生活大爆炸 第四季第二集中英文劇本

生活大爆炸第四季第二集在干嘛呢\Whatchadoin'there?研究抓嗶嗶鳥的新方法嗎\Workingonanewplantocatchtheroadrunner?你這個幽默暗指我是大笨狼懷爾嗎\ThehumorousimplicationbeingthatIamWileE.Coyote?沒錯\Yes.而板上畫的捕鳥設備\Andthisisaschematicforabird-trappingdevice最終只會適得其反讓我受傷嗎\thatwillultimatelybackfireandcausemephysicalinjury?沒錯\Yes.我正在做的\WhatI'mdoinghere是想計算出我的死亡時間\istryingtodeterminewhenI'mgoingtodie.很多人都在做這方面的研究\Alotofpeopleareworkingonthatresearch.那這些是什么\Sowhatisallthis?我家人的壽命長短\Myfamilyhistoryfactoringinlongevity疾病傾向等信息\propensityfordisease,etcetera.有意思\Interesting.卡爾叔叔的死因是KBB\CauseofdeathforUncleCarlwasKBB.KBB是什么\What's"KBB"?被獾所殺\"Killedbybadger."怎么回事\How'sthat?那是感恩節(jié)\ItwasThanksgiving.卡爾叔叔說"我覺得有只獾住在咱家煙囪里"\UncleCarlsaid,"Ithinkthere'sabadgerlivinginourchimney.""把手電筒給我"\"Handmethatflashlight."那是他對我們說的最后幾句話\Thosewerethelastwordsheeverspoketous.我覺得\Idon'tthinkyouneed你沒必要擔心被獾所殺會遺傳\toworryaboutdeathbybadgersbeinghereditary.不對\Nottrue.戰(zhàn)斗或逃跑的本能受基因控制\Thefightorflightinstinctiscodedgenetically.他沒選擇逃跑反而赤手空拳\Insteadoffleeing,hechosetofightbarehanded跟鼬類動物中強壯的一員戰(zhàn)斗\againstabrawnymemberoftheweaselfamily.誰能肯定我沒遺傳這種有缺陷的基因\Who'stosaythatIdon'tsharethatflawedDNA?你反正可以找只獾來驗證的\Youcanalwaysgetabadgerandfindout.說實在的\Butseriously即使我忽略卡爾叔叔這個因素\evenifIdisregardtheUncleCarlfactor我最多也只剩60年壽命\atbestIhave60yearsleft.還有那么長啊\Thatlong,huh?60年我只能活到這里\60onlytakesmetohere.我要活到這里\Ineedtogettohere.那里有什么\What'sthere?據(jù)預計奇點最早出現(xiàn)的時間\Theearliestestimateofthesingularity人們能將自己的意識\whenmanwillbeabletotransferhisconsciousness轉移進機器而獲得永生\intomachinesandachieveimmortality.這么說你不高興自己會錯失\So,you'reupsetaboutmissingout變成某種怪異的有自我意識的機器人的機會\onbecomingsomesortoffreakishself-awarerobot?就差這么一點啊\Bythismuch.真可惜你要吃雞蛋嗎\Toughbreak.Youwanteggs?你不明白萊納德\Youdon'tgetit,Leonard.我會錯過很多東西\I'mgoingtomisssomuch.統(tǒng)一場論冷聚變還有章狗\theunifiedfieldtheory,coldfusion,thedogapus.章狗是什么\What'sadogapus?狗和章魚的雜交動物\Thehybriddogandoctopus.人類在水下的忠實朋友\Man'sunderwaterbestfriend.有人研究這個嗎\Issomebodyworkingonthat?我打算過研究的\Iwasgoingto.我想把它作為我三百歲的生日禮物\Iplannedongivingittomyselfonmy300thbirthday.等等你討厭狗\Waitaminute.Youhatedogs.章狗玩接球時能接八個球\Adogapuscanplayfetchwitheightballs.沒有人能討厭這個\Noonecanhatethat.我們欠你多少錢\Whatdoweoweyou?一共是28.17美元\Itcameto$28.17.每人就六美元吧\Let'ssaysixbucksapiece.給你\Hereyougo.