大學(xué)四級作文評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)及樣文參考

“大學(xué)英語四級考試大綱”、作文評分原則及標(biāo)準(zhǔn)1.1考試大綱（節(jié)選）《大學(xué)英語教學(xué)大綱》規(guī)定：大學(xué)英語教學(xué)的目的，是培養(yǎng)學(xué)生具有較強的閱讀能力和一定的聽、說、讀、寫、譯能力，使他們能用英語交流信息?！洞缶V》還明確地規(guī)定了基礎(chǔ)教學(xué)階段（即四級階段）的寫作能力要求：能在閱讀難度與課文相仿的書面材料時做筆記、回答問題、寫提綱，能就一定的話題或提綱在半小時內(nèi)寫出不少于120個單詞的短文，能寫短信和便條，表達意思清楚，無重大語言錯誤。《大學(xué)英語課程教學(xué)要求》（教育部高教司編寫，外語教學(xué)與研究出版社2004年8月出版）對大學(xué)英語基礎(chǔ)教學(xué)階段的寫作能力要求如下：Studentsshouldbeabletocompletewritingtasksforgeneralpurposes,e.g.,describingpersonalexperiences,impressions,feelings,orsomeevents,andtoundertakepracticalwriting.Theyshouldbeabletowritewithin30minutesashortcompositionof120wordsonageneraltopicoranoutline.Thecompositionshouldbebasicallycompleteincontent,appropriateindictionandcoherentindiscourse.Studentsareexpectedtobeabletohaveacommandofbasicwritingstrategies.大學(xué)英語四、六級考試大綱根據(jù)《大學(xué)英語教學(xué)大綱》制定，考試大綱中對于寫作部分詳實地做了如下規(guī)定：第一部分：短文寫作（PartIWriting）共一題，考試時間為30分鐘。要求考生寫出一篇不少于120詞的短文。試卷上可能給出題目，或規(guī)定情景，或要求看圖作文，或根據(jù)段首句續(xù)寫，或給出關(guān)鍵詞要求寫成短文，或要求考生根據(jù)情景提示寫書信或便條，以及要求考生在讀完一篇較長的文章之后寫出摘要或概括大意等。因而，大學(xué)英語四級考試作文部分的?？碱}型主要有如下8種：1．（中英文）提綱（主題句）作文2．情景提示作文3．看圖作文4．段首句作文5．應(yīng)用文6．關(guān)鍵詞作文7．命題作文8．縮寫和摘要作文正如《大學(xué)英語課程教學(xué)要求》對大學(xué)英語基礎(chǔ)教學(xué)階段的寫作能力要求規(guī)定的那樣，我們要想寫出優(yōu)秀的段落或短文，不能只是簡單地把幾個句子或幾個段落拼在一起就夠了，而必須遵循寫作的三大原則：即思想的統(tǒng)一性、內(nèi)容的連貫性和結(jié)構(gòu)的完整性。首先，大學(xué)英語四級短文寫作要求切題，全文思想統(tǒng)一。思想統(tǒng)一性指段落內(nèi)的所有句子或短文內(nèi)的所有段落都必須圍繞中心主題展開。要保持一個段落或短文的統(tǒng)一性，就必須去掉那些與主題無關(guān)的句子和段落。切題是四級考試寫作的最基本的要求。其次，短文寫作還要做到內(nèi)容連貫。內(nèi)容的連貫指句子與句子之間、段落與段落之間有著自然、恰當(dāng)?shù)你暯樱褂靡恍┻^渡性的詞語或句子，使短文條理清晰、脈絡(luò)清楚。最后，結(jié)構(gòu)的完整性，就是段落或短文必須有始有終，不能缺少任何一部分。大學(xué)英語四級寫作考核內(nèi)容為社會、文化、歷史、科技等方面的一般常識和與人們?nèi)粘Ｉ蠲芮邢嚓P(guān)的內(nèi)容。在題材上，大學(xué)英語四級考試作文可為議論文、說明文、描寫文、記敘文或應(yīng)用文。有時，還可能將兩種文體，特別是議論文和說明文，糅合在一起進行考察。因此，考生在寫作之前，必須認真審題，仔細推敲，準(zhǔn)確判斷考題的文體要求。如果一開始就將文體判斷錯了，后果將可想而知。 1.2作文評分原則CET作文評卷工作中，實行模擬試改，淘汰不合要求的閱卷教師，并嚴格要求教師遵循如下評分原則：CET-4是檢查考生是否達到《大學(xué)英語教學(xué)大綱》規(guī)定的四級教學(xué)要求的考試，因此對作文的評判應(yīng)以此要求為準(zhǔn)則。CET-4作文題采用總體評分方法(GlobalScoring)。閱卷人員就總的印象給出獎勵分(RewardScores)，而不按語言點的錯誤數(shù)目扣分。從內(nèi)容和語言對作文進行綜合評判。內(nèi)容和語言是個統(tǒng)一體。作文應(yīng)表達作文題目所規(guī)定的內(nèi)容，而內(nèi)容通過語言來表達。要考慮作文是否切題，是否充分表達思想，還要考慮是否用英語清楚地表達思想，也就是要考慮語言上的錯誤是否造成理解上的障礙。避免趨中傾向。該給高分的給高分，包括滿分；該給低分的給低分，包括0分。一位閱卷人員在所評判的全部試卷當(dāng)中不應(yīng)只給中間的幾個分數(shù)。1.3評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)本題滿分為15分。閱卷標(biāo)準(zhǔn)通常分為五等：2分、5分、8分、11分和14分。閱卷人員根據(jù)閱卷標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，對照樣卷評分，若認為與某一分數(shù)（如8分）相似，即定為該分數(shù)（即8分）；若認為稍優(yōu)或稍劣于該分數(shù)，則可加一分（即9分）或減一分（即7分），但不得加減半分。評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)：2分——條理不清，思路紊亂，語言支離破碎或大部分句子均有錯誤，且多數(shù)為嚴重錯誤。5分——基本切題。表達思想不清楚，連貫性差。有較多的嚴重語言錯誤。8分——基本切題。有些地方表達思想不夠清楚，文字勉強連貫；語言錯誤相當(dāng)多，其中有一些是嚴重錯誤。11分——切題。表達思想清楚，文字連貫，但有少量語言錯誤。14分——切題。表達思想清楚，文字通順，連貫性較好?；旧蠠o語言錯誤，僅有個別小錯。注：白卷，作文與題目毫不相關(guān)，或只有幾個孤立的詞而無法表達思想，則給0分。