TED演講 接受挑戰(zhàn)直面困難把失敗當(dāng)做成功的墊腳石

TheSecrettoOvercomingFailure接受挑戰(zhàn)，直面困難，把失敗當(dāng)做成功的墊腳石！Whatisyourbiggestfailure?Haveyoubeenabletomovepastit?Doesitstillimpactdailylife?Lastyear,Ifailedtoaccomplishaveryimportantpersonalgoal,somethingthatbroughtmetomyknees.Today,I’mgoingtosharethatstorywithyou,andalsothelessonsthatI’vediscoveredabouthowtoovercomeit.你最大的失敗是什么？你是否已經(jīng)走出了它的陰影？它還會影響日常生活嗎？去年，我沒能完成一個非常重要的個人目標(biāo)，這件事幾乎把我擊垮了。今天，我將與大家分享這個故事，以及我是如何克服失敗的。Let’sstartbydoingalittlevisualization.Sopleasegetcomfortableinyourseat.Perhapstakealong,deepbreath.AndI’dlikeyoutothinkaboutthegreatestsuccessthatyou’veeverexperienced.Now,takealittletripbackintime.Canyourememberwhenyousetthegoal?Canyourememberalltheplanningthatyoudidthathelpedyouachievethatsuccess?OK,now,clearyourminds.Onemorevisualization.Thistime,Iwantyoutothinkaboutthatbigfailure.Again,gobackintime.Canyourememberwhenyousetthatgoal?Canyourememberalltheplanningthatyoudidthatdidn’tcometofruition?Perhapsyoucanremembertheexactmomentwhenyouknewthatyouweregoingtofail.Andmaybejustthethoughtofthatfailureisbringingbacklotsoffeelingsofshame.Ifyou’reanythinglikeme,itwasmucheasiertothinkaboutthefailureandtheplanningthatdidn’tcometofruitionthanthesuccess.讓我們先來做一個小小想象。請?jiān)谧簧献?，深呼吸，我想讓你想想你所?jīng)歷過的最大的成功?，F(xiàn)在，讓我們回到過去。你還記得你是什么時(shí)候制定的目標(biāo)嗎？你還記得你所做的幫助你取得成功的所有計(jì)劃嗎？好了，現(xiàn)在理清思路，再來一次想象。這一次，我要你們想想某次重大失敗。再次，回到過去。你還記得你是什么時(shí)候設(shè)定的目標(biāo)嗎？你還記得你所做的那些沒有實(shí)現(xiàn)的計(jì)劃嗎？也許你還記得你知道自己會失敗的確切時(shí)刻，也許只要一想到失敗，你就會感到羞愧?？赡苣愫臀乙粯樱氲绞『蜎]有實(shí)現(xiàn)的計(jì)劃要比想到的成功容易得多。Letmetalktoyoualittlebitaboutmygoal.Inlate2021,Ibegantohavealittlebitofamidlifecrisis.Whenmyfatherwas48yearsold,hehadaheartattackthatnearlyendedhislife.AsIapproachedmymid-forties,witheverypassingyear,that’sallIcouldreallythinkabout.IknewthatIneededtomakeachangeinmylife.Andlikemostthingsinmylife,Iwantedtodosomethingbig.IneededtoprovetomyselfandeveryoneelsearoundmethatIwasn’tgoingtohavethesamefate,thatIwasgoingtodosomethingdifferent.Runninghasalwaysbeenapassionformyfamily.Irememberasasmallchildwatchingmyfatherdomanyraces,andIhadalwayshopedthatI’dbeabletodothesamesomeday.Iwasabletorunamarathonwithmydadafewyearsafterhehadhisheartattack.ThiswasagreatexperiencethatI’llcertainlycherishfortherestofmylife.現(xiàn)在我要談一談關(guān)于我之前的一些目標(biāo)。2021年末，我開始有一點(diǎn)中年危機(jī)。在我父親48歲那年，他突發(fā)心臟病，差點(diǎn)結(jié)束了生命。