高中英語 開放式作文詳解

1、 開放作文研討與開放作文研討與2010北京高考樣卷說明北京高考樣卷說明 20102010高考說明（文科）第高考說明（文科）第7777頁(yè)頁(yè) 主要考查考生根據(jù)主要考查考生根據(jù)寫作任務(wù)的要求寫作任務(wù)的要求進(jìn)行英語書面表達(dá)的能力。進(jìn)行英語書面表達(dá)的能力。考生應(yīng)能：考生應(yīng)能：根據(jù)根據(jù)_，使用，使用恰當(dāng)?shù)恼Z言形式恰當(dāng)?shù)恼Z言形式完成完成書面交際任務(wù)書面交際任務(wù)；2. 2. 運(yùn)用運(yùn)用恰當(dāng)?shù)木涫?，詞匯和語法恰當(dāng)?shù)木涫?，詞匯和語法敘述敘述，_；3. 3. 做到文章做到文章_，_充實(shí)，充實(shí)，_完整，完整，_性強(qiáng)，性強(qiáng)，_連貫。連貫。What is tested in open writing -requiremen

2、ts （開放作文高考要求）Describe the picture and explain your understanding about it 不同文體不同文體描述，表達(dá)觀點(diǎn)和態(tài)度描述，表達(dá)觀點(diǎn)和態(tài)度扣題扣題內(nèi)容內(nèi)容結(jié)構(gòu)結(jié)構(gòu)邏輯邏輯語意語意評(píng)分檔次的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)第一檔第一檔13-1513-15分分完全完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。完全完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。 內(nèi)容內(nèi)容_，體現(xiàn)了，體現(xiàn)了_的思維和的思維和_的邏輯；的邏輯； 交際交際_，表達(dá)時(shí)充分考慮到了交際對(duì)象的需求，表達(dá)時(shí)充分考慮到了交際對(duì)象的需求 語法或用詞方面有語法或用詞方面有_錯(cuò)誤，但為盡可能錯(cuò)誤，但為盡可能_的內(nèi)容所致；的內(nèi)容所致； 體現(xiàn)出較強(qiáng)的語

3、言運(yùn)用能力。體現(xiàn)出較強(qiáng)的語言運(yùn)用能力。完全達(dá)到了預(yù)期的寫作目的。完全達(dá)到了預(yù)期的寫作目的。第二檔第二檔基本完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。基本完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。 內(nèi)容、邏輯和交際等方面內(nèi)容、邏輯和交際等方面_符合要求；符合要求； 所用語法和詞匯所用語法和詞匯_了任務(wù)的要求；了任務(wù)的要求； 語法或用詞方面有語法或用詞方面有_錯(cuò)誤，但錯(cuò)誤，但_基本達(dá)到了預(yù)期的寫作目的?；具_(dá)到了預(yù)期的寫作目的。9 9分分1212分分充實(shí)充實(shí)活躍活躍清晰清晰得體得體個(gè)別個(gè)別表達(dá)豐富表達(dá)豐富基本基本滿足滿足一些一些不影響理解不影響理解第三檔第三檔未恰當(dāng)完成試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。未恰當(dāng)完成試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。表達(dá)未能切題；表達(dá)未能切題

4、；所用詞匯有限，語法或用詞方面的錯(cuò)誤影響所用詞匯有限，語法或用詞方面的錯(cuò)誤影響了對(duì)寫作內(nèi)容的理解。了對(duì)寫作內(nèi)容的理解。未能清楚地傳達(dá)信息。未能清楚地傳達(dá)信息。4 4分分8 8分分第四檔第四檔未完成試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。未完成試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。. .寫了少量相關(guān)信息；寫了少量相關(guān)信息；. .語法或用詞方面錯(cuò)誤較多，嚴(yán)重影響了對(duì)寫語法或用詞方面錯(cuò)誤較多，嚴(yán)重影響了對(duì)寫作內(nèi)容的理解。作內(nèi)容的理解。. .未傳達(dá)任何信息；寫的內(nèi)容與要求無關(guān)。未傳達(dá)任何信息；寫的內(nèi)容與要求無關(guān)。1 1分分3 3分分0 0分分評(píng)分檔次的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)第二檔第二檔基本完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)?；就瓿闪嗽囶}規(guī)定的任務(wù)。內(nèi)容、邏輯和交際內(nèi)容、邏輯和