字數(shù)不夠120個，應(yīng)酌情扣分，具體標(biāo)準(zhǔn)：累計字數(shù)在110～119之間，扣1分；累計字數(shù)在100～109之間，扣2分；累計字數(shù)在90～99之間，扣3分；累計字數(shù)在80～89之間，扣4分；表原因的：accordingly,thus,therefore;表總結(jié)的：inbrief,inshort,inconclusion等漢語講求“起”，“承”，“轉(zhuǎn)”，“合”，英語作文也有“atpresent”,“atthesametime”,“however”,“atlength”等與之對應(yīng)的短語和句子。另外，多讀，多背一些作文模板對寫作有立竿見影的效果，限于篇幅，這里把開篇句、擴展句、結(jié)尾句各舉三例：1．開篇句a.Whenitcomesto…somepeoplethinkthat…othersthinkthattheoppositeistrue.Thereisprobablysometrueinbothargumentsbut….b.Now,itiscommonlybelievedthat…Theyclaimthat…ButIwonderwhether…c.Withtheprompt/rapiddevelopment…,moreandmorepeoplebelievethat…2．?dāng)U展句a.Everythinghastwosidesand…isnotanexception;ithasbothadvantagesanddisadvantages.b.Theanswertothisprobleminvolvesmanycomplexfactors.Foronething…foranother,…stillanother…c.Myreasonmaybeexpressedasfollows:3．結(jié)尾句a.AsfarasIamconcerned,Iagreewiththelatteropiniontosomeextent.Ithinkthat…b.Fromwhathasbeendiscussedabove,wemaysafelyarriveattheconclusionthat…c.Inconclusion,Iwouldliketosaythat…isaquestionthatdeservesspecialattentionfromthepublic.總之，四級作文要注意平時的積累，多看模板，多背名句，多寫。同時，避免寫一些中文式的句子，多寫簡單句，少寫復(fù)雜句，如果碰到自己不會寫的東西，可以換一種方式表達，寫作前可先寫個提綱，寫作過程中一般不打草稿，特別注重第一段的寫作，因為這是你給評閱老師第一印象的時候，也是他給你定檔次的時候。寫作最好有主題句，多檢查謂語是否準(zhǔn)確，對寫出的句子要問一句：“這是地道的英語嗎？”等。所以，經(jīng)過較系統(tǒng)的訓(xùn)練，四級作文也就不攻自破了。1.4.32003/1作文試題Directions:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowriteacompositiononthetopicItPaystoBeHonest.Youshouldwriteatleast120wordsaccordingtotheoutlinegivenbelowinChinese.當(dāng)前社會上存在許多不誠實的現(xiàn)象。誠實利人利己，做人應(yīng)該誠實。實例1:14分ItPaystoBeHonestNowadaystherearemanydishonestphenomenainoursociety.Toillustrate,somepeoplefabricatefalsediplomaforthepurposeoffindingagoodjob;somebusinessmansellfakecommoditiestotheircustomersinpursuitofcommercialinterest;somestudentscheatintheexaminordertogetahighmark.Asamatteroffact,thedishonestpeopleonlyfocusontheshort-terminterests.Oncetheirfalsitieswereexposed,theywillloseothers’trust,losetheirfortune,evenbesenttoprison.Incontrast,honestpeoplegainalot.Thosewhoalwaystelltruthorkeeptheirpromisenotonlymakeotherstrustthem,butalsogainrespectfromthemaswell.It’snodoubtsuchpeoplecanholdalotoffriendsbecausetheyarereliableandvenerable.Moreover,it’sfacileforanhonestpeopletofindagoodjobsinceeveryemployerlongforhonestemployees.Thosehonestbehaviorswillberenderedbackatlast.Therefore,weshouldadvocatethespiritofbeinghonestforitcanhelpustowintrust,respectandadmirationfromothers.Inotherwords,itpaystobehonest.評語：這篇文章緊緊圍繞主題行文，不僅切合題意，語言表達上也十分通順，連貫性較好?；旧蠠o語言錯誤，僅有個別小錯，除了“sinceeveryemployerlongforhonestemployees”這句中的long應(yīng)該為longs之外，其余的地方幾乎沒有錯誤。因此可以歸入第一檔14分。實例2：11分ItPaystoBeHonestInmodernsocietythereexistalotofdishonestphenomenons.Forexample,inordertocatchthecustomer’sattention,manyadvertisementsmakeupexaggeratedpropaganda;inordertoearnmoremoney,somepeoplesellfalsemedicine,sometimesdamagedthecustomer’shealthseriously,andevendeprivedtheirlives.Althoughithelpsthemgaintheshortprofits,it’lldestroythereputationofthecompanyinthelongsight.Inmyopinion,honestisbeneficialtous.Foronething,wecangainothers’respectandtrust,sothatwecanhavemorechancestomakefriends.Foranother,itcanmakeoursocietymorebeautifulandeverypersonfriendlytoeachother.Inaword,Ithinkeveryoneshouldstarttobehonestandeveryoneshouldhavetheideathatoursocietycannotdowithouthonesty.