恭維語(yǔ)在中西方文化交際中的差異

1-恭維語(yǔ)在中西方文化交際中的差異1.IntroductionLanguageisthecarrierofsocialculture,itrecordingandtransferringtheculture.Withnoexception,complimentasalanguagephenomenonandthemostcommonspeechareverycommonindailylife.Whenpeopleusethelanguageofcompliment,therewouldbeundercertainsocialenvironment,theyshouldpayattentiontothosedifferences,suchasdifferentnationalities,cultures,historicalperiods,economicbase,people’svalues,livinghabitsanddifferentaestheticmanners.Intheprocessofimplementation,complimentscanreflecteachother’ssocialstatus.Generallyspeaking,suchdifferencesareareflectionofculturaldiversities.Intheprocessofcross-culturalcommunicationbetweeneasternandwesterncountries,complimentisoneofthemostcommonusedlanguages.Itoftenplaysaroleofgreeting,gratitude,openingthetopic,aswellastheroleofloosingthecontradictions.Buteachnationhasitsownlanguageandculturewhicharedifferentfromtheothernations.Theselanguagesandcultureshavetheirownuniqueformandcontentwhichhaveadistinctivenationalcharacteristic.Asdifferentnations,therearehugedifferencesintheuseofcomplimentandresponse,forexample:Whenonewasinvitedtodinneratafriend’shouse,theAmericansalwaysboast,“yourwifeisverybeautiful”,whileinChinapeoplealwayssaid,“Yourchildisclever”.Withregardtocomplimentanditsresponse,theChineseandwesternersaredifferent.Westernerstendtobravelysay“Thankyou”,whereastheChinesearenotasstraightforwardastheyare,theyoftensay“不行,不行”,“哪里，哪里”or“差遠(yuǎn)了”andsoontoexpresshishumbleattitude.Therefore,intheprocessofverbalcommunication,theChineseandwesternersoftenmakesomejokeswhentheyusethelanguageofcompliment,whichsometimesevencauseunpleasantresults.Thepaperaimsatpointingoutthatitisnotenoughtoonlymasterthelanguageitself.Thekeyincross-culturalcommunicationistostudytheculturewhichhidesbehindlanguagesuchasvalues,customsandtaboosbymakinguseofthedifferencesamongtheformoflanguage,responseandcompliment.2.TheMainExistingReasonsforCulturalDifferencesinChineseandWesternComplimentsChineseandWesternculturesaretotallytwodifferenttypesofculture.Becauseofdifferentsocialstructuresandculturalbackgrounds,eachnationformeditsownvalues,waysofthinkingandculturalstatute.Asweknow,Chinaisacountrywithfive-thousand-year’shistoryandculture.MeanwhileChinaisalsoatraditionalagriculturalcountry,whosecultureisbasedonmoralsoffarmingcivilization.TheChineseoftenregardthenatureasawholeharmonyandclaimtheintegrationbetweenhumanbeingsandthewholeuniverse,whichformstheideologyof“NatureandHumanity"andthevaluesbasedongroups.WhileduetotheimpactoftraditionaleducationofancientChina,Chinaisahierarchysocietyandattachgreatimportancetothedoctrineof“nobleiftheupper,humbleifthedown”and“l(fā)oweroneselftoshowrespecttoothers”.Ontheotherhandwesterncountriesdidn’thavesuchalonghistory,especiallytheUnitedStateswhichisrelativelyashorthistorycountrywithmulti-ethnicandmulti-culturalcapitalistrule.TheearlyimmigrantscametotheNorthAmericancontinenttofindanewlifeinordertokeepawayfromtheshacklesoffeudaltraditionandtheiroppression.Therefore,suchsentences“thatallmenareequal,thattheyareendowedbytheirCreatorwithcertainunalienablerights,thatamongthesearelife,libertyandthepursuitofHappiness”werewritteninDeclarationofIndependence.Theprinciplethat“Allmenareborntoequal”hasbecomeeveryAmerican’spursuit,andtheyaredeeplyrootedintheirhearts.Sofromthispointofview,thisprincipleisbasedonobjectsandextravagantlocalbusinessaswellasisonetypicalwesternculture.Thewesterncultureemphasizesontheuniversephilosophycalled“SeparationoftheUniversefromMan”andtheirvalueismainlybasedontheindividual.Sothewesternerstakelittleabouttheconceptofhierarchyandthethoughtofrespectingthenoble.Whencommunicatingwithpeople,theyoftenadoptthe“strategyofseekingthesame”inordertomaintainequalitywitheachother.3.DifferenceinUsingLanguageOneevidentialfeatureforourChineseusingthecomplimentistoexpressrespecttothepeoplewhoisworthy.Whenaskedaboutthenamesofothers,theChinesealwayssay,“你貴姓?”or“你尊姓大名?”.Whensomeonebuiltanewhouse,peoplealwayssay,“恭喜你大廈落成”.Whenafamilyhadababy,peoplealwayssay,“恭喜你喜得貴子”.Theaboveutterancescanbeheardatanytimeinourdailylife.Whilethewesternershaveadifferentstate.Theythinkthatsuchlanguageisentirelysuperfluous.Whenaskedaboutone’sname,theysimplyusethisquestion,“CanIhaveyourname?”or“What’syourname?”Aftertheothersidegivingashortanswer,thequestionersalwaysreply“Youhavealovelyname”andtheyseldomuserespectlanguageatthebeginning.InmanyoccasionstheChinesealwaysusecomplimenttoheightentheoppositepeopleanddetracthimself,howeverwesternersusecomplimenttoadvocateequality.Theythinkthatitisinappropriatetouseimmoderatecourtesyandcompliment,thustheyoftenadoptarathersimpleadjectivestopraisepeople,suchas“good,great,nice”.Inordertoachievetheeffectofhumorandexaggeration,sometimestheyevenaddanadjectivebeforederogatoryterm,suchas“terrific,awfully”,“Youareawfullynice.”Whenusingcompliment,asignificantdifferencehereisthedifferentpositionofpersonalpronouns.TheChinesepeoplealwaysliketoputthesecondperson“you”onthefirstplaceofthesentencewhentheycomplimentonsomebody,suchas“Yourdressissosaucy”,“Yourdesignissofashionable”.Whilethewesternersusethefirstperson,putting“I”onthefirstplaceofsentence.Pleaselookatthefollowingexamples:⑴.Ithinkyourcoatsuitsyou.你的外套蠻合身。⑵.Ilikeyourhairstyle.你的發(fā)型不錯(cuò)。⑶.Iamsoproudofyou.你是我的驕傲。Westernerstendtoexpresspersonalfeelings.Theyhavetheirownopinionstowardthingsandalltheseopinionsarenotachievedovernight.Theythinkthatthebestcomplimentistofaithfullyrevealtheirownpointofviewandalsolike“selfassertiveness”,whichisdifferentfromweChinesewhotendtoholdthegroupconsciousness.TheChinesearerarelyconfrontwithpeople.Theyimpliedsomethingasmuchaspossibleandtheyaregoodatseeinghowcircumstancechangeswhencommunicating.Theyalsohaveahighdegreeofsensitivityandacceptancetowardtoone’slanguage,thusformingaself-madeandcautiouscharacter.4.DifferenceinResponseFormulasBecausetheChineseandtheWesternershavedifferentculturalbackgrounds,therearehugedifferencesinobservingtheworldaswellasthethinkingpatternsoftreatingthingsandcorrespondingmodeofbehaviorpatterns.Thesedifferencesaretheculturedifferences,whicharevitalbarriersinthecross-culturalcommunication.Torespondtoother’scompliment,thewesternersarealwayspleasedtoacceptandsay“Thankyou”toexpresshishumility.Forexample⑷.A:Whatalovelyroomyouhave.B:Thankyou!I’mreallysatisfiedwithitmyself.