新高考英語(yǔ)概要寫(xiě)作示例與寫(xiě)作訓(xùn)練 (一)

概要寫(xiě)作示例與寫(xiě)作訓(xùn)練1

【寫(xiě)作示例】

【原文呈現(xiàn)】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫(xiě)一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

Regularexercisecanreduceawoman'sriskofcancer,butthebenefitsmayslipawayifshe

getstoolittlesleep,U.S.researcherssaidonMonday.

Thestudyinvolving5,968womeninMarylandconfirmedpreviousfindingsthatpeoplewho

doregularphysicalactivityarelesslikelytodevelopcancer.

Butwhentheresearcherslookedatthewomenages18to65whowereintheupperhalfin

termsoftheamountofphysicalexercisetheygotperweek,theyfoundthatsleepappearedtoplay

animportantroleincancerrisk.

Thosewhosleptlessthansevenhoursnightlyhada47percenthigherriskofcancerthan

thosewhogotmoresleepamongthephysicallyactivewomen,theresearchersreportedata

meetingoftheAmericanAssociationfbrCancerResearch.

“Wethinkit'squiteinterestingandintriguing.It'skindofafirstlookintothis.Itisn't

somethingthathasbeenwidelystudied,JamesMcClainoftheNationalCancerInstitute,partof

theU.S.government'sNationalInstitutesofHealth,saidinatelephoneinterview.

McClain,wholedthestudy,saiditisunclearexactlyhowgettingtoolittlesleepmaymake

onemoresusceptible（易受感染的）tocancer.''Gettingadequatesleephasbeenlongassociated

withhealth,McClainsaid.

TheU.S.CentersforDiseaseControlandPreventioncallssleeplossanunder-recognized

publichealthproblem,sayingAmericansaregettinglessandlessslumber.TheCDCPsaidthe

percentageofadultsreportingsleepingsixhoursorlessanightincreasedfrom1985to2006.

Sleepexpertssaychronicsleeplossisassociatedwithobesity,diabetes,highbloodpressure,

stroke,cardiovasculardisease,depression,cigarettesmokingandexcessivedrinking.

Inaddition,researchhadshownthatpeoplewhogetregularexercisehaveareducedriskof

breast,colonandothertypesofcancer.Expertsthinktheeffectsofexerciseonthebody's

hormonelevels,immunefunctionandbodyweightmayplayanimportantrole.

【思維路徑】

［核心內(nèi)容］

本文是一篇說(shuō)明文。文章介紹了一項(xiàng)科學(xué)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)。第一段科技報(bào)道類(lèi)文章的中心所在，

該段告訴我們文章主要說(shuō)明的要點(diǎn)：經(jīng)常鍛煉可以降低婦女患癌癥的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)，但是如果睡眠不

足，鍛煉的這種好處也將不存在。文章的第二、三、四段講述了該項(xiàng)研究中的具體的方法與

數(shù)據(jù)統(tǒng)計(jì)。文章的第五、六段講述了研究者對(duì)這個(gè)研究結(jié)果的看法與評(píng)論。文章的第七段講

述了美國(guó)疾病控制與預(yù)防中心對(duì)睡眠不足的看法。第八段進(jìn)一步引證有關(guān)睡眠專(zhuān)家對(duì)睡眠不

足帶來(lái)的負(fù)面影響的看法。最后，第九段又回到該項(xiàng)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)上，告訴我們經(jīng)常鍛煉可以降

低患那些癌癥的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)及其原因。

［寫(xiě)作思路］

⑴熟悉文本類(lèi)型，把握表述特征。通過(guò)文章第一段中的"U.S.researcherssaidonMonday"

可知，本文是一篇科研報(bào)告?？蒲袌?bào)告類(lèi)的寫(xiě)作一般會(huì)在文章的開(kāi)頭部分交代文章的中心，

然后具體介紹研究的設(shè)計(jì)、實(shí)施以及數(shù)據(jù)分析等，最后會(huì)根據(jù)相關(guān)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)進(jìn)一步展開(kāi)說(shuō)明