評語：這篇文章內(nèi)容切題，文字連貫，表達思想也比較清楚，但第二段在描述誠實利人利己時，可以寫得更詳實一些，也可補充些簡單的例子，這樣就會使文章的內(nèi)容顯得更加地充實。此外，文中還存在著少量的用詞錯誤，如：第一句“Inmodernsocietythereexistalotofdishonestphenomenons”當(dāng)中的phenomenons屬于比較明顯的錯誤，這個詞的復(fù)數(shù)形式應(yīng)該是“phenomena”。第一段當(dāng)中的“evendeprivedtheirlives”,deprive后面應(yīng)該加上介詞of。還有第一段的最后一句“Althoughithelpsthemgaintheshortprofits,it’lldestroythereputationofthecompanyinthelongsight”中的“theshortprofits”應(yīng)該是“theshort-termprofits”，還有后面的“inthelongsight”應(yīng)該是“inthelongterm”。因此，這篇文章比上一篇略遜一籌，定為11分。實例3：8分ItPaystoBeHonestHonestyisoneoftheChineseconventionalmorals.Butatpresent,therearemoreandmoredishonestthingsinthesociety.Forexample,salesmencheatpeople,advertisementcheatpeople;evenyourclosefriendscheatyou.Whenyouareatschool,youwillfindmanystudentscopyothers’papersinthefinalexam.Thesearethebadthingsinoursociety.Ifyouarenothonesttootherpeople,theywillgiveyouback.Inotherwords,tobehonestnotonlybenefitforyoubutalsogoodforothers.Foracompany,honestyandcreditshouldbetheprimarything,dishonestwillmakeitlosehiscustomer;itishorribletothinkthatifeveryonetellsliestoothers.Sowhateverwedo,wewillnotbelieveothers.Thenourlifewillbeunhappy!Takingallthethingstoconsideration,wecancometotheresultthathonestisbeneficialforourselvesandothers.Weshouldhonestwheneverweare,thosewhoarenotdishonestwillbepunishedinsomeday.評語：這篇文章的內(nèi)容基本切題，文字上還比較連貫，但有些地方表達思想不夠清楚，語法錯誤也較多，其中有一些嚴重的語言錯誤。存在的主要問題如下：詞語使用不當(dāng)：如第一句中的morals這個詞使用不當(dāng)，應(yīng)該改為virtues；第一段第二句以及第二段第一句中的dishonestthings最好改為dishonestphenomena；第二段后面的“tobehonestnotonlybenefitforyoubutalsogoodforothers”benefit后的for該去掉；最后一段當(dāng)中的“wecancometotheresultthathonestisbeneficialforourselvesandothers”和beneficial搭配的介詞應(yīng)該為to。主謂一致出現(xiàn)錯誤，如第一段中的“advertisementcheatpeople”,advertisement應(yīng)改為復(fù)數(shù)；“tobehonestnotonlybenefitforyoubutalsogoodforothers”中的benefit和good都應(yīng)該改成第三人稱單數(shù)。第二段中的honestyandcreditshouldbetheprimarything中的thing應(yīng)改為復(fù)數(shù)；“dishonestwillmakeitlosehiscustomer”中的customer應(yīng)改為復(fù)數(shù)。第二段中的“Ifyouarenothonesttootherpeople,theywillgiveyouback”詞組giveback使用不正確，應(yīng)該改為“theywillgiveitbacktoyou”。最后一段當(dāng)中的首句“Takingallthethingstoconsideration”，應(yīng)改為“Takingallthethingsintoconsideration”。最后一句“Weshouldhonestwheneverweare”應(yīng)改為“Weshouldbehonestwhateverwedo”。

基于以上存在的問題，這篇文章只能評8分。實例4：5分ItPaystoBeHonestHonestisagoodmoralinchina.Nowadays,oursocietyisfullofunhonestthings.Thehonestwaslittletimethinkofbypeople.Sincepersondependentondeceiveisuptohimself’saim.However,somepeoplewasthinkthatitisallright,allofthisaimattomakealotofmoney.But,wewerecollegestudents,wemusthaveangoodmoral.Weshouldbehonest.Astimepast,honestismoreimportantinourlife.Forexample,youwillbuysomethingfalse,otherswhosellittoyouarenotbehonest.Youborrowsomethingtosomebody,buthedenyit.But,asafact,ifeveryoneisnothonest,ourlifewillnotnormal,andourcountrywillnotnormaltoo.Honestishelpfultoyourselfandothers.Soweshouldbehonestforbeingahuman.Maybeitismoreharmoniousinoursociety.