你的房子真不錯(cuò).謝謝，我自己還確實(shí)滿意.HerethereareseveralAmerican-stylecomplimentsdialogs:Oneisneitherclearlyecho,nordirectlynegativetotheotherside:⑸.A:You’rewearingalovelyskirt.B:WellIhappenedtoseeitwhenIwasshopping.你穿的裙子真漂亮。我昨天去購(gòu)物時(shí)正好碰上便買下來(lái)了.Anotheristoaccepttheotherside’scomplimentpartly⑹.A:YourFrenchisverygood.B:Wellmylisteningisnotbad,butIstillhaveproblemwithspeaking.你的法語(yǔ)不錯(cuò).我的聽力還可以，但表達(dá)還是個(gè)問(wèn)題.⑺.A:You’reverysmarttoday!B:Thankyou!Soareyou.你今天好漂亮.謝謝，你也一樣.Theaboveexamplesfullyexplainthatwhenthewesternersresponsecomplimenttheybothexpresstheirtrueattitudesandmaintaintheirownself-esteemtogivetheotheramorespecificanswer.Generallyspeaking,whentheChineserespondthecompliment,theyapparentlydenyornotcompletelyacceptit.Thefollowingaresomecomplimentsandcomplimentresponseweoftenhear.HerethereareseveralChinese-stylecomplimentsdialogs:⑻.M:幾年不見你還是那么年輕。Ihavenotseenyouforyears,youstilllooksoyoung.W:什么呀，別拿我開玩笑。No，don’tjokeonme.⑼.A:小明真聰明XiaoMingisveryclever.B:您過(guò)獎(jiǎng)了Youarejustpraisingme.⑽.A:你妻子今天真漂亮。Yourwifelooksprettytoday.B:她呀，就知道臭美。Oh，shejustlikestoshowoff.WhentheChineseacceptcomplimenttheyareveryhappyinheart,buttheytakeanegativeattitudeintheirwords.Thekeyquestionisthemodesty,whichChinesealwaysregardedasavirtue.Sowhenonepersoniscomplimentedorboasted,theywillmannerlysay“不敢當(dāng),我不行”.Butthisresponsepatternisnotconsistentwiththehabitsofwesterners.TakingtheAmericansforexample,theAmericansregardexcessivelymodestyasself-displayandabehaviortoshowtheirincompetencewhentalkingwithpeople.Theirculturalbackgroundsare:Praisersalwayswishthattheoppositecouldaffirmtheirownpraiseofgiveapositiveevaluationresponse,suchsaying“Thankyou”toencouragepraisers.ItisjustabouttheAmerican’snaturalattitudeandtheChinese’sexcessivelymodestythatreflectthetwonations'culturaldifferences,andtheseshouldbeparticularlyimportantintheculturalcommunications.5.DifferenceinTargetofComplimentWewillanalyzetheexisteddiversitiesintargetsbetweentheChineseandthewesternersfromthefollowingtwoaspects.5.1Appearance(fashionandsensitivetopic)AppearanceisoneofthemostimportantcomplimenttargetsinEast-Westerncompliments.Women’sappearance(color,shape,clothing,dress,demeanor,etc.)oftenbecomplimented,especiallybymen,forexample:⑾.Youlooksoprettywhenyousmile,youshoulddoitmoreoften.你笑起來(lái)真美，你該常常這樣Womenalsocanbecomplimented,inTheUnitedStatesastudentcancomplimenthis\herteacherlikethis⑿.Youlookveryeleganttoday.您今天真的美極了。WhenAmericanwomenmeetsuchacompliment,shewillnotfeelshy.However,onthecontrary,theythinkitisakindofhonor.WhileinChina,theappearancesofwomenareoftenthetargetsofcompliment.Butthereisalimitincomplimentingtheappearanceofwomen,especiallybetweenfemales.Ifaboycomplimentsagirl'sappearancewhomhedoesn’tknow,hisbehaviormayevenberegardedas“vulgar”.IfanAmericanboypaystributetohisknownChinesegirlandsays,“Youareasexygirl.”Itisverylikelythatthisgood-heartedboywillsufferasharpcurse.TheChineseculturethiskindofbrazencomplimentwillberegardasafrivolousbehaviororevenvulgar.5.2TheDifferenceofComplimentingOther'sAbilityandAchievementTherearetwomajordifferencesincapabilitiesandachievementsofthecompliment.Firstofall,theAmericansfocusesontheresults,suchspeechescanbeseeneverywhere.Forexample,⒀.Youhavedoneagoodjob.