TED演講稿-20歲光陰不再(中英互譯)

TED演講稿-20歲光陰不再(中英互譯)happenedlater.Soitwasn'tuntilherthirties,shesaid,thatsherealizedshewasmissingoutonlifewithoutarelationship.Alex常說“30就是新的20歲”，我覺得她說得沒錯(cuò)。工作、婚姻、孩子都是后來的事情。她說直到30歲才意識(shí)到?jīng)]有戀愛關(guān)系的人生是有所遺憾的。Aswecontinuedtomeet,Alex'sstoriesstartedtochange.Shetoldmehowshewasstartingtoseeapatterninherrelationshipsthatwasn'tworking.Shewasalwayschoosingmenwhowereunavailableinonewayoranother.隨著我們的咨詢繼續(xù)，Alex的故事開始發(fā)生變化。她告訴我她開始意識(shí)到自己總是選擇那些在某種程度上不可得的男人，這種模式不起作用。Irememberonemomentwhenshewasdescribingahotandcoldguyshewasseeing,andIhadthissuddenthought,like,"OhmyGod,that'sme."Anditwasn'tjustwithmen,ithappenedwithfriends,too.Ihadthishabitofpushingpeopleaway,andthenwhenIstartedtofeelabandoned,I'dpullthembackin.我記得有一次她在描述一個(gè)情感反復(fù)的男人時(shí)，我突然有了這樣的想法，“天啊，這不就是我嗎？”而這種模式不僅出現(xiàn)在戀愛關(guān)系中，也出現(xiàn)在友誼中。我總是會(huì)把人推開，然后當(dāng)我開始感到被拋棄時(shí)，我又會(huì)把他們拉回來。ItwaslikemyownbaggagewasgettinginthewayofhelpingAlexwithhers.IrealizedIneededtoworkonmyselfifIwasevergoingtobeaffectivetherapist.我的個(gè)人問題影響到了我?guī)椭鶤lex解決她的問題。我意識(shí)到如果我想成為一名有效的治療師，我需要解決自己的問題。AlexandIwereinourtwenties,withnothingbuttime.AsAlexsaid,"30isthenew20."Iagreedwithher.Wehadplentyoftimebeforeustowork,getmarried,havechildren,andevenfacedeath.However,mysupervisorsoonpushedmetotalktoAlexaboutherlovelife.Ipushedback,sayingthatwhileshewasdatingaknucklehead,shewasn'tgoingtomarryhim.Butmysupervisorrepliedthatshemightmarrythenextone,andthatthebesttimetoworkonhermarriagewasbeforeshehadone.Thiswasmy"aha!"moment.Irealizedthat30wasnotthenew20.Whilepeopledosettledownlaterthanbefore,thatdoesn'tmeanthatAlex'stwentieswereadevelopmentaldowntime.年齡超過40歲的人不要驚慌。我認(rèn)為這個(gè)群體也會(huì)過得很好。我們知道，職業(yè)生涯的前10年對(duì)你未來的收入有指數(shù)級(jí)的影響。我們也知道，超過一半的美國(guó)人在30歲時(shí)已經(jīng)結(jié)婚、同居或正在約會(huì)他們未來的伴侶。ButwhatIwishIhadknownandwanttoimparttoall20somethingsisthatthirtyreallyisn'tthenew20.Soclaimingyour20sisnotaboutcrammingmoreintoyour20slater.It'sabouttakingadvantageofthecleanest,clearestwatersthatyouwilleverhaveinyourlife.但是，我希望我當(dāng)時(shí)知道的并且想要傳達(dá)給所有的20多歲的人的是：30歲真的不是新的20歲。所以，認(rèn)領(lǐng)你的20歲并不是為了在你20歲后把更多的事情塞進(jìn)去。它是關(guān)于利用你一生中最清澈、最明亮的時(shí)光。Soherearethe10thingsIwishIhadknownwhenIwas20:所以，以下是我希望我20歲時(shí)知道的10件事：1. Havingfunisimportant,butitisnotenough.1.享受生活很重要，但這并不足夠。2. Someofyourworstideaswillleadtoyourbestexperiences.2.你最糟糕的想法有時(shí)會(huì)導(dǎo)致你最好的經(jīng)歷。3. Youarenotyourjob.3.你不是你的工作。4. Whatyoudonowdoesn'thavetolastforever.4.你現(xiàn)在做的事情不必永遠(yuǎn)持續(xù)下去。5. Butyouwillalwaysbesomething.5.但你總會(huì)成為某種人。6. Youarealreadynaked.7.你已經(jīng)很脆弱了。7. Seekoutpeoplewhosurpriseyouandmakeyoubetter.6.你已經(jīng)很裸露了。8. Don'tbeafraidofstartingover.8.不要害怕重新開始。9. Bekindtoyourself.9.善待自己。10. Investinrelationshipslikeit'syourjob,becauseitistheonlyjobthatmatters.10.像對(duì)待工作一樣投資于人際關(guān)系，因?yàn)檫@是唯一重要的工作。