專題07-2022年天津卷英語真題作文深度點(diǎn)評(píng)與滿分作文賞析

專題07-2022年天津卷英語真題作文深度點(diǎn)評(píng)與滿分作文賞析【試題再現(xiàn)2022年天津卷7月】你是高中口語社成員李津，李華為了招募新成員，讓你錄制一個(gè)視頻，撰寫視頻的文字稿，要點(diǎn)如下:1.邀請(qǐng)大家加入社團(tuán)；2.介紹一下社團(tuán)活動(dòng)(如英語演講比賽，觀看英語電影等)；3.談?wù)勀慵尤肷鐖F(tuán)以后的收獲可適當(dāng)添加細(xì)節(jié)。參考詞匯:SpokenEnglishClub;EnglishSpeechContest注意：(1)詞數(shù)不少于100；(2)可適當(dāng)加入細(xì)節(jié)，使內(nèi)容充實(shí)、行文連貫；(3)開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【試題解讀】主題語境：人與社會(huì)---人際溝通（良好的人際關(guān)系）話題選擇：為招募新成員撰寫視頻邀請(qǐng)解說詞語篇類型：解說詞解說詞是口頭解釋、說明事物的文體。往往事先擬好文稿，通過對(duì)事物的準(zhǔn)確描述、渲染，感染觀眾或聽眾，使其了解事物的實(shí)情、狀態(tài)和意義，力爭(zhēng)收到宣傳效果。解說詞這種文體有如下特征：（1）通過口頭語言宣傳教育群眾，讀起來上口，聽起來順耳。（2）對(duì)實(shí)物和形象的解說，以實(shí)物和形象為表達(dá)的依據(jù)，結(jié)構(gòu)不苛求嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)，段落之間不苛求緊扣，但敘述形象要完整、逼真。寫作構(gòu)思：1.寫前四審（1）審題材：成員招募；（2）審時(shí)態(tài)：一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)為主，進(jìn)行時(shí)等為輔助；（3）審人稱：第一、第二人稱為主；（4）審要點(diǎn)：構(gòu)思文章是否符合題目要求，主旨突出，內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)齊全，寫作對(duì)象明確，語言的選用得當(dāng)，符合要求等。2.分列提綱作文要求寫一個(gè)招募新成員的視頻解說詞，因此在介紹的時(shí)候，既有對(duì)過去舊的招募通告的一種傳承，也要考慮到結(jié)合視頻，和這個(gè)受眾互動(dòng)。其次它的寫作目的是介紹大家入團(tuán)，那么必然要介紹一下社團(tuán)的活動(dòng)有哪些，最重要還是以自己加入社團(tuán)的收獲現(xiàn)身說法，并且添加適當(dāng)?shù)募?xì)節(jié)來使得這個(gè)視頻更加的有說服力。因此在寫作過程當(dāng)中，應(yīng)該是第二點(diǎn)是寫作的核心，第三點(diǎn)屬于例子證明，寫作的目的就是第一條，分清主次，分清層次對(duì)于考生就是一個(gè)審題重難點(diǎn)了。因此我們不要輕易改變所給要點(diǎn)順序，按照三個(gè)要點(diǎn)的要求寫出來就好。作文中所給的關(guān)鍵詞要用上。3.寫后三審（1）檢查時(shí)態(tài)、語態(tài)、單詞拼寫、標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)是否有錯(cuò)誤；（2）句子的時(shí)態(tài)、主謂、代詞要做到一致；（3）句子謂語要完整；（4）習(xí)慣用法、固定搭配要正確；（5）冠詞、形容詞、副詞及連詞要得當(dāng)?shù)?；?）根據(jù)內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)改寫句子、合并句子、用非謂語動(dòng)詞改寫句子、用高級(jí)替代詞、用高級(jí)句式潤色文章、運(yùn)用適當(dāng)?shù)倪^渡詞加強(qiáng)邏輯等?！緷M分范文欣賞1】Hi!MynameisLiHua,amemberfromSpokenEnglishClub.NowIwouldliketorepresentourClubtorecruitnewmembers.IfyoualsofeelzesttoimproveyouroralEnglish,throughthisshortvideoclip,youwillfeelamazedtojoinus.Asyoucansee,variousactivitiesarebeingheldinourClub,suchasEnglishSpeechContest,andPoetryRepetition,etc.What’smore,memberswillgathertogetheronourEnglishcornertotalkfreelyundertheinstructionofourforeignteachers,AnnandJohn.NowtheyareleadingustotrainouroralEnglishforfilmdubbing,whichismyfavoritepart.Forme,IhavegainedalotfromthisfantasticClub,notonlybecauseitbuildsupcourageandconfidenceinmebypractisingbutalsobecausecommunicatingwithotherseasilyinEnglishhelpsmemakemorefriendsandenrichmylifewithanewexperience.Anyone,aslongasyourareinterestedinoralEnglish,canjoinus,toexploreanewworld,andbecomeanewstarinourClub,todemonstrateyourcharmandmakemoreprogresswithus!Belowthescreenisthetelephonenumber,Weareexpectingyourjoining.【滿分范文欣賞2】IamLiJin,amemberoftheSpokenEnglishclubinourschool.Inordertoenhancethestudents’abilitytospeakEnglishfluently,ourclubhasheldvarietiesofactivities,suchasEnglishSpeakingContestandwatchingEnglishmovies.Bytakinganactivepartindifferentevents,notonlyhaveourclubmembersmadeacademicprogressinusingEnglish,butalsotheyhavebecomemoreconfidentwhencommunicatingwithothers.PersonallyIhavebenefitedgreatlyfromtheclubactivities.BesidestheimprovementsinmyoralEnglish,Ihavemadefriendswithmanyclubmembers,whocomefromdifferentclassesandgradesInaword,IsincerelyinviteyoutojoinourSpokenEnglishClub,whereyouwillhaveafantasticexperience.【滿分范文欣賞3】Dearmyfellows,Asoneofitsmembers,IwouldliketomakethisvideoaskingyoutojointheHigh-SchoolSpokenEnglishClubinfindingitpleasantforyoutoimproveinEnglish.ThishelpsyouwithEnglishthatallofyouwouldfeelgoodatspeaking,listeningto,orwriting.Combiningwiththese,youwillbeinvitednotonlytoattendaseriousoflectureonceamonthaboutEnglish,ofwhichyouwouldhaveacquiredagoodknowledge,buttohaveEnglishpartyaweektogetmuchenjoymentinmakingyouunderstoodinEnglish,muchefficiently,notmentionedEnglishfilmswatchingfrequently.SoachievablewouldyourEnglishremainthatyouwillrenewbenefitsinEnglish,beingabletocommunicatewithyourfellows,eachother,inEnglish.Alwaysbylearningeachother’strongpointsinputtingEnglishintopractice,willyoubeenabledtobereadyfortheEnglishSpeechContest.Thiswillkeepyouwiseinaskingeachotherforquestionstowhichyourfellowscouldsetyoubroad-mindedquicklyinreply.SomuchvaluableforimprovingEnglish-in-usequalitybecomestheone-termlecturesIattendedonnews-writingandhistorical-culturelessonsinEnglish,togetherwithonphotographytaking,thatmyfruitfulnesscouldbefavorabletobringingmeasoneofEnglishlearnerstoincreaseinitsknowledge.Asseenfromthis,theClubistogetmesuccessfulinprogressmadepreviously,inmyview.YouwouldhavedevelopedproficiencyinEnglish,thatisbecomingfavourablefornegotiatingsuccessfully