【公開(kāi)課課件】基于學(xué)習(xí)中心的讀后繼寫(xiě)“三情－三性”寫(xiě)作指導(dǎo)

基于學(xué)習(xí)中心的讀后繼寫(xiě)“三情－三性”寫(xiě)作指導(dǎo)設(shè)計(jì)理念

1.學(xué)習(xí)中心課堂課題組初步構(gòu)建了“兩段三單三環(huán)節(jié)”的模式：具體分為：第一階段，即“個(gè)體自學(xué)階段”，包含第一環(huán)節(jié)“個(gè)體自學(xué)”，發(fā)放“預(yù)習(xí)單”。教師針對(duì)教學(xué)重難點(diǎn)設(shè)計(jì)并發(fā)放“預(yù)習(xí)單”，學(xué)生在課前或課上以個(gè)體自學(xué)的方式，盡力自主把握知識(shí)總體狀況、解決個(gè)體能獨(dú)立解決的問(wèn)題，并暴露和發(fā)現(xiàn)個(gè)體不能獨(dú)立解決的問(wèn)題。第二階段，即“群體研學(xué)階段”。針對(duì)學(xué)生個(gè)體自學(xué)不能解決的問(wèn)題，組織學(xué)生之間圍繞“導(dǎo)學(xué)單”進(jìn)行互動(dòng)研學(xué)以解決問(wèn)題。此階段包括兩個(gè)環(huán)節(jié)，即第二環(huán)節(jié)“小組互學(xué)”，發(fā)放“導(dǎo)學(xué)單”，主要針對(duì)個(gè)體問(wèn)題的小組互學(xué)環(huán)節(jié);第三環(huán)節(jié)“全班共學(xué)”，發(fā)放“拓展單”，主要針對(duì)小組問(wèn)題的全班共學(xué)環(huán)節(jié)。2.讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)“三情”課題組提出：基于“三情（情境，情節(jié)，情感）—三性（邏輯性，批判性，創(chuàng)新性）”的“讀雙線—聚三情—預(yù)結(jié)局—明修辭—潤(rùn)語(yǔ)言—用技巧—巧書(shū)寫(xiě)—重反饋”的教學(xué)模式。續(xù)寫(xiě)語(yǔ)篇：

2017年浙江6月高考真題

（高三年10月月考試試題）學(xué)情分析：本次授課班級(jí)為高三（7）班，理科實(shí)驗(yàn)班。經(jīng)過(guò)一學(xué)期的寫(xiě)作訓(xùn)練，學(xué)生已經(jīng)對(duì)該寫(xiě)作模式有了一定的感悟。2021年5月的區(qū)級(jí)公開(kāi)課（Charlotte’sWeb第一章節(jié)續(xù)寫(xiě)）側(cè)重在該模式中對(duì)學(xué)生過(guò)程性寫(xiě)作的指導(dǎo)，本次授課側(cè)重于引導(dǎo)學(xué)生利用元認(rèn)知策略，以評(píng)促學(xué)。教材和學(xué)情分析

課前，教師通過(guò)發(fā)放“預(yù)習(xí)單”，通過(guò)問(wèn)題鏈的設(shè)計(jì)引導(dǎo)學(xué)生從“讀雙線-聚三情-預(yù)結(jié)局”出發(fā)，初步構(gòu)建語(yǔ)篇框架，梳理基本信息，并合理推測(cè)四個(gè)續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)。教師通過(guò)師生前序教學(xué)共同制定的量化評(píng)價(jià)表引導(dǎo)學(xué)生進(jìn)行課堂展示，并通過(guò)自評(píng)和他評(píng)發(fā)掘?qū)W生中的亮點(diǎn)，發(fā)現(xiàn)個(gè)體自學(xué)中的問(wèn)題。

課上，教師通過(guò)引導(dǎo)學(xué)生進(jìn)行小組研討，分享個(gè)性問(wèn)題，歸納總結(jié)共性問(wèn)題，從“明修辭-潤(rùn)語(yǔ)言-用技巧”出發(fā)，針對(duì)共性問(wèn)題根據(jù)“最近發(fā)展區(qū)”理論選出最適宜本組提升的續(xù)寫(xiě)范文。學(xué)生通過(guò)小組展示促使思維外顯，巧用元認(rèn)知策略調(diào)控學(xué)習(xí)。最后，教師通過(guò)發(fā)放“拓展單”，通過(guò)聚焦“邏輯性思維、批判性思維、創(chuàng)新性思維”的量化表，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生關(guān)注“巧書(shū)寫(xiě)-重反饋”，在“發(fā)現(xiàn)問(wèn)題-分析問(wèn)題-解決問(wèn)題”的過(guò)程中，以評(píng)促學(xué)，獲得發(fā)展。課堂上，教師通過(guò)“小組互學(xué)”和“全班共學(xué)”等活動(dòng)環(huán)節(jié)將“輸入”與“輸出”融合交互進(jìn)行，強(qiáng)調(diào)突出了“學(xué)生為主體，教師為主導(dǎo)”以及“深度學(xué)習(xí)”的教育理念。教學(xué)流程說(shuō)明

