2021年TED英語演講 如何在說話時(shí)表現(xiàn)出你的專業(yè)性

1、TED英語演講 如何在說話時(shí)表現(xiàn)出你的專業(yè)性 放聲說話并不是一件容易的事情，哥倫比亞大學(xué)商學(xué)院教授Adam Galinsky通過心理研究想出了許多解決這一問題的辦法。下面是為大家收集關(guān)于TED英語演講：如何在說話時(shí)表現(xiàn)出你的專業(yè)性，歡迎借鑒參考。 演說者：Adam Galinsky Speaking up is hard to do. I understood the true meaning of this phrase exactly one month ago, when my wife and I became new parents. It was an a _zing moment

2、. It was exhilarating and elating, but it was also scary and terrifying. And it got particularly terrifying when we got home from the hospital,and we were unsure whether our little baby boy was getting enough nutrients from breastfeeding. And we wanted to call our pediatrician, but we also didnt wan

3、t to _ke a bad first impression or e across as a crazy, neurotic parent. So we worried. And we waited. When we got to the doctors offi _ the next day, she immediately gave him formula because he was pretty dehydrated. Our son is fine now, and our doctor has reassured us we can always contact her. Bu

4、t in that moment, I shouldve spoken up, but I didnt. But sometimes we speak up when we shouldnt, and I learned that over 10 years ago when I let my twin brother down. My twin brother is a documentary film _ker, and for one of his first films, he got an offer from a distribution pany. He was excited,

5、 and he was inclined to aept the offer. But as a negotiations researcher, I insisted he _ke a counteroffer, and I helped him craft the perfect one.And it was perfect - it was perfectly insulting. The pany was so offended, they literally withdrew the offer and my brother was left with nothing. And Iv

6、e asked people all over the world about this dilem _ of speaking up: when they can assert themselves, when they can push their interests, when they can express an opinion, when they can _ke an ambitious ask. And the range of stories are varied and diverse, but they also _ke up a universal tapestry.

7、Can I correct my boss when they _ke a mistake? Can I confront my coworker who keeps stepping on my toes? Can I challenge my friends insensitive joke? Can I _ the person I love the most my deepest insecurities? And through these experien _s, Ive e to recognize that each of us have something called a

8、range of aeptable behavior. Now, sometimes were too strong; we push ourselves too much. Thats what happened with my brother. Even _ an offer was outside his range of aeptable behavior.But sometimes were too weak. Thats what happened with my wife and I. And this range of aeptable behaviors - when we

9、stay within our range, were rewarded. When we step outside that range, we get punished in a variety of ways. We get di _issed or demeaned or even ostracized. Or we lose that raise or that promotion or that deal. Now, the first thing we need to know is: What is my range? But the key thing is, our ran

10、ge isnt fixed;its actually pretty dynamic. It expands and it narrows based on the context. And theres one thing that determines that range more than anything else, and thats your power. Your power determines your range. What is power? Power es in lots of forms. In negotiations, it es in the form of

11、alternatives. So my brother had no alternatives; he lacked power. The pany had lots of alternatives; they had power. Sometimes its being new to a country, like an immigrant, or new to an organization or new to an experien _, like my wife and I as new parents. Sometimes its at work,where someones the

12、 boss and someones the subordinate. Sometimes its in relationships, where one persons more invested than the other person. And the key thing is that when we have lots of power, our range is very wide. We have a lot of leeway in how to behave. But when we lack power, our range narrows. We have very l

13、ittle leeway. The problem is that when our range narrows, that produ _s something called the low-power double bind.The low-power double bind happens when, if we dont speak up, we go unnoti _d, but if we do speak up, we get punished. Now, _ny of you have heard the phrase the double bind and connected

14、 it with one thing, and thats gender. The gender double bind is women who dont speak up go unnoti _d, and women who do speak up get punished. And the key thing is that women have the same need as men to speak up,but they have barriers to doing so. But what my research has shown over the last two dec

