牛津上海版優(yōu)質(zhì)中考沖刺基礎講義3（作文詞句改寫）學生版

1、.學員編號： 年 級：初三 課 時 數(shù)： 3學員姓名： 輔導科目：英語 學科老師： 張維維授課類型C作文評分標準實例C 好詞好句改寫T 作文提分句型 授課日期及時段教學內(nèi)容一、專題知識梳理 知識點1：評分標準：寫話評分標準：作文共20分，其中內(nèi)容為8分，語言為8分，組織構(gòu)造分為4分。一 內(nèi)容：8分 內(nèi)容切題，意思連接，表達清楚、完好。6-7分 內(nèi)容根本切題，意思大致連接，表達根本清楚，但不夠完好。4-5分 內(nèi)容不夠切題，意思不夠連接，表達不夠清楚，離題目要求較遠。3分 內(nèi)容根本不切題，表達不清, 但屬于考場作文。1-2分 文不對題，表達不清，字數(shù)嚴重缺少。和此題目無關(guān)，但不抄本試卷上的閱讀文章

2、。 二 語言： 拼寫：每錯扣0.5分，同一錯誤不重復計數(shù)。 語法：同 標點符號、大小寫：每兩處錯誤扣0.5分，但標點符號和大小寫的扣分總和均不得超過一分。 語言分最多扣8分。三 詞數(shù)： 詞數(shù)缺乏30詞者，得分最多不得超過8分； 詞數(shù)缺乏40詞者，得分最多不得超過12分； 詞數(shù)缺乏50詞者，得分最多不得超過15分； 詞數(shù)在50-59詞之間者，每少5個詞扣0.5分； 只寫出個別單詞、詞不成句不給分。四 組織構(gòu)造： 內(nèi)容充實，不寫廢話；上下文連接、用語標準、表達正確、無或少見語法錯誤；詞匯和句型句式運用恰當，多見好句型和習慣表達用語者，可給4分。 一般情況下，內(nèi)容和語言積累得分在14-15分以上者含

3、，方可得到2-3分組織構(gòu)造分。 內(nèi)容和語言在15分以下者，如文中有值得肯定的好的句型和表達，可酌情考慮給1分組織構(gòu)造分。 通篇句型、句式單一。詞匯貧乏者，即使無語法錯誤，一般不給組織構(gòu)造分。知識點2：寫作步驟： 1、列提綱：列提綱包括1審題，確定文章的體裁和篇章構(gòu)造，先后順序以及側(cè)重點總-分；總-分-總；2選材，選擇最能說明主題且自己有話可說的材料，忌眼高手低選擇深奧、偏僻、復雜的材料；3選寫作方法，如舉例，因果，并列，遞進，正反比照，對照，時序等。 2、根據(jù)提綱寫作，注意選詞和句型，過渡句，銜接詞。 3、檢查：查詞匯；查句型；查要點；查文采；查拼寫訓練方法：1、遣詞：在正確的根底上選擇詳細的

4、、高級的詞匯。2、造句：使用正確的、純熟的句型。恰當使用復雜句。能恰當表意的習語、諺語。使用連接詞增加文章的邏輯性和條理性。3、布局謀篇：主題句簡潔明了，中間句豐富多彩，完畢句首位照應，提升主題。二、專題精講馬莞懿： Water is precious As we all know, water is one of the most important thing in our lives生命可數(shù)，生活，不可數(shù). We can live without water because we use it to do the washing ,drinking and so on. But it i

5、snt enough for everyone to use. Although there is a lot of water on the Earth but 97% of the water is salty. 數(shù)據(jù)例證好！So we must save it .First of all ,we can use water twice or more. For example, we can use the water to clean the rice and then use it to water the plants. The water after cleaning the r

