專題六　熱考主題突破【閑魚：金考教育教輔】

熱考主題突破讀后續(xù)寫專題六匯報(bào)人：一、個(gè)人成長類章節(jié)副標(biāo)題01個(gè)人成長類故事通常描述的是青少年在成長或?qū)W習(xí)過程中遇到比賽、表演、演講等各種賽事或活動(dòng)，因信心不足而出現(xiàn)害怕、恐懼、自我懷疑等情緒，要求續(xù)寫如何克服消極情緒，直面困難與挑戰(zhàn)，最終取得成功。近幾年高考中考查過此類故事的有：1.2023年新課標(biāo)卷講了母語非英語的“我”參加英語寫作比賽(續(xù)寫重點(diǎn)：比賽后的獲獎(jiǎng)情況以及對老師感恩的細(xì)節(jié)描述)2.2022年新課標(biāo)卷講了David因害怕被嘲笑而對參加跑步比賽沒有信心。(續(xù)寫重點(diǎn)：在作者的開導(dǎo)下決定完成比賽的心理斗爭以及比賽過程中如何克服困難、憑借堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的毅力完成比賽)考生設(shè)計(jì)此類故事的續(xù)寫情節(jié)時(shí)，要注意對主人公動(dòng)作行為及心理變化的細(xì)節(jié)刻畫。主題解讀挑戰(zhàn)自我型故事模型通常為：典例剖析(2023·新課標(biāo)Ⅰ&Ⅱ)WhenIwasinmiddleschool，mysocialstudiesteacheraskedmetoenterawritingcontest.Isaidnowithoutthinking.Ididnotlovewriting.MyfamilycamefromBrazil，soEnglishwasonlymysecondlanguage.WritingwassodifficultandpainfulformethatmyteacherhadallowedmetopresentmypaperonthesinkingoftheTitanicbyactingoutaplay，whereIplayedalltheparts.Noonelaughedharderthanhedid.So，whydidhesuddenlyforcemetodosomethingatwhichIwassuretofail?Hisreply：“BecauseIloveyourstories.Ifyou’rewillingtoapplyyourself，Ithinkyouhaveagoodshotatthis.”Encouragedbyhiswords，Iagreedtogiveitatry.IchosePaulRevere’shorseasmysubject.PaulReverewasasilversmith(銀匠)inBostonwhorodeahorseatnightonApril18,1775toLexingtontowarnpeoplethatBritishsoldierswerecoming.Mystorywouldcomestraightfromthehorse’smouth.Notabrilliantidea，butfunny；andunlikelytobeanyoneelse’schoice.Whatdidthehorsethink，ashespedthroughthenight?Didhegettired?Havedoubts?Didhewanttoquit?Isympathizedimmediately.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.But，likeRevere’shorse，Ikeptgoing.Iworkedhard.Icheckedmyspelling.Iaskedmyoldersistertocorrectmygrammar.Icheckedoutahalf-dozenbooksonPaulReverefromthelibrary.Ievenreadafewofthem.WhenIhandedintheessaytomyteacher，hereadit，laughedoutloud，andsaid，“Great.Now，writeitagain.”Iwroteitagain，andagainandagain.WhenIfinallyfinishedit，thethoughtofwinninghadgivenwaytotheenjoymentofwriting.IfIdidn’twin，Iwouldn’tcare.注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右。Afewweekslater，whenIalmostforgotthecontest，therecamethenews._____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________Iwenttomyteacher’sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.________

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人物

I：creative，diligent，enjoyable，determinedmysocialstudiesteacher：caring，optimistic時(shí)間whenIwasinmiddleschool→afewweekslater地點(diǎn)inmiddleschool→inmyteacher’soffice沖突/矛盾如何從抵觸英語寫作轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)橄硎軐懽魑恼轮黝}努力克服困難，實(shí)現(xiàn)個(gè)人成長故事線索(起)以英語為第二語言的“我”不喜歡英語寫作→(承)“我”寧愿表演也不愿意嘗試寫作→(轉(zhuǎn))老師鼓勵(lì)“我”參賽，“我”答應(yīng)一試→(承)選定寫作主題，遭遇困難不放棄，克服困難一直努力→(轉(zhuǎn))“我”享受寫作的樂趣，不在乎是否得獎(jiǎng)→(合)比賽獲獎(jiǎng)，事件感悟[分步解讀指導(dǎo)]Step1抓核心線索，理故事脈絡(luò)Step2銜接升華句，初建續(xù)寫模型Step3思伏筆添細(xì)節(jié)，原續(xù)更融洽捕捉原文所設(shè)伏筆，充盈過渡句細(xì)節(jié)并合理銜接，以使續(xù)寫段落在邏輯和內(nèi)容上更符合原文基調(diào)。原文伏筆點(diǎn)過渡句中可與伏筆銜接的細(xì)節(jié)Para.1Englishwasonlymysecondlanguage.續(xù)寫第一段可添加情節(jié)敘述：“我”是唯一一個(gè)母語不是英語的獲獎(jiǎng)?wù)?。Para.1Noonelaughedharderthanhedid.Para.5hereadit，laughedoutloudandsaid→老師高興時(shí)的大笑續(xù)寫第一段可添加神態(tài)細(xì)節(jié)：老師得知“我”獲獎(jiǎng)后高興地大笑。原文伏筆點(diǎn)過渡句中可與伏筆銜接的細(xì)節(jié)Para.2...whydidhesuddenlyforcemetodosomething...？Para.2Encouragedbyhiswords，Iagreedtogiveitatry.→老師的鼓勵(lì)續(xù)寫第二段可添加細(xì)節(jié)：“我”感激老師激勵(lì)自己參加寫作比賽和對自己不斷的鼓勵(lì)。Para.5

