




版權(quán)說(shuō)明:本文檔由用戶提供并上傳,收益歸屬內(nèi)容提供方,若內(nèi)容存在侵權(quán),請(qǐng)進(jìn)行舉報(bào)或認(rèn)領(lǐng)
文檔簡(jiǎn)介
TheHiddenSideofHappiness、Hurricanes,housefires,cancer,white-waterraftingaccidents,planecrashes,viciousattacksindarkalleyways.Nobodyasksforanyofit.Buttotheirsurprise,manypeoplefindthatenduringsuchaharrowingordealultimatelychangesthemforthebetter.Theirrefrainmightgosomethinglikethis:"Iwishithadn'thappened,butI'mabetterpersonforit."颶風(fēng)、房屋失火、癌癥、激流漂筏失事、墜機(jī)、昏暗小巷遭歹徒襲擊,沒(méi)人想找上這些事兒。但出人意料的是,很多人發(fā)現(xiàn)遭受這樣一次痛苦的磨難最終會(huì)使他們向好的方面轉(zhuǎn)變。他們可能都會(huì)這樣說(shuō):“我希望這事沒(méi)發(fā)生,但因?yàn)樗易兊酶昝懒??!眕erhapsbecausethey、Welovetohearthestoriesofpeoplewhohavebeentransformedbytheirtribulations,testifytoabonafidepsychologicaltruth,onethatsometimesperhapsbecausetheygetslostamidendlessreportsofdisaster:Thereisabuilt-incircumstances.Positivereactionstoprofoundlydisturbingexperiencesarenotlimitedtothetoughestorthebravest.Infact,roughlyhalfthepeoplewhostrugglewithadversitysayhumancapacitytoflourishunderthemostdifficulthumancapacitytoflourishunderthemostdifficultthattheirliveshaveinsomewaysimproved.我們都愛(ài)聽(tīng)人們經(jīng)歷苦難后發(fā)生轉(zhuǎn)變的故事,可能是因?yàn)檫@些故事證實(shí)了一條真正的心理學(xué)上的真理,這條真理有時(shí)會(huì)湮沒(méi)在無(wú)數(shù)關(guān)于災(zāi)難的報(bào)道中:在最困難的境況中,人所具有的一種在的奮發(fā)向上的能力會(huì)進(jìn)發(fā)出來(lái)。對(duì)那些令人極度恐慌的經(jīng)歷作出積極回應(yīng)的并不僅限于最堅(jiān)強(qiáng)或最勇敢的人。實(shí)際上,大約半數(shù)與逆境抗?fàn)庍^(guò)的人都說(shuō)他們的生活從此在某些方面有了改善。Thisandotherpromisingfindingsaboutthelife-changingeffectsofcrisesaretheprovinceofthenewscienceofpost-traumaticgrowth.Thisfledglingfieldhasalreadyprovedthetruthofwhatoncepassedasbromide:Whatdoesn'tkillyoucanactuallymakeyoustronger.Post-traumaticstressisfarfromtheonlypossibleoutcome.Inthewakeofeventhemostterrifyingexperiences,onlyasmallproportionofadultsbecomechronicallytroubled.Morecommonly,peoplerebound—oreveneventuallythrive.諸如此類(lèi)有關(guān)危機(jī)改變一生的發(fā)現(xiàn)有著可觀的研究前景,這正是創(chuàng)傷后成長(zhǎng)這一新學(xué)科的研究領(lǐng)域。這一新興領(lǐng)域已經(jīng)證實(shí)了曾經(jīng)被視為詞濫調(diào)的一個(gè)真理:大難不死,意志彌堅(jiān)。創(chuàng)傷后壓力絕不是唯一可能的結(jié)果。在遭遇了即使最可怕的經(jīng)歷之后,也只有一小部分成年人會(huì)受到長(zhǎng)期的心理折磨。更常見(jiàn)的情況是,人們會(huì)恢復(fù)過(guò)來(lái)—甚至最終會(huì)成功發(fā)達(dá)。Thosewhoweatheradversitywellarelivingproofofoneoftheparadoxesofhappiness:Weneedmorethanpleasuretolivethebestpossiblelife.Ourcontemporaryquestforhappinesshasshriveledtoahuntforbliss—alifeprotectedfrombadfeelings,freefrompainandconfusion.那些經(jīng)受住苦難打擊的人是有關(guān)幸福悖論的生動(dòng)例證:為了盡可能地過(guò)上最好的生活,我們所需要的不僅僅是愉悅的感受。