6、ice has a lot of nutrition for plants. Secondly, we should turn of the tap when we dont use. Last but not least, we shouldnt pour the sewage into the lake. It may make the lake dirtier.Chinglish表達盡量防止！ Water is important for every species on the earth. We mustnt waste or pollute the water.結(jié)尾再升華！ 151

7、點評：內(nèi)容：構(gòu)造合理，三個要點包含清楚。個別句子內(nèi)容簡單，需要多添加一些背景補充。-0.5語言：個別拼寫，語法小錯冠詞the 濫用，earth大寫。-2.5文采：+2總分：15 修改總分值版：Water is PreciousAs we all know, water is one of the most important resources in our life because we not only drink and wash with it, but use it in agricultural and industrial production as well. However,

8、 despite large amounts of water on the earth, only less than 3% can be used by humans, which is not enough for everyone at all. So we must save it .First of all, use water twice or more. For example, we can use water after cleaning the rice to water the plants. It includes a lot of nutrition for the

9、m. Secondly, we should turn off the tap when we dont use it. Last but not least, we shouldnt pour the sewage into the lake, for it may dirty the lake. In all, lets take actions to protect precious water! 亮點分析： 一句話點明水的重要性。用狀語從句because,并列連詞not only, butas well能把零散信息整合在一起。 一句話點明缺水的原因。數(shù)據(jù)例證有說服力，which非限定性

10、定從善用給作文加分。 三個措施三個連接詞，層次清楚，詳略得當，dirty動詞把。弄臟，比makedirty這種chinglish表達好。三、專題過關(guān) 趙凱雨原文： At the moment, I smiledWhen it comes to the moment I smile most happily, I will certainly choose the visit to the home for the aged The visit to the aged peoples home skips into my mind.because I have learned a lot dur

11、ing the experience.Last week, my classmates and I planned to pay a visit to the old. We wanted to give some performances to them. My job was to sing an old song. As a result, 是過程，不是結(jié)果I practiced very hard every night. Though I faced some difficulty, I managed to come across them at last. The perform

12、ance turned out to be a great success. how and why?細節(jié)描寫缺乏。At the moment, I smiled proudly because I could do something to make others happy. In addition, I realized that I should always do something for the people in need.To sum up, only if all the people feel happy, can I smile more often in the fu

13、ture.？點評：語言：語言流暢，個別小錯。-0.5內(nèi)容：構(gòu)造合理，內(nèi)容詳實，但缺乏關(guān)鍵處細節(jié)描寫，個別句子不通順，結(jié)尾邏輯不通？ -2文采：文采飛揚 +3總分：16.5 總分值修改版：When it comes to the moment I smile most happily, the visit to the old peoples home skips into my mind for I have learned a lot during the experience.Last week, our classmates planned to give a performance t

14、o the old people. My job was to sing an old song. Before that, I practiced very hard. When I sang the song in front of the old people, they listened excitedly and clapped for me warmly. 細節(jié)描寫At the moment, I smiled proudly because I could do something to make others happy. In addition, I realized tha

15、t I should always do something for the people in need.How I hope to have more those smiling moments. 120四、學法提煉中考作文打分的三個檔次和評分標準：A檔次的作文一般運用了較多的連接詞、短語、并列、倒裝、時間狀語從句、被動語態(tài)，審題合理、時態(tài)使用正確；字數(shù)符合要求；沒有大小寫、拼寫錯誤。得分在18-20分B檔次的作文一般審題可以，有一定的過程描繪，語言較流暢，表達根本完全；復合句；時態(tài)根本正確。得分在16-18 分C檔次的作文一般可以使用不同的句子，大小寫、標點使用正確，會使用些連接詞。但語