5、交際等方面基本符合要求；等方面基本符合要求；所用語法和詞匯所用語法和詞匯滿足滿足了任務(wù)的要求；了任務(wù)的要求；語法或用詞方面有語法或用詞方面有一些一些錯(cuò)誤，但錯(cuò)誤，但不影響理解不影響理解基本達(dá)到了預(yù)期的寫作目的。基本達(dá)到了預(yù)期的寫作目的。9 9分分1212分分第三檔第三檔未恰當(dāng)完成試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。未恰當(dāng)完成試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。表達(dá)表達(dá)未能切題未能切題；所用所用詞匯有限詞匯有限，語法或用詞方面的錯(cuò)誤，語法或用詞方面的錯(cuò)誤影響影響了對(duì)寫作內(nèi)容的理解。了對(duì)寫作內(nèi)容的理解。未能清楚地傳達(dá)信息。未能清楚地傳達(dá)信息。4 4分分8 8分分評(píng)分檔次的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)得高分的九點(diǎn)要求How to be an impress wr

6、iter of open writing項(xiàng)目項(xiàng)目要求要求requirements內(nèi)內(nèi)容容充充實(shí)實(shí)描寫圖片描寫圖片闡釋理解闡釋理解邏輯清晰邏輯清晰語言豐富語言豐富describe the picture honestly and relevantlyexpress your understanding briefly and clearlyexplain your understanding by analysing the pictureexplain your understanding with examplesget the message resonably and creativel

7、ydescribe the picuture; analyze the picture; explain the picture, echo the pictureexpress your ideas fluentlyuse rich vocabularyinvolve various sentence structures如實(shí)如實(shí)相關(guān)相關(guān)主題主題鮮明鮮明結(jié)合結(jié)合圖片圖片結(jié)合結(jié)合事例事例文章文章扣題扣題結(jié)構(gòu)結(jié)構(gòu)完整完整語意語意連貫連貫詞匯詞匯豐富豐富句式句式多樣多樣如實(shí)如實(shí)_主題主題_結(jié)合結(jié)合_結(jié)合結(jié)合_文章文章_結(jié)構(gòu)結(jié)構(gòu)_語意語意_詞匯詞匯_句式句式_ 2010開放樣文及給分說明1.優(yōu)勢(shì)：學(xué)

8、生會(huì)寫一些套話，使用比較恰當(dāng)；語言基本能滿足描圖的需要；有一定的開放思維能力；2.劣勢(shì)：學(xué)生們用語言表達(dá)出圖與立意之間的邏輯關(guān)系和推理過程的能力較弱。內(nèi)容：描述部分與立意（對(duì)圖畫的理解）是否密切內(nèi)容：描述部分與立意（對(duì)圖畫的理解）是否密切相相 關(guān)且存在嚴(yán)密的邏輯關(guān)系？立意是否積極？關(guān)且存在嚴(yán)密的邏輯關(guān)系？立意是否積極？語言：語言： 能否達(dá)意？能否達(dá)意？三、四檔文中的問題：只描圖，無立意；描圖不細(xì)三、四檔文中的問題：只描圖，無立意；描圖不細(xì)致或與立意無關(guān)；沒有描圖，只有立意；語言表達(dá)致或與立意無關(guān)；沒有描圖，只有立意；語言表達(dá)有限，錯(cuò)誤太多嚴(yán)重影響理解，難以達(dá)意。有限，錯(cuò)誤太多嚴(yán)重影響理解，難以

