讀后續(xù)寫練習(xí)寫作指導(dǎo)：林中探險(xiǎn)火海迷途 講義-2023屆高三英語復(fù)習(xí)寫作專項(xiàng)

讀后續(xù)寫練習(xí)寫作指導(dǎo)：林中探險(xiǎn)，火海迷途講義續(xù)寫題目讀后續(xù)寫閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。Bradywasarecentlyretiredsearchandrescuedog.HewasnothappyandmissedhisownerAlbecauseAlhadgoneoutonarescuemissionwithouthim.Al'snephewStevetookBradyalongwhenheandhisfriendZachwentonaovernighth汰e.ButsuddenlySteveandZachsmelledsomethingburningandtheyrealizedthatlightninghadsetthewoodsonfire.Wind-blownflamehadleapedfromthetopofonetreetoanother.Thelongdrysummerhadturnedtheforestintoatinderbox（^<絨箱）andthethunderstormwasn'thelpingmuch.Ithadmorewindandlightningthanrain.ZachpulledSteve'sarm."Let'sgo!Wecanmakeitbacktotheriverwecrossedtoday/'StevepulledBrady'sleash（皮帶）andtheirheadsdownagainstthestrongfire-wind,theyhurrieddownthepaththeyhadfollowedearlier.Theairwasfullofsmoke,andpinebranchesbrokefromburningtreeswithacrispsound.Stevekepthiseyesontheroute.Alltheyhadtodowastomakeitdowntotheriver.Bradybarkedasharpwarning.Aheadofthemlayadensecurtainofsmokeacrossthepath.They'dnevermakeitthroughthat.Theywouldhavetofindanotherescaperoute.Thedogwaspullingathisleashtryingtodrawthemawayfromthesmoke.ThiswaswhatBradywastrainedtodo,andyetStevewasuneasy.Itseemedtohimtheyweremovingawayfromtheriver.Bradyliftedhisheadandsmelledthesmokywind.Suddenly,thedogranawayanddisappeared.Theboysyelledandshoutedforhim,buthedidn'tcomeback.Theyhadnochoicebuttoleavehimbehind.Heartsick,SteveandZachwentupaslope（斜坡）,Hecouldn'tblameBradyforpanickingandescaping.Hehimselfwantedtoruneventhoughhedidn'thaveacluewhichway.Theyhadn'tgonefarwhentherewasafamiliarbark,andBradycamerunningtowardhim.Paragraphl："Whereveyoubeen?"Stevecried.Paragraph2：Bradyledthembackdowntheslopeandintothetrees.續(xù)寫答案Paragraphl："WhereVeyoubeen?"Stevecried.Thesmokehaddarkenedhisskinandtheroaringflamesbelowrenderedhisvoicealmostindistinguishable.Bradyseemedtounderstandthattheyhadnotimetowaste.NippingSteve'spants,hestartedpulling.Seeingthedirectionhewasaimingat,bothZachandStevehesitated.Meanwhile,thefire,exacerbatedbythewind,wasgrowingbiggerandjumpingcloser.Lookingateachotherintheeye,theydecidedtotrustBradyandactwithspeed.Paragraph2：Bradyledthembackdowntheslopeandintothetrees.Havingcoveredtheirmouthandnosewithdampedtowels,theybravedthroughtheashes.Yet,theordealseemedneverending.Atthemomentwhentheirblurredvisionandleadenlegsthreatenedtofail,suddenlyafamiliarbabblepenetratedthedensesmoke.Astheystumbledahead,thetreesbecamesparseandfinallygavewaytoasilveryribbon.Aftercarefullycrossingtheriver,ZachandStevefellbesidetheirfurryfriend,whohadleftthemindespairbutreturnedwithhope.續(xù)寫逐句精析Paragraphl："WhereVeyoubeen?"Stevecried.（首段續(xù)寫根據(jù)提示語決定首尾。第一句說句'Steve叫道「你去哪兒了？〃〃第二句說句'Brady帶著他們返回坡下,進(jìn)入林中?！敲吹谝欢蔚慕Y(jié)尾自然是"人決定相信狗，向坡下逃生"。通過邏輯倒退，前一環(huán)應(yīng)是，〃狗的行為釋放去坡下的信號(hào)〃。這中間，狗是如何傳遞信息？人又是如何被〃說服〃的呢？下面進(jìn)入分句精析。）Thesmokehaddarkenedhisskinandtheroaringflamesbelowrenderedhisvoicealmostindistinguishable.（〃濃煙熏黑了Steve的皮膚，且劇烈燃燒的火焰讓他的聲音幾乎聽不清楚。