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2025屆新高考英語沖刺復(fù)習(xí)讀后續(xù)寫指導(dǎo)Activity1從前有座山,山里有座廟,廟里有個老和尚,老和尚在給小和尚講故事,故事講的是……Onceuponatime,therewasamountainInthemountaintherewasatempleInthetempletherewasanoldmonkTheoldmonkwastellingayoungmonkastoryThestorywentlikethis….linking銜接Watchthevideoclipandfindoutthecharacteristics.FiveElementswhat(Whatwasthemainidea?)how(Howdidthestorydevelop?)wherewhenwho(Whowerethemaincharacters?)Howtogetthewritingclues?Activity2312構(gòu)思法Activity33Para.1(sentence1+sentence2)Para.2(sentence3)1Para.2:
sentence4(1topicsublimationsentence)2填補2段續(xù)寫段的中間部分Activity4Passage1AMother'sDaySurpriseThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother'sDay.Howpleasedandproudmotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.TheyplannedtomakeFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknewexactlywhattodo.Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.Thepairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.TheyputsomericeintoapotofwaterandleftittoboilwhiletheymadetheFrenchtoast.Jeffbroketwoeggsintoaplateandaddedinsomemilk.Jennafoundthebreadandputtwoslicesintotheeggmixture.Next,Jeffturnedonthesecondstoveburnertoheatupthefryingpan.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime,sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute,theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully,Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff'shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear!Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.1.who2.when3.where4.how5.whatJenna&Jeff(twins),mother,fatheronMother'sDay(at6a.m.)athomeThetwinswantedtosurprisetheirmomonMother’sDay,sothey
butitwasamess.Thetwins
forMother'sDay→Theymadethe
amess→Their
cametohelp→Thebreakfastwasreadyfor
preparedbreakfastkitchenfathermompreparedbreakfastFiveElementsTable1Paragraph1:Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,theirfatherappeared.
Paragraph2:Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.
He
helpedtomakebreakfast.Seeingtheirdissapointedlook,hetoldthemtocleanupthekitchenwhilehehelpedthemtomakebreakfastformother.Thebreakfast
wasready.
TheFrenchtoastandchickenporridgewereready.She
wassurprisedandtouched.Sosurprisedandtouchedwasshethattearsstreameddownhercheeks.Itwasnotonlythebreakfast,buttheloveofthechildrenforher.Sentence1Sentence2Sentence3Sentence4Thinking思13minsDiscussion議5minsActivity1Achaingame(主題接龍)刮一刮親情類kinship刮一刮刮一刮助人類kindness勞動類labourActivity2
Holidaysarenotnecessarilyforfunorrest.Doingsomethingmeaningfulcanalsogainspecialpleasure.Whenthefinalbellrang,thestudentswereremindedthattherewasnoschoolonMonday-theLaborDay.“Enjoyyourextradayoff.”saidtheteachertoherclass.AnextradayoffunsuitedKaylajustfine,shelovedbreaks.Shewantedtogoouttoplaywithherfriends.WhentheschoolbusdroppedKaylaoff,sheranintothehousehappily.“Howwasschool,Kayla?”askedhermom.“Itwasgreat,Mom.IamexcitedaboutnoschoolonMonday.”“Youjuststartedbacktoschooltwoweeksago.Alreadyinneedofabreak,huh?”askedKayla’smomwithalaugh.Kaylasleptinthenextmorning.Saturdaywasherfavoritedayoftheweek.Itrainedmostoftheday,soKaylaenjoyedplayingvideogamesinside.OnSunday,herfriendscameoverandtheyplayedbasketballforseveralhours.ThenitwasLaborDay,youknow,theextradayoffthatKaylawassolookingforwardto.ButKaylawasawakenedearlythatmorningbyherdad.HetoldKaylathatinhonorofLaborDay,thefamilywouldbecleaningbothinsideandoutsidethehouse.Kaylacouldn’tbelieveit.Thiswasaholiday.Adaywhenshewassupposedtobeenjoyingfreshlysqueezedlemonadewhileplayinginhertreehouse.AsKaylawipedhereyes,shebegantowonderifthiswasjustabaddream.“Kayla,yourbreakfastisready.Wehavealotofworktodotoday.Let’sgetamoveon,”saidKayla’smom.Asshesatdownatthekitchentable,Kaylaaskedherparents,“Areyouseriousaboutworkingtoday?Isn’tLaborDayaholiday?”“Yes,Kayla.Itis,”repliedherdad.“ButyourmomandIthoughtworkinghardtodaywouldmakeyouappreciatewhyLaborDaywasobservedinthefirstplace.”Passage21.who2.when3.where4.how5.whatKayla,hermom,herdadonLaborDayathomeKaylawantedtoenjoyherholiday,butherparentstoldherthattheywouldcleanthehouseon
.playthehouseLaborDayKaylawasexcitedandwantedtogooutto
onLaborDay→Herparentstoldherthattheywouldcleanbothinsideandoutside
→ShedidsomechorestogetherFiveElementsTable2Paragraph1:Atfirst,Kaylafeltdisappointedatherparents’planfortheholiday.
