2016專四作文講評及寫作指導

一、2016年專業(yè)四級寫作題目大要（一）測試要求：寫一篇200個單詞左右的作文，考試時間45分鐘，計20分。（二）2016年專四作文評分標準：1.summary（6分）2.comments（12分）A.思想與表達（ideasandarguments）7分（滿分7分，此中6-7分優(yōu)秀，4-5分優(yōu)秀，3分一般，1-2分較差。）（1）思想內容（content）內容貼題；內容充分；見解明確；論據支持論點；有獨到見解。（2）表完收效（effectiveness）表達清楚；有說服力。（3）篇章組織結構（rhetoricalorganization）每段有主題句；句間連結自然；段間過渡自然；第一部分明確提出見解；最后一部分自然得出結論；段落擺列合理。B.語言運用能力（languageuse）5分（滿分5分，此中5分優(yōu)秀，3-4分優(yōu)秀，2分一般，1分較差。）（1）正確性（correctness）語法正確；句子結構正確；固定搭配正確；用詞正確。（2）豐富性（richness）詞匯豐富；句子形式多樣。（3）得體性（appropriateness）語氣適合；語言地道。3.寫作規(guī)范mechanics（2分）（滿分2分，此中2分優(yōu)秀，1.5分優(yōu)秀，1分一般，0.5分較差）單詞拼寫正確；標點符號正確；大小寫正確；書寫雅觀；卷面齊整。優(yōu)選范文1Whenitcomestowhetherparentsshouldtaketheirchildrentospendholidaysduringterm-time,viewsontheissuevaryfrompersontoperson（.引入話題）Parentsclaimthatbydoingso,theycansavealotofmoneybornofbusyschoolholidays.Educationalofficialsstronglyopposethistendencyonthegroundthatitencouragestruancy,whichinturndamagesachild’（s兩education種見解）.Asaresult,UK’seducationauthoritiesarenowbanningparentsfromtakingtheirchildrenforholidaysduringterm-timetosavemoney（.概括資料）Frommyperspective,themeritsofbanningterm-timeholidaysoutweighitsdemerits（.陳述見解）Tobeginwith,takingtoughmeasuresonthiskindoftruancyisconducivetothenormalteachingprocess,oneofthekeyelementstoguaranteekidacademicperformance（.原因一）Asweknow,currently,teachershavethediscretiontoapproveacertaintimeofabsencefromschoolforeachchild.Bydefinitelyabolishingtherightofheadteachersto“authorizeabsence”fromtheclassroom,thoseteacherscanrarelybepesteredbyparentswhowanttotakechildrentogoonaholidayjusttosavemoney,whichseverelydisruptsteachingprocess（.詳細論證一）What’smore,withoutstrictpenaltiesimposedontheparentswholeadtotheirkid’splayingtruant,thoseparentscangraduallyviewaskingforholidayleaveasaright.（原因二）Oncethisculturalexpectationisformed,theleveloftruancywilldramaticallyincrease（.假設論證二）Accordingly,thegrowingtrendofterm-timeholidaysshouldbebannedwithnodelay.（重申論點）Inthisway,teacherscanimpartknowledgewithoutdisturbanceandparentswillbedeterredfromsavingmoneyattheexpenseofsacrificingtheirkid’seducation.范文2NewresearchhasshownthatalmostfouroutoftenparentsintheUKhavetakentheirchildrenoutofschooltogoonholidays.（描述背景）Costisthemainreasongivenbyparentsforsacrificingtheirchildren’seducation.Parentsaretobebanned,優(yōu)選however,byUK’sEducationAuthority,fromtakingtheirchildrenoutofschooltogoduringtermtime.（總結資料。圍繞兩點：cost,ban）Shouldlocalauthoritiesstaggerschoolholidaystoenablefamilieswithchildrentotakeadvantageoftravelbargains?Orisitwrongforparentstojeopardizetheirchildren’seducationforthesakeofacheaperholiday?AsfarasIamconcerned,educationismoreimportant.（提出見解）Firstly,children’seducationmustcomefirst.Acheapholidayduringtheschoolseasonshouldn’tbethehildreasontotakeacoutofschool.Someparentsarenotwillingtosacrificeorscheduletheirlivesintermsoftheirchildren’sneeds.Thiskindofattitudewillinfluencetheirchildrendeeply.Itnowondersomanykidsarenotinterestedinschoolanddoneirstudy’ttakethseriously.（論據一）Secondly,schoolisn’tdaycarecenter.It’saneducationalinstitutionthatneedseverystudenttofollowitsrules.Takingachildonholidaywhenschoolisinsessionwilldisturbtheorderoftheschool.（論據二）Besides,itisdisruptiveforthechild,becausehewillhavetocatchupwhenhereturns（.論據三）Allinall,takingchildrenoutofschoolforacheaperholidayisirresponsiblebehavior（.總結前文）Thoseparentswouldriskbeingfinedfinanciallyandmorally.It’snotonlydskithatneedtogrowup——alotofparentsneedtoaswell.優(yōu)選二、2016專四寫作部分問題解析（一）作文審題問題。1.不熟習專四改革后的寫作題目設計特色，只看資料馬上著手寫作，忽略了對材料的解析和概括。2.題目要修業(yè)生：Youshouldcommentonwhetherparentsshouldtakechildrenoutofschoolforholidaysduringtermtimeinordertosavemoney。有相當一部分學生對題目中提到的家長可否應該利用假期帶領孩子出游的見解進行了詳細的論證，但是他們忽略了題目要求的最后一個重要信息：inordertosavemoney，致使學生在闡述個人見解時根本沒有涉及savemoney。（二）語篇連結問題。在寫作過程中若是忽略語篇的連結，就會致使句子和句子之間的邏輯凌亂、層次不分明、不能夠有力地論證見解。比方：Iaminclinedtobanthetermtimeholidays.Itcansavemoney.Childrenarebasedonthebeliefthattoprovestudyskills.Schoolsareagoodplaceforchildrentopractice（非連結句）Iaminclinedtobanthetermtimeholidaysbecauseitcansavemoney.Foronething,childrencanimprovetheirstudyskillsatschoolwhichisagoodplaceforchildrentopracticetheirabilities（連結句）（三）語言功底問題：句式單一，語法錯誤，詞匯誤用，用詞缺少變化。Isupportsuchthingbythegovernment.Educationplaysaveryimportantroleinaperson’sdevelopmentinearlieryears.Withouteducation,heretmaybemoresocialproblems,andthepoorpeoplehavefewerchancestomoveupwardthesocialladder.（句式單一，用詞簡單）Iaminsupportofsuchmovebythegovernmentbecauseeducationliesintheheartofaperson’sdevelop