〃首段提示語以問題形式出現(xiàn)，但第一句我沒有寫B(tài)rady的反應(yīng)，而是先描寫了Steve此時(shí)的狀態(tài)，同時(shí)烘托出火勢(shì)的嚴(yán)峻。這句話有兩處語言上的思考：.火情借助濃煙和聲音來凸顯，表達(dá)自然且合理，避免與下文直接描寫火焰重復(fù)；.Renderhisvoiceindistinguishable.用詞清新準(zhǔn)確,且聽不清楚說話的聲音,也為下文不設(shè)計(jì)對(duì)話做出合理鋪墊。）Bradyseemedtounderstandthattheyhadnotimetowaste.（"Brady似乎理解已經(jīng)沒有時(shí)間可浪費(fèi)了?！〝M人化處理Brady,塑造出符合原文〃retiredsearchandrescuedog退役的搜救犬〃的聰穎形象，為Brady成功帶領(lǐng)Steve和Zach逃生做鋪墊。此外，強(qiáng)調(diào)情況緊急，也鋪墊了Brady下一步的直接行動(dòng)。）NippingSteve'spants,hestartedpulling.（nip:牛津pinch,squeeze,orbitesharply:e.g.thedognippedhimon"ie/eg,此處形容Brady咬住Steve褲子的動(dòng)作，分外恰當(dāng)，又比bite清新。其次，Brady的動(dòng)作也解答了上面的問題"狗如何傳遞信息？”動(dòng)作符合讀者對(duì)dog的行為預(yù)期，增強(qiáng)了文章的互動(dòng)性和閱讀的沉浸感。）Seeingthedirectionhewasaimingat,bothZachandStevehesitated.（"看到"他〃扯動(dòng)的方向,兩人都猶豫了。首先是人稱代詞的選取he指代Brady,thedog符合原文用法。續(xù)寫過程中涉及到動(dòng)物時(shí)，特別要注意的一點(diǎn)。其次，為什么這句話不直接說Brady扯動(dòng)的方向，而要繞一個(gè)彎呢？其實(shí)是有原因的：讀者閱讀到第二段提示語時(shí)將會(huì)得知具體方向信息，此處在不影響劇情的情況下，既避免語言上的重復(fù)，又可以保留一層懸念。最后，當(dāng)讀者繼續(xù)閱讀，得知Brady提示他們往坡下撤離時(shí)，回頭過來看hesitated又能有一重驚喜。為什么他們會(huì)猶豫？因?yàn)樵闹蠸teve和Zach是在火海中迷路后，專門跑到坡上的。由此可推理出，坡下火情當(dāng)更加嚴(yán)重，所以面對(duì)Brady的提示才會(huì)不決。這句話描寫的人物反應(yīng)，符合原文劇情和人物特點(diǎn)。）Meanwhile,thefirefexacerbatedbythewind,wasgrowingbiggerandjumpingcloser.（那么猶豫之下，又是什么迫使他們做出決定的呢？〃與此同時(shí)，被風(fēng)浪煽動(dòng)的火海正越變?cè)酱?，越跳越近?！℅row和jump賦予火海生命力。面對(duì)步步緊逼的火焰，向坡下成功撤離的可能越來越小，決定必須做出了。Exacerbate：牛津make（aproblem,badsituation,ornegativefeeling）w/orse符合此處干風(fēng)助燃的情形，用詞準(zhǔn)確。）Lookingateachotherintheeye,theydecidedtotrustBradyandactwithspeed.（〃兩人對(duì)視一眼，決定相信Brady并立刻還是行動(dòng)?！ㄟ@段話中，Steve,Zach,Brady,smoke,flame,voice兩人一狗，嗅覺，視覺，聽覺輪番上陣，人物、動(dòng)物與環(huán)境交錯(cuò)出鏡，共同營(yíng)造出故事的互動(dòng)性和閱讀沉浸感。至此，首段結(jié)束。）Paragraph2：Bradyledthembackdowntheslopeandintothetrees.（第二段聚焦Steve,Zach,Brady的逃亡之路。根據(jù)原文提示，〃Alltheyhadtodowastomakeitdowntotheriver.”逃生的終點(diǎn)應(yīng)是Steve,Zach,Brady來時(shí)渡過的河流。那么這條河流何時(shí)出現(xiàn)？如何出現(xiàn)？第二段劇情設(shè)計(jì)，又該如何體現(xiàn)Steve一行所遇到的挑戰(zhàn)，賦予環(huán)境生命力，以及設(shè)計(jì)一個(gè)能概括全文，升華主題的結(jié)尾？下面進(jìn)入分句精析。）Havingcoveredtheirmouthandnosewithdampedtowels,theybravedthroughtheashes.（這句話有三重設(shè)計(jì)思考：原文中這樣鋪墊火情，"Aheadofthemlayadensecurtainofsmokeacrossthepath."那么這一行逃生時(shí)，為避免因滾滾濃煙窒息，用打濕的毛巾捂住口鼻是合理且必要的行為。brave：牛津endureorface（unpleasantconditionsorbehavior）without全"用brave替換常用的struggle,在此處不僅恰當(dāng)，且更能體現(xiàn)人物的心理。throughtheashes.一場(chǎng)森林大火，不僅有濃煙，火焰，樹枝斷裂的聲音，還有無處不在的灰燼。不斷豐富的火場(chǎng)細(xì)節(jié)，讓故事的真實(shí)性更上一層。）Yet,theordealseemedneverending.（但逃出生天怎可能如此簡(jiǎn)單？ordeal：牛津apainfulorhorrificexperience,especiallyaprotractedone在身體的所有器官都受到火海折磨，逃生顯得分外漫長(zhǎng)的此刻，用。rdeal格外恰當(dāng)。）Atthemomentwhentheirblurredvisionandleadenlegsthreatenedtofail,suddenlyafamiliarbabblepenetratedthedensesmoke.（根據(jù)讀后續(xù)寫溫暖人心地寫作原則，最終Steve一行肯定要成功逃生，抵達(dá)來時(shí)的河流。那么這條河流該何時(shí)出現(xiàn)，又如何出現(xiàn)呢？〃就在他們模糊的視線和灌了鉛的腿試圖罷工之時(shí)，突然，一陣熟悉的潺潺穿透了濃密的煙霧?！ㄟ@句話有三重巧思：.劇情上。于絕境綻放的花朵分外驚艷。象征著希望的河流出現(xiàn)在Steve一行精疲力盡，到達(dá)極限的時(shí)刻，更顯故事張力。.語言上，用blurredvisiona