學(xué)生小組展示

G1StorymountainPredictthe4points明修辭潤(rùn)語(yǔ)言用技巧MacandtheothertwocyclistsThecharactersinthestoryPaulandBeeky，drovetheircarwolf人物介紹先個(gè)體自學(xué)階段Who:Mac,twocyclists,PaulandBeeky,wolfWhen:Onabright,warmJulyafternoonWhat：MaccycledfromhishometoAlaskawithhisfriends.MacrodealonebecausehisfriendshadtorepairhisbikeMacmetawolf.PaulandBeekydroveby.ThestoryWhat’sgoingon?DidtheysaveMac?Howtosave?Howwouldtheydealwiththewolf?kill?Howaboutthetwocyclists?WhatdidMacthink?Let’sthinkaboutwhatwillhappen!!MaccycledtoAlaskawithtwofriends.Twofriendsfellbehindbecausetheyhadtorepairthebike.Macpedaledaloneandmetawolf.Macusedbearspraytoscarethewolftwice,butthewolfstillchasedafterit.PaulandBeekynoticedthedanger.StoryMountain?Predict

the4points預(yù)測(cè)續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofthehim.

Point1:PaulandBeekyhelpedMacandMacgotintotheircar.Point2:TheWolfattackedthecarbutfoundituselessandleftangrily.

Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrival.Point3:TheyaskedMacwhathadhappened,andMactoldthemthenarrowescape.Point4:TheythankedPaulandBeekyandleftsafely.群體研學(xué)階段明修辭情節(jié)：escapefromthewolf情感：scaredvsrelivedSimilie:(明喻）Metaphor:(暗喻）Exaggeration:(夸張）Repetition:(反復(fù)）Personification:(擬人）Thewolfwaslikeahungrymonsterchasingclosely.Lookingatthenetofthewolf’smouth,Mackeptmovingintothecar.Atthemoment,Macreallyhadhisheartinhismouth.Fiveyards,fouryards,threeyards...Maccouldfeelthetumpingofhisheartagainsthischestandsweatdrenchhisclothes.ThewolfcaughtupanditsmurderouslookandbloodymouthseemedtotellMac’sfate.潤(rùn)語(yǔ)言Howtodrivethewolfaway?1.FirethesprayMakeloudnoises…….2.Non-predicate：

非謂語(yǔ)AdvancedexpressionTodrivethewolfaway,hefiredthesprayatthewolf.Wekeptknockingthecarhorntomakethesoundofawhistlewhichwasnoisytodriveitaway.Inversion:倒裝句Scaredtodeathashewas,Macstruggledtocrawlupandthrewhisbicycleatthewolfwithallhisstrength.Thesubjunctive

mood:

虛擬語(yǔ)氣Itwasnecessarythatweshouldmakealoudnoisetodrivethewolfaway.Theattributiveclause:定語(yǔ)從句用技巧（1）多round1.Mactriedtogetonthecar,butthewolfstillchasedhim.2.Theythrewapieceofmeattothewolf,Macgotonthecar.3.Thewolfchasedthecar.Theyfiredthebearsprayatthewolfagain.(2)howtosay