9、達(dá)意。評(píng)分原則第評(píng)分原則第3條（條（P105） 文章是否扣題： 主題在圖畫里。描圖是否扣題，論述是否以描圖為基礎(chǔ)？觀點(diǎn)：1.不放棄，求生存 2.改變自身，適應(yīng)環(huán)境 3.改變城市綠化 4.家長(zhǎng)應(yīng)給孩子更多空間學(xué)生要在描圖的過程中為自己以后的論述打下基礎(chǔ)，埋下伏筆。寫樓房蓋錯(cuò)地方的學(xué)生為數(shù)不少 樓房是人為的，樹是自然的，很多孩子在批判人為的東西。評(píng)分原則第評(píng)分原則第3條（條（P105） 邏輯是否清晰 單看論述還可以，但不是基于描述順理成章而來。好的邏輯應(yīng)該是:描述是為論述打基礎(chǔ)，論述時(shí)考慮描圖，連貫、有機(jī)、有邏輯性。 學(xué)生使勁往自己事先背好的范文上靠，缺乏前后呼應(yīng)和整體連貫性。評(píng)分原則第評(píng)分原則第

10、3條（條（P105） 內(nèi)容是否充實(shí)（本次閱卷）并不要求把圖中所有元素都包括，比如：想表達(dá)克服困難，可以把重點(diǎn)放在樹生長(zhǎng)環(huán)境不好上面。 充實(shí)并不代表要面面俱到。評(píng)分原則第評(píng)分原則第3條（條（P105） 語言交際是否得體 語言能理解即達(dá)到目的。句式、詞匯多樣更好，分?jǐn)?shù)可以稍高。如果單看某一句還可以，但連起來后無邏輯，不能傳達(dá)有意義的相關(guān)信息則分?jǐn)?shù)較低。 （切忌套話、空話、無任何實(shí)際內(nèi)容）（1分）分）I can see from the picture. A big tree, two house and the sun.寫了極少量的相關(guān)信息寫了極少量的相關(guān)信息（2分）分）In the pictur

11、e, we can see two build in it. There is a high tree grow up between in the two build. The sky have a big sun. In my opinion, at the hard government also have grow up, we must hard work study, we can grow up like tree. We should learn thehigh tree, dont afraid the bad government.語言表達(dá)幾乎難以成句，但能看到一些相關(guān)信息

12、。語言表達(dá)幾乎難以成句，但能看到一些相關(guān)信息。 （2分）分）In the picture I can see two building, lift one is higher than right one, in the middle have a tree. The tree is highest, the sun on the right. It make me remember my childhood. I am bed kids. I like play games, so I always want go to outside. When I go to school, I fee

13、l so boring. So I didnt go to school when I want to play games, but I have a perfect and out stand teacher, she always wait me on our school door state, she tell me she so worried me, so I loved her, she give a warm heart, when I get wrong, she will tell me the trues. When have a terrible, she will

14、help me for all. I think I liked the pictures tree, you will have terrible or little sickness, yet you could go on, growing a particular trees, the sun like our teachers or our parents. Believe in yourself.篇幅雖然很長(zhǎng)，但有效信息很少。篇幅雖然很長(zhǎng)，但有效信息很少。（3分）分）As we can see in the picture, It was a sun in the picture,

15、 and a tree stay between two building. I think the picture leave a message for us, impossible is nothing. If we want to do something, we can do it successful. When we get into trouble, we need face the trouble, not to give up.描述與闡述之間看不出邏輯關(guān)系；語言能傳達(dá)一些描述與闡述之間看不出邏輯關(guān)系；語言能傳達(dá)一些基本意思，但幾乎形不成連貫的語篇?；疽馑迹珟缀跣尾怀蛇B貫

16、的語篇。（4分）分）Look at the picture, we can see the sun, a tree and two bulidings. And the buildings is different of we can see in our live. The tree is betwween the two trees. It can not grow up stick. But it grow up yet. And it can meet the sun. I thinik the picture want to tell me that we cant afraid t