thethoughtofwinninghadgivenwaytotheenjoymentofwriting續(xù)寫第二段可添加語言細(xì)節(jié)：“我”告訴老師自己愛上了寫作。必要事物：原文中的作者參賽作品中的“馬”續(xù)寫第一段可添加“我”腦海中浮現(xiàn)出努力創(chuàng)作馬的形象的情節(jié)。Step4沿原文特點(diǎn)，寫“3好”表達(dá)(準(zhǔn)確、豐富、地道)原文長短句交替使用，恰到好處地推動(dòng)了情節(jié)的發(fā)展，如作者在描寫自己的努力過程時(shí)，使用了一系列的排比短句，淋漓盡致地描寫了作者糾結(jié)、懷疑、想放棄又堅(jiān)持下去的寫稿過程；運(yùn)用“時(shí)間狀語從句＋動(dòng)作鏈”描寫老師的動(dòng)作；利用一般疑問句和特殊疑問句描寫內(nèi)心活動(dòng)。無靈主語句和疊字使描寫更活潑生動(dòng)。在敘述事情發(fā)展時(shí)，利用了狀語從句、定語從句和比較級句式等。續(xù)寫時(shí)應(yīng)學(xué)會(huì)借鑒和仿效，這樣才能與原文語言風(fēng)格保持一致。佳作賞析亮句解讀

[1]倒裝句生動(dòng)地表達(dá)了“我”獲獎(jiǎng)時(shí)的激動(dòng)心情。[2]生動(dòng)的語言和細(xì)致的動(dòng)作描寫出了頒獎(jiǎng)時(shí)激動(dòng)人心的場景。[3]現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語＋名詞短語作同位語，描寫出了“我”領(lǐng)獎(jiǎng)時(shí)的興奮和自豪的心情。[4]現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語＋高級表達(dá)＋定語從句，描寫出了“我”對老師的感激。Afewweekslater，whenIalmostforgotthecontest，therecamethenews.Iwonfirstplace！(銜接句④)SooverwhelmedwithexcitementanddisbeliefwasIthatmyheartwaspoundingquickly.[1]Finallycamethebigday!Whenmynamewasannounced，Iwalkedontothestageagainstwildcheersandthunderousapplause.[2]Feelingextremelyexcitedandproud，Iacceptedtheprize，asymbolandrecognitionofmypastperseveranceandhardwork.[3]Thinkingaboutthis，Ishedtearsofgratitude，astherewasonespecialpersonwhomeantalottome.[4](結(jié)尾句③)佳作賞析亮句解讀Iwenttomyteacher’sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.“Congratulations!Iknewyouwouldwin，”hesaid，huggingmetightly.(銜接句⑤)“Thankyou.Iwouldn’tbewhatIamtodaywithoutyourencouragement.”

Asenseofgratitudewelledupinthebottomofmyheart.[5]Pattingmyshoulder，hesmiled，“Itisyoureffortsthatcountmost.”Fromthenon，IbegantoburymyselfinEnglishwriting.(結(jié)尾句①)Withmyteacher’sinspiration，Ideterminedtokeeponchallengingmyselfandembraceabetterme.(升華句②)[5]無靈主語句描寫出了“我”對老師深深的感激之情。吸睛收尾