你工作得不錯(cuò)。⒁.Welldone!干得好?、?Iamsatisfiedwithwhatyouhavedone.你所做的我很滿意。MeanwhiletheChineseemphasizeonthepersonalqualities:suchas:“smart,wisdomandsoon”.Weoftenhearsuchacompliment:[16].whatasmartbaby寶寶真聰明[17].Yourmotherissocapable你媽媽好能干[18].Thisismycolleague;hewillstudyintheUnitedStated.這是我同事，他就要去美國(guó)留學(xué)呢Accordingtothecomplimentonachievementsandability,theAmericanspaymuchattentiontoreality,emphasizingtheresults.WhileChineseliketouseabstractlanguageandbeataboutthebushwithcautions.Inaddition,WolfsonandManes’sstudieshaveshownthat“inwesternsocietypeoplecomingfromthehighersocialstatusaremorelikelytousecompliments.Thisstudyalsoprovethatcomplimentinvolvedinabilityandachievementisasternlyjudge,whichmustbemadebyacapableperson.Underunequalsocialstatus,especiallybetweentheworkingrelationships,thecompetencetomakeajudgeisstronglylinkedwithhighertechnologyandabundantknowledge.Besides,itisanovertruletoexpressyourjudgmentindirectlytoyoursuperiors”(王德杏，1998：36).Anotherruleisthatitiswisetowishtheupperstomakeajudgmenttotheirsubordinate’sworkingbehaviors.WhileinChina,itisgenerallythelowersocialstatusortheinferiorgiveacomplementtothesuperiorsasameansofacquiringfavorfromthesupervisors.Weoftenhearsuchcompliments[19].劉經(jīng)理真行，既有管理能力，又有組織能力.Itisbecauseofsuchcomplimentsthatthehighermanagercannotgriptherealsituation,andmayalsocauseerrorsintheactualworkofleadership.6.DispelMisunderstandinginCross-culturalCommunication.Wolfsonpointedout,“inparticular,whatcountsasacomplimentmaydifferverymuchfromonesocietytoanother.”(WolfsonN,1981:No2)intheeyesoftheAmericans,someoftheircomplimentsseemtophrasesomeone,whilefortheChineseitmayberegardedashumiliation.Onthecontrary，toweChinesesomeapparentcomplimentsmaybenonsenseormeanttooffendtowardAmericans.ThefollowingexampleisacomplimentfortheChinesepeople;butisoffendenceforAmericans.[20].A:Yournecklaceispuregold,isn’tit?B:Yes,itis.Myhusbandboughtitforme.A:Youareluckytohaveahusbandwhoearnssomuch.Hismoneymakesyoumoreattractive.A:你的項(xiàng)鏈?zhǔn)羌兘鸬陌?！B:是的，我老公賣給我的。A:你真幸運(yùn)，有一個(gè)能掙這么多錢的老公，把你包裝得越來(lái)越迷人了。MostAmericanscannotaccepttheaboveviews.TheywillthinkthecharmingofBismadeupbymoney,andtalkingaboutpeople’sincomehasbecomeaviolationofprivacytoothers.SoifyoucomplimentanAmericanwomanlikethis,sheisboundtoangry.Similarly,thewesternersregardsomeparolesasacompliment,whiletheChinesetreatittobeincredible,evencreateafeelingofhatred.Forexample,Sino-foreignjointventuresofU.S.ExpertscommentedthattheChineseworkersareverycompetent,saying“Youarecleveraswellasowls”.Butthetranslatortranslateditliterally“你們像貓頭鷹一樣聰明”.ThistranslationmadetheChineseworkersunhappy.Infact,atthistimeitwasbetterfortheinterpretertotranslateitas“你們非常聰明”.BecauseinChinaowlisregardedasominoussignthatonemayrunintobadluck,whiletheAmericanstaketheowlasasymbolofwisdom.SothereisasayinginEnglish“aswellasanowl”(thesameastheowlissosmart)”.