17、he difficulty. If we can do it and we can solve it. We should believe in myself.在描述與闡述之間能看出一點(diǎn)邏輯思路，但語言質(zhì)量較在描述與闡述之間能看出一點(diǎn)邏輯思路，但語言質(zhì)量較差，極大地影響了意思的表達(dá)，未恰當(dāng)完成任務(wù)。差，極大地影響了意思的表達(dá)，未恰當(dāng)完成任務(wù)。（6分）分）From the picture we can see there is a tree growing among the two buildings. But the tree is very tall. It is trying to te

18、ll us that when we face the difficulty we should be brave. We must try to find solution about the difficulty. In my opinion, only in this way, can we reach our goal and have a more beautiful life.圖畫與描述之間邏輯關(guān)系不夠清楚，描述和闡述都過于圖畫與描述之間邏輯關(guān)系不夠清楚，描述和闡述都過于簡(jiǎn)單，未恰當(dāng)完成任務(wù)。簡(jiǎn)單，未恰當(dāng)完成任務(wù)。（7分）分）As is shown in the picture,

19、there are two buildings, and there is a tree between them. The tree is tall but bent. And there is a big sun in the sky. I think the picture tries to tell us that when we do something , we should find a great way. We should know what is suit us. If not, we will live difficultly, just like the tree i

20、n the picture, if choose the wrong place to live, so it bent, and it is difficult to live long. So I thing before we do something, we should think whether this way is suit us carefully, if we decited, we cant regret. If we do everything carefully, our life will be more beautiful.對(duì)圖畫的描述與闡述之間缺乏緊密和有機(jī)的邏

21、輯聯(lián)系，論述部對(duì)圖畫的描述與闡述之間缺乏緊密和有機(jī)的邏輯聯(lián)系，論述部分的邏輯有些混亂，語言錯(cuò)誤較多，未恰當(dāng)完成任務(wù)。分的邏輯有些混亂，語言錯(cuò)誤較多，未恰當(dāng)完成任務(wù)。（7分）分）As can be seen in the picture, there is a tall but bend tree grewing between the two bend buildings. And there is a sun shining them strongly. There is something we should give thought to. What the picture wants

22、to convey to us is that many parents give too much care and protection to their children. They dont want their children to face press or challenge. But they dont realize that if children live in the “comfortable” environment, they wont grow healthily and smoothly, just like the tree in the picture.

23、As far as I am concerned, parents should give more free space to children to grow and let them face more challenge. Only in this way, can children make greater progress and grow healthily.雖然篇幅很長(zhǎng)，但上下文邏輯比較混亂，圖畫的描述和闡述之間雖然篇幅很長(zhǎng)，但上下文邏輯比較混亂，圖畫的描述和闡述之間看不出清楚的邏輯關(guān)系，語言錯(cuò)誤較多?？床怀銮宄倪壿嬯P(guān)系，語言錯(cuò)誤較多。（9分）分）From this pict

24、ure , we can see that a tree is growing between two high buildings. What surprised me was that the tree is tall but not straight. It seems as if it cant grow up well. What the picture wants to convey is that we should pay more attention to our environment. Nowadays, we can see more and more tall bui

25、ldings around us, but it is difficult for us to see the green grass and tall trees. It is likely that buildings will eventually take the place of the trees. For the sake of our health, wed better leave some space for the trees, which is good for our lives. Only in this way, can we have a nice life.上

26、下文邏輯基本清楚，語言比較通順，但闡述部分思維比較簡(jiǎn)單，上下文邏輯基本清楚，語言比較通順，但闡述部分思維比較簡(jiǎn)單，流于表面?；就瓿扇蝿?wù)。流于表面?；就瓿扇蝿?wù)。(10分分) From this picture, we can see a tall tree in the middle of the two buildings. The two buildings are not in good shapes, while the tree is still growing. Although the trees body is bend, but it also looks very hea

27、lth and active towards the shinning sun. The buildings are just like the limits in our life. Sometimes, it is hard to overcome, but if we hold the optimistic attitude like the tree, we can also overcome it. We should learn from the tree, when it meet the difficulties, it doesnt choose to give up. Th