Paragraph2:Butthingsbegantochange
asshewasdoingthechores.
Shewaseagertogoouttoplay.Shewassoeagertohangoutwithherfriendsthatshewasunwillingtocleanthehouse.Asenseofdissatisfactionseizedherwhenshemoppedthefloorandwashedthedishes.Shemoppedthefloorandwashedthedishes.disappointed→interested/excitedWhilewateringflowers,shefoundhowbeautifultheywere!1.IrealizedwhyLaborDaywasobservedinthefirstplace./2.Asthesayinggoes,nopains,nogains.Sentence1Sentence2Sentence3Sentence4Usethemethodof3+1+2tofinishthecontinuationwriting(sentence1+1topicsublimationsentence)
At7:30,Dadwasagainshoutingatmetogetup,urgingmetoputonsomeclothesthatweresuitableformetowalkaroundonsuchahotday.Iasked,“WhyshouldIdothat?Iwon’tbegoingout.Ihavealotofbusinesstodealwith.”Lookingmedirectlyintheeyes,DadtoldmesomethingaboutavillagecalledGiveKidstheWorld.Inthevillage,therewerealotofchildrenwhohadacertainseriousillnessordisability.
Sentence1主題句Astheirsonordaughter,whatcanwedoforourparentsonLabourDay?makethebedcookamealwaterflowerswashclothesmopthefloorcleanthewindow閱讀以下材料,完成寫作任務(wù)1
Jatin
and
his
younger
sister,Neha,
lived
with
their
parents
in
a
poor
neighborhood.Their
mother
was
very
sick
and
their
father
was
struggling
to
find
a
job,
and
they
had
only
a
little
money
with
which
to
buy
food.
As
they
had
not
paidthe
rentfor
several
months,the
landlord
was
breathingdown
their
necks(盯著他們).2Oneday,JatintookNeha'sshoestoashoerepairmantobefixed.buthelostthemonthewayhome.Itwasn'tuntilhegothomethatherealizedhehadlosttheshoes.Hewasafraidthathisparentswouldbeangryanddisappointed,sohebeggedhissistertokeepitsecret.NehaagreedandthetwodecidedtoshareJatin'srunningshoes.Neha'sschoolhourswereinthemorning,soshewouldwearthemfirst.Afterschool,shewouldrushbackandgivethemtoJatin.Hecouldthenruntohisschool,whichbeganintheafternoon.Althoughheranasfastashecould,Jatinoftenarrivedlateandwaswarnedytheschool.3.
Along
distance
race
wasgoingtobeheldforboysin
the
city.
When
Jatinlearned
that
the
third
prize
was
a
new
pair
of
shoes,
he
decided
to
take
part.
He
ran
home
excitedly
and
promised
his
sister
that
he
wouldwin
her
the
new
shoes.4.
The
day
of
the
race
arrived.
Jatin
had
a
strong
start,but
halfway
through
the
race
he
began
to
get
tired
and
his
legs
began
to
ache.
Getting
more
and
more
exhausted(筋疲力盡),he
thought
only
of
Neha
and
his
promise
to
her.