16、言上可能還需要更加豐富飽滿。得分在13-15一些存在典型錯誤的學生文章寫作扣分往往存在部分偏題或完全偏題的情況所以正確審題很重要，內(nèi)容與主題的相關(guān)度是閱卷老師衡量的主要標準。對于半開放作文要補全適宜的主題切入點要小，不能太大；對于記敘文：時間順序要注意；要詳略得當，有重點。建議同學們平時寫作文的時候可以參照以下圖的標準事項給自己打分。評價標準是1分尚可0.5分否0分總分字數(shù)達標按時間順序表達詳略得當語言無中式英語時態(tài)正確句子成分完好構(gòu)造開頭包含四要素結(jié)尾總結(jié)全文合計1、 專題知識梳理 技巧1：形容詞高級化技巧2：動詞短語化技巧3：名詞詳細化技巧4：兩句2合1技巧5：主動變被動技巧6：善用副詞技

17、巧7：名言警句 2、 專題精講技巧1：形容詞高級化勤奮的 hard-workingdiligent聰明的cleverintelligent重要的importantessential美麗的beautifulattractive開心的happydelightful 有害的badbe harmful to有意義的meaningful獨立的independent有責任的responsible方便的convenient有必要的necessary技巧2：動詞短語化認為thinkhold the viewpoint that阻止 stopprevent from doing sth解決solvedeal w

18、ith給giveprovide with進步improvemake progress期待expectlook forward to doing sth.盡力trytry ones best to do可以canbe able to do sth滿意satisfybe satisfied with使用usemake full use of扮演actplay an important part in注意focuspay attention to doing sth技巧3：名詞詳細化 好處advantage 知識knowledge幸福happiness影響influence自信心self-confi

19、dence建議suggestion技巧4：兩句2合1時間狀語從句：when, notuntil, as soon as目的狀語從句：so that+clause; to do為了結(jié)果狀語從句：sothat+clause, tooto do太以致于條件狀語從句：if, unless除非, as long as只要讓步狀語從句：though盡管，不與but連用, although盡管，不與but連用, even though即使, even if即使 no matter what/when/where/who/which/how 無論比較：asas, not soas, than技巧5：主動變被動

20、Some shop owners use Christmas songs during the festive season to make us more careless with our money. =Christmas songs are used to make us more careless with our money during the festive season.技巧6：善用副詞 事實上Actually 然而However 很可能probably 幾乎almost 尤其especially 立即immediately技巧7：名言警句-專題安康：One apple a

21、day, keeps the doctor away. 一天一蘋果，醫(yī)生遠離我。友誼：A fiend in need is a friend in deed. 患難見真情。學習：Never too old to learn. 活到老，學到老。毅力：Practice makes perfect. 熟能生巧。方法：All roads lead to Rome. 條條道路通羅馬。As an old saying goes, “One apple a day, keeps the doctor away. 三、專題過關(guān)變?yōu)楹唵尉?、I hope that I can see you soon 2、He

22、 showed me how he used the computer3、I dont know what he said. 4、Could you tell me how I can get to the park?5、I found that it was easy to finish the work.6、It seemed that they won the match.同義句型改寫1、Can you help me?2、The food is very delicious.3、Its time for school.4、How do you like Shenzhen?5、Bob b

23、egan to go to school when he was six.變并列句為復合句Hurry up, or you will miss the early bus. 四、學法提煉此部分要求孩子在掌握考綱詞匯的根底上可以對于詞匯進展拓展以增加詞匯量一、 才能培養(yǎng)2019年中考英語寫作進步分數(shù)的 “拿分魔鬼句型 每天看2-3個句型，熟記熟默，并造句至少2句例句和在自己寫過的或要寫的作文中應用1. the + 形容詞最高級 + 名詞 +that+ I have ever + seen known/heard/had/read, etcHelen is the most beautiful g

24、irl that I have ever seen.海倫是我所看過最美麗的女孩。Mr. Chang is the kindest teacher that I have ever had.張老師是我曾經(jīng)遇到最仁慈的老師。Yao Ming is the tallest basketball player that I have ever seen.姚明是我所見過的最高的籃球運發(fā)動Liu Xiang is the most hardworking sportsman that I have ever seen.劉翔是我所見過的最勤奮的運發(fā)動。2. Nothing is + 形容詞比較級 than

