙份的責(zé)難。想想這一點(diǎn)，知道這一點(diǎn)都令人激動(dòng)不已。占據(jù)國(guó)內(nèi)舞臺(tái)的中心可真刺激，而臺(tái)下的觀眾則不知是喜是憂(yōu)。我沒(méi)有老是感到自己是有色人種。甚至現(xiàn)在我感覺(jué)自己還是在伊頓維爾小鎮(zhèn)上的懵然無(wú)知的佐拉。比如,我可以在餐館和一位白人坐在一起。我們閑談一些平常的瑣事,白人會(huì)安靜地坐著，興味盎然地聽(tīng)著。有時(shí)候我不屬于任何人種，我就是我自己。但我大體上還是感覺(jué)自己像一只靠墻立著裝滿(mǎn)各種雜物的棕色皮袋子?？繅α⒅倪€有其他顏色的袋子，