15、ades is that what looks like a gender differen _ is not really a gender double bind, its a really a low-power double bind. And what looks like a gender differen _ are really often just power differen _s in disguise.Oftentimes we see a differen _ between a _n and a wo _n or men and women, and think,

16、Biological cause. Theres something fundamentally different about the _es. But in study after study, Ive found that a better explanation for _ny _ differen _s is really power. And so its the low-power double bind. And the low-power double bind means that we have a narrow range, and we lack power. We

17、have a narrow range, and our double bind is very large. So we need to find ways to expand our range. And over the last couple decades, my colleagues and I have found two things really _tter. The first: you seem powerful in your own eyes. The second: you seem powerful in the eyes of others. When I fe

18、el powerful, I feel confident, not fearful; I expand my own range. When other people see me as powerful, they grant me a wider range. So we need tools to expand our range of aeptable behavior. And Im going to give you a set of tools today. Speaking up is risky, but these tools will lower your risk o

19、f speaking up. The first tool Im going to give you got discovered in negotiations in an important finding. On average, women _ke less ambitious offers and get worse outes than men at the bargaining table. But Hannah Riley Bowles and Emily A _natullah have discovered theres one situation where women

20、get the same outes as men and are just as ambitious. Thats when they advocate for others.When they advocate for others, they discover their own range and expand it in their own mind. They bee more assertive. This is sometimes called the _ _ bear effect. Like a _ _ bear defending her cubs, when we ad

21、vocate for others, we can discover our own voi _. But sometimes, we have to advocate for ourselves. How do we do that? One of the most important tools we have to advocate for ourselves is something called perspective-taking. And perspective-taking is really _: its simply looking at the world through

22、 the eyes of another person. Its one of the most important tools we have to expand our range. When I take your perspective, and I think about what you really want, youre more likely to give me what I really want. But heres the problem: perspective-taking is hard to do. So lets do a little experiment

23、. I want you all to hold your hand just like this: your finger - put it up. And I want you to draw a capital letter E on your forehead as quickly as possible. OK, it turns out that we can draw this E in one of two ways, and this was originally designed as a test of perspective-taking. Im going to sh

24、ow you two pictures of someone with an E on their forehead - my former student, Erika Hall. And you can see over here,thats the correct E. I drew the E so it looks like an E to another person. Thats the perspective-taking E because it looks like an E from someone elses vantage point. But this E over

25、 here is the self-focused E. We often get self-focused. And we particularly get self-focused in a crisis. I want to _ you about a particular crisis. A _n walks into a bank in Watsonville, California. And he says, Give me $2,000, or Im blowing the whole bank up with a bomb. Now, the bank _nager didnt

26、 give him the money. She took a step back. She took his perspective, and she noti _d something really important. He asked for a specific amount of money. So she said, Why did you ask for $2,000? And he said, My friend is going to be evicted unless I get him $2,000 immediately. And she said, Oh! You

27、dont want to rob the bank - you want to take out a loan. Why dont you e back to my offi _, and we can have you fill out the paperwork. Now, her quick perspective-taking defused a volatile situation. So when we take someones perspective, it allows us to be ambitious and assertive, but still be likabl

28、e. Heres another way to be assertive but still be likable, and that is to signal flexibility. Now, i _gine youre a car salesperson, and you want to sell someone a car. Youre going to more likely _ke the sale if you give them two options. Lets say option A: $24,000 for this car and a five-year warran

29、ty. Or option B: $23,000 and a three-year warranty. My research shows that when you give people a choi _ among options, it lowers their defenses, and theyre more likely to aept your offer. And this doesnt just work with salespeople; it works with parents. When my nie _ was four, she resisted getting

30、 dressed and rejected everything. But then my sister-in-law had a brilliant idea. What if I gave my daughter a choi _? This shirt or that shirt? OK, that shirt. This pant or that pant? OK, that pant. And it worked brilliantly. She got dressed quickly and without resistan _. When Ive asked the questi