研究可能會(huì)帶來(lái)的影響等。通過(guò)分析文本類(lèi)型及其表述特征，我們可以準(zhǔn)確地篩選文章的中

心及其各個(gè)部分的分論點(diǎn)。

(2)理清文章結(jié)構(gòu)，概括段落大意。根據(jù)(1)部分的分析，我們可以進(jìn)一步的梳理文章的

層次結(jié)構(gòu)：第一段是文章的點(diǎn)題；第二至地四段是文章的數(shù)據(jù)分析；第五、六段是研究者的

評(píng)論；第七、八段是引用他人的觀點(diǎn)來(lái)進(jìn)一步分析自己的發(fā)現(xiàn)；第九段則是進(jìn)一步分析本研

究。通過(guò)對(duì)文章層次的梳理，我們可以逐一羅列文章的中心及其各個(gè)分述的分論點(diǎn)。

(3)確定表述中心，連貫表達(dá)要點(diǎn)。在(2)的基礎(chǔ)上，我們可以逐一列出要表述的中心：

第一一段弓I出文章中心、，即Regularexercisecanreduceawoman'sriskofcancer,butthebenefits

mayslipawayifshegetstoolittlesleep（要點(diǎn)1）；第二至四段是第一個(gè)分論點(diǎn)，即Peoplewhodo

regularphysicalactivityarelesslikelytodevelopcancer,butthosewhosleeplessthanseven

hoursnightlyhavehigherrisk.（要點(diǎn)2）；第五、六段引出第二個(gè)分論點(diǎn),即Thisresearchisquite

new,soitisstillunclearexactlyhowsleepinglittlemaymakeonemoresusceptibletocancer.（要

點(diǎn)3）；第七、八段引出第三個(gè)分論點(diǎn),即Sleeplossmaygiverisetosuchhealthproblemsas

obesity,diabetes,stroke,depressionandsoon.（要點(diǎn)4）；最后一段進(jìn)一步引出研究的發(fā)現(xiàn)，即

Regularexercisesmayhaveanactiveeffectonthebody'shonnonelevels,immunefunctionand

bodyweightwhichthusmayreducetheriskofcancer.（要點(diǎn)5）。在理清每部分的中心之后，我

們可以利用有效的銜接手段，把這些要點(diǎn)組織成一個(gè)意義連貫的語(yǔ)篇。

［參考范文］

USresearchershavefoundthatregularexercisesmayhaveanactiveeffectonthebody's

hormonelevels,immunefunctionandbodyweightwhichthusmayreducetheriskofcancer（要

點(diǎn)1,要點(diǎn)5）,butthebenefitsmayslipawayifshegetstoolittlesleep（要點(diǎn)1）,especiallyless

thansevenhoursnightly（要點(diǎn)2）whichmaycausesuchhealthproblemsasobesity,depression

andsoon.（要點(diǎn)4）However,itisstillunclearexactlyhowsleepinglittlemaymakepeoplemore

susceptibletocancer.（要點(diǎn)3）（76words）

［范文解析］

范文把要點(diǎn)1分為兩部分并且與要點(diǎn)5、要點(diǎn)2、要點(diǎn)4進(jìn)行整合，這樣使得文章更加

緊湊、言簡(jiǎn)意賅。范文把要點(diǎn)5放在了開(kāi)頭，這樣先交代了regularexercises之所以能夠降

低患癌癥的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)的原因；在這之后，用銜接詞but把要點(diǎn)1的后半部分整合了進(jìn)去，要點(diǎn)2

正好也對(duì)要點(diǎn)1的后半部分進(jìn)行了進(jìn)一步的細(xì)化與解釋?zhuān)淮送庖c(diǎn)4縮寫(xiě)成一個(gè)which引導(dǎo)

的定語(yǔ)從句，進(jìn)一步說(shuō)明睡眠不足帶來(lái)的健康問(wèn)題。最后用however引入要點(diǎn)3,說(shuō)明了該

項(xiàng)研究所存在的不足，這也正好符合科研報(bào)告類(lèi)文章的寫(xiě)作特點(diǎn)。

［提煉歸納］

1、關(guān)注文本的特征?？s寫(xiě)是對(duì)原文要點(diǎn)的綜述，因而其表達(dá)方式或陳述方式也必須與

原文相符合。本文是一篇科研報(bào)告，所以在縮寫(xiě)部分就要點(diǎn)明是誰(shuí)做的研究、研究的結(jié)果怎

樣、以及研究是如何進(jìn)行的等。

2、注重語(yǔ)義的轉(zhuǎn)換?？s寫(xiě)很大程度上依賴(lài)于對(duì)原有的句子表達(dá)的濃縮與改寫(xiě)，這就需

要對(duì)原文語(yǔ)句進(jìn)行語(yǔ)義轉(zhuǎn)換，包括使用非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞短語(yǔ)替換原句子，或者用定語(yǔ)從句整合兩