本文采取的是“自然式結(jié)尾”，即故事講述完畢，文章自然結(jié)束，這樣的結(jié)尾簡單明了，樸素自然，使文章結(jié)構(gòu)顯得十分完整，但并不“草率”。本文用“Withmyteacher’sinspiration，Ideterminedtokeeponchallengingmyselfandembraceabetterme.”這句話順其自然地結(jié)束故事，同時(shí)也表明了這件事給作者帶來的影響，給讀者留下了回味的空間。1.ItdawnedonAramthatoneshouldsticktohis/herdreamnomatterwhathappens.亞蘭明白了：一個(gè)人應(yīng)該堅(jiān)持他/她的夢想，無論發(fā)生什么。2.SothankfulwasheforCathy’shonestythatheactuallyendedupdonatingagenerousamounttoVNSAtoshowhisgratitude.他非常感謝凱茜的誠實(shí)，最終他向VNSA捐贈(zèng)了一大筆錢來表達(dá)他的感激之情。3.BraverywasthemostsignificantqualitythatIwantedhertopossess.勇敢是我希望她擁有的最重要的品質(zhì)。4.ItwasMomwhotaughtmeweshouldnevertakeforgrantedtheverythingsthatmostdeserveourgratitude.是媽媽教育我，我們永遠(yuǎn)不應(yīng)該把最值得我們感激的事情視為理所當(dāng)然。個(gè)人成長類吸睛結(jié)尾句集錦5.ThoughitwasatoughyearthatIstruggledalotwithmyidentity，itwasonthatdaythatIrealizedIcouldbeaherothatkidsneeded.雖然這是艱難的一年，我經(jīng)常為自己的身份而掙扎，但就在那一天，我意識到我可以成為一個(gè)孩子們需要的英雄。6.Throughourlives，wecangainalotandlosesomuch.Butbeinghonestshouldalwaysbewithus，ashonestyisalwaysregardedasavirtue.在我們的生活中，我們可以獲得很多，也可以失去很多。但誠實(shí)應(yīng)該永遠(yuǎn)與我們同在，因?yàn)檎\實(shí)總是被視為一種美德。7.學(xué)習(xí)知識而成長It’snevertoolatetolearn.Eachindividualhastherighttoacceptmorechallengesandmakemoreattempts.活到老，學(xué)到老。每個(gè)人都有權(quán)利去接受更多的挑戰(zhàn)，做更多的嘗試。8.發(fā)揮天賦促成長Actually，everyindividualpossessestalent.Bebravewhenyoufinditandalsomakeefforts.Youcancreatemiraclesintheend.事實(shí)上，每個(gè)人都有天賦，發(fā)現(xiàn)它的時(shí)候要勇敢，也要付出努力，最終你會(huì)創(chuàng)造奇跡。9.追逐夢想而成長It’snevertoolatetogoforyourdream.Aslongasyougraspeveryopportunityandtakefulladvantageofit，youwillstandachancetorealizeyourdreams.追夢永遠(yuǎn)不晚。只要你抓住機(jī)會(huì)，充分利用機(jī)會(huì)，你就有機(jī)會(huì)實(shí)現(xiàn)夢想。Aslongaswedaretodreamanddon’tletdifficultiesgetinourway，anythingispossible.只要我們敢于夢想，不被困難所阻擋，一切皆有可能。10.克服困難而成長Thejourneytosuccessisnotsmooth.Itisfullofchallengesanddifficulties.Weshouldbebravetofacethem.Aslongaswedon’tgiveuphopeandmakeeveryefforttoovercomeallthedifficulties，wewillsurelyachieveourgoal(success)finally.通往成功的路不會(huì)平坦，充滿挑戰(zhàn)和艱辛。我們要勇敢面對。只要不放棄希望并竭盡全力克服所有困難，我們最終會(huì)實(shí)現(xiàn)我們的目標(biāo)(成功)。(2024·山師附中6月模擬)閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文?！癗o，littlegirl.Youcan’tgetinwithoutthemoney.”Jeffrey，thebusdriver，toldalittlegirlwhowantedtogetonthebusbutonlyhadafewpennies.Shemusthavebeenaroundsevenyearsold，andhewasn’tinthemoodtodealwithunaccompaniedchildrenthatday.語篇解讀文章通過描述一個(gè)公交車司機(jī)Jeffrey在對待一個(gè)沒有足夠車費(fèi)的小女孩時(shí)的態(tài)度和行為，以及他后來得知這個(gè)女孩失蹤后的反應(yīng)和行動(dòng)，來展現(xiàn)人性中的自私與善良，以及責(zé)任感的重要性。即時(shí)演練“Please，sir.Iwanttovisitmygrandmother，”thelittlegirlbegged.“Thengoaskyourparentsforthemoneyandcomebacknexttime，”Jeffreyrepliedandgesturedwithhishandforthegirltogetout.Shefinallyleftthebuswithhershoulderslowered.Jeffreysawhersitdownatthebusstopanddroveoff.Hefinishedhisrouteandwenthomeforlunch，greetinghiswife，Greta，andsittingdownonthecouchtorest.WhenhebrowsedhisFacebookposts，animagecaughthisattention.Apicturewassharedofthelittlegirlhehadjustturnedawayafewhoursearlier.Theword“Missing”waswrittenontopoftheimage.Helearnedthatthegirlhaddisappearedadayago，andherparentsweredesperatelytryingtofindher.

“Dear!WhathaveIdone？”heaskedhimself，standingupandgoingtothefrontdoor.WhenGretaaskedwherehewasgoing，Jeffreysaid，“Greta!Quick!Call911andthisnumber，”showingherthepictureofthegirl.“Isawthisgirlatabusstopearlier，andIturnedherawaybecauseshedidn’thaveenoughmoney.I’mgoingtofindher，butpleasemakethosecalls.”Havingtoldherwherethebusstopwas，hewentout.Jeffreyrushedtohiscar，speedingtothebusstop.Hopefully，thegirlwassmartenoughtostayinoneplace.Hecouldn’tbelievehowcarelesshehadbeenearlier.Shewasalittlegirlallalone.Ashedrovetothebusstop，Jeffreyvowedtobemorecarefulinthefuture，especiallywhenitcametochildren.注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右。Finally，Jeffreysawatinyfiguresittingonthebenchatthespot.

