續(xù)寫(xiě)技巧公開(kāi)課動(dòng)作鏈（給爺爺?shù)亩Y物）

動(dòng)作鏈構(gòu)造大法高考英語(yǔ)讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)教學(xué)課件

讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)的寫(xiě)作過(guò)程中，成功的動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)，可以交代人物的身份、地位，可以反映人物心理活動(dòng)的進(jìn)程，可以表現(xiàn)人物的性格特征。

相反，空洞、籠統(tǒng)的描寫(xiě)會(huì)使內(nèi)容缺乏生動(dòng)性，使人物形象不豐滿。人物的動(dòng)作或簡(jiǎn)單，或復(fù)雜，都不是一下子就能完成的，細(xì)心觀察都能捕捉到最能體現(xiàn)人物特征的慢鏡頭。因此，在描寫(xiě)動(dòng)作時(shí)，同學(xué)們要學(xué)會(huì)細(xì)化動(dòng)作，把動(dòng)作過(guò)程分解成一連串細(xì)微的動(dòng)作，形成動(dòng)作鏈，寫(xiě)出動(dòng)作的連貫性，這樣才能使描寫(xiě)具有畫(huà)面感，使人物更立體。舉個(gè)例子，何為構(gòu)造動(dòng)作鏈？我們先看一句高考樣題范文。He

stopped

thetaxi,

jumped

inwiththesuitcaseand

told

thedriver,“Gotothepolicestation,please.”這句話的意思是：他攔下了車(chē)，拿著箱子跳進(jìn)了車(chē)?yán)?，然后?duì)司機(jī)說(shuō)，“請(qǐng)到警察局去?！?/p>

其實(shí)，這句話只是描寫(xiě)了“上車(chē)”的動(dòng)作，然而通過(guò)拆解，細(xì)致地展現(xiàn)了一個(gè)動(dòng)作下的組成部分。其本質(zhì)是避免簡(jiǎn)單粗暴的使用一個(gè)動(dòng)詞概括整個(gè)動(dòng)作，而是用2-3個(gè)動(dòng)詞組合進(jìn)行描述。用一個(gè)公式進(jìn)行總結(jié)以上例句，如下:上車(chē)=攔車(chē)+上車(chē)+告訴目的地再比如2017年高考真題中的一個(gè)優(yōu)秀范文句子。

Shewould

getoff

thecarexcitedly,

laughing

and

dancing

around.這句話的意思是：她會(huì)興奮地下車(chē)，又笑又跳。這句講的是一個(gè)比較粗線條的媽媽?zhuān)瑒?dòng)作描寫(xiě)完整地描述了這位媽媽下車(chē)時(shí)及下車(chē)后的表現(xiàn)，即：下車(chē)=下車(chē)+笑+跳Part

1動(dòng)作三連結(jié)構(gòu)（A,BandC結(jié)構(gòu)）第1句：“男孩們跳入湖中嬉戲”想一想：跳入湖中，這個(gè)動(dòng)作前面或后面會(huì)有哪些動(dòng)作？跳入湖里嬉戲=

沖向湖邊

+

脫掉衣服

+

跳入水中

Theboys

rushed

excitedlytothelake,

tookoff

theirclothesand

jumpedinto

thewater.第2句，“她抱住兒子”想一想：抱住兒子，這個(gè)動(dòng)作前面或后面會(huì)有哪些動(dòng)作？

抱住兒子=

沖向前

+

蹲下

+

一把抱住She

dashed

forward,

knelt

downand

gathered

herson

into

herarms.第3句，“這個(gè)歌手唱歌”想一想：歌手唱歌，這個(gè)動(dòng)作前面或后面會(huì)有哪些動(dòng)作？

歌手唱歌=

掃視觀眾+

深吸一口氣+開(kāi)始演唱

Thesinger

glancedat

theaudience,

took

adeepbreathandbeganto

sing.Part2非謂語(yǔ)結(jié)構(gòu)第1個(gè)例句，“老人靜坐”老人靜坐=坐在夕陽(yáng)下+

看報(bào)紙+

聽(tīng)廣播第一種句子模式：-ing現(xiàn)在分詞,凸顯同一對(duì)象同時(shí)發(fā)生不同的動(dòng)作。Theoldmansatunderthesunset,

reading

thenewspaperand

listening

totheradio.第二種句子模式：havingdone表現(xiàn)動(dòng)作先后關(guān)系第2個(gè)例句，“沒(méi)有買(mǎi)到票”想一想：“買(mǎi)票”這個(gè)動(dòng)作前面或后面會(huì)有哪些動(dòng)作？

沒(méi)有買(mǎi)到票=

排了三小時(shí)隊(duì)+

被告知票賣(mài)完了

Havingqueued

for3hours,he

wastold

thatthetickethadbeensoldout.