謝謝\Thankyou.干嘛\What?算了我請了\Nevermind.Igotit.你要我給錢啊\Oh,youwantedmetopay.-不用了-不不不你是對的\-It'snobigdeal.-No,no,no,no.You'reright.我們已經(jīng)分手了我應該自己付錢\We'renotgoingoutanymore;Ishouldpayformyself.笑什么\What?他說"如果他有女人身子"\Hesaid,"Ifhehadwomanparts"他后半輩子就不愁吃了"\"he'deatforfreetherestofhislife"是啊可你也沒辦法跟自己說話了\Yeah,butyouwouldn'tbeabletotalktoyourself.我現(xiàn)金有點緊張啊\I'malittlelowoncash.-你有多少-沒有\(zhòng)-Howmuchyougot?-Nothing.你不帶錢怎么出門啊\Howcanyouwalkaroundwithnomoney?我漂亮別人請客\I'mcute.Igetby.沒事欠著吧\It'sokay,youcanoweme.-謝謝-謝爾頓六美元\-Thankyou.-Sheldon,sixbucks.不了謝謝我今晚不吃披薩\No,thankyou.I'mnoteatingpizzatonight.可今天是星期四\Butit'sThursday.星期四是披薩之夜\Thursday'spizzanight.對我來說不是\Notforme.現(xiàn)在改成十字花科蔬菜之夜了\ThursdayisnowCruciferousVegetableNight.今晚的特選小包菜\Tonight'sselection:Brusselssprouts.真的嗎\Really?你要改謝爾頓日程表\You'rechangingtheSheldoniancalendar?-這只是個小小的代價-為啥\-It'sasmallpricetopay.-Forwhat?-不別問啊-對不起\-No,no,don'task.-Sorry,sorry,sorry,sorry,sorry.為了把我的壽命延長到能把意識\Inordertolivelongenoughtofusemyconsciousness轉移到人造大腦上我要改變飲食\withcybernetics,Ineedtochangemydiet.等等人造大腦是機器人之類的吧\Wait.Cyberneticsisrobotstuff,right?沒錯\Correct.這么說你想把自己變成某種機器人\Soyouwanttoturnyourselfintosomesortofrobot?本質(zhì)上是這樣\Essentially,yes.我想問個問題\Okay,here'smyquestion.你不是已經(jīng)變成機器人了嗎\Didn'tyoualreadydothat?雖然我受寵若驚可惜還沒有\(zhòng)Flattering,butsadly,no.我還打算開始一種運動養(yǎng)生法\I'malsoplanningtobeginanexerciseregimen加強我的心血管系統(tǒng)\designedtostrengthenmycardiovascularsystem.也就是慢跑\AKAjogging.等等親愛的你以前跑過步嗎\Wait.Honey,haveyoueverrunbefore?當然跑過\Certainly.我被惡霸狗和暴走的雞追過\I'verunfrombullies,dogs,angrychickens...還有個鍥而不舍執(zhí)意要給我做\andoneparticularlypersistentP.E.teacher脊柱側彎測試的體育老師\determinedtobendmeoverandgivemeascoliosistest.你說得對佩妮經(jīng)常跑步\You'reright.Pennyjogs.你們可以一起跑的\Maybeyouguyscanruntogether.這主意太棒了\That'sanexcellentidea.如果我們邊跑邊聊\Yeah,ifwechat就會感覺時間流逝得更快了\itwillcreatetheillusionoftimegoingfaster.絕對不可能\No,itwon't.他怎么知道我跑步的\Um,howdoesheknowIjog?因為他在車里用高倍望遠鏡尾行你\Oh,hewatchesyoufromhiscarwithhigh-poweredbinoculars.我的天吶這太猥瑣了\Oh,myGod,thatissocreepy!我就說嘛\Iknow!他說他要堅持發(fā)揚下去\Andhesayshe'snotgonnastop.那找心理醫(yī)生解決怎么和女人說話的問題啊\Thenseeashrinkandfigureouthowtotalktowomen.什么玩意兒\Whatthehell?怎么了\What'sthematter?疼痛以我的肚臍為起點\Ihavepainradiatingfrommynavel延伸到我的右下腹\tomylowerrightabdomen.