個(gè)句子之間的關(guān)系等。范文中對(duì)要點(diǎn)1、2、4、5的整合就充分體現(xiàn)了在縮寫(xiě)中語(yǔ)義轉(zhuǎn)換的

重要性。

3、強(qiáng)化整合的邏輯。要點(diǎn)整合涉及到事件或觀點(diǎn)之間的時(shí)間先后、條件、因果關(guān)系等

邏輯關(guān)系，因而在縮寫(xiě)的過(guò)程中，需充分關(guān)注各個(gè)要點(diǎn)之間的邏輯關(guān)系，并在此基礎(chǔ)上對(duì)原

文要點(diǎn)進(jìn)行合理地整合。

【寫(xiě)作演練】

1.閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫(xiě)一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要

FirstOffer:TakeItorKeepWaiting

Anyonewhohassearchedforajobfreshoutofcollegeknowshowdifficultitistogetthat

firstjob.Andifyou'reverylucky,eventuallythere'sajobofferonthetable.Shouldyougraspit,

orwaitforsomethingbettertocomealongtheway?

Itdependsonwhetheryouarea"maximizer"ora"satisficer".Simplyput,satisficersare

morelikelytocuttheirjobsearchshortandtakethefirstjoboffer.Maximizersaremorelikelyto

continuesearchinguntilabetterjoboffercomesalong.Whichtypeofapproachyieldsthebetter

payoff?Amaximizer.Specifically,quotingtheresultsofastudyofthejobsearchof548members

ofaschool,themaximizersputthemselvesthroughmoredifficultiesinthejobhunt.Theyapplied

totwentyjobs,onaverage,whilesatisficersappliedtoonlyten,andtheyweresignificantlymore

likelytomakeuseofoutsidesourcesofinformationandsupport.Butitturnedouttobeworthit:

thejobofferstheygotweresignificantlybetter,intermsofsalary,thanwhatthesatisficersgot.

Satisficerswereofferedjobswithanaveragestartingsalaryof$37,085;theaveragestarting

salaryofferedtomaximizerswas$44,515,morethan20percenthigher.Thetroubleis,however,

thathigherpaydoesn'tmakemaximizersahappiergroupthansatisficers.Infact,maximizers

weresignificantlymorelikelythansatisficerstobeunhappywiththeofferstheyaccepted.

Evidently,beingamaximizercanhelpyouearnmoreincome,butthatincomedoesn'tbuy

morehappiness,asthemaximizer'slikelytoworryabouttheprospectofabetterjobofferout

thereheorshemissed.Maximizersmayhaveobjectivelysuperioroutcomes,butthey'resobusy

obsessingaboutallthethingsthattheycouldhavehad,sotheytendtobelesshappywiththe

outcomestheydoget.

2.閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫(xiě)一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

Humanbeingsaresmart.However,itseemsthatpeoplearegraduallylosingtheirsmartness

assmartphonesbecomemoreandmoreimportantassistantsintheirlives,reportednewswebsite

RecordJapanonOct.22.Aswerelytoomuchontechnologyinsteadofourbrains,manypeople

havelostthreebasicabilities,saidthewebsite.

Thefirstskillmanypeoplehavelostisrememberingphonenumbers.Becausephone

numbersarestoredinsmartphonecontacts,there'snoneedtodialanumberorlookatitagain.

Andsomepeoplemayalsohavelosttheirsenseofdirectionbecausenavigationappscanguide

peopleanywheretheywanttogo.Theseappscanevenfindshortestroutesforyouandavoid

trafficjams.Buttheworstlostskillsmaybesocialones,meaningthatsomepeoplearebecoming

sociallyinept（無(wú)能的）.Peopleoftenburythemselvesintheirsmartphones.Aswe'retooaddicted

towhat'shappeninginthevirtualworld,someofushavelostconversationalskillsandsometimes

can'teventellwhetherapersonishappyornot.