評語：這篇文章表達思想不清楚，很多句子意思不明，不知道作者想要表達的具體思想，特別是第一段當(dāng)中有多處嚴重語言錯誤，如“Thehonestwaslittletimethinkofbypeople.Sincepersondependentondeceiveisuptohimself’saim.However,somepeoplewasthinkthatitisallright,allofthisaimattomakealotofmoney.”這幾句，沒有一句是完全正確的句子。后面兩段當(dāng)中雖然錯誤較多，但還可以勉強猜出作者想要表達的意圖。此外，還有許多用詞不當(dāng)?shù)牡胤?，如最后一段中的normal這個詞，以及一些其他的語法錯誤，這里就不一一列舉了。綜上所述，這篇文章只能定為5分檔。實例5：2分ItPaystoBeHonestHonestisagoodmoral,butinthemoedenworld,mostofpeoplearenothonest.Nowintheschool,thisphenomenonissoserious.Manystudentshavechestintheexamjustwantpasstotheexambuttheydon’tthinkitisverybadforhim.Nowintheworld,honestisveryimprotent,becausepeopleandpeople’scommitmentaremoreandmore,ifthedeceivedismostintheperson,theworldwillfullofblack.Youshouldthinkthelifeisverybadandnothappyinlive.Butwhenyoudohelptheotherpeople,thepeopleishelpyou.Youarehappyeveryday.評語：這篇文章條理不清，思路紊亂，語言支離破碎或大部分句子均有錯誤，且多數(shù)為嚴重錯誤。字數(shù)也沒有達到基本要求的120個詞，因此歸為最后一檔。2003/6四級作文Directions:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowriteAnEye-WitnessAccountofaTrafficAccident.Youshouldwriteatleast120wordsaccordingtotheoutlinegivenbelowinChinese:假設(shè)你在某日某時目擊一場車禍，就此寫一份見證書。見證書包括以下幾點：1．車禍發(fā)生的時間及地點2．你所見到的車禍情況3．你對車禍原因的分析實例1：14分AnEye-WitnessAccountofaTrafficAccidentItwasthemorningofApril6th,2003.Atabout7:30,Iwenttoschoolbybikeasusual.Itwasarainydayandtheroadwasslippery.Ontheway,Inoticedaboyridinginfrontofme,talkingloudlywithhisfriends.Hedidn’tweararaincoat;insteadheheldanumbrellainonehand,therodewithanotherhand.AsheturnedlefttoGuangmingRoad,hefailedtoseeacarcomingfrombehindatruckparkedonthecorner.SuddenlyIheardabignoiseandsawanumbrellathrownaway.Theboywasknockeddownbythecar.Iwascompletelyshocked.Ithinktheboy’sabsent-mindednessaccountedmuchfortheaccident.Hewastalkingallthetimeanddangerouslyusedanumbrellawhileridingabike.Theweatheralsoplayedaroleinthetragedy.Thethirdcausewastheunproperlyparkedtruck,whichwasbigenoughtomaketheroadconditionsinvisibletothestudentswhoweregoingtomakeaturn.Allthesecontributedtotheaccident.評語：該作文內(nèi)容切題。思想表達清楚，連貫性較好：首段指出交通事故發(fā)生的時間，接著回顧了該次交通事故的前前后后。作者在第二段分析這次車禍的可能原因。整篇作文用詞準(zhǔn)確，文字通順，句式變化多樣，過渡自然；文中基本沒有語言錯誤。實例2：11分AnEye-WitnessAccountofaTrafficAccidentItwaslastFridaymorning.TheaccidenthappenedwhenIwasonmywaytoschool.ItwassoterriblethatIwouldneverforgetit.Iwaswalkingalongtheroad,andtherearenotsomanycarsontheroad.Then,withabigsound,theaccidenthappened.Theredcarstopedsuddenlyontheroadsothatthedriveroffollowingcarcouldn’trespondimmeditely.Thebackoftheredcarwasbadlydamaged,butfortunatelytherewasnopeopleinjuredinthisaccident.Ithinkthemainreasonsareasfollows:Firstofall,theredcarshouldn’tstopsuddenlywithoutanysignals.Secondly,thefollowingcarshouldkeepacertaindistancefromthefrontcarsothatthedrivercouldhaveenoughtimetotakemeasurswhenanybadlysituation.Finally,thesetwodriverswerecareless.Iftheyhadpaidmoreattentiontodriving,thisaccdentwouldn’thavehappened.評語：內(nèi)容切題，條理較清楚，文字連貫，但有少量語言錯誤。第一段介紹，引入正題。第二段著重描述交通事故。第三段簡要評述了這場車禍，并有Firstofall,Secondly,Finally等過渡詞。