我感到惡心和發(fā)熱\I'mnauseatedandfeverish.我覺得我得霍亂了\IbelieveImayhavecholera.帕薩迪納才沒霍亂呢\There'snocholerainPasadena.就跟去年夏天帕薩迪納也沒有瘧疾一樣\Justlikelastsummer,whentherewasnomalariainPasadena.好吧如果那不是霍亂\Well,ifit'snotcholera根據(jù)搜索結果\thenbasedonaquickInternetsearch由相似度遞減排列的其他解釋分別是\theotherexplanationsindecreasingorderoflikelihood先天性巨結腸肉毒桿菌中毒一條30英尺長的絳蟲\areHirschsprung'sDisease,botulism,a30-foottapeworm或者是不小心攝入菊花\oraccidentalingestionofchrysanthemumblossoms.你什么時候會不小心攝入菊花的\Whenwouldyouhaveaccidentallyeatenchrysanthemumblossoms?這是包括了夢游\It'spartofanunlikelyscenario和24小時營業(yè)的花店\thatinvolvessleepwalkinganda24-hourflowermart以及不靠譜的經(jīng)營者的不可能場景\withaless-than-vigilantproprietor.噢老天我的肚子\Oh,Lord,mybelly!你切除過闌尾嗎\Everhadyourappendixout?沒有\(zhòng)Ihaven't.我想來著但誰有那時間啊\I'vebeenmeaningto,butwhohasthetime?我送你去醫(yī)院吧\Let'sgetyoutothehospital.于是乎就此了結\Sothisishowitends...真是無比殘酷的諷刺\withcruelirony.正當我保證要保護愛惜自己的身體之時\JustasImakethecommitmenttopreservingmybody我被自己的闌尾所背叛就一退化的器官\Iambetrayedbymyappendix,avestigialorgan.你知道闌尾原本的作用是什么嗎萊納德\Doyouknowtheoriginalpurposeoftheappendix,Leonard?不知道\No.我知道而知道太多的卻滅亡而你卻能繼續(xù)活下去\Ido.AndyetI'mdoomedwhileyouliveon.結局很出乎意料是不是\Funnyhowthingsworkout,isn'tit?噢天吶我感覺要爆炸了\Oh,Lord,Ithinkit'sabouttoburst!還有種可能\Ontheotherhand也許都是小包菜的錯\itmighthavebeentheBrusselssprouts.晚安您吶\Goodnight.晚安\Goodnight.闌尾炎\Appendicitis.自己緊張個甚啊\WhatanervousNelly.佩妮佩妮佩妮\Penny!Penny!Penny!來啦來啦\Coming,coming.嘿跑鞋不錯嘛\Hey,niceknees.謝謝\Thankyou.這是我娘的\They'remymother's.閃電俠T恤是什么意思\Oh.AndtheFlashshirtiswhat?你要跑的飛快嗎\Because,what,you'regonnarunreallyfast?不是穿閃電俠衫是因為今天是星期五\No,theFlashshirtisbecauseit'sFriday但要是真能有效就更好了\butit'snicewhenthingsworkout.-你的心率監(jiān)測器在哪兒-沒有\(zhòng)-Where'syourheartratemonitor?-Idon'thaveone.-計步器呢-沒有\(zhòng)-Whataboutyourpedometer?-Don'thaveone.那你鞋子里有傳感器連接到iPod嗎\DoyouhavetelematicsinyourshoesconnectedtoaniPod?-沒-那你干嘛呢\-Uh,no.-Whatdoyoudo就出去像兔子一樣隨便蹦蹦跳跳一下嗎\Youjustgooutthereandgambolaboutlikeabunny?不也就跑到餓了然后買個熊爪包吃\No.IjustruntillI'mhungry,thenIstopforabearclaw.為什么要這么做\Whyareyoudoingthat?在跑步前最好拉伸下肌肉\It'sgoodtostretchyourmusclesbeforeyourun.好吧\Allright.先來摸個腳趾\Let'sstartwithatoetouch.你來做一個\Okay,youdoit.我正做著呢\I<i>am</i>doingit.哇哦不錯\Oh.Wow.Goodjob.你能做這個么\Canyoudothis?我們永遠也不會知道的\We'llneverknow.