28、e tree finds a way to past the difficulties, and still hold an optimistic attitude. It must be the reason that it can grow so tall. In my opinion, when we meet difficulties, the most important thing we should do is to be optimistic. Only in this way can we succeed like the tall tree.對(duì)圖畫的描述與闡述之間有對(duì)圖畫的

29、描述與闡述之間有有機(jī)聯(lián)系有機(jī)聯(lián)系，邏輯思路比較清晰，但闡述部分層次比，邏輯思路比較清晰，但闡述部分層次比較簡(jiǎn)單，有一些明顯的語言錯(cuò)誤。較簡(jiǎn)單，有一些明顯的語言錯(cuò)誤。（11分）分）As can be seen from the picture, there is a tree growing between two tall buildings. Because of the two buildings the tree cant grow straight but bend. The sun in the sky is very bright! The picture reflects a c

30、ommon social problem vividly: many times, we cant reach our goals in a straight way. There are many difficulties on our way to succeed. So we should adapt to the envoronment. In my opinion we want to achieve our goal just like the tree want to see the sunshine, but before we reach the top, we should

31、 face many difficulties. If we cant change the environment, we should change ourselves to adapt to the envoronment. Only in this way ,can we be succeed. Change ourselves, overcome the difficult, then well reach the top!對(duì)圖畫的描述和闡述之間聯(lián)系比較自然，論述比較清楚；但存在對(duì)圖畫的描述和闡述之間聯(lián)系比較自然，論述比較清楚；但存在一些明顯的語言錯(cuò)誤。一些明顯的語言錯(cuò)誤。 （11分

32、）分） In the picture, a big tree is planted between two buildings. Though the narrow space makes the tree bend, it is still very strong. I think the tree is a perfect metaphor. Sometimes, we cant choose the surroundings in our life, and it seems really hard for us to achieve our goals, but it is no do

33、ubt we can choose the way, like the tree in the picture. Good conditions wont come to us until we go to them! So, what we should do is adapt the bad conditions but not to be dad in order to achieve our goals. We can see the “sun”, the bright future some one day.(無解析無解析)（12分）分） As the picture shows,

34、a tree is growing tall under the sunlight between two buildings. Though the buildings shape manage to prevent the tree from growing tall, but the tree just follows two narrow space between the buildings, growing tall and strong. The tree in the picture taught us a philosophy in our daily life. When

35、we come across some difficulties which seems to prevent us from being success ( like the buildings in the picture) , we cant just stop our steps. Instead og giving up, we should learn to overcome the difficulties and find the possible way that can lead us to success, just like the tree in the pictur

36、e. Once we can be flexible enough, nothing can prevent us from reaching our goals.對(duì)圖畫的描述為下文的闡述和討論打下較好的基礎(chǔ)，闡述部分能和對(duì)圖畫的描述為下文的闡述和討論打下較好的基礎(chǔ)，闡述部分能和圖畫有機(jī)呼應(yīng)，圖畫有機(jī)呼應(yīng)，論述有一定的層次論述有一定的層次，思路清楚，語言有一定的句式，思路清楚，語言有一定的句式變換，但語言表述上還存在問題。變換，但語言表述上還存在問題。 （13分）分）As is shown in the picture, there is a tree with a winding trunk

37、 standing in the surrounding of two buildings. As the two buildings block the way of free growing for the tree, it can only twist its body and try its best to meet the sun. Then it succeed! The unfortunate tree gets rid of the block of the two building and is growing in the sun happily and healthily

38、. The picture conveys the message that success comes from trying ones best. The growth of the tree is full of setbacks as there are two buildings blocking its way of growing. When it comes to our life,l there are also a lot of stones lying in the path of our success. The only thing we can do it to try our best to remove the stones. Without effort, nothing can be achieved. Without effort, no success can we gain. Remember that success comes from sweat.