實例3：8分AnEye-WitnessAccountofaTrafficAccidentThetrafficaccidentwastakenplaceatthejunctionoftwohighwayswhenIwasdrivingmycarhomeatabout4o’clock..Theyellowcarinvolvedintheaccidentwasrunningatahighspeedalongtheright-handwhenithappened.Hardlyitreachedthejunctionwhenitcrackedwithatruckrunningfromanotherdirection.Therewasnotimeforthedriverstochangethedirections.Ithinktheaccidentmostlyattributedtosuchreasons:Firstlyandtheforemost,itwasthecarelessnessofbothofthedriversthatmostlymadetheaccidentshappen.Itwasnottoocarefulforthemwhenrunningacar.Secondly,theweatheralsoshouldberesponsibleforit.Thefogmadethevisionofdriversvague.Lastbutnottheleast,theconstructureoftheroadswasunreasonable.Thetraficlightsareneededatanyjunctions.評語：內(nèi)容基本切題。有些地方思想表達得不夠清楚，文字勉強連貫；語言錯誤相當(dāng)多，其中有一些為嚴重錯誤，如開首句表示“事故發(fā)生”不能用被動態(tài)，而應(yīng)用主動態(tài)“tookplace”；第二段第二句Hardly放在句首，主句應(yīng)用倒裝句等。實例4：5分AnEye-WitnessAccountofaTrafficAccidentItwas8:00thismorning,Iwentonmywaytoschool.WhenIjustattheschoolgate,Isawtheterribletrafficaccidenthappened.Astudentridehisbikeinahighspeed,andjustwhenhearrivedtheschoolgate,alargetrucktraveledoutofthegateandhithimdown.Hefliedover3mbeforehisbikehithimontheground,surely,thepoorboywashurtverybad.Ithinktherearetworeasonsfortheaccident.First,itwasjustthetimewebeganourfirstclass,thebikeriderperhapsdidnotwanttobelate,heridehisbikesofast,evendidn’tlowdownhisspeedatthegate.Second,thetruckistoolarge,andatthattime,thereweretoomanypeoplewalkthroughthegate,sothebikedriverhavenootherwaytochose,buttorideinthemiddleoftheroad.評語：內(nèi)容基本切題。表達思想不清楚，連貫性差。有較多的語言錯誤，如句子的混雜、用詞不準(zhǔn)確（如hurtverybad）、表達不得體等等。實例5：2分AnEye-WitnessAccountofaTrafficAccidentIsawtheTrafficAccidentinTianjinRoad.TheTrafficAccidenthasbeenatthemorning,May1.Twochildrenbybikewenttoschool.Acarissofast,thestreel.Andthecartouchedtwochildrenbybike,andtheTrafficAccidenthashappened.Oneistouchedsofarwayandtheotherisputdown.Marypeoplecomehere,andtheysenttotwochidtenwhogotoHospiton.Waitatime,TheploiemenarriverdintheAccidentplace.Myopiontoin:Thecardriverissofastbycar,andHedidn’tattendationtothechildrenbybikeasidetheroad.Twochildrenbybikedidn’thearedthecarcome.Allofabove,IthinkthecardrivermustbeseriertheTrafficAccident.評語：條理不清，思路紊亂，語言支離破碎，中文思維明顯，大部分句子都有錯誤，且多數(shù)為嚴重錯誤，如chidten，attendation等。2005/1作文試題Directions:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowriteacampaignspeechinsupportofyourelectiontothepostofchairmanofthestudentunion.Youshouldwriteatleast120wordsfollowingtheoutlinegivenbelowinChinese:1.你認為自己具備了什么條件(能力、性格、愛好等)可以勝任學(xué)生會主席的工作？2.如果當(dāng)選你將為本校同學(xué)做些什么?實例1:14分ACampaignSpeechGoodafternoon,everyone:MynameisZhangXu,asophomoreofSchoolofElectricalandElectronicEngineering.I’mverygladtomeetallofyouhere.IneedyoursupportfortheelectionaschairmanoftheStudentUnion.IdohopethatIbelieveI’mcompetentforthepost.Tobeginwith,Iholdtheabilityoforganizationandmanagement.Ihavebeenastudentleadersincemyprimaryschoolyears.NowasclassmonitorandchairmanoftheStudentScienceAssociation,I’mproficientinorganizingmultifariousactivities,bothinsideandoutsideschool.Inaddition,Iamenduedwithaccommodatingcharacterandreceptivetoothersproposalsandopinions.Thesecharactersofminehavebenefitedmealotinthepastyears.IfIamelectedchairmanofthestudentunion,Ivowtoserveallthestudentswithheartandsoul.Mydearstudents,Iwilldomyutmosttoworkforthewelfareforyouandcreatealivelyatmosphereonthecampus.Thankyouverymuch!