好吧那邊跑邊熱身吧\Okay,let'sjustwarmupontherun.-好的-那出發(fā)吧\-Okay.-Okay,let'sgo.我最近一直在讀生物力學的書\I'vebeenreadinguponbiomechanics.我認為你會驚訝于我的...\Ithinkyou'llbesurprisedatmy...我的天吶你還好嗎\Oh,myGod,areyouokay?應該吧\Ithinkso.-我來拉你一把吧-謝謝\-Oh,letmehelpyouup.-Thankyou.噢謝爾頓\Oh,Sheldon!如果這能讓你覺得好些的話\Ifitmakesyoufeelanybetter星期四不再是十字花科蔬菜之夜了\ThursdayisnolongerCruciferousVegetableNight.這是我的咖喱雞\Here'smychickencurry.霍華德的鮮蝦菜飯\Howard,yourshrimpbiryani.-謝謝您-菠菜奶豆腐是佩妮的\-Thankyou,sir.-Palakpaneer,that'sPenny.-謝謝-而拉杰·庫薩帕里的\-Thanks.-AndforRajeshKoothrappali家鄉(xiāng)發(fā)明出這些美味佳肴的人\fromwhosehomelandthesetastydishesoriginate一個大份的麥樂雞\onelargeorderofchickenMcNuggets.-我的這份多少錢-12刀\-Hey,what'smyshare?-Uh...12bucks.-我能周五付工資以后再還你嗎-沒問題\-Okay,canIgetyouafterFridaywhenIgetpaid?-Sure.我欠你多少了\WhatamIuptonow?呃算上印度菜比薩\Well,okay,withtheIndianfood,thepizza泰國菜一箱油\theThaifood,thetankofgas冷凍酸奶\thefrozenyogurt外帶你的房租嗯...\andyourrent,uh...一千四百多一點吧\alittleover$1,400.又怎么了\Whatnow?他只是表示膜拜\He'sjustexpressinghisadmirationthat你不用獻身也能蹭吃蹭喝\youdon'tevenhavetoputouttogetfreestuff.我這不是蹭我會還錢的\It'snotfree--I'mgonnapayhimback.給我停\Shutup!謝爾頓你不來嗎\Sheldon,areyougonnajoinus?就來\Coming!你們好伙計們\Greetings,friends.你好你個天知道是什么的鬼東西\Greetings,whateverthehellyouare.我是一個移動虛擬化身設備\Iamamobilevirtualpresencedevice.鑒于近來發(fā)生的事\Recentevents我意識到我的肉身太過脆弱\havedemonstratedtomethatmybodyistoofragile承受不了大千世界的種種\toendurethevicissitudesoftheworld.因此在我能夠\UntilsuchtimeasIamable轉移意識之前\totransfermyconsciousness我的肉身將保存在一個安全地點\Ishallremaininasecurelocation并借此方式同外界聯(lián)系\andinteractwiththeworldinthismanner.沒搞錯吧你就想問這個--\Really?That'syourquestion--他啥時搞來的那個斜坡\whendidheputarampin?你占了我的專屬座位\You'reinmyspot.可能一開始感覺會有點怪\Thismayseemalittleoddatfirst但時間久了你們就會漸漸習慣\butovertime,you'llgrowaccustomed和這樣的我打交道\todealingwithmeinthisconfiguration.是咩說實話我覺得沒什么不同\Yeah,tobehonest,Idon'tseemuchdifference.謝謝\Thankyou.這也是我的目的\That'swhatIwasgoingfor.那個萊納德明天我們?nèi)ド习鄷r\Now,Leonard,tomorrow,whenwegotowork你得騰出點時間來\you'llneedtoallowsomeextratime把我搬下樓梯\togetmedownthestairs.為了讓你省力我會分解成四個部分\Foryourconvenience,Idisassembleintofourpieces.這太荒唐了\Thisisridiculous.我要去找你談談\I'mcomingtotalktoyou.你不知道我在哪兒\Youdon'tknowwhereIam.我的肉身現(xiàn)被安置在\Myphysicalbodyissafelyensconced一個安全保密的場所\inasecure,undisclosedlocation.你不就在你臥室里么\You'reinyourbedroom.不我不在\No,I'mnot.