在我接近四十歲的時(shí)候，每過一年，我滿腦子想的都是這件事。我知道，我需要改變我的生活方式。就像我生命中的大多數(shù)事情一樣，我想做一些大事，我需要向我自己和周圍的人證明，我不會重蹈覆轍，我要做一些與眾不同的事情。跑步一直是我家人的愛好，我記得小時(shí)候看著父親參加過很多比賽，我一直希望有一天我也能這樣做。在父親心臟病發(fā)作幾年后，我和他一起參加了馬拉松比賽，這是一次難忘的經(jīng)歷，我一定會終生珍惜。AsIwastryingtodeterminewhatkindofgoalthatIwantedtoset,Iknewthatamarathonprobablywasn’tgoingtocutit.Irememberasachild,oneparticularracethatIwatchedmyfatherrunthatIwassuperimpressedwith.ItwascalledTheHoodtocoastRelayRace,aracethatstartedattheMountHoodSkiResortandendedinseaside,Oregon,astheparticipantsranacrossthesandtothefinishline.That’sthetypeofracethatIwaslooking.SoIwentonthehunttoseeifIcouldfindsomethingsimilar,andIfounditinthisracecalledTheRut.TheRutisaseriesofracesthatarehostedinBigSky,MontanaeverySeptember.There’smultipledistances,butthe28Kdistanceisthemostpopular,andmanywouldsaythemostchallengingoftheentireseries.Thisraceisregularlylistedinthetoptenmostdifficultracesintheworld.Itinvolvesalmost8,000feetofelevationgain.Asyousumit,multiple10,000footpeaks.ThiswasthetypeofraceIwaslookingfor.當(dāng)我試圖確定我想要設(shè)定什么樣的目標(biāo)時(shí)，我知道馬拉松可能無法滿足我。我記得小時(shí)候看父親參加的一場比賽給我留下了深刻的印象。那是一場從胡德山滑雪度假村出發(fā)，在俄勒岡州海濱結(jié)束的比賽，參賽者穿過沙地跑向終點(diǎn)線。這正是我所尋找的比賽。于是，我開始尋找是否能找到類似的比賽，結(jié)果找到了一場名為TheRut的比賽。TheRut是每年九月在蒙大拿州舉辦的系列比賽，比賽有不同的路段距離，但28公里距離是最受歡迎的，很多人也會說這是整個系列賽中最具挑戰(zhàn)性的。這項(xiàng)比賽經(jīng)常被列入世界十大最難比賽，它涉及近8000英尺的海拔落差?？偠灾?，要翻越多座10000多英尺的山峰，這正是我正想尋找的比賽。Now,lookingbackonitnow,asIevenjustsetthisgoal,acoupleofthingshappenedthatIdidn’treallyrealizeatthetime,butIcouldfeelit.Myserotoninanddopaminelevelswereontherise.Thesewouldhelpmetoreallyimaginebeingsuccessfulininthisgoal.Also,theamygdalainmybrainwastryingtodeterminejusthowimportantthisgoalwastome.ItwouldusethattohelpworkwithmyfrontallobeasIstartedtoplanforhowIwasgoingtotrainforthisrace,thiswasanextremelyimportantgoalforme.SoIwasfeelinggreat.Ihadallthemotivationintheworld,andnowIneededtoplan.Ispokewithseveralpeoplewhohadcompetedinandcompletedtheraceinyearspast,andtheyguidedmetoanonlinetrainingguidethatcouldbepurchased,atrainingguidethatwouldgivemeweekbyreconstructionsofexactlyhowlongtorun.Soundedperfecttome,soIpurchasedthatguideandstartedtraining.Ialsodidwhatprobablyanybodyelsewoulddoin2022,whichisIsharedmygoal,andeverystepalongthewayoneverysocialmediaplatformIhadaccessto,thisactuallyhelpedalotwithmymotivation,aseverylikeandpositivecommentonmypostswasjustextrafueltothefire.SoIwasready.Iwasprepared.Andthencameraceday.