Dreaming
of
the
new
shoes
he
would
win
for
his
sister
gave
him
strength,and
he
stayed
right
behind
the
two
fastest
runners,determined
to
finish
third.
Suddenly,as
the
finish
line
drew
near,
another
runner
collided(碰撞)with
Jatinfrom
behind
and
Jatin
crashed
to
the
ground.續(xù)寫兩段開頭:Jatinlookedupandsawtheotherboysrushingahead.____________________________________________________________________________________________________Filledwithpleasure,Jatinwalkedhomequickly.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
世界著名認(rèn)知科學(xué)家哈佛大學(xué)心理系教授斯蒂芬·平克曾說過:“寫作之難,在于把網(wǎng)狀的思考,用樹狀結(jié)構(gòu),體現(xiàn)在線性展開的語句里?!北敬卫m(xù)寫雖有進(jìn)步,但也暴露出些許問題。
續(xù)寫要讀寫并重;續(xù)寫不是另起爐灶;續(xù)寫要注意句子數(shù)量的分配。現(xiàn)從以下幾方面梳理:一、邏輯問題續(xù)寫邏輯可以說是個多視角邏輯,囊括了1、原文的邏輯銜接;2、段首句的邏輯銜接;3、續(xù)寫內(nèi)容之間的邏輯銜接二、結(jié)尾問題我們可以把結(jié)尾粗略分成三結(jié)尾:1、哲理性結(jié)尾;2、自然而然的結(jié)尾;3、聚焦景色結(jié)尾三、選詞方面----用詞方面必須注意幾個問題:1、你的語句可讀性強嗎?2、語句用詞是易懂的還是晦澀的?3、要學(xué)會名詞形式的活用或者說能否找到一個足夠強大的動詞,讓動詞獨立起作用,從而省略掉副詞。4、用具體代替抽象(Verbs
drives
sentences
whereas
nouns
slow
them
down)例如:
bridge
---連接,溝通The
parents
are
trying
to
bridge
the
generation
with
their
children.
flood---充滿My
box
is
flooded
with
junk
mail.father--
為人父(to
beget
a
child)He
has
fathered
two
children
before
his
remarriage.
summer---去某地度假we
have
summered.friend--交朋友,加為好友May
I
friend
you
?類似的用法還有很多,如:cup,boss,box,brief,pride,carpet,cap,picture,brave,ship等原文信息知多少?poorlostshoeswaswarnedraceforthirdprize,but...disqualifytheawardgotthethirdlove1
Jatin
and
his
younger
sister,Neha,
lived
with
their
parents
in
a
poor
neighborhood.Their
mother
was
very
sick
and
their
father
was
struggling
to
find
a
job,
and
they
had
only
a
little
money
with
which
to
buy
food.
As
they
had
not
paidthe
rentfor
several
months,the
landlord
was
breathingdown
their
necks(盯著他們).Backgroundinformation1---窮1.住在貧民區(qū),母親生病,父親沒有工作;2.有很少的錢,不夠支付房租,只夠買食物;3.從以上兩點,我們可以判斷,他們不是一般的窮,根本沒有能力再拿錢去做別的事情。所以有些同學(xué)續(xù)寫的第二段,說父母還幫買鞋子的事,絕對是瞎扯淡,不符合原文邏輯!2Oneday,JatintookNeha'sshoestoashoerepairmantobefixed.buthelostthemonthewayhome.Itwasn'tuntilhegothomethatherealizedhehadlosttheshoes.Hewasafraidthathisparentswouldbeangryanddisappointed,sohebeggedhissistertokeepitsecret.NehaagreedandthetwodecidedtoshareJatin'srunningshoes.Neha'sschoolhourswereinthemorning,soshewouldwearthemfirst.Afterschool,shewouldrushbackandgivethemtoJatin.Hecouldthenruntohisschool,whichbeganintheafternoon.Althoughheranasfastashecould,Jatinoftenarrivedlateandwaswarnedbytheschool.Backgroundinformation2---禍不單行,也是加深了下一段想?yún)⒓颖荣惖钠惹行枰?.