25、to do sth Nothing is more important than to receive education.沒有比承受教育更重要的事。Nothing is more important than to protect our environment.沒有什么比環(huán)保更重要的事。Nothing is more important than to gain knowledge.沒有什么比學習知識更重要的事。3. There is no denying that +句子.不可否認的是 deny v. 否認There is no denying that Lin Zhiling is t

26、he most charming actress I have ever seen.不可否認是，林志玲是我所見過的最有魅力的女演員。There is no denying that the qualities of our living have gone from bad to worse.不可否認是，我們的生活品質(zhì)已經(jīng)每況愈下。4. There is no doubt that + 句子毫無疑問的 doubt n./v. 疑問There is no doubt that our educational system is not perfect.毫無疑問的我們的教育制度不是完美的。5. A

27、n advantage of sth/doing sth is that + 句子的一個優(yōu)點是An advantage of keeping pets is that you will never feel lonely. 養(yǎng)寵物的一個優(yōu)點是你不會感到寂寞。An advantage of using the solar energy is that it won't create produce any pollution.使用太陽能的一個優(yōu)點是它不會制造任何污染。An advantage of taking exercises is that it can make us keep

28、healthy.鍛煉身體的優(yōu)點是它可以讓我們保持安康。6. The reason why + 句子 + is that + 句子的原因是The reason why we have to grow trees is that they can provide us with fresh air. 我們必須種樹的原因是它們能供給我們新穎的空氣。7. So + 形容詞 + be + 主語 + that + 句子如此以致于 仔細觀察：其實是sothat的倒裝構(gòu)造。So precious is time that we can't afford to waste it.時間是如此珍貴，它經(jīng)不起

29、我們浪費。= Time is so precious that we can't afford to waste it.So beautiful is Xi Shi that we all like her.西施是如此美麗，以致于我們都喜歡她。= Xi Shi is so beautiful that we all like her.8. 形容詞 + as + Subject主語+ be, 雖然 仔細觀察：其實和although 引導的讓步狀語從句差不多，但有所倒裝。Rich as our country is, the qualities of our living are by n

30、o means satisfactory.by no means = in no way = on no account 一點也不雖然我們的國家富有，我們的生活品質(zhì)絕對令人不滿意。=Although our country is rich, 9. The + adj/adv的比較級+n. + 主謂, the + adj/adv的比較級+n. + 主謂 愈愈The harder you work, the more progress you make.你愈努力，你愈進步。The more books we read, the more learned we become.我們書讀愈多，我們愈有學

31、問。10. By +Ving, can 借著，可以By taking exercise, we can always stay healthy. 借著做運動，我們可以始終保持安康。By reading, we can broaden our horizon.通過閱讀，我們可以擴大視野。11. sth/doing sth enables + Object賓語+ to do主動 / to be done被動 使可以Listening to music enables us to feel relaxed.賓語us與feel 之間是主動關(guān)系聽音樂使我們可以感覺輕松。Travelling enable

32、s our life to be enriched.賓語life與enrich之間是被動關(guān)系旅行能豐富人們的生活。Watching movies enables our horizon視野 to be broadened.被開闊看電影能開闊視野。同學們再看看下面這兩個例句是不是就一目了然了：The light enables Damin to see better.The light enables fish to be seen better.12. That is the reason why 那就是的原因 Summer is hot.That is the reason why I do

33、n't like it. 夏天很炎熱。那就是我不喜歡它的原因。 Winter is cold. That is the reason why I don't like it.13. By no means /In no way/ On no account +can we do sth 我們絕對不能 On no account can we ignore忽略 the value of knowledge. 我們絕對不能忽略知識的價值。 By no mean can we ignore the importance of education. 我們絕對不能忽略教育的重要性。14.

