河北省張家口市張垣聯(lián)盟高一下學期英語6月測試卷讀后續(xù)寫分析及下水文講義

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫一段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

ItwasaneveninginJuly.Theskiesweredarkerthannormal.Rainfellinbigdrops,thundercrashedinandlightningflashedacrosstheskies.IshookwithcoldandfearasIwalkedthroughthestreamsofmuddywater.Carsmovedslowlybecauseofthetrafficjam,whilepassers-bywererushingby,completelywetintheheavyrain.

Alongtheway,Isawsomeschoolchildrengraspingtheirheavyschoolbagsandheadinghome.Asmorethundercrashedandboomed,Ialsospedup.Nearacrossing,someroadrepairworkwasleftunfinished.Obviouslytheworkershadleftinahurrybecauseofthestorm.Therewereafewwarningsignsbutitwashardtoseewhattheysaidandwhatwasontheroad.Itookapacetowardsthem—therewerepiecesofwoodandmetalaswellasaholewhichnowwashalf-coveredwithboards.Icarefullyavoidedthepossibledangerandmovedon.Secondslater,IstoppedasIheardsomesounds.Theysoundedlikecrying.Iturnedaround,heldmybreathandlistened,tryingtofigureoutwherethesoundswerecomingfrom,butallIcouldhearwasthewindandtherain.

“Maybeitisjustthewind,”Ithoughttomyselfandwasabouttoleave.“Help!”aloudanddesperatescreamcamebehind.Quickly,Iturnedbackandtracedthesoundtowhereithadcomefrom.Myeyesfellontheplace.Itwashorrible

—

oneyoungchildhadfallenintothegapingholeintheroad.Myheartgrewheavier.Theboardshadbeenmovedawaybytheforceoftherushingwaterandwind.Icouldbarelyseethechildasitwasdarkallaroundme.Itriedtosavehim,butallmyeffortswereinvain.“Don’tpanic!”Ipretendedtobecalmandshoutedatthetopofmyvoice.

“I’llsoongetyououtofthere.”

注意：1.

續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為80詞左右；2.

續(xù)寫部分為一段，開頭語已為你寫好。Isuddenlythoughtofafriendwholivednearby.__________________________________________Theparentsofthechildarrivedatthehospitalquickly.

__________________________________________試題評析：

本次張垣聯(lián)盟高一英語6月測試卷讀后續(xù)寫選材來自于去年江西宜春市高二某次月考試題。文本為記敘文，描寫了主人公雨天營救掉坑里的男孩的感人故事。文章用大量的篇幅進行了環(huán)境描寫，襯托故事發(fā)生時環(huán)境的兇險與惡劣，突顯了營救的緊迫性和復雜性。雖然故事情節(jié)簡單，學生都能讀懂，但由于平時遇到類似情景的文本不多，積累不夠，考場上短時間內(nèi)要構(gòu)思出情節(jié)合理、人物刻畫生動、銜接緊密的續(xù)寫段落仍然有很高的難度。

重點詞匯及句子：

thunder

n.

雷聲crashin

襲來lightningflashedacrossthesky.

閃電劃過天空。stream

n.小河，小溪；v.

（液體）不斷地流出,

流動；muddywater

渾水grasp

v.

握緊；理解，領(lǐng)會；抓?。C會）boom

v.

繁榮；流行；n.隆隆聲；轟鳴speedup

加速warningsigns

警告標志takeapace

走holdone’sbreath

屏住呼吸adesperatescream

絕望的尖叫trace

v.

查出，追蹤；n.痕跡，蹤跡horrible

adj.

可怕的，令人恐懼的thegapinghole

開口的坑barely

adv.

幾乎不panic

v.

恐慌，驚慌?續(xù)寫分析：根據(jù)續(xù)寫首句Isuddenlythoughtofafriendwholivednearby.和文本內(nèi)容可知，續(xù)寫的第一段主要聚焦于：請朋友幫忙、施救過程、送往醫(yī)院和通知孩子父母。

部分學生在答題過程中，過多地描寫了尋找朋友求助的過程，而對施救過程描寫不足。另外，還有的考生沒有考慮到續(xù)寫第二段開頭的銜接，讓父母參與了救援的過程也是不合適的。

根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段首句Theparentsofthechildarrivedatthehospitalquickly.

可知，本段重點描述父母見到孩子時焦急的心情、知道事故真相后對作者和朋友的感激、作者救人后的心理活動以及還可以添加環(huán)境描寫作為事件的襯托等。另外，原文暗示出兩個必須在續(xù)寫的過程中解決的矛盾點：時間越來越晚，周圍漆黑；雨水湍急，孩子在深坑中危險。下水文：Isuddenlythoughtofafriendwholivednearby.

SoI

called

himimmediately.Havinglearnedsomeonewasindanger,

hepromisedtodrivetothescene.

Whilewaiting,Ikeptcomfortingthecryingchild.However,thewaterintheholegrewdeeperanddeeper.TheboyandIwereextremelyterrified.

Tomyrelief,my

friendarrived

with

somerescueequipment.

Heaskedmetoholdaflashlightwhileheslidintotheholetolifttheboy.Aftermanyattempts,theboywassuccessfullydraggedout.Withoutanydelay,werushedhimto

thehospital.Meanwhile,Iaskedtheboytocall

his

parents.（97

words）

Theparentsofthechildarrivedatthehospitalquickly.Theywerebothshockedandfullofanxiety.Whenwetoldthemthedangerousexperience,theyweredeeplytouchedandconstantlythankedusforsavingtheirchild.Themothersaidshecouldn’timaginewhatwouldhavehappenedtohissonwithoutourhelp.MyfriendandIwereverygladtoofferhelpandfeltlikewewerejustdoingtherightthing.Fortunately,

afterthemedicalassessment,

the

boywasn’tseriouslyinjured.Theraincontinuedtopouroutside.Althoughalittlecoldandtired,Iwasfullofwarmth,knowingthatwehadmadeadifferenceinsomeone'slifethatday.（100

words）

附原始范文：

Isuddenlythoughtofafriendwholivednearby.Withouthesitation,Icalledhimtellinghimthesituation.Hereadilysaidhewouldgetsometools.Besides,heaskedhisneighbour,whohadworkedasarescuer,tocomealongwithhim.Minuteslater,wemanagedtogetthechildout,Fortunately,therewereonlysomeminorinjuries,buthewastremblingwithfearandcold,failingtospeakanywords.Weimmediatelysenthimtohospital.Afterhecalmeddown,hetoldushisparents’phonenumberandweinformedhisparentsatonce.（86

words）

Theparentsofthechildarrivedatthehospitalquickly.Theyweretotallyshockedtohearwhathadhappened.Knowingtheirsonwassafe,theywalkedtous,expressingtheirgratitudetousagainandagainandinsistin