現(xiàn)在回想起來，就在我剛剛設(shè)定這個目標(biāo)的時(shí)候，發(fā)生了幾件事，我當(dāng)時(shí)并沒有真正意識到，但我能感覺到。我的血清素和多巴胺在上升，這些會幫助我真正想象成功實(shí)現(xiàn)這一目標(biāo)的情景。同時(shí)，我大腦中的杏仁核也在試圖確定這個目標(biāo)對我有多重要。當(dāng)我開始計(jì)劃如何為這次比賽進(jìn)行訓(xùn)練時(shí)，它會利用這一點(diǎn)來幫助我的額葉工作，因?yàn)檫@對我來說是一個極其重要的目標(biāo)。所以我感覺非常好，我擁有全世界所有的動力，現(xiàn)在我需要制定計(jì)劃。我與幾位在過去幾年中參加并完成過比賽的人進(jìn)行了交談，他們指導(dǎo)我購買了一份在線訓(xùn)練指南，這份訓(xùn)練指南將為我提供一周的訓(xùn)練計(jì)劃，告訴我到底要跑多長時(shí)間。對我來說，這聽起來很完美，于是我購買了該指南并開始訓(xùn)練。我還做了其他人在2022年可能都會做的事，那就是在我能接觸到的所有社交媒體平臺上分享我的目標(biāo)，以及一路走來的每一步，這實(shí)際上對我的動力有很大幫助，因?yàn)槲姨由系拿恳粋€贊和積極評論都在激勵著我。所以，我認(rèn)為我已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備好了。比賽日就這樣到來了。Raceday,andBigSkyMontanain2022,wasunseasonablyhot,almostahundreddegrees.Theraceisranalmostentirelyabovetreeline,whichmeansthatyoujustareexposedtotheelementsnearlytheentiretime.Inyearspast,10%to15%oftheparticipantsendupdroppingoutoftherace.In2022,twicethatamount.Therearefourcheckpointsalongthewayintheracewithstricttimecutoffstoensurethesafetyoftherunners.Atthefourthandfinalcheckpoint,over14milesintoanearly18-milerace,Imissedthetimecutoffbylessthan5minutes.比賽當(dāng)天，2022年的蒙大拿州大天空地區(qū)異常炎熱，氣溫幾乎高達(dá)100華氏度。比賽幾乎完全在樹線以上進(jìn)行，這意味著你幾乎全程都暴露在大自然中。往年，10%到15%的參賽者最終會退出比賽。2022年，這個數(shù)字翻了一番。比賽沿途有四個檢查站，嚴(yán)格規(guī)定了時(shí)間截點(diǎn)，以確保選手的安全。在第四個也是最后一個檢查點(diǎn)，也就是在將近18英里的比賽中超過14英里的地方，我以不到5分鐘的差距錯過了時(shí)間截點(diǎn)。Now,Igottoexperiencesomethingalittledifferent,failure.AndthefeelingsthatIwasexperiencingatthattime,justlikethedopamineinserotoninhitthatIgotwhenIsetthegoal,wereextremelystrong.Forthoseofyouthathavehadandexperienceanykindofamajorfailureinyourlife,you’vefeltthis.Mycortisollevelsroseimmediately.AsIwasridinginthebackofaBigSkyMountainpickuptruck,downtothefinishline,Iwastryingtodeterminewhattheheckmynextstepswere.HowwasIgoingtotellallthesepeoplethatknewaboutthisschool,thatknewaboutmytraining,thatIhadfailed?Ijustcouldn’tdoit.WhenIreachedthefinishline,wasgreetedbymywifeandchildren,alsofriendsthathadtraveledwithustoBigSkythatday.Theycomfortedme,toldmehowmuchtheylovedme,wereproudofmefortheeffortthatIputin,andthatimmediatefeelingoflovedefinitelyhelpedtocushionmyfall.ThenIwasscheduledtospeakinfrontofabout300colleaguesatasalesconferencetheweekfollowing.Ialreadyhadmypresentationcreated.ItwasapresentationaboutrunningTheRut,aboutsettingloftygoals,andhowifyouworkreallyhard,you’llhavesuccess.