評語：這篇文章放在第一檔。不難看出這篇范文的成功之處：格式正確，內(nèi)容切題，表達流暢，有說服力，用詞正確得當(dāng)，基本上沒有語言錯誤。作為一篇演講稿，作者抓住了其特點，首先，在第一段當(dāng)中就簡要地介紹了自己的基本情況及演講的目的和希望。在第二段當(dāng)中則條理分明地逐條列舉了自己競選學(xué)生會主席這一職位所具有的條件，能力，以及自己的性格特點等，最后則對自己今后如若當(dāng)選所要做的工作做出了承諾。全文178個詞，重點突出，主題明確，語言禮貌得體，表達清楚明了，條理清晰，遣詞造句準(zhǔn)確，因此可得14分。實例2：11分ACampaignSpeechMydearstudents,MynameisChenChan,I’mverygladtostandhereandhavethechancetorunforthepostofthechairmanoftheStudentUnion.IbelieveIhavethefacultytobechairmanoftheStudentUnion.Firstofall,Iwasacadresincethejuniormiddleschool.AfterIenteredtheuniversity,IhavebeenthesecretaryoftheYouthLeagueforabouttwoyears,andIwasalsoawardedastheExcellentStudentCadrebyourschool.SoI’mgoodatorganizationallkindsofactivities.Besides,I’mwarm-heartedandreadytohelpandserveallthestudents.What’smore,doingsportsismyfavoriteandIlikeparticipatingallsortsofsportsgames.IfIcanbesucceedinthecampaignelection,Iwilltrymybesttoworkhardinthispostandorganizevariousactivitiesforallthestudentssoastomakeourcampuslifefullandcolorful.評語：這篇文章內(nèi)容切題，格式正確，表達思想清楚，文字連貫，第一段當(dāng)中簡要地闡明了演講的目的，第二段一開始就介紹了自己的能力和勝任的原因，條理清晰，恰當(dāng)?shù)剡\用了一些過渡詞，即firstofall,besides,what’smore等，使文章顯得連貫自然。雖然如此，但文章中存在著少量的語言錯誤，如：在第二段的最后一句當(dāng)中，“Ilikeparticipatingallsortsofsportsgames”應(yīng)變成“Ilikeparticipatinginallsortsofsportsgames”。最后一段當(dāng)中的“IfIcanbesucceedinthecampaignelection”中的succeed使用錯誤，應(yīng)該改為“IfIcansucceedinthecampaignelection”。語言錯誤雖不多，但影響了讀者對整篇文章的印象，因此得分低一個檔次。實例3：8分ACampaignSpeechGoodafternoon,everyone.MynameisBiQing.NowIwanttoelectthechairmanoftheStudentUnion.Idohopeyoucansupportmyelectiontothepost.Firstofall,IthinkIhavetalencetotakethepost.Iamcapableoforganization.Iliketoworkforallstudentsandorganizeactivitiesforyou.Second,Ihavegoodcharacteristicsandactiveindoingallkindsofpublicaffairs.I’malsokeenofdoingsportsandtakepartindifferentsportgames.Ifyouchoicemetobethestudentunionchairman,Iwilldomybesttohelpallthestudents.Iwillimproveourlivingconditionsandlearningatmosphereandmakeourlifemorecomfortableandconvenience.評語：這篇文章被放在第三檔，我們可以看到文章基本可以抓住題意，圍繞提綱要求來寫，但格式上沒有體現(xiàn)演講稿的特點，還有些地方表達思想不夠清楚。雖然文字勉強連貫，但語言錯誤相當(dāng)多，其中有一些是嚴重錯誤。所以得分比上一篇文章低了一個檔次，定為8分。主要的問題表現(xiàn)在以下幾處：“NowIwanttoelectthechairmanoftheStudentUnion.”中的elect這個詞用法不對，應(yīng)改為“NowIwanttobeelectedasthechairmanoftheStudentUnion”。第二段首句當(dāng)中的“IthinkIhavetalencetotakethepost.Iamcapableoforganization”，talence這個詞不光拼寫錯了，而且這個地方不太適合使用這個詞，可修改為“IthinkI’mcompetentforthispost.”會更好。“Ihavegoodcharacteristicsandactiveindoingallkindsofpublicaffairs”這句話搭配不當(dāng)，“havegoodcharacteristics”為動賓結(jié)構(gòu)，而active為形容詞，不能放在這個并列結(jié)構(gòu)中，可以改為“Ihavegoodcharacteristicsandholdgreatenthusiasmforthepublicaffairs”。緊隨其后的這句話“I’malsokeenofdoingsportsandtakepartindifferentsportgames”當(dāng)中keen這個詞的搭配不對，應(yīng)該是“keenon”，再還有and前后的并列結(jié)構(gòu)中，形式不一致，應(yīng)改為“doingsportsandtakingpartindifferentsportgames”?！