1.yelled2.shoutedinaloudvoice3.PaulsaidtoBeekyanxiously1.saidgratefully2.saidwithasmileduringtherescueaftertherescue(3)Actionchain1.Atthatmoment,Macseizedthechanceandjumpedoffhisbicycletothebackdoorofthecar.2.Thewolfcaughtup,roaringwithangerandhittingthecarwindow.(4)Sensorydetails1.Seeingthewolfgotcloser,theyhadbutterfliesintheirstomach.2.Hearingthevoiceofthewolf,theirtightened,withtheireyesfullofhorror.主題HumanandnatureHumanandhumanwolfandhuman選文體現(xiàn)：“No！don'tdothat!Itisalsoalife.Just......”Macandcyclists/MacandPaul,Beeky選文體現(xiàn)：“HehadadeepgratitudetoPaulandBeeky.”升華?。hanks?。。32017年浙江6月讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)CycletoAlaska學(xué)習(xí)(人與社會(huì)）Mac'sfriendstoppedtorepairhisbike,soMacstartedridingalonePedaledaloneSavedbytwopassers-byChasedbywolvesMacamanmetafiercewolfwhenhewasriding.Hewaschasedbythewolf.Macdrovethewolfawaywithawolfspray,butthewolfpursuedit.PualandBeekydrovetoAlaskaandhappenedtomeetMacchasedbywolves,sotheysavedMac.Finallyhavearalaxjourney.Atfirst,whodidwhat?WhydidMaccyclealone?WhenMacfounditwasawolf,howmanytimesdidhetrytosavehimself?①M(fèi)acreachanagreementwithfriendstogotoAlaska.②“Oneofhisfriendshadstoppedtomakeabicyclerepair,buttheyhadencouragedMactocarryon....”一、個(gè)體自學(xué)階段twice①“Withonehandonthebars,hefiredthesprayatthewolf.”②“Hefiredatthewolfasecondtime...”“...itfellback,shakingitshead.Butaminutelater,itwasbyhissideagain.”StorymountainMacreachanagreementwithfriendstogotoAlaskaMacmeetswolf

WolfchaseMac，PaulandBeekysaveMacMactellhisfriendswhathappenedThankstoPaulandbeekyhappyfearscaredshockedgrateful

Point2:Theactionofthewolf/Macactionaftersafety.

2.根據(jù)所給句子預(yù)測(cè)續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)Whatwouldyouwriteinpara1?

Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim

Point1:Mac'sactionandexpressionbeforegettinginthecar.PaulandBeekysawthewolf(五感)Whatmaytheydo?

WhatmayMacdo?

WhatmayMac,PaulandBeekydo?

Howdidthewolfreact?

Didthewolfleaveinpara1?

Whatwouldyouwriteinpara2?

Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.Point3:Mac'sbicyclelyingontheroad.(whattheysee)

Point4:BegratefultoPaulandBeeky.Didthewolfstillchasethem?Whatdidthetwocyclistssee/think(feelings)/saw/do(actionchain)?Whatistheending/theme?二.群體研學(xué)階段1.明修辭：情節(jié)是（名詞）action、（動(dòng)詞）escape、

（名詞）carand

bicycle

,情感

fright

VS

relief

可用的修辭可能有：Simile（明喻，有l(wèi)ike)：Thefiercewolfopenedhisbloodymouth.Theteethinthewolf'smouthwerelikeasharpdagger,whichmadepeopleafraidMetaphor(暗喻，無(wú)like）：Mac'sheartpanicked,hishandstrembled,andhisgoosebumpswereasbigasgooseeggsExaggeration（夸張）：Thewolfwassoangrythathewasabouttoswallowthecar

Repetition（反復(fù)）：Macrunstothecarandopensthecar,

thewolfchasesthecarandbitesthedoor

Personification（擬人）：Macdidn'tdaretotakeastep,andtimeheldhisbreath,asiftheywerewaitingforachancetoberescued2.潤(rùn)語(yǔ)言文章中可以用到的照應(yīng)點(diǎn)(1)Howtodrivethewolfaway?(2)

Mac

hashear

spray......高級(jí)表達(dá)(1)非謂語(yǔ)(non-predicate)Thinkingofthewolf'sbloodymouth,Macwasnearlydeadwithfright.(2)定語(yǔ)從句(theattributiveclause)hecouldevenimaginethewolf'steeththatwouldtearintohisflesh.(3)倒裝句(Inversion)

Soangrywasthewolfthatitkeptroaringandsmackingthewindowviolently.(4)虛擬語(yǔ)氣(theSubjunctionMood)withouttheirtimelyhelp,I'dhaveendedupinthewolf'sstomach!