我們的20多歲是成年發(fā)展的關(guān)鍵時(shí)期，但很少有人意識(shí)到這一點(diǎn)。相反，媒體卻將20多歲稱作延長(zhǎng)的青春期，給人一種不成熟的印象。這些稱呼不僅貶低了20多歲的人，也忽視了這個(gè)階段對(duì)個(gè)人成長(zhǎng)的重要性。倫納德·伯恩斯坦曾說，要取得偉大的成就，你需要一個(gè)計(jì)劃和不夠的時(shí)間。這話很有道理，那么如果你對(duì)20多歲的人說：“你有10年額外的時(shí)間來開始你的人生”，又會(huì)發(fā)生什么呢？什么也不會(huì)發(fā)生。你剝奪了這個(gè)人的緊迫感和雄心壯志，這是非常危險(xiǎn)的。我們必須認(rèn)識(shí)到，20多歲是成年發(fā)展的關(guān)鍵時(shí)期，這是我們成為自己想成為的人的關(guān)鍵時(shí)期。我們需要珍惜這個(gè)時(shí)期，制定計(jì)劃并積極行動(dòng)，而不是將其視為無聊的青春期延長(zhǎng)。只有這樣，我們才能在這個(gè)關(guān)鍵時(shí)期實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的夢(mèng)想和目標(biāo)。雷昂納德·伯恩斯坦曾說過：要取得成就，你需要一個(gè)計(jì)劃和緊迫感。這是一句大實(shí)話！因此，當(dāng)你告訴一個(gè)20多歲的人，“你還有多余的10年來開始你的生活”，你覺得這會(huì)改變什么嗎？其實(shí)不會(huì)。這只會(huì)奪走那個(gè)人的緊迫感和雄心壯志，卻無法改變?nèi)魏问虑?。每天，像你們或你們的兒子女兒一樣聰明有趣?0多歲的人走進(jìn)我的辦公室，說出這樣的話：“我知道我的男朋友對(duì)我不夠好，但這段關(guān)系不算數(shù)。我只是在消磨時(shí)間而已。”或者，“只要我在30歲之前開始我的事業(yè)，就足夠了，這是每個(gè)人都告訴我的。”但隨著時(shí)間的流逝，他們開始變得焦慮：“我20多歲的時(shí)候已經(jīng)結(jié)束了，卻沒有什么成果。我大學(xué)畢業(yè)后的簡(jiǎn)歷比現(xiàn)在更加出色?！被蛘撸拔?0多歲時(shí)的約會(huì)就像是玩音樂椅，每個(gè)人都在四處奔波，玩得很開心，但到了快30歲的時(shí)候，就像音樂停了下來，每個(gè)人都開始坐下來了?！盩oomanypeopleintheir30sand40slookatthemselvesandme,sittingacrosstheroom,andwonderwhattheyweredoingandthinkingintheir20s.Iwanttochangethewaythatpeopleintheir20sthinkandact.Letmetellyouastoryabouthowthatcanbedone.ThisstoryisaboutawomannamedEmma.At25,Emmacametomyofficebecauseshewasgoingthroughanidentitycrisis.Shesaidthatshemightwanttoworkinartorentertainment,butshehadn'tmadeuphermindyet.Instead,shehadspentthelastfewyearswaitingtables.Tosavemoney,shelivedwithaboyfriendwhohadabadtemperandnoambition.Ashardasher20swere,herearlylifehadbeenevenharder.Sheoftencriedinoursessions,butthenwouldcollectherselfbysaying,"Youcan'tpickyourfamily,butyoucanpickyourfriends."Overthenextfewweeksandmonths,IsharedthreeimportantthingswithEmmathateverytwenty-something,regardlessofgender,shouldhear.Firstly,IadvisedEmmatoletgoofanyidentitycrisisandfocusonbuildingheridentitycapital.Thismeansdoingthingsthataddvaluetowhosheisandinvestinginherfutureself.WhileIcouldn'tpredictEmma'scareerpathorthefutureofwork,Iknewthatidentitycapitalbegetsidentitycapital.Therefore,nowisthetimetotakethatcross-countryjob,pursuethatinternship,orstartthatnewventure.Iemphasizedtheimportanceofexplorationthatcounts,ratherthanaimlessprocrastination.IencouragedEmmatoexplorehercareeroptionsandmakethemostofeveryopportunity.Bybuildingheridentitycapital,Emmawillbebetterequippedtonavigatetheuncertainjobmarketandcreateafulfillingcareerpath.Emmabelievedthatwhileyoucan'tchooseyourfamily,youcanchooseyourfriends.However,assheenteredhertwenties,sherealizedthatshewouldsoonbechoosingherownfamilywhenshepartneredwithsomeoneandstartedafamilyofherown.IadvisedEmmathatthetimetostartchoosingyourfamilyisnow.Whilesomemayarguethatsettlingdownat30isbetterthanat20or25,simplygrabbingwhoeveryouhappentobelivingwithorsleepingwithwheneveryoneelseisgettingmarriedisnotth