第三種句子模式.-ed過(guò)去分詞凸顯被動(dòng)

第3個(gè)例句，“孩子們哭了”

想一想：“哭”這個(gè)動(dòng)作前面或后面會(huì)有哪些動(dòng)作？或者因?yàn)槭裁丛蜃尯⒆涌蓿汉⒆觽兛蘖?被這個(gè)故事深深感動(dòng)了，于是開(kāi)始(setout)哭了(weep)

[wi?p]起來(lái),并用手擦眼淚（wipe)

[wa?p]。Deeply

moved

bythestory,thechildrenset

out

toweep

,

wipingtheirtearswiththeirlittlehands.Part3

高考真題句中的動(dòng)作鏈2016.10浙江卷1.她吃了一些漿果，然后沿著小溪走著，希望能找到一個(gè)合適的地方來(lái)引導(dǎo)直升機(jī)。Sheatesomeberriesandthenwalkedalongthestream,hopingtofindasuitableplacetoguidethehelicopter.2017.6浙江卷2.看到汽車(chē)消失了，麥克和他的朋友們騎上了自行車(chē)，繼續(xù)前往阿拉斯加。Seeingthecardisappear,MacandhisfriendsgotonthebicyclesandcontinuedheadingforAlaska.2017.6浙江卷3.他們跳下自行車(chē)，拿出隨身攜帶的刀，一寸一寸地走近狼。Theyjumpedofftheirbicycles,tookouttheknivestheyhadtakenwithandapproachedthewolfinchbyinch.2018.6浙江卷4.我和爸爸向群山走去（hat,horse，head)MydadandIputonournewcowboyhats,gotonourhorses,andheadedslowlytowardsthemountains.我和爸爸戴上新的牛仔帽，騎上馬，慢慢地向群山走去。2020.1浙江卷5.他擁抱著父母他站起來(lái)，擁抱著父母，微笑著，試圖不讓自己的情緒戰(zhàn)勝(getthebetterofsb.)他。Hestoodup,huggedhisparents,andsmiled,tryingnottolethisemotions(情緒)getthebetterofhim.續(xù)寫(xiě)練習(xí)AGiftforGrandpaAGIFTFORGRANDPASummervacationwascoming.JackandhisbrotherBerlinwerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofvisitingtheirgrandparentsagain.Thebigdaycameatlast.Afterthehappyfamilygotready,theysetoutforthegrandparents'eagerly.Ontheway,thebrotherswereexcitedlytalkingaboutthefuntheyhadwithgrandparents.Alittlebluehousewithatallwhitechimneyfinallyappeared.BehindthepropertywastheforestcarryingtheirgoodmemorieswithGrandpa.Theyarrivedatthedriveway,attheendofwhichGrandmawaswaitingforthemjoyfully.JackandBerlineachgaveGrandmaabighugandthenswepttothelivingroom,shoutingexcitedly“Grandpa,weareback!”Seeinghisgrandsons,Grandpawaswildwithjoyandtriedtogetupwithallhisstrengthfromthechairbutinvain.Ahelplessexpressionflashedonhisface.Grandmaexplainedthathishealthwasdecliningrapidlyandmaybecouldn'tstanduponhisownforever.ButGrandpadeclaredstubbornly(倔強(qiáng)地),

“Ican!”Certainly,hewasstuckinhisboyishway.Mumandgrandparentswerehappytomeetagainafteralongtime.Theysattogetherandchattedaboutwhathappenedrecently.Thebrothersweresoonboredwithadultconversation,wentoutandwanderedintotheforest.Talltreesstretcheduptotheheavenswithlargebranchescrossingeachother,whileyoungonesrosestraightlikesoldiers.Grandpawasonceagreatexplorerfullofwisdom.Hecouldtellwherethebirdscamefromonlybytheircallsandsongs.Thetrees,birds,lizards,lotsofbugs...HowmanymerrymomentstheyspentwithGrandpainthekingdom!ButnowGrandpacouldn'tgetup.Thismadethemworried.“We'dthinkoutawaytocheerhimup.”Jacksaid.“Grandpaisabirdlover,andwecancatchhimabird.”Berlinsuggested.“Buthehatesbirdsbeingcaged!”Jackshookhishead.ThenabrightideacametoJack'smind.“Whynotmakeacane(拐杖)outofayoungtree!”Activity1:ReadforThemeandsixelementsThemeWhenWhereWhoWhatWhyLovefromkidsSummervacation

①：Grandparents'house②：theforestbehindthepropertyGrandpaJackBerilinJackandBerlinwantedtomakeacaneforGrandpatocheerGrandpaupHow？？？Activity2:ReadforPlotsandEmotions情節(jié)&情感beginningexpositionclimaxendresolutiondevelopmentexcitedTheGrandsonsvisitedGrandpainSummervacation