多輪場(chǎng)景

（Multipleroundsofscene）：Withoutanyhesitation,Macjumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothebackdoorofthecar.Itwaslocked!Justatthatmoment,thedoorwasunlockedbyBeckyandthefrightenedmandivedin,shuttingthedoorjustbeforethewolfpouncedonhim3.用技巧人物語(yǔ)言（characterlanguage）：“Comeon，getinthecarquickly!”P(pán)aulyelled.PaulshoutedatMac“Getinthecarquickly!”theycouldn’thelpcryingout,“Whatanarrowescape!”theycouldn’thelpcryingout,“Whatanarrowescape!”Macpulledoverandcried.“Therestofthetripwasamazing,butIhadtoletthatemotionout.”Sensory

details：Feelingtwostrongcreaturesapproaching,thewolfhesitated.Angrybutpainful,thewolfhadtostepback,growlingandglaringatMacangrily.Whilehereallydidn’twanttomessupthesurething,eventuallyheturnedbackunwillinglyanddisappearedintothewoods.TheyweresurprisedtofindMac’sbicyclelyingontheroad,histentbagtornandMacjustlikeadrownedmouse.Action

chain：Withoutanyhesitation,Macjumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothebackdoorofthecar.Macstruggledtocrawlupandthrewhisbicycleatthewolfwithallhisstrength.Meanwhile,Paultriedhonkingthehornloudlytoscareitaway.Macheldhisbreath,daringnottomakeamovement.☆*.☆.∧＿∧∩*☆*☆(???)/..?ノ*☆☆*(つノ.☆(ノ最佳范文：Version1優(yōu)：這篇習(xí)作描寫(xiě)較為細(xì)致，文氣較為通暢，語(yǔ)言面貌總體相當(dāng)不錯(cuò)，較好的完成了交際任務(wù)。習(xí)作故事情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)合理，邏輯性強(qiáng)，與短文融洽度高人物行為與場(chǎng)景描述細(xì)膩，同時(shí)穿插心理描繪，有動(dòng)有靜，有聲有色，有較強(qiáng)表現(xiàn)力的細(xì)節(jié)描述性語(yǔ)言！CycletoAlaskaG4目錄3明修辭5storymountain2續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)預(yù)測(cè)1storymountain4語(yǔ)言潤(rùn)色1storymountainGotoAlsakebybikeMacHollan,aprimaryschoolteacher,wascyclingfromhishometoAlaskawithhisfriendsMacrodeoffbyhimselfandhemetthewolfOneofhisfriendshadstoppedtomakeabicyclerepair,buttheyhadencouragedMactocarryon,andtheywouldcatchupwithhimsoonThewolfchasedMacandPaulandBeekyworkedtosavehimAwolf,quicklycatchingupwithhim;ItattackedthebackofMac'sbike,tearingopenhistentbagPaulandBeekyweredrivingtheircarontheirwaytoAlaskaThecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhimHisfriendsappearedSuccessfulrescueEveryoneburstintoalightsweetsmile2續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)預(yù)測(cè)01WhatwillPaulandbeekydowiththewolf02Howwouldthewolfreact03Didthewolfleaveinpart1？Ifnot,whataboutpart204Didhisfriendsarrivebeforethewolfleft05Whatdotheydowhentheyarerescued06WilltheyleavetogetherintheendPoint13明修辭1.Mac’sheartjumped2.Maccouldfeelthethumpingofhisheartagainsthischestandsweatdrenchhisclothes①1.Machuggedallofthemandsaidthanksagainandagain2.HehadadeepgratitudetoPaulandBeeky②FearAppreciate2savepeople4End3appreciate1.FivepeoplegotoAlaskatogether2.Macandhisfriendareseparatedfrompul1catchawolf情節(jié)Happyending4語(yǔ)言潤(rùn)色03Thewolf’steethwouldbetearingintohisflesh04spray01Hethoughtfondlyofhiswifeandtwoyoungdaughtersathome02Bicycleandcar照應(yīng)點(diǎn)虛擬LOREMIPSUMDOLOR名句Haditnotbeenfor,Iwon’tbeabletoleave非謂倒裝定從AfriendinneedisafriendindeedThinkingofthewolf’sbloodymouth,MacwasnearlydeadwithfrightThererosearedsunoverthehills,,wesetoutofAlaskaWhilehereallydidn’twanttomessupthesurething,eventuallyheturnedbackunwillinglyanddisappearedintothewoodsLOREMIPSUMDOLOR主題類別：人與自然Save中心思想：升華評(píng)

語(yǔ)法無(wú)大錯(cuò)誤。字?jǐn)?shù)符合要求。上下文銜接得當(dāng)。能運(yùn)用修辭與名句。

高級(jí)句式較少，語(yǔ)言較為平實(shí)，重點(diǎn)部分筆墨不多，高潮感覺(jué)不明顯。

Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.Thewi