【公開課課件】讀后續(xù)寫9

1、讀后續(xù)寫評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)給分原則學(xué)生問題應(yīng)對策略 一原卷原文及要求 第二節(jié)第二節(jié) 讀后續(xù)寫讀后續(xù)寫(滿分滿分 25 分分) 67. 閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。A couple of months before I started high school, my parents gave me the greatest gift any teenage boy could ask for: a cellphone. I lived on that phone all summer with my face buried in its screen. I texted w

2、ith every friend who was lucky enough to have a texting plan. I ignored my family and my surroundings. Being connected was more important than being present.So, you can imagine my displeasure when l learned what my dad had planned for our family vacation that year. “This year,” my dad said, “well be

3、 doing something special. Were going camping!” His excitement was met with a disappointed sigh. It wasnt my dream vacation, but I remained unbothered throughout the packing and planning. My mind was on my phone. I was so buried in the screen, in fact, that the first time I can remember truly looking

4、 up was when we drove across a bridge on the way to our campsite.I stared out the window and saw redwoods towering above us, their branches threatening to pierce (刺破) the blue sky. I saw a roaring river, with slivers of silky black water appearing between crashing white rapids. The air blowing into

5、the car from the open windows was hot and smelled of pine. But none of that mattered to me. The reason I had looked up was for something far more serious. My phone no longer had service.The last hour of the drive was increasingly tense. My dad announced that he had chosen a campsite that had no cell

6、 service, and that my phone would be useless until we returned home. I would be trapped in the forest for four days with no way to contact the outside world! I went through the full cycle of teenage emotions during the first day of the trip. I raged ( 發(fā)怒). I bargained. I begged. I flip-flopped (轉(zhuǎn)變)

7、from a depressive state to anger and back. I went to bed angry that night. But when I awoke in the morning, something had changed. 注意： 1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右； 2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。 Paragraph 1:Instead of burying myself in my phone, I focused on something else: my surroundings. _ Paragraph 2:The next four days

8、 passed in a flash with many fun activities. _二、寫作正評的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)、給分原則、學(xué)生問題及應(yīng)對策略。 讀后續(xù)寫： 1.評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn) 內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)定檔次；語言表達(dá)見高低；篇章結(jié)構(gòu)、銜接、書寫、卷面做微調(diào)。 認(rèn)真理解第一段提供的首句Insteadofburyingmyselfinmyphone,Ifocusedonsomethingelse:mysurroundings.圍繞surroundings（3T：things、thoughts&touched等3個(gè)要點(diǎn)）進(jìn)行描述；第二段提供的首句Thenextfourdayspassedinaflashwit

9、hmanyfunactivities.圍繞所做activities、效果result及升華theme（art）等3個(gè)要點(diǎn)，有三聯(lián)（聯(lián)系、連貫、聯(lián)想），最后要有主題升華（1個(gè)要點(diǎn)）（手機(jī)不重要，重要的是和家人一起共享自然的快樂時(shí)光）（共7個(gè)要點(diǎn)）。 續(xù)寫的主題必須是正能量的biglove。 認(rèn)真閱讀原文明確情節(jié)和情感發(fā)展（depressive、anger到peace到excitement最后到grateful）過程。 語言表達(dá)要豐富。 續(xù)寫的步驟要求（1.聯(lián)系原文。2.前后連貫。3.要有合理性。） 2.給分原則 五檔劃分： 第五檔（21-25分占9%）：內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)齊全，語言表達(dá)豐富，卷面整潔清晰。

10、 第四檔（16-20分占32%）：內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)齊全，用復(fù)合句表達(dá)允許些須小錯(cuò)或者用簡單句表達(dá)基本正確。 第三檔（11-15分占23%）：內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)有遺漏，有一定的邏輯，續(xù)寫基本完整，用簡單詞匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu)。 第二檔（6-10分占12%）：續(xù)寫內(nèi)容不完整，錯(cuò)誤較多。 第一檔（1-5占9%）：與原文內(nèi)容、情景基本脫節(jié)。 0分占15%。 字?jǐn)?shù)不夠酌情扣分，字?jǐn)?shù)超過不扣分。 文章至少2評，相差3分以上需要三評，再差3分需要四評。 評卷均速45秒；均分14分和15分（除0分外）3.學(xué)生問題：4.應(yīng)對策略： 1.內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)為王時(shí)代來臨，內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)一定要涵蓋，即便詞匯表達(dá)不熟，也不能偏離這條主線和要求，只要有要點(diǎn)，單詞

11、拼錯(cuò)句子不通也好酌情給分，偏離內(nèi)容要求，文章語言書寫卷面再好都不給分，教師在平時(shí)改卷的過程中也要遵循這個(gè)原則。 2.建議學(xué)生在平時(shí)考試時(shí)在內(nèi)容要求的關(guān)鍵單詞下用點(diǎn)標(biāo)注出來，以便加強(qiáng)內(nèi)容要求的意識，也方便教師給分。 3.寫作是介于書面表達(dá)和語文作文間的一種題型，書面表達(dá)更注重語言表達(dá)，語文作文更注重內(nèi)容的創(chuàng)新和思想的升華，而寫作注重的是內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)要忠言原文，再看語言表達(dá)和卷面書寫等。寫作非作文，不能隨意發(fā)揮。寫作要數(shù)理化，內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)關(guān)鍵詞最重要。 4.建議學(xué)校使用這次適應(yīng)性考試的網(wǎng)上評卷系統(tǒng)“海云天科技”seaskyland，里邊的數(shù)據(jù)可以更符合高考改卷的各項(xiàng)數(shù)據(jù)。 2021-20222021-20