現(xiàn)在，我體驗(yàn)到了一些不同的東西，那就是失敗。我當(dāng)時(shí)的感受，就像我設(shè)定目標(biāo)時(shí)血清素中的多巴胺一樣，非常強(qiáng)烈。對于那些在生活中經(jīng)歷過任何重大失敗的人來說，你們都會有這種感覺。我的皮質(zhì)醇水平立即上升，當(dāng)我坐在一輛大皮卡的后座上的時(shí)候，走到終點(diǎn)線的時(shí)候，我一直在試圖確定下一步到底該怎么走。我怎么才能告訴所有知道這所學(xué)校、知道我的訓(xùn)練的人，我失敗了？我沒有做到。當(dāng)我到達(dá)終點(diǎn)時(shí)，迎接我的是我的妻子和孩子，還有那天和我們一起來到大天空的朋友們。他們安慰我，告訴我他們有多愛我。他們?yōu)槲宜冻龅呐Ω械津湴?，而這種愛的即刻感受無疑為我的失敗提供了緩沖。之后的一周，我被安排在一個會議上，在大約300名同事面前發(fā)言。我先前已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備好了演講稿，演講的主題是關(guān)于我的TheRut比賽的過程，關(guān)于樹立一些遠(yuǎn)大的理想，以及一些關(guān)于如果你真的努力，就會成功的內(nèi)容。Well,Ihadtochangemypresentation.Idecidedtostilltalkabouttherun.ButIchangedit.Italkedaboutfailure,andhowit’snottheendoftheworldthatyoucanstillexperiencefailure,nevergetupandkeepgoing.ThestandingovationthatIreceivedfrommycolleaguesthatdaywasthefinaldoseofmedicinethatIneededtorecoveronthefromtheimmediateimpactofthatfailure.ButwhatwasIgoingtodonext?Isaidabiggoal.Everybodyknewaboutit.Ifailed.Everybodyknewaboutit.Formanypeopleinthisinstance,theymaynotsetanygoalsthatloftyeveragain.Othersmaydecidetosetsmallergoalsandslowlyclimbuptheladderwheretheymayfeelsafeagaintosetagoalthatlarge.我不得不改變我的演講內(nèi)容。我決定還是談?wù)勁懿?，但我改了，我談到了失敗，失敗并不是世界末日，你仍然可以?jīng)歷失敗，永不放棄，繼續(xù)前進(jìn)。那天，同事們起立為我鼓掌，這是我從失敗的直接影響中恢復(fù)過來所需的最后一劑良藥。但我接下來要做什么呢？我說了一個大目標(biāo)，大家都知道了。我失敗了，大家也都知道了。在這種情況下，對于許多人來說，他們可能再也不會制定那么高遠(yuǎn)的目標(biāo)了。另一些人可能會決定先制定較小的目標(biāo)，然后慢慢往上爬，這樣他們可能會覺得再次制定這么大的目標(biāo)是安全的。Thoseofyouthatmightknowme,andIguessthosethatdon’twillnowunderstandthatdoesn’tworkforme.Idecidedtogetrightbackonthathorsethatbuckedmeoff,andIsignedupforTheRut28Kagaininearly2023.Iwasjustasexcited,butIwasalittleapprehensive,becauseIdidn’tunderstandwhatitwasthatcausedmetofail.AsIbeganmytraininginMarchandApril,myfamilyandIreceiveddevastatingnewsthatwouldchangethecourseofmytrainingthisyear.可能了解我的人和不了解我的人現(xiàn)在都會明白，這對我來說是行不通的。我決定重新騎上那匹把我摔下來的馬，在2023年初再次報(bào)名TheRut，參加28公里賽。我同樣興奮，但也有些忐忑，因?yàn)槲也幻靼资鞘裁磳?dǎo)致了我的失敗。當(dāng)我在三、四月份開始訓(xùn)練時(shí)，我和家人收到了一個毀滅性的消息，這個消息將改變我今年的訓(xùn)練進(jìn)程。