我們這個(gè)時(shí)代的人對(duì)幸福的追求已經(jīng)縮小到只追求福氣:一生沒(méi)有煩惱,沒(méi)有痛苦和困惑。Thisanodynedefinitionofwell-beingleavesoutthebetterhalfofthestory,therich,fulljoythatcomesfromameaningfullife.Itisthedarkmatterofhappiness,theineffablequalityweadmireinwisemenandwomenandaspiretocultivateinourownlives.Itturnsoutthatsomeofthepeoplewhohavesufferedthemost,whohavebeenforcedtocontendwithshockstheyneveranticipatedandtorethinkthemeaningoftheirlives,mayhavethemosttotellusaboutthatprofoundandintenselyfulfillingjourneythatphilosophersusedtocallthesearchfor"thegoodlife."這種對(duì)幸福的平淡定義忽略了問(wèn)題的主要方面—種富有意義的生活所帶來(lái)的那種豐富、完整的愉悅。那就是幸福背后隱藏的那種本質(zhì)—是我們?cè)诿髦堑哪心信砩纤蕾p到并渴望在我們自己生活中培育的那種不可言喻的品質(zhì)。事實(shí)證明,一些遭受苦難最多的人-他們被迫全力應(yīng)付他們未曾預(yù)料到的打擊,并重新思考他們生活的意義—或許對(duì)那種深刻的、給人以強(qiáng)烈滿足感的人生經(jīng)歷(哲學(xué)家們過(guò)去稱(chēng)之為對(duì)“美好生活”的探尋)最有發(fā)言權(quán)。、Thisbroaderdefinitionofgoodlivingblendsdeepsatisfactionandaprofoundconnectiontoothersthroughempathy.Itisdominatedbyhappyfeelingsbutseasonedalsowithnostalgiaandregret."Happinessisonlyoneamongmanyvaluesinhumanlife,"contendsLauraKing,apsychologistattheUniversityofMissouriinColumbia.Compassion,wisdom,altruism,insight,creativity—sometimesonlythetrialsofadversitycanfosterthesequalities,becausesometimesonlydrasticsituationscanforceustotakeonthepainfulprocessofchange.Toliveafullhumanlife,atranquil,carefreeexistenceisnotenough.Wealsoneedtogrow—andsometimesgrowinghurts.這種對(duì)美好生活的更為廣泛的定義把深深的滿足感和一種通過(guò)移情與他人建立的深切聯(lián)系融合在一起。它主要受愉悅情感的支配,但同與他人建立的深切聯(lián)系融合在一起。時(shí)也夾雜著惆悵和悔恨。密里大學(xué)哥倫比亞分校的心理學(xué)家勞拉?金認(rèn)為:“幸福僅僅是許許多多人生價(jià)值中的一種。”慈悲、智慧、無(wú)私、.洞察力及創(chuàng)造力—有時(shí)只有經(jīng)歷逆境的考驗(yàn)才能培育這些品質(zhì),因?yàn)橛袝r(shí)只有極端的情形才能迫使我們?nèi)コ惺芡纯嗟母淖冞^(guò)程。只過(guò)安寧的、無(wú)憂無(wú)慮的生活是不足以體驗(yàn)一段完整的人生的。(此文來(lái)自袁勇兵博客)我們也需要成長(zhǎng)-盡管有時(shí)成長(zhǎng)是痛苦的。InadarkroominQueens,NewYork,31-year-oldfashiondesignerTracyCyrbelievedshewasdying.Afewmonthsbefore,shehadstoppedtakingthepowerfulimmune-suppressingdrugsthatkeptherarthritisincheck.Sheneveranticipatedwhatwouldhappen:awithdrawalreactionthateventuallyleftherintotalbodyagonyandneurologicalmeltdown.Theslightestmovemen—ttryingtoswallow,forexample—wasexcruciating.Eventhepressureofhercheekonthepillowwasalmostunbearable.在紐約市皇后區(qū)一間漆黑的房間里,31歲的時(shí)裝設(shè)計(jì)師特蕾西?塞爾感到自己奄奄一息。就在幾個(gè)月前,她已經(jīng)停止服用控制她關(guān)節(jié)炎的強(qiáng)效免疫抑制藥。她從沒(méi)預(yù)見(jiàn)到接下來(lái)將要發(fā)生的事:停藥之后的反應(yīng)最終使她全身劇烈疼痛,神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)出現(xiàn)嚴(yán)重問(wèn)題。最輕微的動(dòng)作—比如說(shuō)試著吞咽—對(duì)她來(lái)說(shuō)也痛苦不堪。