_____________________________________________________________Afewminuteslater，thepoliceandanothercarapproached.

__________________________________________________________________第一段續(xù)寫思路：在這一段中，重點(diǎn)描述Jeffrey抵達(dá)公交站并發(fā)現(xiàn)小女孩仍然坐在那里的情形。他的內(nèi)心充滿了緊張和愧疚，擔(dān)心她可能因?yàn)樗臎Q定而處于危險(xiǎn)中。當(dāng)他看到那個(gè)小小的身影坐在長椅上時(shí)，他可能會(huì)有一種混合的情緒——因她還在原地而感到寬慰，但同時(shí)也為自己之前的自私感到自責(zé)。這一段可以描述他急匆匆地靠近她，確認(rèn)她的安全，并試圖安慰她，同時(shí)也反省自己的行為。這表明了他作為一個(gè)成年人和公共服務(wù)工作者的責(zé)任感。第二段續(xù)寫思路：這一段可以聚焦于警察和另一輛車(可能是她父母的車)的到來，以及隨之而來的事件發(fā)展。描述一下警察和小女孩的父母急切地趕到現(xiàn)場，他們的焦慮和擔(dān)憂可以通過他們急切的動(dòng)作和表情來表現(xiàn)。Jeffrey可能會(huì)向他們解釋情況，并表達(dá)他的歉意。此外，這個(gè)場景也可以描寫小女孩與她的父母團(tuán)聚的感人瞬間，以及他們對Jeffrey的反應(yīng)——他們可能對他的最初決定表示失望，但也可能感謝他后來的行動(dòng)。這樣的描述不僅增加了故事的情感深度，還強(qiáng)調(diào)了社會(huì)責(zé)任和個(gè)人行動(dòng)的重要性。續(xù)寫思路Finally，Jeffreysawatinyfiguresittingonthebenchatthespot.Hisheartpoundedwithamixofreliefandguiltashepulledoverandquicklygotoutofhiscar.Thelittlegirllookedup，hereyeswidewithsurpriseandabitoffear.Jeffreyapproachedhercautiously，hishandsraisedinanon-threateningmanner，andsaidsoftly.Heinquiredabouthernameandwhyshehadlefthome.“IwasgoingtoGrandma’shouse.Mymomwouldn’tletmego.”Sarahreplied，swingingoneofherfeetandlookingattheconcretefloor.“Yourparentsaresearchingforyou，andthey’llbeheresoon，”heassuredher，andthelittlegirlgavehimasmallsmile.參考范文Afewminuteslater，thepoliceandanothercarapproached.Thegirl’sparentshadarrived，theirfacesetchedwithablendofexhaustionandimmenserelief.Asthepolicebegantotakestatements，theparentshuggedtheirdaughtertightly，tearsstreamingdowntheirfaces.Jeffreystoodtotheside，watchingthereunionwithaheavyheart.Heknewhehadmadeagravemistakebutwasgratefulforthechancetocorrectit.Theincidentservedasastarkreminderoftheimportanceofempathyandunderstanding，especiallyinhisroleasabusdriver.Asthefamilyleftwiththepolice，Jeffreymadeasilentpromisetohimselftoneverletasimilarsituationhappenagain.二、家庭親情類章節(jié)副標(biāo)題02親情類話題是讀后續(xù)寫的熱考話題之一，2021年新課標(biāo)Ⅰ卷主題為“給媽媽做母親節(jié)早餐”，體現(xiàn)家庭成員之間的愛。家庭親情類的讀后續(xù)寫故事一般圍繞主人公與家人之間發(fā)生的日常生活事件展開，通?？煞譃閮纱箢悾旱谝活愂窍嘤H相愛的錦上添花比如紀(jì)念重要日子(如舉辦驚喜生日派對、送生日禮物、母親節(jié)、父親節(jié)等)或父親教孩子學(xué)習(xí)新技能，孩子為長輩解決困難。這一類語篇的整體基調(diào)是快樂的、積極的、充滿愛的。最后表達(dá)收獲、開心、感恩等。第二類是解決小誤會(huì)/小矛盾的握手言和比如親子之間缺乏溝通，父母把自己的意志強(qiáng)加給子女，子女覺得父母做法不對，孩子想要幫父母卻幫倒忙等。續(xù)寫往往要求考生能夠用續(xù)寫原文的伏筆，讓沖突得到化解，化解的方式可以是彌補(bǔ)、解釋、道歉、回憶等。如果是親人之間的矛盾、誤會(huì)，結(jié)尾往往會(huì)冰釋前嫌，握手言和。該題材下的語篇蘊(yùn)含濃厚的育人價(jià)值，即培養(yǎng)學(xué)生的家庭責(zé)任感，引導(dǎo)中學(xué)生思考與親人之間的關(guān)系，進(jìn)而領(lǐng)悟到要珍惜平淡、溫暖的親情，意識到家庭和睦、家人間的關(guān)愛和尊重、有效溝通的重要性。此類語篇的結(jié)尾宜從以上方面進(jìn)行主題升華。該類故事一直是高考讀后續(xù)寫的熱門題材之一，需重點(diǎn)備考。典例剖析(2021·新課標(biāo)Ⅰ&Ⅱ)閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。AMOTHER’SDAYSURPRISEThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother’sDay.HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.TheyplannedtomakeFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknewexactlywhattodo.Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.Thepairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.TheyputsomericeintoapotofwaterandleftittoboilwhiletheymadetheFrenchtoast.Jeffbroketwoeggsintoaplateandaddedinsomemilk.Jennafoundthebreadandputtwoslicesintotheeggmixture.Next，Jeffturnedonthesecondstoveburnertoheatupthefryingpan.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime，sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute，theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully，Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff’shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear!Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右。Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment，theirfatherappeared._____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