Grandpatriedtogetupbutinvain

joyfulbuthelplessGrandsonswentoutintotheforestandrecalledmerrymomentswithGrandpamerrybutworriedGrandsonsthoughtoutawaytocheerGrandpaup---makeacaneoutofayoungtreeinspiredBerlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.??Activity3:ReadforCharacterAnalysis

人物性格分析GrandpaGrandsonslovingdeterminedexploringnature-lovingwiselovingdevotedcreativeconsiderateActivity4:RaisingthequestionsThenabrightideacametoJack'smind.“Whynotmakeacane(拐杖)outofayoungtree!”P(pán)ara1：Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.寫(xiě)作情節(jié)構(gòu)思：

Hoedidtheycarryoutthegoodidea?Whatdidtheydonext?Howdidtheyfeelafterthat?Activity4:RaisingthequestionsPara2：JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.寫(xiě)作情節(jié)構(gòu)思：Howdidgrandpafeelafterseeingthecane?Didgrandpagetupfromthechairsuccessfully?Andhow?Activity5:WritingMaterials1.當(dāng)他們選擇了一棵中等大小的小樹(shù)時(shí)，他們就把它砍倒，然后用刀砍掉樹(shù)枝和皮。Themomentthey______ayoungtreeofmoderatesize,they____________andthen__________________________withaknife.2.為了讓把手感覺(jué)舒適，他們用軟布包了起來(lái)。Tomakethehandlefeelcomfortable,they____________________aroundit.

制作拐杖小情節(jié)chosecutitdownremovedthebranchesandskins

wrappedasoftclothActivity5:WritingMaterials3.看著那根花哨的拐杖，爺爺高興極了，臉上的笑容像鉆石一樣閃閃發(fā)光。他滿懷深情地感謝孫子們的禮物。Staringatthefancycane,Grandpawassohappy________________________________________.Hethankedhisgrandsonsforthewonderfulgift_____________.

收到禮物與高興

withsmilesonhisfaceshininglikeadiamondwithaffectionSamples1

Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.TheysetaboutmakingacaneforGrandpaimmediately.Themomenttheychoseayoungtreeofmoderatesize,theycutitdownandthenremovedthebranchesandskinswithaknife.Withasmallwoodfastenedonthetopasahandle,afashionablecanecameintobeing.Tomakethehandlefeelcomfortable,theywrappedasoftclotharoundit.Berlin,fullofinnovativeideas,carvedwordsGiftToGrandpaonthecane.Whatacoolcane!

制作拐杖的動(dòng)作鏈with復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)表伴隨Samples1

JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.Staringatthefancycane,Grandpawassohappywithsmilesonhisfaceshininglikeadiamond.Hethankedhisgrandsonsforthewonderfulgiftwithaffection,“Youbrothersarereallygreatcreators!”Supportinghimselfwiththecane,Grandpacouldn'tcontainhimselfandwenttotheforeststepbystep.Watchingthetreesandgrassaround,heemotionallysaidhewouldforevercherishthefondmomentstheyweretogetherintheforest.高興的心理描寫(xiě)拐杖發(fā)揮作用，爺爺來(lái)到森林場(chǎng)景復(fù)現(xiàn)，共同回憶甜蜜時(shí)刻Samples2

Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.

(銜接句1)Withthetoolsfetchedfromthebakdyard,theyreturnedtotheforesttosearchforanapproriateyoungtreeforacane.（準(zhǔn)備工作）情節(jié)發(fā)展：Hardlyhadtheyselectedonewhen

theygetstartedwiththeirBIGPROJET.（迫切的心情）Jack,theelderbrother,tookonthejobofcuttingitdown,whileBerlin,whowasyoungerandmorecreative,wasresponbilefordecoration.（分工合作）Hardasitmightseemtothem,theyneverfailedtomakeit.（困難但不放棄）Afterwhatseemedalongtime,anelegantandtoughcaneappeared.（成功）

（銜接句2）Bothofthemweremorethansatisfiedwiththeirworkandcouldn'twaittorushhome.(沖到家+遞給爺爺)JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.Samples2

JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.（銜接句3）Theinstanthesawit,heknewwhatitwasallabout.（遞+看到+知道一切）情節(jié)發(fā)展：Deeplytouchedbythegrandsons'gift,hetookitwithgreatexcitement（語(yǔ)言協(xié)同心理描寫(xiě)）andknockedonthegroundseveraltimes.（感動(dòng)+激動(dòng)+接過(guò)+試用）Obviously,heattemptedtostandupwithit.(拐杖應(yīng)發(fā)揮作用+試圖站立)Withtheencouragementofthetwobrothers,hestruggledtogetup,rootedonthegroundlikeadeterminedsoldier（鼓勵(lì)+站立+修辭協(xié)同，比喻突出性格）.結(jié)尾句：Acheerfulandjoyfulexpression（語(yǔ)言協(xié)同心理描寫(xiě)）,whichJackandBerlinhadexpectedoftheirGrandpa,flashedonhisface.（沖突解決）升華：Itwasatthatmomentth