Along
distance
race
wasgoingtobeheldforboysin
the
city.
When
Jatinlearned
that
the
third
prize
was
a
new
pair
of
shoes,
he
decided
to
take
part.
He
ran
home
excitedly
and
promised
his
sister
that
he
wouldwin
her
the
new
shoes.Backgroundinformation3——妹妹知情,哥哥要去比賽1.前文提到哥哥把妹妹的鞋子弄丟了。為了獲得鞋子,哥哥肯定是要參加比賽的。2.哥哥向妹妹承諾,一定要贏得這雙鞋子。所以妹妹是知情的。所以,有些同學(xué)后邊續(xù)寫妹妹問哥哥這雙新鞋子是哪里來的,也是完全不符合原文邏輯的。4.
The
day
of
the
race
arrived.
Jatin
had
a
strong
start,but
halfway
through
the
race
he
began
to
get
tired
and
his
legs
began
to
ache.
Getting
more
and
more
exhausted(筋疲力盡),he
thought
only
of
Neha
and
his
promise
to
her.
Dreaming
of
the
new
shoes
he
would
win
for
his
sister
gave
him
strength,and
he
stayed
right
behind
the
two
fastest
runners,determined
to
finish
third.
Suddenly,as
the
finish
line
drew
near,
another
runner
collided(碰撞)with
Jatinfrom
behind
and
Jatin
crashed
to
the
ground.Backgroundinformation4——第三名化為泡影Backgroundinformation4——第三名化為泡影?1.從tired和ache以及碰撞摔倒可知有伏筆,Jatin是不可能一開始就如愿以償,獲得第三名的。大部分同學(xué)第一段續(xù)寫,幾乎都寫Jatin忍著疼痛沖刺,終于獲得第三名,顯然,不符合本段內(nèi)容隱含的邏輯(如果能自圓其說,也可以接受,但分不高)2.正因為他被撞倒了,才有了故事的轉(zhuǎn)折點。這需要我們明白一件事:我們都應(yīng)該樹立正確的三觀,要相信比賽的公平公正。對方撞人,肯定屬于違規(guī)行為,被取消獲獎資格,第三名自然落到Jatin身上。當(dāng)然這也是Jatin萬萬沒有想到的,所以他也算因禍得福,運氣不錯。3.有些同學(xué)第一段續(xù)寫提到,那個撞倒Jatin的選手,跟他道歉,并愿意把第三名讓給他,也把鞋子給他。請問:比賽這么隨意嗎?對方撞倒你就是想超越你,他會主動給你?另外,獲獎要光明正大,這種名不正言不順的行為,你會接受嗎?S1:
Jatin
looked
up
and
saw
the
other
boys
rushing
ahead.
He
felt
too
miserable
and
drowsy.
The
judge
came
to
Jatinand
asked,
"how
are
you?"
Can
I
help
you?
Jatinsmiled
and
shook
his
head.
He
stood
up
with
all
his
strength.
With
their
encouragement,Justin
ran
to
the
end.
He
won
the
fifth
place.Filled
with
pleasure,
Jatin
walked
home
quickly.
Jatin
said
to
his
sister:
he
broke
his
promise.He
was
about
to
talk
about
the
experience
of
the
race
when
judges
and
journalists
entered.
They
said
Jatin
won
the
third
place
because
the
boy
bumping
into
him
broke
the
rules.
He
felt
excited
at
the
good
news.
But
the
boy
didn't
even
apologize
for
what
he
did.
In
the
end,
he
won
a
new
pair
of
shoes.下劃線句子顯示此學(xué)生的段落續(xù)接存在邏輯問題。S1明顯在第一段結(jié)尾和第二段開頭段落鏈接時出現(xiàn)問題:Jatin
得了第五名,沒有贏得心心念的鞋子,他怎么會高興呢?和第二段開頭Filled
with
pleasure,
Jatin
walked
home
quickly有斷點,沒有起到承上啟下的過渡作用。另外,第二段才提到Jatin獲得第三名,不符合故事發(fā)展的順序邏輯了。S2
:Jatin
looked
up
and
saw
the
other
boys
rushing
ahead.