甚至將臉壓在枕頭上也幾乎難以忍受。Cyrisnowimp—diagnosedwithjuvenilerheumatoidarthritisattheageof2,she'denduredthesymptomsandthetreatments(drugs,surgery)herwholelife.Butthistime,shewaswaypastherlimits,andnothingherdoctorsdidseemedtohelp.Eitherthediseasewasgoingtokillheror,prettysoon,she'dhavetokillherself.塞爾并不是懦弱的人。她在兩歲時(shí)就被診斷得了幼年型類(lèi)風(fēng)濕性關(guān)節(jié)炎,一生都在忍受著病癥和治療(藥物、手術(shù))的折磨。但是這一次,她實(shí)在不堪忍受了,她的醫(yī)生所做的一切似乎都不起作用。要么讓疾病結(jié)束她的生命,要么她就得很快了結(jié)自己的生命了。、Ashersleeplessnightsworeon,though,hersuicidalthoughtsbegantobeinterruptedbynewfeelingsofgratitude.Shewasstillinagony,butanewconsciousnessgrewstrongereachnight:anawesomesenseofliberation,combinedwithanall-encompassingfeelingofsympathyandcompassion."IfeltstrippedofeverythingI'deveridentifiedmyselfwith,"shesaidsixmonthslater."EverythingIthoughtI'dknownorbelievedinwasuseless—time,money,self-image,perceptions.Recognizingthatwassofreeing."然而,在經(jīng)歷了若干個(gè)不眠之夜后,她想自殺的念頭開(kāi)始被新的感激之情所打斷。雖然她仍然感到痛苦,但一種新的意識(shí)每一夜都變得更加強(qiáng)烈:一種令人驚嘆的解脫感,結(jié)合著一種包容一切的同情和憐憫的情感?!拔腋械揭磺形以?jīng)用來(lái)認(rèn)同?自己身份的東西都被剝奪了,六個(gè)月后她這樣說(shuō)道,“一切我認(rèn)為我知道或相信的事物—時(shí)間、金錢(qián)、自我形象、對(duì)事物的看法—都毫無(wú)價(jià)值了。意識(shí)到這一點(diǎn)真是讓我感到解脫。”Withinafewmonths,shebegantobeabletomovemorefreely,thankstoacocktailofsteroidsandotherdrugs.shesaysthere'snoquestionthatherlifeisbetternow."IfeltIhadbeenshownthesecretoflifeandwhywe'rehere:tobehappyandtonurtureotherlife.It'sthatsimple."在幾個(gè)月,得益于類(lèi)固醇加其他藥物的雞尾酒療法,她開(kāi)始能夠更加自如地活動(dòng)了。她說(shuō),毫無(wú)疑問(wèn)她現(xiàn)在的生活狀況有了好轉(zhuǎn)。“我感覺(jué)我窺探到了生命的秘密以及我們生存的意義,那就是快樂(lè)地生活,同時(shí)扶持他人。就這么簡(jiǎn)單!”Hermind-blowingexperiencecameasatotalsurprise.Butthatfeelingoftransformationisinsomewaystypical,saysRichTedeschi,aprofessorofpsychologyattheUniversityofNorthCarolinainCharlottewhocoinedtheterm"post-traumaticgrowth."Hisstudiesofpeoplewhohaveenduredextremeeventslikecombat,violentcrimeorsuddenseriousillnessshowthatmostfeeldazedandanxiousintheimmediateaftermath.Theyarepreoccupiedwiththeideathattheirliveshavebeenshattered.Afewarehauntedlongafterwardbymemoryproblems,sleeptroubleandsimilarsymptomsofpost-traumaticstressdisorder.ButTedeschiandothershavefoundthatformanypeople—perhapseventhemajority—lifeultimatelybecomesricherandmoregratifying.她這種不可思議的經(jīng)歷完全是個(gè)驚喜。但是北卡羅來(lái)納大學(xué)夏洛特分校心理學(xué)教授里奇?特德斯基認(rèn)為,這種轉(zhuǎn)變的感覺(jué)從某些方面看卻是很典型的。里奇?特德斯基教授首創(chuàng)了“創(chuàng)傷后成長(zhǎng)”一詞。他對(duì)那些經(jīng)歷了諸如搏斗、暴力犯罪、突患重病等極端事件的人群進(jìn)行了研究,這些研究表明,在剛經(jīng)歷不幸后大多數(shù)人隨即都會(huì)感到茫然和焦慮。