InAugust,researchersattheUniversityofCalifornia,LosAngeles,studied51studentsaged

11and12whohadoverfivehours'screentimeeveryday.Theirtaskwastotelltheemotionsof

48picturesoffacesthatwerehappy,sad,angryorscared.Thechildrenmadeanaverageof14.02

mistakesatthebeginning.Butafterafive-daycampwithoutelectronic（電子的）products,they

madeonly9.41mistakesonaverage.<4Ifyou'renotpracticingface-to-facecommunication,you

couldbelosingimportantsocialskills,“concludedprofessorYaldaUhlsfromtheresearch.

Luckily,peoplestillhaveachancetogettheseabilitiesback.Youshouldtrytokeepyour

parents*numbersinmindforemergencies.Youshouldalsopaymoreattentiontostreetsignsand

stores,whichwillhelpyoutodrawamindmapandstopyoufromgettinglost.Andtheeasiest

solutiontosocialskilllossistotakeabreakfromelectronicdevicesbecausewearesocial

creatures.Weneeddevice-freetime.

3.閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫(xiě)一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

Happy,angry,amazed-thesearesomeoftheemotionsweliketoexpressthesedayswhen

we'resendingamessageonoursmartphones!That'swhymanyofusnowaddlittlepicturesto

ourtextstobrightenupsomeone'smobilescreenbutwe'realsousingthemasaquickwayof

tellingsomeonehowwe'refeeling.Yes,emojishavebecomeavitaltoolforcommunication.

TheemojiwasfirstinventedinJapaninthelate1990sandtheword"emoji“comesfromthe

Japanesewordsfor“picture"and“character".Thenumberofdifferentimageshasdramatically

increasedsincethenandnowwehaveapictureforeverymoodorsituation.

Sonowwehavetheoptiontogivethisnewcreationthevisual"thumbs-up“buthaveyou

thoughtwhywe'vebecomesoaddictedtousingemojis?Professor\^vEvanshaswrittenabook

calledTheEmojiCode.Hesays,'increasingly,whatwe'refindingisthatdigitalcommunication

istakingoverfromcertainaspectsofface-to-faceinteraction.Oneofthereasonsemojisareso

interestingisthattheyreallydoenableustoexpressouremotionalselvesmuchmoreeffectively.”

Soemojisareasortofreplacementforthevisualsignalsornon-verbalclueswenormallygive

whenwespeaktosomeoneface-to-face.

Anotheradvantageofemojisisthattheyareaninternationallanguage-theydon'tusewords

buttellamessageintheformofpicturessotheycanbeeasilyunderstoodwhateveryournative

languageis.However,theemojisyousendneedsomethoughtastheycansometimesbe

misunderstood-ifafriendsendsyouanemojiofahammer,youmaythinkheisangrywhen

reallyheissayinghehashurthimselforheisclumsy!

Emojisareagoodwayfbrshowingcommonemotions.ButaslinguistNeilCohnsays,“To

many,emojisareanexcitingdevelopmentofthewaywecommunicate;Toothers,theyare

extinctionoflanguage.^^Itdoesshowthereisalotmoretoourcommunicationthanwordsalone

butdoesthismeanthedeclineintraditionalwriting?

4.閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫(xiě)一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

Whyistheworld'spopulationgrowing?Theanswerisnotwhatyoumightthink.Thereason

fortheexplosionisnotthatpeoplehavebeenreproducinglikerabbits,butthatpeoplehave

stoppeddroppingdeadlikeflies.In1900,peoplediedattheaverageageof3O.By2000the

averageagewas65.Butwhileincreasinghealthwasatypicalfeatureofthe20thcentury,

decliningbirthratecouldbeadefiningoneofthe21st.

