2023屆重慶市二診讀后續(xù)寫人與自然和諧相處：小蠕蟲 講義

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。Agroupofboysrantosmallpartsofmudtoplay.Ijoinedthem.Oneboyheldupaworm(蠕蟲),andwithanextremelystrongpull,hetorethepoorcreatureinhalf.Howcouldanyonebesocruel?Irantothenearestplaygroundsupervisor(主曾人)toreporttheincident.Thesupervisorsighedandwavedmeaway.Somethinghadtobedone.推斷出：Howcouldanyonebesocruel?“cruel殘忍”是我對別人折騰蠕蟲的態(tài)度，也是本篇文章很關(guān)鍵的情感詞。這里需要反思后文“我報復(fù)”theWormRipper就上不殘忍了嗎？原文協(xié)同解讀：mud是續(xù)寫的背景信息。Mudplayisnotonlyawaytomakepreciouschildhoodmemories,it’salsoagreatwayforchildren.Medicalresearchshowsthatitcanalsobegoodforyourchild’sphysicalandemotionalhealth.WhenIreturnedtothemud,Iinspectedthetwohalvesofthewormandwasastonishedtofindthattheywerestillmoving.Iquicklypickedupthewormsandalittleextradirtandputthemintomyjeanspocket.Afewminutesbeforelunch,Itiptoedtothebinthatheldtheclass'slunchboxes,lookingfortheonethatbelongedtotheWormRippertheboywhohadtornthewormcruelly,Fortunatelyforme,Irecognizeditimmediately.IlookedbehindmetobesurenoonesawmebeforeslippingthewormpiecesinsidetheplasticbaggiethatheldhisappleslicesIheldmybreathastheWormRipperpulledtheappleslicesfromhislunchbox.Whenhenoticedtheworm.heletoutasharpcry,whichbroughtthelunchroomsupervisorstohim.推斷出：theWormRipper看到蟲子時的心情是“驚恐“的，銜接續(xù)寫第二段：勇敢說服其他男孩不要殘殺蠕蟲。Ishould'vefelttriumphant(大獲全勝的).Instead,myheartpoundedinmychest.IknewwhatIhadtodo.Iwalkeduptolunchsupervisorsandadmitted,“Itwasme!Iputtheworminhislunchbox."推斷出：我勇于承認錯誤，卻很緊張。銜接續(xù)寫第一段校長對我的態(tài)度轉(zhuǎn)變。TheWormRipperglaredinmydirection,Onesupervisorrubbedhisbacktocomforthim,whiletheotherorderedmetogototheheadmistress'soffice.TheWorm

Ripper

glaredinmydirection.“glare”和上文提到的“heletoutasharpcry”是蠕蟲開膛手對我報復(fù)事件的態(tài)度。也是本篇文章很關(guān)鍵的情感詞，可聯(lián)系到后文續(xù)寫情緒變化。HeadmistressLehrerwasastrictoldwoman.MybestfriendRickysaidshewouldlookstudentsintheeyemakingthemtellhereverythingbadtheyhadeverdone.Thentheywerepunishedbywritingapologiesuntiltheirhandsfellof.Lexpectedtoatleastreceiveaseverescolding(訓(xùn)斥).推斷出：后文校長聽我解釋，也不那么“strict嚴格的”和“serious嚴肅的”。續(xù)寫可以刻畫校長態(tài)度的反差。注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。第一段：AfterItoldherthetruth,withakindof'strangesmileonherlips,shewentdownonherknees.第二段：Thenextday,notallowedtogooutforbreak,istaredoutandwatchedaboybythemudpilepickingupaworm.文本分析：1.文章行文思路是什么？本文以人物為線索展開，講述了作者I和“一群男孩”在一小塊泥地去玩，其中一個小男孩成為了ThewormRipper把一只worm撕成了兩半，我跑到最近的操場主管人那里報告了這件事，主管卻嘆了口氣，置之不理，揮手讓我走，“我”覺得該事件很殘忍，實在沒辦法，必須做點什么，用自己的方法來報復(fù)他，（把蟲子放在他的午餐盒里）。結(jié)果是，Thewormripper（蠕蟲開膛手）受到到了驚嚇，我勇敢承認拉我的所作所為，被其他主管人命令去校長辦公室。而校長卻是一位難對付的女人，我希望至少會受到一次嚴厲的訓(xùn)斥就算過去。2.

文章有哪些可續(xù)寫點，以便設(shè)置銜接？見文章紫色批注。3.續(xù)寫思路是什么？第一段：告訴她真相，奇怪的微笑并蹲下來——①校長的語言描寫和神態(tài)描寫，對我的批評?！谖业膭幼髅鑼懀乙詾檩p而易舉離開——③被懲罰下周不能去外面操場耍。第二段：不允許外出休息，我盯著外面，看著一個男孩在泥堆旁撿一只蟲子?！傥乙詾槭怯忠獨埡οx子，心驚膽戰(zhàn)——②是Thewormripper上一次的蠕蟲開膛手來勸說——③主人公的個人成長總結(jié)文章主題是什么？本文主人公面臨道德困境并采取行動，導(dǎo)致后果和解決方案。文本還突出了同情、公正和個人責任的主題。文本的主題是道德行為和道德決策。它探討了即使是小行動也可以產(chǎn)生影響的觀念，以及堅持正確的事情可能很困難，但最終是有益的。Theintentionofthestoryistoeducatepeopletobekindtotheanimals./remindofthelessonthatone'sgoodbehaviorwillmakeadifferencetoothers.參考范文：AfterItoldherthetruth,withakindofstrangesmileonherlips,shewentdownonherknees."WhenIwasyourage,Igotmadatsomeoneforhurtingmyfriend.Theyapologized,andwebecamefriends,too.Iappreciatethatyoutriedtostandupfortheworm,buttrytokeepthecreepy-crawlies(出)outside,okay?"saidLehrer.Inoddedandturnedtoleave,thinkingIhadgottenoffeasily.Istillhadmywritinghand,andI'donlyhadtoadmitonemisdeed.“Wait!"theheadmistresscalled.Iturnedaround,"You'llbestayinginforbreakforthenextweek.Thenextday,notallowedtogooutforbreak,IstaredoutandwatchedaboybythemudpilepickupawormIfearfullythoughtwhatwouldhappentoitsincelcouldn'tbeoutsidetopersuadehimnottohurtit,Hehelditbybothendsandlookedlikehewasabouttopull,Thensomeoneranacrosstheplaygroundtotalktohim.ItwastheWormRipper,Aftertheirconversation,theboygentlyplacedthewormbackinthemud,Ismiled.PerhapsIhadmadeadifferenceafterall.原文語言欣賞：I..withanextremelystrongpull,hetorethepoorcreatureinhalf.2....thesupervisorsighedandwavedmeaway.3......ltiptoedtothebinthatheldtheclass'slunchboxed,lookingfortheonethatbelongedto.4.IheldmybreathastheWormRipperpulledthe..5.Instead,myheartpoundedinmychest.高分語言積累：蠕蟲的動作細節(jié)描寫積累1.Thewormwriggledthroughthedampsoil,leavingbehindatrailofslime.(蠕蟲在潮濕的土壤中蠕動，留下一條黏液的痕跡。)2.Thewormstretchedoutitsslenderbodyandbegantoburrowdeeperintotheground.(蠕蟲伸展它纖細的身體，開始深入地下挖掘。)3.Thewormreactedtotherainbycomingtothesurfaceofthesoil