He
was
surprised
and
scared,
but
he
didn't
think
so
much.
He
only
thought
about
Neha
andhis
promise
to
her.
He
stood
up
soon
and
caught
up
with
the
boy
in
front
of
him.
Dad
encouraged
him
to
run
forward
again
and
be
full
of
energy.
Everyone
praised
him
and
cheered
him
on.
He
is
very
cute.
And
he
is
getting
closer
and
closer
to
third
place.
He
showed
his
youthful
perseverance.
Luckily
he
made
it.
The
sun
illuminated
his
bright
smile.無效信息比較多S3:Justin
looked
up
and
saw
the
other
boys
rushing
ahead.In
the
meanwhile,
he
was
filled
with
despair.When
he
thought
of
his
promise
to
his
sister,
he
ignored
the
pain
in
his
leg.
He
stood
up
quickly
and
ran
desperately.Unfortunately,
he
failed
to
get
to
third
place
and
he
cried
sadly.Unexpectedly,the
referee
gave
him
the
new
pair
of
shoes
because
of
his
will
of
iron
.All
smiled
happily.段落是一個語義鏈,段內(nèi)的句子是其中的一節(jié)鏈,一節(jié)必須扣住一節(jié),才能形成連貫。每一個句子都要包含一些和上一句相似或有關(guān)的東西,才能借此扣住連接起來。由此段落銜接可從以下幾個點進(jìn)行縝密的織網(wǎng)構(gòu)思與梳理:1、段與段之間的銜接依靠上一段最后一句和下一段第一句的意思上的關(guān)聯(lián);2、段與段之間的銜接依靠各段中主題句思想的關(guān)聯(lián);3、段與段之間的銜接依靠全文中心思想來串聯(lián);4、段與段之間的銜接靠過渡段的承接或轉(zhuǎn)折。
這種過渡段主要用于一個意思和另一個意思的轉(zhuǎn)折。一、邏輯問題
續(xù)寫邏輯可以說是個多視角邏輯,囊括了1、原文的邏輯銜接;2、段首句的邏輯銜接;3、續(xù)寫內(nèi)容之間的邏輯銜接二、結(jié)尾問題
我們可以把結(jié)尾粗略分成三結(jié)尾:1、哲理性結(jié)尾;2、自然而然的結(jié)尾;3、聚焦景色結(jié)尾。Filled
with
pleasure,Justinwalked
home
quickly.At
this
moment,
he
was
holding
the
new
shoes
in
his
arms
and
constantly
touching
his
hands,
he
had
forgotten
the
pain
caused
by
the
injury.
When
he
got
home,
his
sister
was
shocked
when
he
saw
the
injury
and
quickly
found
the
medicine
kit
to
treat.
In
the
face
of
the
pain
,
Neha
cried
and
was
moved
by
her
brother’s
actions.
She
hugged
Jatin
and
didn’t
calm
down
for
a
long
time.S3的結(jié)尾屬自然結(jié)尾:即順著所需知識的自然發(fā)展,以它的必然結(jié)果做結(jié)尾,沒有套話?;乜圻@個學(xué)生的續(xù)寫,無論語篇,句式亦或是詞語使用上并沒有特別加分點,那么最好不使用自然結(jié)尾。美聯(lián)社國際寫作指導(dǎo)布魯斯·德席爾瓦說:”結(jié)尾是你把小說的主旨釘在讀者的記憶中并回想數(shù)天的最后一次機會?!碑?dāng)你努力向讀者描繪你的故事從何而來,也該用同樣的力量告訴他們故事將去往何處。用一個精彩的結(jié)尾把故事釘在讀者腦海,就像往平靜的水面扔下一個石子。漣漪所至,就是故事的魅力所在。如果以哲理性結(jié)尾,明顯續(xù)寫故事就在末端和讀者有了情感上的鏈接。哲理性結(jié)尾:用凝練客觀的語言表述,提升內(nèi)化文章中心思想,它即能夠使續(xù)寫故事具有思想含量又能夠饋贈讀者
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