2023學(xué)年完整公開課版友誼作文2016

Writing每個人都需要朋友。請寫篇演講稿談?wù)勀銓τ颜x的看法。1描述發(fā)生在你和朋友之間的一件事；2談?wù)勀銓τ颜x的看法。注意：100詞；25分鐘內(nèi)完成。高分點(diǎn)贊C1507：張李軒，李晴YHC1518：易文波，唐嘉陵，鄧可，譚思涵存在問題1：演講稿格式不正確（開頭）開頭Hello!Boysandgirls!I'mdelightedtostandhere/It’smygreathonortotaltoyouaboutmyattitudetowardsfriendshiaginebeingwithoutthemNowIamgladtoshareastorywithmyfriendhere!

存在問題2：文章謀篇布局不當(dāng)1通篇為觀點(diǎn)性的句子或觀點(diǎn)句加好幾個假設(shè)但沒有具體描述發(fā)生在你和朋友之間的一件事。此部分為文章的重點(diǎn)，應(yīng)占60詞左右。2第三段所發(fā)表的觀點(diǎn)與事件脫節(jié)。OneeampleHello,everyone!I'dlietoshareastoryaboutmyfriendLilywithyou!Onemorning,hermothersentherabeautifulhairflowerIwantedtohavealoo,butshedidn'tallowIthoughtShewasjoing,soIrobbeditUnfortunately,it'sbroenShewasveryangrySeeingthat,IaeanymoreIt'sjustahairflower,isn'titItcannotbemeasuredifitisrealfriendshiaybeIwouldnotore第三段整改：It'saaybesuchfriendisnotworthhavingInmyoeansmercyandforgivenessDoyouthinso存在問題3：絞盡腦汁仍無事件可寫原因：事件描述簡單、且時(shí)態(tài)混亂如：考試事件haveaqui--hard--hel吵架事件argue--apologie--befriendagain

事件描述需從時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)、人物、事件發(fā)生的起因、經(jīng)過、結(jié)果等方面進(jìn)行描述，且要用一般過去時(shí)態(tài)。存在問題4：句型結(jié)構(gòu)單一，簡單句多，且語言基本錯誤多eg:telled;gived;shoaeddidn'ttoldwillcan'tinthistimeyouself存在問題5：書寫馬虎，卷面不整潔優(yōu)秀學(xué)生作文Hello!Everyone!WhatfriendshieanstoyouForsome,friendshiostimyopinion,goodfriendsdon'tletyoudostupidthingsalone!

MaybewearestuesstrongerthanbeforeHaveyougotagoodfriendwholiestodostupidthingswithyouspecial!Attractive!構(gòu)思新穎、內(nèi)容充實(shí)、

結(jié)構(gòu)清晰、語言運(yùn)用自如！好詞好句:1Theylistenedetocheeruesincerely2Ihoselves3Asweallnow,friendshiportancetoeveryone好詞好句:4Iamgreatlyconvincedthatthemostimadesomecruelremars,butshedidn’tae6Istartedtoregretblamingherandcouldn’thelpspyingher好詞好句:IhadaquarrelwithJac,andhemadesomecruelremarsaboutmeday,myfriend,Dianashowedgreatinterestinasance,butIdarednottohaveatryforfearofmaingmistaes優(yōu)秀學(xué)生作文優(yōu)秀學(xué)生作文優(yōu)秀學(xué)生作文優(yōu)秀學(xué)生作文范文一：Hello,everyoneIamverygladtostandheretomaeasytoeshareastorywithyouaboutmeandoneofmybestfriendManymemoriesfadeaway;however,neverwillIforgettheaccidentlastmonthOnasunnysundayafternoon,weweregoingtothecinemaOnthewaytocinema,wetaledsohayfriendgotveryworriedandlooedsadderthanmeTomysureonherbacwithoutasecondthought,runningtothehosomentShewassuchathingirlIcouldn'timaginehowwearrivedathospitalThroughthisaccident,IlovehermorestronglyIseethetruefriendshipFriendsarealwaystherewhenweareintroubleThat'sallThanyou范文二：Goodmorning,boysandgirls!I'mgladtohavethischancetotaltoyouaboutfriendshiyoostimportantthinginlifeItisfriendsthatalwaysButtomysurymathandIwassouaginehowangrymyybestfriendAnneeeandsharingherhaeShetoldmethattomorrowwouldbebrilliantThanstoherhelpor