我都能聽到你說話的聲音從臥室傳出來\Icanhearyourvoicecomingfromyourbedroom.不你聽不到\No,youcan't.你給我等著\Wait.回來\Comeback.站住\Halt.未經(jīng)授權人員禁止入內(nèi)\Authorizedpersonnelonly!好吧你們兩個變態(tài)\So,eitheroneofyouweirdos有誰想買我的內(nèi)衣么只要一千四百塊哦\wanttobuymyunderwear?Only1,400bucks.謝爾頓這太荒唐了\Sheldon,thisisridiculous.我在你后面\I'mbehindyou.和我說話時請看著我\Pleaselookatmewhenyou'retalkingtome.我正看著你呢\Iamlookingatyou.不你沒有\(zhòng)No,you'renot.無視床上的那個人\Paynoattentiontothatmaninthebed.你不能以這種方式存在于這世上\Youcannotexistasavirtualpresence.這兒不行工作時就更不行了\Nothereandcertainlynotatwork.我的娘咧\Oh,goodGod.你知不知道我這年紀的人\Atmyage,doyouknow統(tǒng)計數(shù)字上最可能怎么死嗎\howI'mstatisticallymostlikelytodie?被你室友做掉嗎\Atthehandsofyourroommate?死于一場意外\Anaccident.我就準備弄成像是一場意外\That'showI'mgoingtomakeitlook.在我將自己的智慧\UntilIcantransfermyintellect轉移到一個更持久的容器內(nèi)之前\toamoredurablecontainer我的肉身將被安全安置在我的床上\mybodywillremainsafelyensconcedinmybed.隨你但別指望我會幫你\Fine,butdon'texpectmyhelp.你必須幫我室友協(xié)議里寫了\Youhavetohelp--it'sintheroommateagreement.不才沒有\(zhòng)No,it'snot.74條C款\Section74.C.兩人間若有人成了機器人\Thevariousobligationsanddutiesoftheparties另一人所應盡的各項義務和責任\intheeventoneofthembecomesarobot.讓我一頭撞死好了\I'llbedamned.這種感覺太贊了\Thisisdelightful.哼哼\Uh-huh.不用擔心死于車禍\It'smucheasiertoenjoy這樣在上班路中欣賞美景\thepicturesqueroutewetraveltowork就更加怡然自得了\whenyouremovethespecteroffieryvehiculardeath.提醒我下\Refreshmymemory.我干嘛不直接把你塞進后備箱呢\Whydidn'tIjustputyouinthetrunk?因為我先搶了前排座位記得不\BecauseIcalledshotgun.Remember?好吧\Right.你看著壓力很大\Youseemtense.這樣會不會感到放松\Perhapsthiswillrelaxyou.我不想聽音樂謝爾頓\Idon'twanttolistentomusic,Sheldon.好吧\Verywell.真不明白你為什么不喜歡這樣\Idon'tunderstandwhyyou'renotenjoyingthis.你和增強功能的我一起在車里\Together,inthiscar,withmyenhancedcapabilities這就好比霹靂游俠嘛\we'relikeKnightRider.\an8\fn方正黑體簡體\fs18\b1\bord1\shad1\3c&H2F2F2F&同名電視劇男主角和他的人工智能車那里面的車可不是括約肌吱吱響的廢柴\ExceptinKnightRider,thecarisn'tayammeringsphincter.你居然嘲笑括約肌\Youmockthesphincter括約肌可是人體的一組肌肉\butthesphincterisaclassofmuscle沒有的話人類沒法存活的哦\withoutwhichhumanbeingscouldn'tsurvive.人體內(nèi)共有超過50種\Thereareover50differentsphincters不同的括約肌\inthehumanbody.你能叫出多少\Howmanycanyouname?我錯了這就是一霹靂游俠沒說的\Iwaswrong--thisisexactlylikeKnightRider.你大概會對另一個游戲感興趣\Perhapsyou'dbeinterestedinadifferentgame.沒興趣\No.這張照片是在1911年\Thisisaphotographofthe1911召開的輻射和量子理論索爾瓦會議\SolvayConferenceonthetheoryofradiationandquanta.