癐fyouchoicemetobethestudentunionchairman”中choice是一個名詞，不能做謂語，并且后面“thestudentunionchairman”的修飾定語表達不當(dāng)，可以修改為“Ifyouchoosemeasthechairmanofthestudentunion”。最后一句當(dāng)中的“makeourlifemorecomfortableandconvenience”，很明顯comfortable是個形容詞，而convenience卻是個名詞，不能組成并列結(jié)構(gòu)，可改為“makeourlifemorecomfortableandconvenient”。實例4：5分ACampaignSpeechIbelieveinme,IhaveconfidenceandabilitiestodowellintheworkoftheStudentUnion.Pleaseapproveofme.I’masophomoreandinterestingintheworkwithstudent.MyclassmateknowsofmewellandthinkofthatIhavenewviewforever—don’tlikeotherswhodon’thavetheircharactors.Inmyopinion,usingyourleadingabilitiesunlimitedisthebestwaytoleadtheStudentUnion.It’simportanttokeepgoodrelationshipwithothersallaroundyou.IfI’mtheChairmanoftheStudentUnion,Imustputmyfirsttimeinitandfinishallwork.AndIwillconnectwithteachersandstudentsverywell.Formyjob,Iwillmakeagoodplan,andcarryoutit.評語：這篇文章寫得不是很切合題意，特別是后面在闡述自己的能力以及性格愛好時，有些地方跟競選學(xué)生會主席這個主題關(guān)系不大。再者，全文連貫性差，尤其是語言表達上不清楚，有些句子不知所云，并伴有較多的嚴重語言錯誤。如：“MyclassmateknowsofmewellandthinkofthatIhavenewviewforever—don’tlikeotherswhodon’thavetheircharactors.”這句話寫得真不知道是什么意思，該怎么去理解，并且knowofmewell,thinkofthat等，都屬于嚴重的語法錯誤；還有后面那句“usingyourleadingabilitiesunlimitedisthebestwaytoleadtheStudentUnion”也讓人匪夷所思。因此，只能得到5分。實例5：2分ACampaignSpeechChairmanoftheStudentUnionisveryimportantintheStudentUnion.Itmusthaveabilitytoworkoutthejob,haveagoodmoralandwilldoanythingforstudent.Icompletewithfocusonthethinking,tryasmuchasmecancomeupwiththesolutionfaculty;Iamwillingtospenttimetodothestudentunionwork.Thereareveryinterestinginforthestudent.IfIelectiontothepostofchairmanofthestudentunion.Iwilltodoalotofthing.Thefirstofone,Iwillthenumberofpeoplepresentiseveryone,leteveryonehaveathelikelyfuturesituationforthestudentunion.Then,inmeetinghavestrongdisagreementaboutthediscusssomething,Iwilltoacceptthedisagreement,letmoststudenttoagreement.評語：這篇習(xí)作條理不清，思路紊亂，語言支離破碎或大部分句子均有錯誤，且多數(shù)為嚴重錯誤。文中很少能看到一個完整正確的句子，可以說是句不成句，文不成文，只能給2分。2005/6作文試題Directions:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowriteashortessayinhonorofteachersontheoccasionofTeacher’sDay.Youshouldwriteatleast120wordsfollowingtheoutlinegivenbelow:1.向老師致以節(jié)日祝賀2.從一件難忘的事來回憶老師的教誨和無私的奉獻3.我如何回報老師的關(guān)愛實例1:14分Teacher’sDayTeachingisthemostsacredandgloriouscareer.September10thisdesignatedasTeacher’sDayinourcountry.Onthisspecialday,I’dliketoexpressmydevoutappreciationtoourlovelyteachers.Thankyouforyourselflessdedicationandindefatigableinstruction.

“Theteacheristhesoulengineerofhumankind.”IstillrememberhowmyteachersencouragedandhelpedmewhenIfellupondarkdays.OnceIfailedinthefinalexam.Atthattime,IfeltsodepressedthatIdespairedofmyfuture.Atthiscriticalmoment,myEnglishteacherhadaheart-to-hearttalkwithme.Shetriedtocheermeupandhelpedmetoanalyzethereasonsformyfailure.Thensheexplainedthepaperwordbywordforme.HerpatienceandaffabilityarousemyardorinlearningEnglish.Myheadteacheralsotoldmenottobeobsessedwiththetestresultsandmademerealizethat“l(fā)ifeisalwaysfullofrosesandthorns”and“failureisthemotherofsuccess.”WhenIwasfeelinglost,itistheteacherswhogavemecourageandconfidence.