Myfather,thepersonwhoinspiredmetosetthisgoalinthefirstplace,foundoutfromhisdoctorthatiscongestiveheartfailurehadfinallygottenthebestofhim.InearlyMay,hewastoldthathisconditionwastooadvancedandtherewasnothingelsethattheycoulddo.Hewasgivenjustweekstolive.Iknewatthispoint,nomatterwhathappened,nomatterhowhardItrained,itwasmorethanlikelythatmyfatherwouldnotbetherewithme.SoIdecidedIneededtodosomethingelse,sooner.IdecidedtoruntheMontanahalfmarathoninMay.Ifinishedthatrace.Iwasabletoshowmyfatherthatmetalandsharethatjoywithhim,andI’mgladthatIdidsoasquicklyasIdid.Thedoctorswereright,andonJune62023,myfatherpassedaway.我的父親，也就是當(dāng)初激勵我樹立這個目標(biāo)的人，從他的醫(yī)生那里得知，他的充血性心力衰竭終于發(fā)作了。五月初，醫(yī)生告訴他，他的病情已經(jīng)到了晚期，他們已經(jīng)無能為力了。他的生命僅剩幾周。此時(shí)我知道，無論發(fā)生什么，無論我多么努力地訓(xùn)練，父親都很可能無法陪在我身邊。所以我決定要做點(diǎn)別的事情，越快越好。我決定在五月份參加蒙大拿州半程馬拉松比賽。我完成了比賽，我向父親展示了那塊金牌，并與他分享了那份喜悅，我很高興我這么快就做到了。醫(yī)生是對的，2023年6月6日，我父親去世了。Inthedaysfollowingmyfather’spassing,Itookstockofalotofthingsinlife.I’moneofthethingsthatIthoughtalotaboutwaswhyIfailed.ThisiswhenIlearnedoneofthebiglessonsaboutovercomingfailure,beingbrutallyhonestaboutwhyIfailed.Theproblemwasn’tthatIdidn’thaveaplan,andtheproblemwasn’ttheconditionsthatdayinBigSky.TheproblemwasthatIdidn’tfollowmyplan,andIwasn’tprepared.TherewereplentyofdaysduringmytrainingthatyearthatImightskiparun,maybecutsomethingshort,doeighthillrepeatsinsteadoftwelve,eventhoughIdidn’texpectittobeahundreddegreesthatday.IshouldhaveexpectedthatIneededtocarryelectrolytesinsalt,tohaveafuelingplantomakeitthrougharacelikethat.Withoutit,anyofthosethings,Iwouldhavebeensuccessful.I’mfortunateenoughtohaveanultrarunnerinmyfamily,somebodywhohadofferedtodoadifferentkindoftrainingplanformethisyear.HewouldsendmeatextmessageeveryweekwiththeexactplanfortheweekevenifIwastravelingforbusiness,whichIdidoften,hewouldhelptailorthatplansoInevermissedaworkout.在父親去世后的日子里，我總結(jié)了生活中的很多事情。其中一件事讓我想了很多，那就是我為什么會失敗。就在那時(shí)，我學(xué)到了克服失敗的重要一課，那就是坦率地說出失敗的原因。問題不在于我沒有計(jì)劃，也不在于大天空那天的條件，問題在于我沒有按照計(jì)劃行事，也沒有做好準(zhǔn)備。在那一年的訓(xùn)練中，有很多天我會跳過一次跑步，會縮短跑步時(shí)間，會做八次爬坡而不是十二次，盡管我沒想到那天的氣溫會高達(dá)華氏100度。我本該想到，我需要攜帶電解質(zhì)鹽，制定一個加油計(jì)劃，以便在那樣的比賽中堅(jiān)持下來。如果沒有它，沒有這些東西，我也會成功的。我很幸運(yùn)，家里有一位超級長跑運(yùn)動員，他主動提出今年為我制定一個不同的訓(xùn)練計(jì)劃。他每周都會給我發(fā)一條短信，告訴我具體的訓(xùn)練計(jì)劃，即使我經(jīng)常出差，他也會幫我量身定制訓(xùn)練計(jì)劃，這樣我就不會錯過任何一次訓(xùn)練。