12、22學(xué)年仙游私立一中高三上學(xué)期期中考英語試卷學(xué)年仙游私立一中高三上學(xué)期期中考英語試卷 讀后續(xù)寫讀思言教學(xué)設(shè)計(jì)讀后續(xù)寫讀思言教學(xué)設(shè)計(jì)福建省仙游縣私立一中傅章興 編者按：編者按：2021年初8省聯(lián)考首現(xiàn)讀后續(xù)寫。本堂課以2021-2022學(xué)年仙游私立一中高三上學(xué)期期中考英語試卷為教材，展示讀后續(xù)寫的讀思言設(shè)計(jì)思路：以產(chǎn)出為導(dǎo)向，指導(dǎo)學(xué)生理解人物、梳理情節(jié)、抓住要點(diǎn)，使之承上啟下、言之成理、順理成章。 67. 閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。（原文略） 文本分析：文本分析：敘事文，全文5段349詞（不含續(xù)寫首句），作者講述自己高中階段從極度依賴手機(jī)到親近自然回歸親情，享受

13、和家人在一起的美好時(shí)光的蛻變過程。故事一波三折：先是父母給自己買完手機(jī)自己沉迷其中從而淡化親情遠(yuǎn)離自然；接著因父親要安排野營，不能再玩手機(jī)而不悅；然后由于網(wǎng)絡(luò)等客觀條件限制，自己只能被動(dòng)接觸手機(jī)以外的事物；最后作者在親近自然和家人的過程中發(fā)現(xiàn)，覺得最重要的事莫過于感恩親人和大自然，而非自己一直沉迷的手機(jī)。 教學(xué)過程：教學(xué)過程： 讀：讀全文讀：讀全文解人物解人物理情節(jié)理情節(jié) 持續(xù)默讀5-6分鐘，邊讀邊勾畫書寫故事人物和情節(jié)。讀后回答若干問題。 Q1: What is the story about? A: The story is about a high student who changes

14、 his attitude to a cellphone. Q2: How many people are there in the story? What do you think of them? A: The father and the son. I think the father is smart and considerate and the son is the one who acknowledges wrong and then corrects himself immediately though sometimes emotional. Q3: How did the

15、father solve his sons problem of cellphone addiction? A: His dad planned for his family vacation that year. His sons phone no longer had service. when the son awoke in the next morning, something had changed. 思：析首句思：析首句抓要點(diǎn)抓要點(diǎn)搭支架搭支架 第一段首句Insteadofburyingmyselfinmyphone,Ifocusedonsomethingelse:mysurro

16、undings.surroundings是切入點(diǎn)，有很大的想象空間。圍繞surroundings（3T：things、thoughts&touched等3個(gè)要點(diǎn)）進(jìn)行描述； 第二段首句Thenextfourdayspassedinaflashwithmanyfunactivities.圍繞所做activities、效果result及升華theme（art）等3個(gè)要點(diǎn)，進(jìn)行描述。 有三聯(lián)（聯(lián)系、連貫、聯(lián)想），最后要有主題升華（1個(gè)要點(diǎn)）（手機(jī)不重要，重要的是和家人一起共享自然的快樂時(shí)光） （共7個(gè)要點(diǎn)） 。 續(xù)寫的主題必須是正能量的biglove。 認(rèn)真閱讀原文明確情節(jié)和情感發(fā)展（dep

17、ressive、anger到peace到excitement最后到grateful）過程。 語言表達(dá)要豐富。 續(xù)寫的步驟要求（1.聯(lián)系原文。2.前后連貫。3.要有合理性。） 教師組織Pairwork或Groupwork。 第一段：就Insteadofburyingmyselfinmyphone,Ifocusedonsomethingelse:mysurroundings.展開討論、記錄內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)； 第二段，就Thenextfourdayspassedinaflashwithmanyfunactivities.以同樣活動(dòng)方式說出所見所思所感、寫出關(guān)鍵詞語。 言：設(shè)任務(wù)言：設(shè)任務(wù)寫續(xù)文寫續(xù)文評習(xí)作評

18、習(xí)作 根據(jù)前文本、2個(gè)提示句與思環(huán)節(jié)內(nèi)容支架，續(xù)寫2段話，詞數(shù)150左右，15分鐘完成。 范文： 第二節(jié)讀后續(xù)寫(滿分25分) Para 1: Instead of burying myself in my phone, l focused on something else: my surroundings. I let the noise of the wilderness wash over me, animals and bugs（以上為things） creating a ruckus that was both loud and serene at the same time. M

19、y anger turned to peace, then little interest and, finally, excitement（以上為thoughts）. Standing on the high campsite, I felt the weight of stress melt from my shoulders as I viewed the vast expanse that unfolded below me. The sight that met my startled（touched） eyes nearly took my breath away. For the first time, I thought camping in a place that had no cell s