AlthoughIdon’tknowwhetherIhavethechancetopaybackallthatIhavereceivedfrommyteachers,Iwillneverfailtoliveuptotheirexpectationsanddomyutmosttobeausefulperson.評語：這篇文章內(nèi)容切題，表達思想清楚，文字通順，連貫性也好，遣詞用句正確，基本上無語法錯誤。第一段向老師致以節(jié)日的祝賀，用語簡練。第二段則從老師這一職業(yè)的高尚性自然地過渡到老師對學(xué)生的悉心關(guān)懷和對自己工作崗位的無私的奉獻，作者用一個詳實的例子有力地證明了這一事實，表達意思清楚，語言自然連貫，用詞精當(dāng)。最后一段則表達自己想如何報答老師的決心，簡明扼要。全文緊扣題意，圍繞提綱要求行文，文筆流暢，基本上沒有語法錯誤，因此可以歸入第一檔。實例2：11分Teacher’sDayThe20thTeacher’sDayisapproaching.ItisaexcitingmomentwhenIcandelivermytrueheartedcongratulationstoourarduousteachersatvariousteachingpost.

Inretrospect,therewassomethingIcanneverforget.Twoyearsago,beforeCollegeEntranceExamination,IwasundersoheavypressurethatIfelthardtofallintoasleepeverynight.Ifeltverynervousandcouldn’tconcentrateonmystudy.Atthattime,myteachercametome,shesaidsheknewwhatIwasafraidof,andshealsotoldmethisanxietyisverycommonamongthestudents.Thenshehelpedmeeasemyanxietyjustlikeapsychologistandtoldmehowtoadjustmybiologicalclocksoastokeepmyselfinagoodcondition.SheeventoldmetocallheranytimeIneedherhelp.Herwordstouchedmealot,IbegantofacetheexaminationbravelyandfortunatelyIpassedtheexaminationandattendtheuniversity.NowIhavebeenacollegestudent,Ican’thelpthinkingaboutmyteachersandherwords.IwillstudyhardandnevergiveupwhenImeetwithanydifficulty.OnlyinthiswayIcanrepaymydearteacher.評語：這篇文章內(nèi)容切題，圍繞題目的三個提綱來組織全文，條理清楚，內(nèi)容充實。行文上比較通順，連貫，表達思想也比較清晰，但有個別地方表達方式不夠地道，明顯受到中文表達方式的影響，比如“IwasundersoheavypressurethatIfeelhardtofallintoasleepeverynight.”這句應(yīng)改為“IhadtobearsogreatpressurethatIcouldhardlyfallintoasleepeverynight”。此外，還有少數(shù)地方存在著語言錯誤，如：“ItisaexcitingmomentwhenIcandelivermy….”中，冠詞使用錯誤，應(yīng)改為“ItisanexcitingmomentwhenIcandelivermy….”?！癟henshehelpedmeeasemyanxietyjustlikeapsychologistandtoldmehowtoadjustmybiologicalclocksoastokeepmyselfinagoodcondition.”中，“keepmyselfinagoodcondition”屬錯用詞組，可改為“keepmyselfingoodcondition”。“SheeventoldmetocallheranytimeIneedherhelp.”中，“anytime”是個副詞，后面不宜再結(jié)句子，可改為“SheeventoldmetocallherwheneverIneedherhelp.”雖然這些錯誤都沒有造成我們對文章所要表達意思的誤解，但是卻使人覺得其語言功底還欠火候，因此歸入第二檔。實例3：8分Teacher’sDayTodayistheteacher’sday.Iwillgivemybestwishestoalltheteachers.Notonlytheyimpartknowledgetome,butalsoshapetheworldforme.Icanrememberitwasthreeyearsago,Iwasselctedbyourschoolheadmastertoattendthematholimpiccompetitioninbehalfofourschool.ButIdidn’thaveself-confidencetowin;especiallyI’mtheonlygirlamongthecompetiters.Myheadteacherencouragedme:“Youarethebestinmyeyes;Ihaveenoughconfidenceinyou.Aslongasyoumakeefforts,it’senough,theresultofthecompetitionisnotsoimportant.”What’smore,hehelpedmewithmystudy.Heenlightenstheroadtoscienceforme,andIbegantomoreinterestedinscience.Inshort,hemademestudyinpleasureandmakesomeprogressinmystudy.NowIaminuniversity,I’llrememberwhatmyteacherhastoldmeforever.Imustworkhardforourcountryandinterestsofallthepeople.評語：這篇文章的內(nèi)容基本切題，但連貫性不太好，特別是一、二段之間沒有恰當(dāng)?shù)氖褂靡恍┻^渡詞，也沒有注意意義上的銜接，因此顯得比較突兀。此外，有些地方表達思想不夠清楚，有些是因為拼寫錯誤造成的，如“selcted”“olimpic”“competiters”，應(yīng)改為“selected”“olympic”“competitors”,這些錯誤充斥在文章中，使閱讀者在理解時還要通過猜測才能了解作者的意圖，有些是因為語言錯誤造成的，其中還有一些是嚴重的語法錯誤，如：“Notonlytheyimpartsknowledgetome,butalsoshapetheworldforme.”應(yīng)該采用倒裝，可改為“Notonlydosetheyimpartknowledgetome,butalsoshapetheworldforme”。“ButIdidn’thaveself-confidencetowin….”可改為“Ihadnoconfidenceinmyselftow