MysiblingsandIalsodecidedthatwewantedtorunaraceandhonorofmyfather.SowedecidedtoruntheBaretoothRun10Kandhalfmarathon,whichisranat10,000feetatthetopoftheirtoothpass.Thefourofusranthatrace,weallfinished.Wewereabletoraise14,000dollarsforthecharityofmydad’schoice,theBaretoothChristianRanch.AndwhenIfinishedtheracethatday,IhadanexperiencethatIwillnevereverforget.Myfinishingtimewas2hours22minutes22,andalthoughyoucan’tseeitonthescreen,point2seconds.I’veranmanyracesinmylife.I’velookedatlotsofresults.I’veneverseenaracefinishingnumberthatwasallthesamedigit.Well,thatmightseemlikeacoincidence.Idon’tbelievethatitwas.WhatIknewisthatmyfather’shighschoolsportsnumberwas22.Iknewhewaswithmethatday,andthat’ssomethingIwillcertainlyneverforget.我和兄弟姐妹們也決定要參加一場比賽，紀(jì)念我的父親。因此，我們決定參加BaretoothRun十公里和半程馬拉松比賽，比賽在10000英尺高的牙關(guān)山頂舉行。我們四個人參加了比賽，全部完成。我們?yōu)槲腋赣H選擇的慈善機(jī)構(gòu)BaretoothChristianRanch籌集了14000美元。那天，當(dāng)我完成比賽時(shí)，我有了一次永生難忘的經(jīng)歷。我的完賽時(shí)間是2小時(shí)22分22秒，雖然你在屏幕上看不到，后面還有小數(shù)點(diǎn)。我一生中參加過很多比賽，我看過很多比賽結(jié)果。我從未見過比賽的終點(diǎn)數(shù)字是相同的。這看起來可能是個巧合，我不相信這是巧合。我只知道我父親高中時(shí)的運(yùn)動號碼是22。我知道那天他和我在一起，這一點(diǎn)我永遠(yuǎn)不會忘記。Aroundthattime,acoworkertoldmethatheandanotherfriendwantedtogetintomountainrunning.TheyhadfoundaracecalledtheProspectorRunthathappensinCookeCity,andtheywantedtoknowifIwouldbewillingtojointhem.Itwasscheduledtohappenabout30daysoutfromTheRut,andIthought,whattheheck?Sure,I’lldoitwithyou.SoIsignedupforthat30K.Thethreeofuscompletedtheracethatday.Andthat’swhenIlearnedanotherbiglessonforovercomingfailure,whichistoacceptadditionalchallenges.IfIwouldn’thavedonetheBaretoothRun,Iwouldn’thaveknownthatIcouldhavesuccessfullyranahalfmarathonatover10,000feet.IfIwasn’tintheprospecttorun,Iwouldn’thaveknownthatIcoulddomorethana28Kmountainrace.Atthispoint,Iwasprepared,aspreparedaspossibletogobacktoBigSkyfortherace.Buthere’sthethingIcreatedthispresentationlongbeforeIwentbacktotherace.Ireallyhadnoideawhatwasgoingtohappen.大約在那個時(shí)候，一位同事告訴我，他和另一位朋友想?yún)⒓由降嘏懿奖荣?。他們找到了一個在庫克城舉辦的名為ProspectorRun的比賽，想知道我是否愿意參加。比賽安排在距離TheRut后大約30天的時(shí)候舉行，我想，管他呢？當(dāng)然，我可以一起去。于是，我報(bào)名參加了那場30公里的比賽。那天，我們?nèi)齻€人完成了比賽。就在那時(shí)，我學(xué)到了克服失敗的另一個重要經(jīng)驗(yàn)，那就是接受更多的挑戰(zhàn)。如果我沒有參加BaretoothRun，我就不會知道我可以在超過10000英尺的高空成功跑完半程馬拉松。如果我沒有跑步的念頭，我也不會知道我可以完成超過28公里的山地賽跑。此時(shí)，我已經(jīng)做好了準(zhǔn)備，盡可能地準(zhǔn)備回到大天空參加比賽。但問題是，早在我回去參加比賽之前，我就準(zhǔn)備了這次展示，我真的不知道會發(fā)生什么。Iwaseithergoingtobetalkingtoyoutodayaboutagreatsuccessortalkingabouthowyoucanrecoverfrommultiplefailuresinarow.Idecideditdidn’treallymatter.Nomatterwhattheoutcome.ThelessonsIlearnedIwouldcarrywithmefortherestofmylife.ButmyfamilyandIreturnedtoBigSkyonSeptember16ofthisyear,andIwassuccessful