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三顧茅廬ThreeVisitstoTheCottage呵呵呵呵呵,呵呵,一部經(jīng)我們精心改變的英語短劇,超級(jí)搞笑、絕對(duì)震撼。故事純屬虛構(gòu),如有雷同,絕對(duì)盜版。特此分享,以求為以后需要在英語課上表演的你們提供幫助,絕對(duì)我超所值,絕對(duì)汗,神起……Threevisitstothecottage〔三顧茅廬〕isastoryfromoneoftheFourGreatclassicalChinesenovels——theThreeKindoms.Maybetherearesomemistakesinourdialogue.Butthisplayistheresultofpainstakingeffortsofourgroup.Sowepresentourscripttoyouandwishyouwilllikeit.

------TeamV

Aftertheirswearingbrotherhoodtoheavenandearthinapeachgarden,thethreepersons——Liubei,GuanyuandZhangfeihadtobejanitorsinCaocao'scorporationtomakealivingfortheycouldnotfindjobs.MeanwhilethelegendaryandmysteriouscharacterZhuGeliangwhohadbeenforcedtoattendCET-6testbyhiswifewasreviewingexaminationcontents.SCENE1Liubei’sHomeActors:Liu,Guan,ZhangBrother!Wethreehavebeenhungryfordaysandwhenwillthistragiclifeend?It'ssoterrible!

Yu,it'simpossiblethatIdon'tfeelpainful,isn'tit?ButastheproverbsaysitishardtositinRomeandstriveagainstthePope.NowwecomedowntoCaocao'scorporationasgatekeeper,anyhowwecanfillourstomachsbetweenwhiles.It'sveryhardtogetworknow.Nodiplomasandnojoboffers,whatareyoudreamingabout?Oh,Brother!ZhuGeliang'swifeborrowedus500yuantocopewithhishusband’sCET-6feeslastmonth,itseemsthatit'stimeforustobedebtcollectorsnow.

Alas!HowdidIforgetthis?Let‘sgo!Go~~gogo,Hurryupandfollowme,let’sgotothemountainformoney!Yeah,Brother!Orwe'llbeaspooraschurchmouse.

AndthenthethreebrothersclimbthemountaintofindZhuGeliang.SCENE2Zhugeliang’sHomeActors:Zhu,Zhu’sWifeGoodmorning!Iamthelegendman〔傳說哥〕,ZhuGeliangIamaman,notagod.AndIfeelsomoroserecently.BecausemywifeforcedmetopasstheCET-6.What’sCET-6?Doyouknow?You,you,you,know,no,youdon’tknow?(Asktheaudience)and,Ialsodon’tknow.Darling!Butsheobligedmetoreadsoheavybooksanddosomanytexts.It’sridiculous.Mymajorismilitaryadvice,notEnglish.Oh,mygod.WhyshouldIlearnEnglish?Mywifeiscoming.sheissolong-windedthatIcanneverbearherangry.Mydear,howaboutyourstudy?Thesebooksmakemewanttodoze.I’mdizzy.Darling!Now,competitionissoserious.Ifyoucan’tpasscet-6togetyourmaster’sdegree,itisdifficulttofindajob.But……yourfatherisn’t李剛,there’snobutjustgoodgoodstudy,daydayup.Ihavestayedhereforhalfofalifetime.Butnevervisitabiggerplacelike鐵嶺.Don’tworry,thesebooksaretooeasyforyourhusbandanddon’tneedtolearn.Areyousure?letmehaveatesttoyou.Listen,readandsee!Ok,comeon,baby!Listen!Sorry,Idon’tknow.Youdon’tknow?Oh,howunfortunateIam!I'mwrong,I'mreallywrong,I'mwrongfromthebeginning.Ishouldn'tmarryhere.IfIdidn’tmarryhere,I'llneverinthisheartrendingplacenow.Don’tcry,don’tcry,stop!I‘mgoingtostudyhardatonce.That'sthespirit!

Doyouknow?WeareinthereadforyourCet6.Ievenborrowedmoneyfromthegatekeeper.WhatcanIdowhentheydunfordebts.Areyoupointingtothatgatekeeper---Liubei?Oh!Yes!Comeonquickly!Boy!Whatisthematter?Madam?Listencarefully!Myhusbandistoobusydoinghishomeworktowelcomeanypeople,so

youwilltellthepeoplewhocallsonhimthatbosshaswenttostudyinEngland.

