GRE寫作5分范文賞析

GRE寫作5分范文賞析分分學生命根，提高成績需呀這么做。下面為大家整理了GRE寫作5分范文賞析的相關內容，供考生們參考，以下是詳細內容。EssayResponse—Score5Surelymanyofushaveexpressedthefollowingsentiment,orsomevariationonit,duringourdailycommutestowork:"Peoplearegettingsostupidthesedays!"Surroundedaswearebystridingandstridentautomatonswithcellphonesgluedtotheirears,PDA'sgrippedintheirpalms,andomniscient,omnipresentCNNgleamingintheireyeballs,it'stemptingtobelievethattechnologyhasisolatedandinfantilizedus,essentallytransformingusintodependent,conformistmoronsbestequippedtosideswiponeanotherinourSUV's.Furthermore,hangingaroundwiththeyounger,pre-commutegeneration,whomtech-savvinessseemstohaverenderedlethal,isevenlessreassuring.With"TeenPeople"styletrendsshootingthroughtheairfromtiger-stripedPDAtozebra-stripedPDA,andwiththelateststarletgossipzippingfromjuicyBlackberrytoteeny,turbo-chargedcellphone,technologyseemstosupportyoungpeople'sworsttendenciestofollowthecrowd.Indeed,theyhaveseeminglyevolvedintointergalacticconformitypolice.Afterall,today'stech-aidedteensare,courtesyofauthentic,hands-onvideogames,literallytrainedtokill;courtesyofchatandinstanttextmessaging,theyhavetheirownlanguage;theyevenhavetinycamerastoefficientlyphotodocumentyourfashionblunders!Isthisadolescence,orpaparazziterroristtrainingcamp?Withallthisevidence,it'seasytobelievethattechtrendsandtheincorporationoftechnologicalwizardryintooureverydayliveshaveservedmostlytoenforceconformity,promotedependence,heightencomsumerismandmaterialism,andgenerallycreateaculturethatvaluesself-absorptionandpersonalentitlementovercooperationandcollaboration.However,Iarguethatwearemerelyintheinchoatestagesoflearningtolivewithtechnologywhilestilllovingoneanother.Afterall,evengiventheexamplesprovidedearlierinthisessay,itseemsclearthattechnologyhasn'timpairedourthinkingandproblem-solvingcapacities.Certainlyithasincapacitatedourbehaviorandmanners;certainlyourvalueshavetakenasevereblow.However,weareinarguablymoreefficientinourbadnessthesedays.We'reeffectiveworkerbeesofineffectiveness!IfT\technologyhassoincreasedoursensesofself-efficacythatwecanbecomeveritableagentsoftheawful,virtualCEO'sofselfishness,certainlyitcanbebeneficial.Harnessedcorrectly,technologycanimproveourabilitytothinkandactforourselves.Thefirstchallengeistofigureouthowtoprovidetechnologyuserswithsomedirely-neededdirection.ReaderCommentaryforEssayResponse—Score5Thelanguageofthisessayclearlyillustratesbothitsstrengthsandweaknesses.Thefloweryandsometimesuncannilykeendescriptionsareoftenusedtopowerfuleffect,butatothertimesthisdescriptivelanguageresultsinerrorsinsyntax.See,forexample,theproblemsofparallelisminthesecond-to-lastsentenceofparagraph2("Afterall,today'stech-aidedteens...").Thereisconsistentevidenceoffacilitywithsyntaxandcomplexvocabulary("Surroundedaswearebystridingandstridentautomatonswithcellphonesgluedtotheirears,PDA'sgrippedintheirpalms,andomniscient,omnipresentCNNgleamingintheireyeballs,it'stemptingtobelieve...").However,suchlucidproseisoftencounteredbyanover-relianceonabstractionsandtangentialreasoning.Forexample,whatdoesthefactthatvideogames"literallytrain[teens]tokill"havetodowiththeuseordeteriorationofthinkingabilities?Becausethisessaytakesacomplexapproachtotheissue(arguing,ineffect,thattechnologyneitherenhancesnorreducesourabilitytothinkforourselves,butcandooneortheother,dependingontheuser)andbec