[分步解讀指導(dǎo)]Step1抓核心線索，理故事脈絡(luò)人物Jenna&Jeff(twins)，mother，father時(shí)間onMother’sDay地點(diǎn)athome沖突/矛盾雙胞胎杰夫和詹娜計(jì)劃為他們的媽媽做早餐，希望給她驚喜，結(jié)果手忙腳亂，事與愿違，廚房一片狼藉文章主題親情、愛，溫馨、難忘的母親節(jié)故事線索(起)雙胞胎杰夫和詹娜計(jì)劃為他們的母親做早餐作為母親節(jié)驚喜→(承)一切都很順利，直到杰夫燒焦了第一塊面包→(承)粥溢出了，杰夫的手觸摸了熱爐，另一塊面包變黑了?！?轉(zhuǎn))他們的父親出現(xiàn)了→(合)這對雙胞胎把早餐帶給了他們的母親。Step2銜接升華句，初建續(xù)寫模型Step3，思伏筆添細(xì)節(jié)，原續(xù)更融洽捕捉原文所設(shè)伏筆，充盈過渡句細(xì)節(jié)并合理銜接，以使續(xù)寫段落在邏輯和內(nèi)容上更符合原文基調(diào)。原文伏筆點(diǎn)過渡句中可與伏筆銜接的細(xì)節(jié)標(biāo)題AMOTHER’SDAYSURPRISE續(xù)寫第二段可寫媽媽看到早餐時(shí)的驚喜首段HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.續(xù)寫第二段可寫媽媽看到早餐被端到床前時(shí)的快樂原文伏筆點(diǎn)過渡句中可與伏筆銜接的細(xì)節(jié)原文二、三段中敘述面包煎煳了，粥溢出了，廚房一片狼藉續(xù)寫第一段可寫父親建議雙胞胎收拾廚房尾段JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.續(xù)寫第一段可寫父親如何處理這鍋沒煮好的粥尾段ButJeff’shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.續(xù)寫第二段可寫母親看到杰夫的手，落下淚來特定物品pot，pan，eggs，milk續(xù)寫第一段可寫孩子們和父親再次做早餐的場景Step4沿原文特點(diǎn)，寫“3好”表達(dá)(準(zhǔn)確、豐富、地道)原文對做早餐的動(dòng)作描寫細(xì)膩，體現(xiàn)出即使簡單的早餐，倘若不熟練，也會(huì)有很大的麻煩。在描寫做早餐時(shí)，利用場景描寫表現(xiàn)雙胞胎由最初的自信到最后的不自信和沮喪，使描述極具畫面感；利用間接引語呈現(xiàn)人物對話。續(xù)寫時(shí)應(yīng)學(xué)會(huì)借鑒和仿效，這樣才能與原文語言風(fēng)格保持一致。佳作賞析亮句解讀