（沙保華，1990：64）Whenanalyzingthereasonsofcross-culturalcommunicationmisunderstandingscausedbyspeechacts,Thomas(1983)putforwardthedifferencebetweenpracticallanguagemistakes(orpragmaticlinguisticfailure)andsocialpragmaticfailure.Misunderstandingthenuancesofcertainwordsortermsofthetargetlanguageincommunicationoftenleadstomistakes.Forexample,aChinesestudentsawhisforeignteacher’ssix-yearoldboyplaying,hesaid:Whatanaughtyboy!Atthistime,thisAmericanteachershowedhisunhappinessandresponded:No,heisnotnaughty,heislovely.Itisobviousthatthisstudenthadmadeaspeechmistake.Thomascalledthisphenomenon“covertgrammaticalerror”.Thepraiserintendedtoexpressthemeaningoflove,buthemisusedtheword“naughty”.TheChineseoftenpraisedlovelychildrenandsay“smallnaughty”,whileinEnglish‘naught’hasthemeaningofimpishanddisobedience.Sowecouldlearnthatamisuseoflanguagecancausesocialembarrassmentandmisunderstanding.Togetanaccurateunderstanding,speakersneedtocaptureculturalknowledge.Thefollowingtwoexamplesaremisunderstandingcausedbythelackofknowledgeofthetargetlanguagecultureanditssocialpractices.OneChinesestudentpaidavisittoanAustralianfriend’shouseandsawmanyguestsinhishouseandspokeoptionally:Whatabigfamilyyouhave!BecauseAustralianfrienddidn’tunderstandtheChineseculturesthatalargepopulationisconsideredasproperty,thushereplied:Yes,butithasitsadvantagestoo.OnetranslatorvisitedtotheUnitedStateswithaChinesedelegation.Afterthenegotiation,theU.S.managersaidtotheChinesetranslator“YourEnglishisverygood.”Theinterpreterrepliedblushly,“Ohno,itisnot,myEnglishisnotgoodenough”.Thisanswerislikelytobemisunderstanding.TheAmericanswouldthinkthattheanswerofthistranslatorisakindofdenyofhisidentifyingcapacity,whiletheChinesetranslatorthoughtthatthepraiserspokeinsincerely.Thereisabiggapbetweenspeaker’sintentionsandthemessagehe\shewantedtodeliver.Thewesterner’sremarkonone’sdressandornamentisconsideredasinappropriateormisleadingbypeoplewhoseculturalbackgroundsaredifferent.Forinstance,anAmericanteachersaidtoaChinesefemale,“Hey,what’soccasion?Youlookreallynicetoday.”WhenthisChineseheardofthesewordsshemayfeelthatself-esteemandthoughttheAmericanteacherwasnotsatisfywithhertidinessandgrace.Tothepraiserandthepraised,suchcorrespondingcommunicationsdifferencesformariskofoffence.Thatisbecauseifpraisewordsarenotadmittedtheywillnotreceivecorrespondingresponse.That’sbecauseifpraisewordsarenotadmitteditwillreceivecorrespondingresponse.Inaparticularcontext,itismoreacceptabletopraisesometopicsthantheothers.Ifamanlikestopaytributetotheclassofafemaleteacherandpraisedherlesson,suchbehaviorwillnotbemisunderstood.Butifhecommentsonherdress,itiseasytocauseembarrassment.WolfsonpointedoutthatinAmericanthemostsecureappraisementistopraisethestranger’spossessions,suchas“Thatisabeautifulcar”,and“Youhaveanicehouse”,orsomepublicaction,suchas“Ireallyenjoyedyourtalkyesterday”.Ifwewanttoaccuratelydeterminewhichtopicispropertobecommended,westillhavetomasteralargenumberofculturalknowledgeandsocialcustomsrules.Beinglackofenoughknowledgeofeachother’ssocial-culturaltraditions,thisoftenresultsininappropriatespeechwhichisanimportantreasonforcommunicatingfailures.Itis