34、 cannot emphasize the importance of too much. 再怎么強調(diào).的重要性也不為過。 We cannot emphasize the importance of protecting our eyes too much. 我們再怎么強調(diào)保護眼睛的重要性也不為過。 We cannot emphasize the importance of education. 我們再怎么強調(diào)教育的重要性也不為過。15. Those who 的人 Those who break the law should be punished. 違法的人應該受處分。16. There i

35、s no one but 沒有人不 這個主語認為是第三人稱單數(shù) 例句：There is no one but wants to go to college. 沒有人不渴望上大學。 There is no one but longs to be a millionaire. long to do sth 渴望做某事 沒有人不渴望成為百萬富翁。17. It is obvious that + 句子 顯然的是It is obvious that knowledge plays an important role in our life. 可想而知，知識在我們的一生中扮演一個重要的角色。這種句型其實很

36、普遍，看下書本里的這句話： It is common knowledge that computers are super calculators. 18. be closely related to 與息息相關(guān) Taking exercise is closely related to health. 做運動與安康息息相關(guān)。19. get into the habit of + doing養(yǎng)成的習慣 We should get into the habit of previewing and reviewing. 我們應該養(yǎng)成預習和復習的習慣。20. Due to/ Thanks to +

37、sth/doing sth , 因為 Thanks to his encouragement, I finally realized my dream. 因為他的鼓勵，我終于實現(xiàn)我的夢想。Due to Mr Wangs help, I passed the examination.多虧汪老師的幫助，我通過了考試。21. What a/an + adj +n + 主謂!= How + adj +主謂! 多么! 試著在作文中寫一句感慨句！How和what的感慨句可以轉(zhuǎn)換，請注意下面句子： What an important thing it is to keep our promise! How

38、important a thing is to keep our promise! 遵守諾言是多么重要的事! What an important thing it is to be honest! How important a thing is to be honest! 老實是多么重要的事!22. have a great influence on 對有很大的影響 Smoking has a great influence on our health. 抽煙對我們的安康有很大的影響。23. do good to 對.有益，do harm to 對有害 Reading does good t

39、o our mind. 讀書對心靈有益。 Overwork does harm to health. 工作過度對安康有害。24. Spare no effort to + V 不遺余力的We should spare no effort to beautify our environment.我們應該不遺余力的美化我們的環(huán)境。25. Since + Subject主語 + 一般過去式，Subject主語 + 如今完成式。 Since he went to senior high school, he has worked very hard. 自從他上高中，他一直很用功。26. For the

40、 past + 時間，Subject主語 + 如今完成式.過去年來，一直 For the past two years, I have been busy preparing for the examination. 過去兩年來，我一直忙著準備考試。27. do one's utmost to do = try one's best to do盡全力去 We should do our utmost to achieve our goal in life. 我們應盡全力去達成我們的人生目的。 We should try our best to help others. 我們應盡

41、全力幫助別人。28. Among various kinds of ， =Of all the kinds of， 在各種之中, Among various kinds of sports/Of all the kinds of animals, I like jogging in particular. 在各種運動中我尤其喜歡慢跑。 29. Of all the +n. + 主謂，I know/have learned/have read/have raised/am interested in， 在我所的所有中，Of all the people I know， perhaps non d

42、eserves my respect more than Mrs Shen, my class teacher.在我認識的人當中也許沒有一個人比我班主任沈老師更值得我尊敬。Of all the books I have read, I like Greek myths best30. In my opinion， = In my view， = As far as I am concerned， 就我的看法;我認為 In my opinion, playing computer games not only takes much time but also is harmful to heal

43、th. 就我的看法玩電腦游戲既花費時間也有害安康。31. 據(jù)說 It is said that子句 一般認為 It is thought that子句 大家都知道 It is known that子句 據(jù)報導 It is reported that子句 一般意料 It is expected that子句 據(jù)估計 It is estimated that子句 一般相信 It is believed that子句 It's known that Hangzhou is a beautiful city.眾所周知杭州是座美麗的城市。32. 同學們背的名言警句開頭是這樣的：看好標點，千萬別出