[1]“現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語＋賓語從句”描寫了父親看到混亂場景時(shí)的驚訝。[2]過去分詞作狀語描寫了父親得知原因后的感動(dòng)。[3]部分倒裝句描寫了父親幫助雙胞胎的場景。Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment，theirfatherappeared.Seeingthemessinthekitchen，theirfatherwasstunned，askingwhatthetwinsweredoing.[1](銜接句④)“TodayisMother’sDayandwearepreparingabreakfastformomasasurprise，”saidthetwins.Movedbytheirsweetidea[2]，theirfatherdecidedtoofferthempossiblehelp.Notonlydidhecleanthestoveforthem，butalsohegavepatientguidancetothem.[3]Undertheirfather’shelp，thekidssoonfinishedFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.(結(jié)尾句③)佳作賞析亮句解讀Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.Wakingupfromherdream，theirmotherwasstilltryingtofigureoutwhathadhappened.[4](銜接句⑤)“HappyMother’sDayandthisisoursurpriseforyou！”saidthetwinsexcitedly.Lookingattheirlovelyfacesandthebreakfasttheyhadmade，theirmotherburstintotears.Holdingthekidstightlyinherarms，shesaid，“YouarethebiggestsurprisethatIcaneverhaveinmylife.”[5](結(jié)尾句①)Haditnotbeenforthisspecialexperience，shemightnothaverealizedhowmuchherchildrenlovedher.[6](升華句②)[4]現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語描寫了媽媽剛睡醒時(shí)的茫然。[5]“現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語＋動(dòng)作＋語言”描寫了媽媽得知真相后的感動(dòng)。[6]虛擬語氣表達(dá)出了媽媽的心理活動(dòng)。1.ItwasHenry’skindnessthatmademefeelthewarmthofourfamily.Iwilltreasureitwithallmyheart.正是亨利的善良讓我感受到了我們家庭的溫暖。我會(huì)用心珍惜它的。2.Ikeepthelittleplaneasareminderofmydaughter’sloveandalsothepowerofwords.我保留著這架小飛機(jī)，以提醒女兒對我的愛和語言的力量。3.EverytimeIfacedchallenges，athoughtofgivingupflashedinmymind，butthesupportofmyfamilygavemethestrengthtokeepgoing.每次面對挑戰(zhàn)，我都想放棄，但是家人的支持給了我繼續(xù)前進(jìn)的力量。4.Thewarmgoldensunlight，floodinginthroughthewindow，togetherwithlovebetweenmyfamily，warmedus.溫暖的金色陽光，透過窗戶照進(jìn)來，和家人之間的愛一起，溫暖了我們。家庭親情類吸睛結(jié)尾句集錦5.Sincethen，myfather’splainandencouragingwordshavealwaysechoedinmymind，guidingthewayofmylife.從那以后，父親那句直白而鼓舞人心的話語一直在我的腦海中回響，指引著我的人生道路。6.Followingthat，itgraduallydawnedonmethattheloveofmotherispriceless，whichnothingcanmatch.此后，我逐漸意識到，母親的愛是無價(jià)的，沒有什么能比得上。語篇解讀文章講述了作者的爸爸為了養(yǎng)家，幫別人清洗游泳池，作者在爸爸沒回到家之前喜歡和哥哥一起打籃球，作者覺得打籃球的時(shí)候世界上所有的問題似乎都消失了。后來作者的爸爸工作不順利，他累得兩肩前傾，無法掩飾眼中的擔(dān)憂，那一刻作者發(fā)現(xiàn)爸爸老了很多。(2024·湖北武漢模擬)閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。ItwasstilllightoutsideandDadwasn’thomeyet.Momtoldusweneededtowaitfordinnersoallofuscouldeattogether.Ididn’tmind.Dadworkedalldaycleaningpoolsandifhewaslate，itmeantIcouldspendmoretimeoutsideplayingbasketballwithmybrother.即時(shí)演練Dadplayedbasketballinanold-fashionedway.Healwaysusedtwohandstoholdtheballandhewasalwayscarefultolineuphisbodywiththebasket.Eachofhisshotsisperfectlymeasuredsothattheballdropscleanlythroughthehoop.Afewyearsbefore，whentherehadbeenmoremoneytospend，Dadhadboughtusabackboardandahoopandhadsetupatallmetalpoleonthesideofthedriveway.Itwasprimitive，butstill，wecouldimagineitasabasketballcourt.WewouldplaybasketballalldayifMomletus.Wepracticedallsortsofshotsandtriedtosharpenourskillsbycuttingaroundeachother，sendingtheballthrougheachother’slegsandpassingitbehindourbacks.Itfeltlikemagicholdingaball，aimingatthebasket，sendingitintotheairandwaitingforittodropintothebasket—alltheproblemsoftheworldseemedtofadeaway.LatelyDaddidn’tseemagicanywhere.He’dlostmorecustomerstojoblosses.ManyofDad’scustomerswhohadlosttheirjobstoldhimtheycouldn’taffordtopayDadtocleantheirpoolsanymore.IcouldtellDadwasworriedeachnight.Isqueezedpastmybrothertoputinanotherlayup(帶球上籃).ThatwaswhenIheardDadarrivinghome.“Hey，guys！”Dadsaidashegotoutofthecar.Hisshouldersslumpedforwardwithtiredness.Itwasearlyandtherewasstillalotoflightleftinthesky.Inthefadingraysofthesun，thelightrevealedalotmorewrinklesonmyDad’sfacethanIremembered.注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右。IthoughtmaybeIcouldcheerhimup._________________________Itwasalmosttoodarktoseetheballandthedinnerwasready.____

