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讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)講評(píng)HonestyWon’tLetYouDown

Asad,an_______andhardworkingboy,wasanewcomertotheschoolwithoutfriendsaround.Onedayhewasinsucha________thatheforgottotake______withhim.Asaresult,hehadeitherto_________foodorborrowmoneyfromFahad,anarrogantboywhowasoneoftherichestboysandthoughteveryoneelsewasa_________.

Naturally,Fahad_____________hisrequestandevenlaughedathim,whichmadehim__________(embarrass).Leftaloneonthebenchinfrontofthecanteen,hequite______________spottedawalletonthebench.Heimmediatelyrecognizedit_________toFahad,withalotofmoneyinside.UnderstandingthestoryturneddownhurrymoneygowithoutloserhonestembarrassedaccidentallybelongedUnderlinetheimportantdetailsinthetext.Asadwasa13-year-oldboywhowasveryhonest

andhardworking.Recently,hehadenteredanew

schoolsohehadno

friendsyet,OnMondaymorning,hewasnearlylate

for

school.Thenightbefore,hisfamilyattendedhiscousin’sweddingandreachedhomelate,whichwaswhyhecouldn’t

get

up

on

timeasusual.

Atschool,Asadcouldnotpayattentiontoanythingandwantedthebelltoringsothathecouldbuy

something

to

eat.Afterafewhours,whenthebellrang,Asadquicklyopenedhisschoolbagtofindhismoney,butjustthenherememberedthathehadleftforschoolinahurryinthemorningandforgotten

totakemoney,Helookedunderhisbooks,hopingtofindsomemoneybuttherewasnothing.

Notknowingwhattodo,hewalkedoutoftheclassroomandsatonabenchinfrontofthecanteen.Hesawafewofhisclassmatesthere,amongthemwasFahad.Hewasoneoftherichest

kidsinhisclassbuthewasaveryarrogantboywhothoughteveryoneelsewasaloser.ButasAsadwasnew,hedidn’tknowmuchaboutFahad.

WhenhewenttowardsFahadandaskedifhecouldborrowsomemoneyforhislunch,Fahadlaughed

alotandsaid,“Iknewyouwerealoser,maybeabeggar?"Fahadlaughedoutsoloudthatotherkidsalsoheardandmadefunofthesituation.Hedidn’tanswerFahad,andslowlywalkedbacktowardsanempty

bench.ReadingWhenhereachedthebench,henoticedsomethinglyingnearit.Itwasawallet.Hepickeditup

andrecognizeditasFahad's,asherememberedFahadshowingittohisfriendsandtellingthathisuncleboughtitforhimfromtheUK.Therewasquitealotofmoneyinsideforakid.

Para1:Atfirst,AsadwantedtoKeepitasecretandpunishedFahad.

______________________________________________________________________________

Para2:ThenFahadsaid,“Whyareyougivingitback?”______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ReadingReading

problem---solution---problem---solution---problem---solutionUnderstandingthestoryStorylineEmotionlineStorylinenew,nofriends,nomoneyborrow…fromFahadFrefusedtherequest,laughatSpottedF’swalletWhattodowiththewallet?lonely,helplesshopefulunhappy,embarrassedexcitedtorn?Echotheimportantdetailsinyourwriting.

Para1:Atfirst,Asadwantedtokeepitasecretandpunished

Fahad.

Para2:ThenFahadsaid,“Whyareyougivingitback?!”Whatinformationcanyougetfromthegivensentences?WhathappenedbeforeFahadaskedthequestion?1.DidAsadchangehismindatthelastminute?Whatmadehimchangehismind?2.Whatwashisnewidea?3.HowdidhegivebackthewalletandwhatwasFahad’sreaction?1.HowdidAsadexplainthewholething?Andhowdidhefeel?2.DidFahadbelievehisexplanation?Andwhatdidhedo?3.Asad’sreflections./Whatdidtheyeachlearnfromtheincident?Threeconnectionsandonecoda點(diǎn)1:位于續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段段首,流暢銜接前面的記敘文和第一段段首語(yǔ):點(diǎn)2:位于續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段段尾,流暢銜接第二段段首語(yǔ):點(diǎn)3:位于續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段段首,續(xù)寫(xiě)銜接第二段段首語(yǔ);點(diǎn)4:文章結(jié)尾升華,給予讀者正能量,揭示和強(qiáng)調(diào)劇情的寓意。Makeadraft:Threeconnectionsandonecoda(Payattentiontowordchoice)續(xù)寫(xiě)參考思路:

Paragraph1:Atfirst,AsadwantedtokeepitasecretandpunishedFahad.思路1:我內(nèi)心糾結(jié)

---做誠(chéng)實(shí)的人這一信念讓我做出歸還的決定---我追上去,歸還錢(qián)包---

Fahad不解地拿了回去;

思路2:我想看他出丑,作為對(duì)我嘲笑的報(bào)復(fù)---理智(做個(gè)誠(chéng)實(shí)人)讓我把錢(qián)包還給他。

Paragraph2:ThenFahadsaid,"Whyareyougivingitback?"思路1:我解釋了我內(nèi)心的想法----被觸動(dòng),他對(duì)我表示感謝,對(duì)所有人表示歉意---請(qǐng)我們吃午餐,成為好朋友

---誠(chéng)實(shí)讓我收獲了友誼和信任;思路2:Fahad懷疑我的動(dòng)機(jī)---我解釋原因---借我錢(qián),成了好朋友–反思:honesty伴我同行。

Soembarrassedwashethathestoodthereclumsily,feelingtheblood

rushtohisface.Helowered

hisbody,hesitatedforamoment,wonderinghowtohidehisinner

embarrassment.Heopenedhermouth,his

face

turning

red.Alltheairseemedtodisappearandhefelt

as

ifthewholeworldwerewatchinghim.Languageaccumulation--embarrassment

AninnervoiceaskedmetobuythepairofbootsIliked,butanothervoicecameintomymind,urgingmetobuysomedecorationsandfeastsforthefamily.

Feelingquitetornbetween....And....,

Icouldhardlymakethedecision.Languageaccumulation–糾結(jié)Honest---Beinghonest--Honesty

Asadcongratulatedhimselfonmakingtherightdecision,makingtheschoollifeaheadnolongerlonely.Thebelief“Beinghonestwon’tletyoudown”willstickwithhimthroughthetoughdaysahead.

Asadscratchedhishead,notknowinghowtorespondtoFahad’sapologies,butheknewhewas,hasbeenandwillbehonest.

MakeagoodendingA.Message點(diǎn)睛式:

Beinghonestnotonlyhelpedhimgainothers’trustbutalsomadenewfriendsinthisnewschool,anewchapterof

lifebeginningtounfoldbeforehim.

MakeagoodendingB.環(huán)境描寫(xiě)烘托式:

Bathedinthewarmnoonsunshine,Asadcouldn’thelpsmiling,gladthathissimplehonestywasrewardedwithsuchalargecircleofnicefriends!

Moreexamples:

Outsidethewindow,thebirdsperchedonthetopofthebranchessinging

happily,asifcelebratingmywisechoice.

MakeagoodendingC.展望將來(lái)式:

Withmorefriendsaround,Asadwasconvincedthatanewlifewaswaitingforhimtoexplore.

MakeagoodendingD.回首反思式:

Lookingback,Asadcongratulatedhimselfonmakingtherightdecision,whichhelpedhimturnoverachapteroflife.

MakeagoodendingE.自然過(guò)程式:Bybeinghonestandsayingthetruth,notonlydidAsadgetsomemoneytobuylunchwhenFahadlenthimsome,buthewasalsoabletomakenewfriends.Ontheotherhand,Fahad’slifechanged,allhisprideandselfishnesswentawayandhelearnedanimportantlesson,that“Honestywon’tletyoudown.”MakeagoodendingAtfirst,AsadwantedtokeepitasecretandpunishedFahad.Atleasthecouldaffordthelunchnow.However,anothervoicepoppedup,urginghimtogiveitbacktoFahad,whichmadehimfeeltorn.“Ishouldneverkeepthewalletatthecostofmyhonesty,andFahadwouldbeextremelyembarrassedwithoutanymoneyinthepresenceofsomanyclassmates!”Asadconvincedhimself.Oncehemadeuphismind,heacceleratedhispaceandcaughthimup.“Fahad,it’syourwalletandIfounditonthebench.”Takingoverthewallet,FahadstaredintoAsad’seyeswithapuzzledlookwritten

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