我PS了幾處不該存在的東西\UsingPhotoshop,I'veintroducedafewanachronisms.看看你能不能找出所有24處\Seeifyoucanspotall24.我先給你第一個提示好了\I'llgiveyouthefirstone.居里夫人不該帶著電子表\MadameCurieshouldnotbewearingadigitalwatch.你繼續(xù)吧\Andgo.\an8益智游戲節(jié)目《冒險》的主題曲夠了拜拜\That'sit.Bye-bye.嚇死你\Bazinga.我有更高權限的開關\Ihaveanoverrideswitch.我差點被你害死了\Ialmostdied!而我仍安然無恙地坐在床上\AndI'msafeandsoundinbed.現(xiàn)在再看誰是瘋子\Who'scrazynow?我還是會說你\I'mstillgoingtogowithyou.你好霍斯金斯教授\Hello,ProfessorHoskins.很高興見到你敏迪\Nicetoseeyou,Mindy.早上好[日語]中村博士\And<i>konnichiwa,Dr.Nakamura.</i>很遺憾那幫瑞典佬推翻了你的理論\SorrytheSwedesdisprovedyourtheory.萊納德我的門\Leonard,mydoor.你的門怎么了\Whataboutit?乖給哥開個門\Bealambandopenitforme.為嘛有啥問題嗎\Why?What'stheproblem?你以為你難住我了對嗎\Youthinkyouhavemestymied,don'tyou?沒有啊我覺得難住你的是門把手\No,Ithinkadoorknobhasyoustymied.哦看啊萊納德和R2-D-Bag[代指《星戰(zhàn)》里的R2-D2機器人]\Oh,look,it'sLeonardandR2-D-Bag.\an8《星戰(zhàn)》里R2-D2機器人這里D-bag是douchebag[蠢貨]的縮寫這笑話是我想出來的我昨晚給你講的\That'smyjoke.Itolditlastnight.你不能隨便剽竊好吧\Youcan'tjustuseit.拉杰乖替哥開下門\Raj,bealambandopenthedoorforme.好的\Oh,sure.他真乖\He'salamb.你不乖\You'renot.我好乖哦\I'malamb.這一切多美好啊\Isn'tthisnice?在享受同伴感情的同時\Thepleasuresoffellowshipandcamaraderie又不必忍受你們污濁呼吸對我皮膚的傷害\withouthavingtotolerateyourgermybreathonmyskin.要我說咱們把他送到塔圖因星球上\IsaywejusttakehimtoTatooine把他賣給爪哇人吧[《星戰(zhàn)》情節(jié)]\andsellhimtosomeJawas.第二次了老兄\That'stwo,dude.寫你自己的笑話去\Writeyourownjokes.哎呦欸\Oh,great.嗨我叫佩妮今晚為你們服務\Hi,I'mPenny,I'llbeyourwaitress.你干嘛還要作自我介紹啊\Whyareyouintroducingyourself?不管怎么樣我寧愿\I'dratherpeoplenotknow大家都不知道我跟你們之前有任何聯(lián)系\Ihaveanypriorconnectiontoyouwhatsoever.你能介紹一下今晚有什么特色菜嗎\Canyoutellmethespecialsthisevening?謝爾頓我不為你服務\Sheldon,I'mnotwaitingonyou.當然了\Obviously.你還沒給我倒水呢\Idon'tevenhavewateryet.因為你不在這里\Becauseyou'renothere.你這是對遠程遙控人員的歧視\That'sdiscriminationagainsttheotherwiselocated.我要去找你的領導[也有比你高的意思]\I'mgoingtohavetogooveryourhead.經(jīng)理經(jīng)理在嗎\Manager...manager.天啊快看那是誰\Oh,Lord,lookwhoitis.那是斯蒂夫·沃茲尼亞克嗎[蘋果公司創(chuàng)始人之一]\IsthatSteveWozniak?我猜沒錯\Ithinkitis.神奇而偉大的沃茲啊\TheGreatandPowerfulWoz.佩妮斯蒂夫·沃茲尼亞克\Penny,SteveWozniakwas可是蘋果電腦公司的創(chuàng)始人之一呢\oneofthecofoundersofAppleComputer.-他和斯蒂夫·喬布斯一起創(chuàng)辦了...-沒錯\-HeandSteveJobsstartedit...-Yeah我知道他是誰我看過《與星共舞》\Iknowwhoheis.Iwatch<i>DancingwiththeStars.</i>\an8斯蒂夫·沃茲尼亞克曾參加過該節(jié)目我得去和他聊聊\Imust