44、錯A famous saying 諺語goes, “ 名言 .A proverb 諺語says, “ 名言 .A famous saying goes, “Failure is the mother of success.二、才能檢測句子改寫訓練1. She noticed the beautiful dress on the shelf.使用物作主語，晉級動詞2. In the past twenty years, he has collected many stamps.改用名詞短語3. The couple have three children, so they cant spend

45、all the familys money to start a shop.使用with復合構(gòu)造，使用it作形式主語的句型4. Its important for us to get happiness from reading.使用主語從句，并晉級動詞5. Munro was born in a farmer family in Ontario. Munro did a lot of physical work as a young girl.用分詞作狀語6. He dont have money, so he can't pay for the flat and has to li

46、ve on the street.使用with復合構(gòu)造 7. Tom is so clever that he can understand the main idea of the text easily. 進展詞匯晉級8. When we face an exam, EQ helps us to manage our feelings.使用狀語從句簡化9. More and more people want to have their own private cars.優(yōu)化more and more10. There are a lot of foggy days in many citi

47、es in China.使用see表示“見證的用法11. In the countries all over the world, many people are leaving the countryside to find jobs in the cities.表達優(yōu)化，引入非謂語動詞三、才能點評句子改寫需要學生在掌握根底的句子構(gòu)造和句型的情況下的拓展練習，以此來增加作文的文采，需要在平時不停地練習； 學法總結(jié)1. 知識收獲根底單詞的改寫和提分句型的掌握可以豐富作文句式，進步寫作程度；2. 方法總結(jié)對于課文和平時遇到的好詞好句可以摘抄到錯題本，并且多讀多練習；3. 技巧提煉此部分由老師引領(lǐng)

48、學生進展總結(jié)。參考方法總結(jié)，讓學生自己提煉做題技巧課后作業(yè) Homework : 根底版-1.奉賢區(qū)初三期中英語考試 Writing 作文: 共20分 94. Write at least 60 words according to the given situation.根據(jù)情景寫一篇不少于60個詞的短文，標點符號不占格。Situation: In Yulin, Guangxi, a dog meat-eating festival is held in summer every year. Tens of thousands of dogs are killed and cooked du

49、ring the festival. Do you support the Yulin tradition that has lasted for hundreds of years, or do you believe this custom should be stopped? What is your opinion? Why?注意：短文中不得出現(xiàn)任何人名、校名及其它相關(guān)信息，否那么不予評分My Opinion on a Dog Meat-eating Festival 原文 There is no denying that china has many traditional cust

50、oms, but are they all true or do good to peoples physical or spirit health? From my point of view, the Yulin tradition of dog meat-eating festival should be stopped. The reasons are as follows: First of all, dogs are humans friends. They can also help people do a lot of things. Such as accompanying

51、the old, guarding our houses. Even guarding dogs can help people crossing the road. Whats more, dogs are honorable animals, so we should treat dogs as our best friends, even families. We shouldnt be cruel to them. As dogs are so good to people, why dont we stop the foolish custom?!My Opinion on a Do

52、g Meat-eating Festival 修改版 There is no denying that china has many traditional customs, but are they all true or do they do good to peoples physical or spirit health? From my point of view, the Yulin tradition of dog meat-eating festival should be stopped. The reasons are as follows: First of all, d

53、ogs are humans friends. They can also help people do a lot of things, such as accompanying the old, guarding our houses. Even guarding dogs can help people cross the road. Whats more, dogs are honorable animals, so we should treat dogs as our best friends, even families. We shouldnt be cruel to them. As dogs are so useful to people, why dont we stop the foolish custom?2. 金山區(qū)2019-2019學年度第一學期期末質(zhì)量抽查試卷Writing作文：共20分Write