老人帶孩子 父母應一周至少探一次

1、老人帶孩子 父母應一周至少探一次“聚焦兒童心理健康”系列專題 本期關鍵詞：隔代教育現(xiàn)在，雙方老人幫忙帶孩子，已經(jīng)成為一種非常普遍的現(xiàn)象。但心理專家擔心，如果在教育的問題上，老人和子女的觀點不能夠形成一致，幼兒在矛盾中間容易被“夾生”了，輕則有可能會產生焦慮情緒，重則會讓孩子變成“兩面派”在家一套，在外一套。5歲孩子睡覺前要先看門窗大連市心理醫(yī)院的王丹麗主任曾接診過這樣一位小患者，盡管當時他只有5歲，但已經(jīng)活脫脫地變成了一位“小大人”。原來，這個孩子每天晚上睡覺前總有一個習慣，那就是一定要看看門窗是否都關好了，而且只有在確定關好了的情況下才會入睡。在老人看來，孩子的安全意識特別強。事實上，孩子的

2、這種表現(xiàn)在心理專家看來，有可能是強迫癥的一種表現(xiàn)。以孩子的年齡，他本來應該無憂無慮地沐浴在陽光下，卻平白無故地從老人那里“遺傳”了老年人的性格特點。這種情況，說明孩子安全感缺失。而王丹麗主任在問診中了解到，孩子自從出生后，因為父母平日工作較忙，多數(shù)時候都呆在爺爺奶奶家，有的時候甚至一個月都不來探望一次。王丹麗分析，孩子的表現(xiàn)除了受老人的影響外，與父愛母愛經(jīng)常缺失也有著很大的關系。專家細數(shù)隔代教育三大弊端根據(jù)近日一項全國范圍內的調查顯示：在北京，有70左右的孩子接受著隔代教育；在上海，目前0歲6歲孩子中有5060由祖輩教育。廣州接受隔代教育的孩子則占到總數(shù)的一半。全國大概有五成左右孩子接受著隔代

3、教育。我們已經(jīng)進入了一個隔代教育的時代。和年輕的父母相比，無論是身體狀態(tài)還是知識水平，老人往往存在不小的差距。因此在教育子女的問題上，和年輕人相比，就不可避免地存在著一些弊端。弊端1：心理年齡過早成熟。孩子長時間和老人生活在一起，其語言和行為往往都會受到影響，因為這其間孩子的模仿能力很強，因此很有可能會過早“繼承”一些老年特征。弊端2：不善于交往。由于老人多喜歡安靜，不喜歡運動和外出，同時又因為顧忌孩子的安全，總是把孩子看得緊緊的，這樣的教育環(huán)境，不利于孩子養(yǎng)成開闊的胸懷。弊端3：心理脆弱。老人撫養(yǎng)孩子，溺愛的情況非常普遍，很多事情都會包辦，長此下去，會使孩子養(yǎng)成凡事依賴的個性。另外，老人思想

4、固定化，行為模式化，這種周而復始、千篇一律的生活方式，也不利于孩子的成長。專家建議父母絕對不能當甩手掌柜“但我們并不能否定，很多老人帶出來的孩子一樣也非常優(yōu)秀。 ”王丹麗主任表示，在涉及教育的問題，因為老年人和子女往往存有代溝，許多觀點和教育方式并不一致，因此在方式方法上可能有沖突，孩子往往不知所措。豈不知，教育孩子時最怕有人管有人護。因此，對于年輕的父母而言，如果條件允許的話，孩子還是應該盡量和父母呆在一起。如果不得不采取隔代撫養(yǎng)，在涉及教育這一問題上，子女必須和老人進行詳細的溝通，爭取達成一致的觀點和看法，有些老人或年輕父母總以為自己的教育方法對頭，不愿意取長補短，這種態(tài)度是不明智的。其實

5、，在困惑時可以尋求心理醫(yī)生的幫助。另外，即便是把孩子放心地交給老人，父母也絕不能當甩手掌柜，不管再忙，每周最少也要去探望一次，多帶孩子出去玩玩。如果長期不探望，將來長大后和父母的溝通可能有問題。qcwa3ptgz7r4i30ka1dkaghn3xtkknbycudxqa7fhyi2chhi92tgkqcwa3ptgshls50clmtwn60eo8wgqv7xav2ohum32wgeauwydiawgmer4i30ka1dkaghn3xtkknbycudxqa7fhyi2chhi92tgkqcwa3ptgz7r4i30ka1dkagtgkqcwa3p tgz7r4i30ka1dkaghn3xt

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