他們一心想的就是,自己的生活完全被毀了。有少部分人事后很久了還不斷被記憶問(wèn)題、失眠以及類(lèi)似的創(chuàng)傷后應(yīng)激障礙所折磨。但特德斯基和其他學(xué)者發(fā)現(xiàn),對(duì)很多人(可能甚至是絕大多數(shù)人)來(lái)說(shuō),生活最終會(huì)變得更加豐富和更加令人滿足。somethingsimilarhappenstomanypeoplewhoexperienceaterrifyingphysicalthreat.Inthatmoment,oursenseofinvulnerabilityispierced,andtheself-protectivementalarmorthatnormallystandsbetweenusandourperceptionsoftheworldistornaway.Oureverydaylifescripts—ourhabits,self-perceptionsandassumptions—gooutthewindow,andwe'releftwitharawexperienceoftheworld.許多經(jīng)歷過(guò)恐怖的人身威脅的人會(huì)遇到類(lèi)似的情況。在事情發(fā)生的那一瞬間,我們的安全感被沖破了,平時(shí)處于我們與我們對(duì)世界的種種看法之間的自我保護(hù)的精神盔甲被剝離了。我們的日常生活軌跡(我們的習(xí)慣、自我認(rèn)識(shí)和主觀意念)全部被拋到九霄云外,只剩下對(duì)世界的原始體驗(yàn)。Still,actuallyimplementingthesechanges,aswellasfullycomingtotermswiththenewreality,usuallytakesconsciouseffort.Beingwillingandabletotakeonthisprocessisoneofthemajordifferencesbetweenthosewhogrowthroughadversityandthosewhoaredestroyedbyit.thepeoplewhofindvalueinadversityaren'tthetoughestorthemostrational.Instead,theytendtobeordinary—neitherthebest-northeworst-adjusted.Whatmakesthemdifferentisthattheyareabletoincorporatewhathappenedintothestoryoftheirownlife.盡管如此,要實(shí)際實(shí)現(xiàn)這些轉(zhuǎn)變并完全接受新的現(xiàn)實(shí),通常需要有意識(shí)地付出努力。是否愿意并有能力承擔(dān)這個(gè)過(guò)程,就是那些在災(zāi)難中成長(zhǎng)和那些被災(zāi)難所摧毀的人之間主要的區(qū)別之一。認(rèn)為災(zāi)難有價(jià)值的人并不是最堅(jiān)強(qiáng)或最理性的人。使他們與眾不同的是他們能夠?qū)⑺庥龅氖氯谌胨麄冏约旱娜松鷼v程中。Eventually,theymayfindthemselvesfreedinwaystheyneverimagined.Survivorsoftensaytheybecomemoretolerantandforgivingofothers,capableofbringingpeacetoformerlytroubledrelationships.Theysaythatmaterialambitionssuddenlyseemsillyandthepleasuresoffriendsandfamilyparamount—andthatthecrisisallowedthemtoreorganizelifeinlinewiththenewpriorities.最終,他們可能會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己以從未想到過(guò)的方式獲得了解脫。幸存者往往說(shuō)他們變得更加寬容,也更能原諒別人,能夠緩和原本糟糕的關(guān)系。他們說(shuō)物質(zhì)追求突然間變得很無(wú)聊,而朋友和家庭帶來(lái)的快樂(lè)變得極為重要,他們還說(shuō)危機(jī)使他們能夠按照這些新的優(yōu)先之事來(lái)重新認(rèn)識(shí)生活。、Peoplewhohavegrownfromadversityoftenfeelmuchlessfear,despitethefrighteningthingsthey'vebeenthrough.Theyaresurprisedbytheirownstrength,confidentthattheycanhandlewhateverelselifethrowsatthem."Peopledon'tsaythatwhattheywentthroughwaswonderful,"saysTedeschi."Theyweren'tmeaningtogrowfromit.Theywerejusttryingtosurvive.Butinretrospect,whattheygainedwasmorethantheyeveranticipated.從災(zāi)難中成長(zhǎng)起來(lái)的人盡管經(jīng)歷過(guò)恐怖的事情,但他們的恐懼感往往大為減少。他們對(duì)自己的力量感到吃驚,相信不管今后生活中將要遭遇什么,他們都能應(yīng)付。特德斯基說(shuō):“人們不會(huì)說(shuō)他們所經(jīng)歷的是美好的。