_____________________________________________________________1.第一段續(xù)寫思路：由第一段首句“我想也許我能讓他高興起來”可知，第一段可描寫作者嘗試并成功讓疲憊的父親高興起來的場景。2.第二段續(xù)寫思路：由第二段首句“天太黑了，看不見球，晚飯也準(zhǔn)備好了”可知，第二段可描寫作者爸爸的轉(zhuǎn)變。續(xù)寫思路IthoughtmaybeIcouldcheerhimup.“Wanttoshootafewhoops，Dad？”Iasked，hopingtocheerhimup.“Sure，”hesaid，withawearysmile.“Wehavesometimebeforedinnertonight，don’twe？”Ibounce-passedtheballtohim，andDadcaughtiteffortlesslyandtossedtheballcleanlythroughthehoop.Dadcheeredforhimselfandslappedusahigh-five.Whentheballbouncedoffthehoop，Dadwouldsmileandjogtoretrievetheball.Asdaylightfadedanditgotdarker，eachofusenjoyedtherelaxationandDadsmiledbrightlyinawaythatIhadn’tseenforalongtime.參考范文Itwasalmosttoodarktoseetheballandthedinnerwasready.ReluctanttostepinsideasIwas，IrolledtheballtothecornerandfollowedDadashejoyfullygavemeataponmyback.It’snicetoseeDadsmilingagain，asifthetimehespentshootingbasketswithusrevivedhimandbroughtbackhisabilitytolaughalittle.Forashorttimewehelpedhimforgetaboutwhetherhisbusinesswouldsurvive.Afterall，Iwasoldenoughtounderstandfamilymeansstickingtogetherthroughthickandthin.三、助人為樂類章節(jié)副標(biāo)題03助人為樂類故事通常以主人公陷入困境為起點(diǎn)，隨后主人公經(jīng)過家人、朋友、老師、同學(xué)或陌生人的幫助，最終成功克服困難。有時(shí)，主人公也會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)他人陷入困境，經(jīng)過深思熟慮后，主動(dòng)伸出援手，幫助他人減輕困擾或解決問題。近幾年高考題中考查過此類故事的有：1.2024年新課標(biāo)Ⅰ卷講述了“我”趕時(shí)間去坐大巴車參加一個(gè)會(huì)議，出租車司機(jī)Gunter與“我”之間雖然存在溝通困難，但仍將“我”安全送到巴士站，但“我”隨后發(fā)現(xiàn)錢包里沒有現(xiàn)金，而且也無法用銀行卡支付；隨后“我”去取款機(jī)處取錢，但也沒有成功。于是，“我”跟Gunter約定四天后再見，并承諾屆時(shí)會(huì)將車費(fèi)還給他；Gunter答應(yīng)了“我”。四天后，“我”與Gunter再見時(shí)履行了承諾。本文突出了助人為樂、信守承諾的優(yōu)良品質(zhì)。續(xù)寫的重點(diǎn)在于“我”告知Gunter壞消息、“我”對Gunter許下承諾、“我”與Gunter再次見面、“我”感謝和報(bào)答Gunter以及Gunter回應(yīng)的場景。續(xù)文結(jié)尾本著積極美滿的原則，可以抒發(fā)“我”為遇上像Gunter這樣的好人的感激之情，并添加“從此以后，我與Gunter成了好朋友”等順其自然的合理情節(jié)。2.2020年新課標(biāo)Ⅰ卷講述了Meredith夫人鼓勵(lì)她的孩子們?nèi)椭F人家的孩子Bernard賺錢，突出“授之以魚不如授之以漁”的人生道理。續(xù)寫重點(diǎn)在于Meredith一家如何準(zhǔn)備爆米花以及Bernard如何賺到錢和賺到錢之后的喜悅心情?？忌O(shè)計(jì)這類故事的續(xù)寫情節(jié)時(shí)，需要注意對主人公接受幫助或幫助他人的過程進(jìn)行細(xì)致的描寫，同時(shí)也要結(jié)合對主人公內(nèi)心感受的描寫。因此，在寫作時(shí)，考生應(yīng)特別關(guān)注細(xì)節(jié)刻畫、情感表達(dá)以及主人公的心路歷程。此類故事模型通常為：典例剖析(2024·新課標(biāo)Ⅰ改編)ImetGunteronacold，wetandunforgettableeveninginSeptember.IhadplannedtoflytoViennaandtakeabustoPragueforaconference.Duetoabigstorm，myflighthadbeendelayedbyanhourandahalf.ItoucheddowninViennajust30minutesbeforethedepartureofthelastbustoPrague.ThemomentIgotofftheplane，Iranlikecrazythroughtheairportbuildingandjumpedintothefirsttaxiontherankwithoutasecondthought.ThatwaswhenImetGunter.ItoldhimwhereIwasgoing，buthesaidhehadn’theardofthebusstation.Ithoughtmypronunciationwastheproblem，soIexplainedagainmoreslowly，buthestilllookedconfused.WhenIwasabouttogiveup，Gunterfishedouthislittlephoneandrangupafriend.Afteraheateddiscussionthatlastedforwhatseemedlikeacentury，Gunterputhisphonedownandstartedthecar.Finally，withjusttwominutestosparewerolledintothebusstation.Thankfully，therewasalongqueue(隊(duì)列)stillwaitingtoboardthebus.Gunterparkedthetaxibehindthebus，turnedaround，andlookedatmewithabigsmileonhisface.