Statisticsshowthattheaveragenumberofbirthsperwomanhasfallenfrom4.9intheearly

1960sto2.5nowadays.Furthermore,around50%oftheworld'spopulationliveinregionswhere

thefigureisnowbelowthereplacementlevel(i.e.2.1birthsperwoman)andalmostalldeveloped

nationsareexperiencingsub-replacementbirthrate.Youmightthinkthatdevelopingnations

wouldmakeuptheloss(especiallysince80%oftheworld'speoplenowliveinsuchnations),but

you'dbewrong.Decliningbirthrateisamajorprobleminmanydevelopingregionstoo,which

mightcausecatastrophicglobalshortagesofworkforcewithinafewdecades.

AgreatdeclineinyoungworkforceislikelytooccurinChina,fbrinstance.Whatdoesit

imply?First,Chinaneedstoundergorapideconomicdevelopmentbeforeapopulationdecline

hitsthecountry.Second,ifotherfactorssuchastechnologyremainconstant,economicgrowthand

materialexpectationswillfallwellbelowrecentstandardsandthiscouldinvitetrouble.

Russiaisanothercountrywithpopulationproblemsthatcouldbreakitseconomic

promise.Since1992thenumberofpeopledyinghasbeenbiggerthanthatofthosebeingbornbya

massive50%.Indeedofficialfiguressuggestthecountryhasshrunkby5%since1993andpeople

inRussialiveashorterlifenowthanthosein1961.Whyisthisoccurring?Nobodyisquitesure,

butpoordietandabovealllong-timealcoholismhavemuchtodowithit.Ifcurrenttrendsdon't

bend,Russia'spopulationwillbeaboutthesizeofYemen'sbytheyear2050.

InthenorthofIndia,thepopulationisboomingduetohighbirthrates,butinthesouth,

wheremosteconomicdevelopmentistakingplace,birthrateisfallingrapidly.Inafurthertwist,

birthrateishighestinpoorlyeducatedruralareasandlowestinhighlyeducatedurbanareas.In

total,25%ofIndia'sworking-agepopulationhasnoeducation.In2030,asixthofthecountry's

potentialworkforcecouldbetotallyuneducated.

Onesolutionisobviouslytoimportforeignworkersviaimmigration.AsfortheUSA,itis

almostuniqueamongdevelopednationsinhavingapopulationthatisexpectedtogrowby20%

from2010—2030.Moreover,theUSAhasatrackrecordofsuccessfullyacceptingimmigrants.As

aresultit'slikelytoseeariseinthesizeofitsworking-agepopulationandtowitnessstrong

economicgrowthoverthelongerterm.

5.閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫(xiě)一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

Onlineschoolsarebecomingverypopulartoday.Whetheritisworkingprofessionalswho

cannotaffordthetimetogotoafull-timecollegebecauseoftheirhugeworkloadorstay-at-home

mumswhohavemanydutiesandcannotjoininacollege,onlineschoolsaremuchenjoyedatall.

Andnow,evenregularstudents,whohavethetimetogotocollege,aregoinginforonline

education,asitleavesthemwithenoughtimetopursueotherthings,suchasapart-timejobora

hobby,alongwithstudying.However,aswitheverything,therearebothadvantagesand

disadvantagesofonlineschooling.

Let'sstartwiththepositives.Theseschoolscostmuchless.Youdon'thavetospendmoney

onbuyingbooksorbusfees.Anotheradvantageistheflexibilityitprovides.Youcanstudyatany

timeduringtheday.Youcanstudywhereveryouwant--inyourhouse,atacafeoreveninapark.

Moveontothedisadvantagesofonlineschooling.Thosestudentswhoalwaysneedapush

fromtheirteacherstodowell,areverylikelynottodowellinonlineschools.Andthegreatest

disadvantagegoingtoschoolonlineisthattherearemanyemployerswhopreferstudentswitha

traditionaldegreetothosewhohaveanonlinedegree.Theemployersfeelthatstudentswhogoto

full-timecollegesaremoreknowledgeablecomparedtothosewhohaveonlinedegrees.Sincethe

verypurposeofeducationistolandapersonagoodjob,onlinedegrees,manyatime,donotserve

thispuipose.

Nodoubtthatonlineschoolsofferthefreedomwhichnoregularcollegecanprovide.

Howeverhowmuchtheemployerswillvaluethedegreesandwhetherastudentcanactuallymake

hisownstudyscheduleandmostimportantly,sticktoit,dependuponindividuals(AA).Sointhe

end,itcanberightlysaid,onlineschoolsaregoodforsome,whileothersshouldgivethemaskip.