Yes!Madam!Whileitisgoingon,Liubei,Guanyu,ZhangfeihavecametothegateofZhuGeliang’shouse.SCENE3FirstVisitOutsideZhugeliang’sHomeActors:Liu,Guan,Zhang,keeperWhat’syourcode?Thisiszhu’shouse.Letmestrikethedoor!Open!Open!!!YourCode(口令)?What’sthecode?Oh,Isee.“芝麻開門,信春哥,不掛科,信鳳姐,得自信〞Smart,heknowsIlike鳳姐,hehe.(Openthedoor)Arethesemenaskingforthedebt?ThisisLiubei!WearecallingonZhuGeliangandhiswife.Zhusaidheisnotin.En????Oh!No!...Imean…ImeanmybossisstudyingEnglishinEnglandfortheexamof

CET-6,andhemaynotbecomebackthismonth.Well!Heownourmoney.Wewaitforhimhere.Didyourheadkickbythedonkey,orshovebythedoor?(你腦袋被驢踢了還是被門擠了)Nobodyknowsthatwhenhewillcomeback,thus,let’sgohome!Thethreemenwentawaywithdisappointed.Afteramonth,thedeeplyautumncame!Theycamehereatthesecondtime.Unfortunately,theydidn’tseeZhuGeliangagain.Twomonthpassed,thecoldwinteriscoming!Itisheavysnowandverycoldoutsides.ZhuGeliangknowsthereasonthatwhytheycomeherethreetimes,andordersthekeepertoletthemcomeinwhileshiswifeisoutside.SCENE4ThirdVisitOutsideZhugeliang’sHomeActors:Liu,Guan,Zhang,Zhu,keeperPleasetellmeintimewhenyouwouldseehimnexttime,letmebindhimupforyou.Itreallyshouldnottroubleyoutogotheretimeandtimeagain.Everythingiscloud(一切都是浮云).Thesedays,theborroweristhegod!Let’sgothereagainandshowourthewarmesthearttomovethem.Mybossisathometoday,butheisreadingbooksaboutCET-6.Pleasewaitforamoment!

XiaoZhu!Comeout!Brothers,helpmetotakecareofmyseventhuncleandhisthirdniece.Getout,orIwillburnyourhousedown!Sunflowerpress〔葵花點(diǎn)穴手〕Ipress,Ipress.Ipresscontinual.Ibreak.

Brother’swordsisright,butwewillbedeadofhungry.Whoisyellingoutsidemyhouse?It’syourgrandpaZhang.Repayourmoney,orIwillgiveyousomecolourtoseesee.Iamatrueman(純爺們),Let’sfight!$@!#^%%&^$$*&%#@@#@#@@……$@!#^%%&^$$*&%#@@#@#@……What’reyoudoing,littlebrother?StepBack.Mr.Liangzai.Ihavehuntedyouforalongtime.Comeon,reporters,TakePicturesforus!Wof!Darling!Hemaycomeheretoaskmetorepayhismoney.Wecan’tlethimin.Mydarling,pleasedon’tworry.IcanmakeLiubeigobackwithnothingbymyslivertongue.〔三寸不爛之舌〕Liangzai.Ihavehuntedyouforalongtime!Oh!YouareLiubei.WhatcanIdoforyou?Mybrother,youhaveborrowedme$500,whenyouwillrepayitforme?Ihavestarvedforseveraldays.Ioweyou$500?whocantestifyit?Butifyoucangivemeachance,Iwillgiveyoubacksomethingbetter.Iamanhonestman.WhyshouldIgiveyouachance?Iwillspeakittothejudge.Pleaselookatyourself,althoughhavingambition,youarejustaguarder.ButIcanhelpyouenlargeyourpowerfromthisbase,andthenattackCaocao.AtlastIbelievethatyoucanreignthewholecountry.Wawawa.I’msosurprised!Idon’tknowyouaresoideal.iwillbetheking.IfIgiveyouacountry,couldInotrepayyourmoney?En…….Ofcause.ButIneedyourhelp.areyouwillingtocreateanewcountrytogetherwithus.IwantButIcan’t.Ifyoudon’thelpme,thecitizenwillliveaharderlife,pleasedon’trefuse.En……sorry,Ican’t.BecausemyTigressforcesmetopasstheCET-6recently.Ifyoucanhelpmetoresolvetheproblem,Iwillhelpyou.En…..Yes!WecanoverdraftoursalaryfromCaocaotobuythekeyatfirst.

Brother,comehere.Everythingisfakenowsuchasthemilk〔喝三鹿奶粉,腰不酸,腿不痛,走路也有勁了,喝三鹿奶粉,那個(gè)不痛,月月輕松〕.Whycan’twefindsomebodyhelpusdothetestorbuyakey?

Goodidea!Justdoit!Let’sgoforCaocao.

ThenthethreesgoestoCaocaotooverdrafttheirsalaryfromCaocaotobuythekeyforZhugeliang……SCENE5Zhugeliang’sHomeActors:Liu,Guan,Zhang,Zhu,Wife,keeper

Becausethesalaryhasbeengiventozhugeliangtobuythekey,Liubei,Guanyu,Zhangfeihavebeenstarvingforonemoremonth.Afterr

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