“Wemadeit，”hesaid.JustthenIrealisedthatIhadzerocashinmywallet.IflashedhimanapologeticsmileasIpulledoutmyPortuguesebankcard.Hetrieditseveraltimes，butthecardmachinejustdidnotplayalong.AfeelingofhelplessnesswashedovermeasIsawthebusqueuethinningout.Atthismoment，Gunterpointedtowardsthewaitinghallofthebusstation.There，attheentrance，wasacashmachine.Ijumpedoutofthecar，madeamadrunforthemachine，andpoppedmycardin，onlytoreadthemessage：“Outoforder.Sorry.”注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右。IranbacktoGunterandtoldhimthebadnews.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Fourdayslater，whenIwasbackinVienna，IcalledGunteraspromised._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________人物I：decisive；calmTaxidriverGunter：helpful；friendly時(shí)間Onacold，wetandunforgettableeveninginSeptember地點(diǎn)InVienna沖突/矛盾“我”錢包里沒現(xiàn)金，無法支付給出租車司機(jī)。去提款機(jī)那里取錢，但是機(jī)器出故障了，“我”承諾司機(jī)過幾天給他。文章主題陌生人相助，信守承諾[分步解讀指導(dǎo)]Step1抓核心線索，厘故事脈絡(luò)情節(jié)線(起)“我”前往布拉格參加會(huì)議，由于航班延誤，“我”擔(dān)心會(huì)錯(cuò)過最后一班前往布拉格的巴士?！?承)下飛機(jī)后，“我”跳上了機(jī)場的第一輛出租車，遇到司機(jī)Gunter。由于一系列的溝通困難和誤會(huì)，我們差點(diǎn)無法找到巴士站。→(轉(zhuǎn))在Gunter的幫助下，“我”在最后時(shí)刻到達(dá)了巴士站。然而，由于取款機(jī)故障，“我”的銀行卡無法取錢。Gunter允許“我”先登上巴士，幾天后再支付車費(fèi)，體現(xiàn)了他的善良和對“我”的信任?！?合)四天后，“我”回到維也納，如約與Gunter見面并還錢?！拔摇备惺艿酵挵愕娜碎g溫情。Step2五句定位，建續(xù)寫框架Step3思伏筆添細(xì)節(jié)，原續(xù)更融洽捕捉原文所設(shè)伏筆，充盈過渡句細(xì)節(jié)并合理銜接，以使續(xù)寫段落在邏輯和內(nèi)容上更符合原文基調(diào)。原文伏筆點(diǎn)過渡句中可與伏筆銜接的細(xì)節(jié)Para.5Ijumpedoutofthecar，madeamadrunforthemachine，andpoppedmycardin，onlytoreadthemessage：“Outoforder.Sorry.”續(xù)寫第一段可添加關(guān)于“我”用了各種辦法仍無法付車費(fèi)的尷尬和無助的情緒描寫。原文伏筆點(diǎn)過渡句中可與伏筆銜接的細(xì)節(jié)Para.2WhenIwasabouttogiveup，Gunterfishedouthislittlephoneandrangupafriend.Afteraheateddiscussionthatlastedforwhatseemedlikeacentury，Gunterputhisphonedownandstartedthecar.續(xù)寫第一段可添加情節(jié)敘述：描寫Gunter人很好，不辭辛苦，愿意幫忙。Para.3Gunterparkedthetaxibehindthebus，turnedaround，andlookedatmewithabigsmileonhisface.續(xù)寫第一段可添加神態(tài)細(xì)節(jié)：面對“我”無錢支付，Gunter微笑著同意“我”先走。原文伏筆點(diǎn)過渡句中可與伏筆銜接的細(xì)節(jié)Para.1IhadplannedtoflytoViennaandtakeabustoPragueforaconference.續(xù)寫第一段結(jié)尾可添加“我”成功登上去布拉格的巴士，順利參加了會(huì)議的銜接句。Para.1ImetGunteronacold，wetandunforgettableeveninginSeptember.續(xù)寫第二段結(jié)尾可添加“我”對這段經(jīng)歷的感悟以呼應(yīng)該段開頭的“我”與Gunter見面。必要細(xì)節(jié)：原文中“我”做出的承諾續(xù)寫第一段可添加“我”提出要兌現(xiàn)承諾的情節(jié)。Step4沿原文特點(diǎn)，寫3好表達(dá)(準(zhǔn)確、豐富、地道)原文使用了多變的句式和生動(dòng)的描寫，恰到好處地推動(dòng)了情節(jié)的發(fā)展，如運(yùn)用了動(dòng)作鏈描寫講述“我”下飛機(jī)后匆忙搭乘出租車去趕最后一班巴士，運(yùn)用了形象的動(dòng)作描寫和生動(dòng)的神態(tài)描寫講述“我”和出租車司機(jī)Gunter經(jīng)過一番曲折和溝通后終于前往巴士站，運(yùn)用無靈主語描寫了“我”發(fā)現(xiàn)自己沒帶現(xiàn)金、銀行卡支付失敗以及取款機(jī)無法使用時(shí)的無助。續(xù)寫時(shí)應(yīng)學(xué)會(huì)借鑒和仿效，這樣才能與原文語言風(fēng)格保持一致。佳作賞析亮句解讀

[1]運(yùn)用現(xiàn)在分詞短語作狀語呼應(yīng)原文。[2]動(dòng)作鏈描寫有效銜接續(xù)寫第二段首句信息。[3]無靈主語句，生動(dòng)形象地描述“我”的感激之情。[4]呼應(yīng)原文，三連動(dòng)增強(qiáng)了動(dòng)作的畫面感。IranbacktoGunterandtoldhimthebadnews.Helookedatmeindisbelief，askingmewhattodo.(銜接句④)Givinghimanotherapologeticsmile[1]，IaskedhimforadelayinpaymentandpromisedtocallhimandpayhimbackthemoneyIowedhim.Tomysurprise，Gunterwrotedownhisphonenumberwithouthesitationandgaveittome[2].“Justkeepyourpromise，Sir.”

Afeelingofgratitudewashedoverme.[3]Igavehimafirmhandshake，madeamaddashforthebusandjumpedontoitjustbeforeitleft.[4](結(jié)尾句③)佳作賞析亮句解讀Fourdayslater，whenIwasbackinVienna，IcalledGunteraspromised.Wemetatthebusstationwherehehaddroppedmeofffourdaysbefore[5].(銜接句⑤)Assoon