他們并不是特意要通過(guò)這樣的經(jīng)歷來(lái)成長(zhǎng)。他們只是盡其所能生存下來(lái)。但回顧起來(lái),他們的收獲遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)大于他們所預(yù)料的。InhisrecentbookSatisfaction,EmoryUniversityGregoryBernspointstoextremeenduranceathleteswhopushthemselvestotheirphysicallimitsfordaysatatime.Theycyclethroughthesamesequenceofsensationsasdotraumasurvivors:self-loss,confusionand,finally,anewsenseofmastery.Forultramarathoners,whoregularlyrun100-mileracesthatlastmorethan24hours,vomitingandhallucinatingarenormal.Afteradayandnightofrunningwithoutstoppingorsleeping,competitorssometimesforgetwhotheyareandwhatthey'redoing.埃默里大學(xué)精神病學(xué)家格列高利?伯思斯在他的近作《滿足》中指出,極限耐力運(yùn)動(dòng)員每次訓(xùn)練都要使自己的身體連續(xù)數(shù)天處于極限狀態(tài)。他們和經(jīng)歷創(chuàng)傷的幸存者所經(jīng)歷的感覺(jué)過(guò)程一樣:自我失落,困惑,最后獲得一種新的駕馭感。對(duì)于經(jīng)常跑超過(guò)24小時(shí)的l00英里比賽的超級(jí)馬拉松運(yùn)動(dòng)員來(lái)說(shuō),嘔吐和產(chǎn)生幻覺(jué)是常事。在一晝夜不停歇不睡覺(jué)地跑步之后,競(jìng)賽者有時(shí)會(huì)忘了自己是誰(shuí),忘了自己在干什么。Foramorecommonexampleofgrowththroughadversity,looktooneoflife'sbiggestchallenges:parenting.Havingababyhasbeenshowntodecreaselevelsofhappiness.Thesleepdeprivationandthenecessityofputtingasidepersonalpleasuresinordertocareforaninfantmeanthatpeoplewithnewbornsaremorelikelytobedepressedan
溫馨提示
- 1. 本站所有資源如無(wú)特殊說(shuō)明,都需要本地電腦安裝OFFICE2007和PDF閱讀器。圖紙軟件為CAD,CAXA,PROE,UG,SolidWorks等.壓縮文件請(qǐng)下載最新的WinRAR軟件解壓。
- 2. 本站的文檔不包含任何第三方提供的附件圖紙等,如果需要附件,請(qǐng)聯(lián)系上傳者。文件的所有權(quán)益歸上傳用戶所有。
- 3. 本站RAR壓縮包中若帶圖紙,網(wǎng)頁(yè)內(nèi)容里面會(huì)有圖紙預(yù)覽,若沒(méi)有圖紙預(yù)覽就沒(méi)有圖紙。
- 4. 未經(jīng)權(quán)益所有人同意不得將文件中的內(nèi)容挪作商業(yè)或盈利用途。
- 5. 人人文庫(kù)網(wǎng)僅提供信息存儲(chǔ)空間,僅對(duì)用戶上傳內(nèi)容的表現(xiàn)方式做保護(hù)處理,對(duì)用戶上傳分享的文檔內(nèi)容本身不做任何修改或編輯,并不能對(duì)任何下載內(nèi)容負(fù)責(zé)。
- 6. 下載文件中如有侵權(quán)或不適當(dāng)內(nèi)容,請(qǐng)與我們聯(lián)系,我們立即糾正。
- 7. 本站不保證下載資源的準(zhǔn)確性、安全性和完整性, 同時(shí)也不承擔(dān)用戶因使用這些下載資源對(duì)自己和他人造成任何形式的傷害或損失。
最新文檔
- 辦公家具訂購(gòu)合同范本
- pc構(gòu)件模具合同范本
- 中學(xué)軍訓(xùn)合同范本
- 共同抵押合同范本
- 中介和工廠合同范本
- 華泰期貨合同范本
- 公司簽訂賠償合同范例
- 修假山承攬合同范本
- 中國(guó)石化合同范本
- 亞馬遜產(chǎn)品合同范本
- 幼兒園教職工開(kāi)展預(yù)防性侵
- DL∕T 1711-2017 電網(wǎng)短期和超短期負(fù)荷預(yù)測(cè)技術(shù)規(guī)范
- 醫(yī)療機(jī)構(gòu)消毒記錄表清潔消毒日檢查記錄表
- 2024年北京大學(xué)強(qiáng)基計(jì)劃數(shù)學(xué)試卷試題真題(含答案詳解)
- 2024年巴西脈沖灌洗系統(tǒng)市場(chǎng)機(jī)會(huì)及渠道調(diào)研報(bào)告
- 高壓電工證考試題庫(kù)及答案(完整版)
- 測(cè)繪地理信息標(biāo)準(zhǔn)化與規(guī)范化
- 精索靜脈曲張臨床路徑表單
- 2024年山東圣翰財(cái)貿(mào)職業(yè)學(xué)院?jiǎn)握芯C合素質(zhì)考試題庫(kù)含答案(綜合卷)
- 委外催收機(jī)構(gòu)入圍項(xiàng)目投標(biāo)技術(shù)方案(技術(shù)標(biāo))
- 肝與膽病辨證課件
評(píng)論
0/150
提交評(píng)論