答案與解析

1.【參考范文】

Facingthefirstjoboffer,satisficersprobablygraspitwhilemaximizerswilllikelykeep

waitingforabetterone.Havingsubmittedmoreapplicationsthanthesatisficer,maximizersare

morelikelytohavebetterpayoff.However,despitethehighersalary,maximizersaremore

worriedabouttheotherworkingopportunitiestheymissed,sotheyarelesshappythansatisficers.

(57words)

【解析】

這是一篇概要寫(xiě)作，完成本題主要依賴(lài)于對(duì)文章中心內(nèi)容的精準(zhǔn)提煉和概括。

與文章保持一致，進(jìn)行概要寫(xiě)作時(shí)應(yīng)使用第三人稱(chēng)、一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)。分析原文內(nèi)容，第一

段是引入，且無(wú)實(shí)質(zhì)內(nèi)容，只是一個(gè)設(shè)問(wèn)，可不進(jìn)行概括。第二、三、四段主要講了三層內(nèi)

容。

第一層：易于滿(mǎn)足者比利益最大化者更容易找到工作，利益最大化者要等久一點(diǎn)；

第二層：然而，利益最大化者工資起薪更高；

第三層：雖然工資更高，但她們并不快樂(lè)、幸福。

據(jù)此，可以進(jìn)行本篇概要寫(xiě)作。

【范文點(diǎn)評(píng)】

本篇概要寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)全面，語(yǔ)言凝練，使用了現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語(yǔ)的表達(dá)，如Facingthefirstjob

offer和Havingsubmittedmoreapplicationsthanthesatisficer,同時(shí)，despitethehighersalary

這樣的短語(yǔ)表達(dá)也十分出彩。

2.【參考范文】

Smartphonesareplayinganincreasinglyimportantroleinpeople'slife,buttheyarealso

deprivingpeopleofthreebasicabilities.Foronething,somepeoplelosetheabilitytoremember

telephonenumbers.Secondly,somepeoplelosetheirsenseofdirection.Third,somepeoplelose

theirsocialskills.Fortunately,peoplecanreclaimtheseabilitiesbyreturningtothewaytheyused

tobe.Mostimportantly,weneedsometimewithoutcellphones.

【解析】

本文是一篇議論文。文章以論證的方式說(shuō)明了智能手機(jī)時(shí)代給人們帶來(lái)的三種能力的喪

失，以及如何恢復(fù)這三種能力。

本文是一篇概要寫(xiě)作，要求寫(xiě)出文章的主題大意和要點(diǎn)，要寫(xiě)全要點(diǎn)，抓住重點(diǎn)，要使

用自己比較熟悉的詞匯、短語(yǔ)和句型，恰當(dāng)使用過(guò)渡詞和連接詞，以使文章連貫、流暢。要

盡量使用高級(jí)詞匯和句型、各種從句以及非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞等高級(jí)形式，以體現(xiàn)較高的寫(xiě)作水平。

本文寫(xiě)作時(shí)人稱(chēng)以第三人稱(chēng)為主，時(shí)態(tài)采用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)。

在寫(xiě)作時(shí)應(yīng)注意把握本文文章要點(diǎn)：1.智能手機(jī)在人們生活中扮演著重要角色，但也

給人們帶來(lái)了三種能力的喪失;2.有人喪失了記憶電話(huà)號(hào)碼的能力;3.有人喪失了方向感；

4.有人喪失了社交技能；5.應(yīng)該積極找回這些能力。有時(shí)候，我們需要一些沒(méi)有手機(jī)在身邊

的時(shí)候。寫(xiě)作時(shí)應(yīng)注意上下文連貫及詞數(shù)要求。

【范文點(diǎn)評(píng)】

范文內(nèi)容完整，要點(diǎn)全面，語(yǔ)言規(guī)范，語(yǔ)篇連貫，詞數(shù)適當(dāng)，上下文意思連貫，符合邏

輯關(guān)系。作者在范文中使用了不少固定用法，比如：playanimportantrolein,senseofdirection

等讓文章增色不少。文章長(zhǎng)短結(jié)合，錯(cuò)落有致，語(yǔ)句自然。

3.【參考范文】

Emojishavebecomeimportantincommunication.SincethecreationinJapaninthe1990s,

theirnumberhasrisensosharplythatnoweachemotionhasacorrespondingemoji.Theyreplace

non-verballanguagesinface-to-facecommunicationduetoitsefficiencyinconveyingfeelings

whileemojiscancausemisunderstanding：theyaddcolortocommunication,theymayindicatethe

weakeningoftraditionalwriting.

