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WhenIwasinmiddleschool,mysocialstudiesteacheraskedmetoenterawritingcontest.Isaidnowithoutthinking.Ididnotlovewriting.MyfamilycamefromBrazil,soEnglishwasonlymysecondlanguage.WritingwassodifficultandpainfulformethatmyteacherhadallowedmetopresentmypaperonthesinkingoftheTitanicbyactingoutaplay,whereIplayedalltheparts.Noonelaughedharderthanhedid.
So,whydidhesuddenlyforcemetodosomethingatwhichIwassuretofail?Hisreply:“BecauseIloveyourstories.Ifyou’rewillingtoapplyyourself,Ithinkyouhaveagoodshotatthis.”
Encouragedbyhiswords,Iagreedtogiveitatry.IchosePaulRevere’shorseasmysubject.PaulReverewassilversmith(銀匠)inBostonwhorodeahorseatnightonApril18,1775toLexingtontowarnpeoplethatBritishsoldierswerecoming.Mystorywouldcomestraightfromthehorse’smouth.Notabrilliantidea,butfunny;andunlikelytobeanyoneelse’schoice.
Whatdidthehorsethink,ashespedthroughthenight?Didhegettired?Havedoubts?Didhewanttoquit?Isympathizedimmediately.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.But,likeRevere’shorse,Ikeptgoing.
Iworkedhard.Icheckedmyspelling.Iaskedmyoldersistertocorrectmygrammar.Icheckedoutahalf-dozenbooksonPaulReverefromthelibrary.Ievenreadafewofthem.
WhenIhandedintheessaytomyteacher,hereadit,laughedoutloud,andsaid,“Great.Now,writeitagain.”
Iwroteitagain,andagainandagain.WhenIfinallyfinishedit,thethoughtofwinninghadgivenwaytotheenjoymentofwriting.IfIdidn’twin,Iwouldn’tcare.Paragraph1:
Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.Paragraph2:
Iwenttotheteacher’sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.語篇分析Conflict1Solution1①WhenIwasinmiddleschool,mysocialstudiesteacheraskedmetoenterawritingcontest,Isaidnowithoutthinking.Ididnotlovewriting.MyfamilycamefromBrazil,soEnglishwasonlymysecondlanguage.WritingwassodifficultandpainfulformethatmyteacherhadallowedmetopresentmypaperonthesinkingoftheTitanicbyactingoutaplay,whereIplayedalltheparts.Noonelaughedharderthanhedid.②So,whydidhesuddenlyforcemetodosomethingatwhichIwassuretofail?Hisreply:“BecauseIloveyourstories.Ifyou’rewillingtoapplyyourself,Ithinkyouhaveagoodshotatthis.”Encouragedbyhiswords,Iagreedtogiveitatry.③IchosePaulRevere’shorseasmysubject.PaulReverewasasilversmith(銀匠)inBostonwhorodeahorseatnightonApril18,1775toLexingtontowarnpeoplethatBritishsoldierswerecoming.Mystorywouldcomestraightfromthehorse’smouth.Notabrilliantidea,butfunny,andunlikelytobeanyoneelse’schoice.語篇分析Conflict2Solution2④Whatdidthehorsethink,asspedthroughthenight?Didhegettired?Havedoubts?Didhewanttoquit?Isympathizedimmediately.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.…④…But,likeRevere'shorse,Ikeptgoing.Iworkedhard.Icheekedmyspelling.Iaskedmyoldersistertocorrectmygrammar.Icheckedoutahalf-dozenbooksonPaulReverefromthelibrary.Ievenreadafewofthem.⑤WhenIhandedintheessaytomyteacher,hereadit,laughedoutloudandsaid,“Great.Now,writeitagain.”Iwroteitagain,andagainandagain.WhenIfinallyfinishedit,thethoughtofwinninghadgivenwaytotheenjoymentofwriting.IfIdidn’twin.Iwouldn’tcare.Teacher:看到我,表達祝賀1234512345Para.2:Iwenttotheteacher’sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.續(xù)寫框架:五五拍戲法Para.1:WhenIalmostforgotthecontest,thenewscame.承上Teacher:消息內(nèi)容——獲獎I:決定親自感謝老師被邀請參加頒獎典禮I:聽后反應(yīng)——開心承上永遠(yuǎn)不要讓自我懷疑定義我們的生活I(lǐng):繼續(xù)寫作+成為一名優(yōu)秀作家I:表達感謝故事結(jié)局Teacher:鼓勵我繼續(xù)寫作啟下情感態(tài)度價值觀升華①⑥⑦②③⑧⑨④⑤獎杯不僅屬于我,也屬于老師
Paragraph1:
Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.第一句:Iwonthefirstprize.MyteachertoldmethatIhadwonthefirstprize.IwasinformedthatIhadwonthefirstprizeinthewritingcontest.Muchtomydisbeliefandjoy,IwasinformedthatIhadwonthefirstprizeinthewritingcontest.IwasinformedthatIhadwonthefirstprizeinthewritingcontest,feelingincredibleandoverjoyed.第二句:Iwashappyandsurprised.Hearingtheunexpectednews,Iwasovercomewithastonishmentanddelight.Hearingtheunexpectednews,IwassodelightedthatIjumpedupanddown.ThemomentIheardthenews,
myfacelitupwithdelight.第三句:Iwasinvitedtoattendtheawardpresentation.Thenextday,Iwasinvitedtoattendtheawardpresentation.
第四句:Theschoolmasterpresentedatrophytome.Atthepresentationceremony,theschoolmasterpresentedatrophytome,witharoundofthunderousapplause.第五句:Iknowthistrophynotonlybelongstome.Iknowthis
trophynotonlybelongstome,butalsobelongstomyteacher,withoutwhomIwouldbeunlikelytobeawardedtheprize.第六句:Idecidedtothankhiminperson.Therefore,
Idecidedtothankhiminperson.Para2:Icametotheteachersofficeaftertheawardpresentation.第一句:Myteacherstoodupandcongratulatedme.Atthesightofme,myteacherstoodupandhuggedmeenthusiastically,saying“Congratulations!Youreallyhaveagoodshotattellingstory.Iamproudofyou.”Seeingmycomingwiththetrophy,myteacherstoodupandhuggedmeenthusiastically.Atthesightofme,hesaidwithanadmiringsmile“Congratulations!Youreallyhaveagoodshotattellingstory.Iamproudofyou.”第二句:Iexpressedmythankstomyteacger.“Thankyou.Withoutyourhelp,Iwouldn'thaveachievedwhatIhavetoday.”Irespondedgratefully.“Thankyou.It’syouthatmakemefallinlovewithwriting.Withoutyourrecognitionandencouragement,Iwouldn'thavewonthep
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