【解析】

寫(xiě)作步驟

1）細(xì)讀原文。首先要仔細(xì)閱讀短文，掌握文章主旨。文章介紹了表情符號(hào)在交流中的重

要地位，歷史演變過(guò)程以及表情符號(hào)的優(yōu)點(diǎn)與它可能會(huì)造成的一些問(wèn)題。

2）弄清結(jié)構(gòu)，歸納段意。概要寫(xiě)作是寫(xiě)全文概要，不是寫(xiě)某一部分的概要，或者就某些

問(wèn)題寫(xiě)出要點(diǎn)。因此一定要弄清文章結(jié)構(gòu)，歸納文章各段大意。本文第一描寫(xiě)表情符號(hào)在如

今交流中的運(yùn)用；第二段描寫(xiě)表情符號(hào)的歷史演變進(jìn)程；第三、四段描寫(xiě)表情符號(hào)的優(yōu)點(diǎn)；

第五段描寫(xiě)表情符號(hào)的運(yùn)用可能會(huì)產(chǎn)生的一些問(wèn)題和缺點(diǎn)。

3)列出原文要點(diǎn)。分析原文的內(nèi)容和結(jié)構(gòu)，將內(nèi)容分項(xiàng)扼要表述并注意在結(jié)構(gòu)上的順序。

在此基礎(chǔ)上選出與文章主題密切相關(guān)的部分。本文中要點(diǎn)有三:第一，介紹表情符號(hào)的地位；

第二，表情符號(hào)的歷史演變；第三，表情符號(hào)的優(yōu)點(diǎn)；第四，表情符號(hào)會(huì)造成的問(wèn)題。

4)在寫(xiě)作時(shí)要特別注意下面幾點(diǎn)：

(1)概要應(yīng)包括原文中的主要事實(shí)，略去不必要的細(xì)節(jié)。

(2)安排好篇幅的比例，概要應(yīng)同原文保持協(xié)調(diào)，即用較多的文字寫(xiě)重要內(nèi)容，用較少的文

字寫(xiě)次要內(nèi)容。

(3)注意要點(diǎn)之間的銜接，要用適當(dāng)?shù)年P(guān)聯(lián)詞語(yǔ)貫通全文，切忌只簡(jiǎn)單地寫(xiě)出一些互不相干

的句子，但也不要每?jī)删渲g都加關(guān)聯(lián)詞語(yǔ)，以免顯得生硬。

(4)不排斥用原文的某些詞句，但不要照搬原文的句子，如果不能完全用自己的話(huà)語(yǔ)表達(dá)，

至少對(duì)原文句子做一些同義詞替換，如果結(jié)構(gòu)上也能有一些轉(zhuǎn)換會(huì)更好。

(5)計(jì)算詞數(shù)，看是否符合規(guī)定的詞數(shù)要求。

【范文點(diǎn)評(píng)】

范文內(nèi)容完整，語(yǔ)言規(guī)范，語(yǔ)篇連貫，詞數(shù)適當(dāng)。作者在范文中使用了較多高級(jí)表達(dá)方

式，如SincethecreationinJapaninthe1990s,theirnumberhasrisensosharplythatnoweach

emotionhasacorrespondingemoji.運(yùn)用了結(jié)果狀語(yǔ)從句。Theyreplacenon-verballanguagesin

face-to-facecommunicationduetoitsefficiencyinconveyingfeelingswhileemojiscancause

misunderstanding運(yùn)用了while表前后對(duì)比。全文中沒(méi)有中國(guó)式英語(yǔ)的句式，顯示了很高的

駕馭英語(yǔ)的能力。另外，文章思路清晰、層次分明，上下句轉(zhuǎn)換自然，為文章增色添彩。

4.【參考范文】

Theimpactofdroppingbirthrateinthe21stcenturymaybedisastroustobot