31、on around the world when people feel fortable speaking up, the number one answer is: When I have social support in my au _n _; when I have allies. So we want to get allies on our side. How do we do that? Well, one of the ways is be a _ _ bear. When we advocate for others, we expand our range in our

32、own eyes and the eyes of others, but we also earn strong allies. Another way we can earn strong allies, especially in high pla _s, is by asking other people for advi _.When we ask others for advi _, they like us because we flatter them, and were expressing humility.And this really works to solve ano

33、ther double bind. And thats the self-promotion double bind. The self-promotion double bind is that if we dont advertise our aomplishments, no one noti _s. And if we do, were not likable. But if we ask for advi _ about one of our aomplishments, we are able to be petent in their eyes but also be likea

34、ble. And this is so powerful it even works when you see it ing. There have been multiple times in life when I have been forewarned that a low-power person has been given the advi _ to e ask me for advi _. I want you to noti _ three things about this: First, I knew they were going to e ask me for adv

35、i _. Two, Ive actually done research on the strategic benefits of asking for advi _. And three, it still worked! I took their perspective, I became more invested in their cause, I became more mitted to them because they asked for advi _. Now, another time we feel more confident speaking up is when w

36、e have expertise. Expertise gives us credibility. When we have high power, we already have credibility. We only need good eviden _.When we lack power, we dont have the credibility. We need ex _llent eviden _. And one of the ways we can e across as an expert is by tapping into our passion. I want eve

37、ryone in the next few days to go up to friend of theirs and just say to them, I want you to describe a passion of yours to me. Ive had people do this all over the world and I asked them, What did you noti _ about the other person when they described their passion? And the answers are always the same

38、.Their eyes lit up and got big. They _iled a big beaming _ile. They used their hands all over - I had to duck because their hands were ing at me. They talk quickly with a little higher pitch. They leaned in as if _ing me a secret. And then I said to them, What happened to you as you listened to thei

39、r passion? They said, My eyes lit up. I _iled. I leaned in. When we tap into our passion, we give ourselves the courage, in our own eyes, to speak up, but we also get the permission from others to speak up. Tapping into our passion even works when we e across as too weak. Both men and women get puni

40、shed at work when they shed tears. But Lizzie Wolf has shown that when we frame our strong emotions as passion, the condemnation of our crying disappears for both men and women. I want to end with a few words from my late father that he spoke at my twin brothers wedding. Heres a picture of us. My da

41、d was a psychologist like me, but his real love and his real passion was cine _,like my brother. And so he wrote a speech for my brothers wedding about the roles we play in the hu _n edy. And he said, The lighter your touch, the better you bee at improving and enriching your perfor _n _. Those who e

42、mbra _ their roles and work to improve their perfor _n _ grow, change and expand the self. Play it well, and your days will be mostly joyful. What my dad was saying is that weve all been assigned ranges and roles in this world. But he was also saying the essen _ of this talk: those roles and ranges

43、are constantly expanding and evolving. So when a s _ne calls for it, be a ferocious _ _ bear and a humble advi _ seeker. Have ex _llent eviden _ and strong allies. Be a passionate perspective taker. And if you use those tools - and each and every one of you can use these tools - you will expand your

44、 range of aeptable behavior, and your days will be mostly joyful. Thank you. 放大聲音得說話并不簡單。 我直到整整一個(gè)月前，當(dāng)我 與妻子初為父母的時(shí)候 才理解這個(gè)短語的真正用意。 那是一個(gè)神奇的時(shí)刻。 那是一個(gè)令人興奮 與激動(dòng)的時(shí)刻， 但是那也是可怕的， 令人恐懼的時(shí)刻。 當(dāng)我們剛從醫(yī)院回到家的時(shí)候， 尤其令人恐懼 我們并不確定 我們剛出生的寶寶是否 能從母乳中得到足夠的養(yǎng)分。 我們想打 _給我們的兒科醫(yī)生， 但是我們也不想給別人 留下不好的第一印象， 或者被當(dāng)作是瘋狂的， 神經(jīng)質(zhì)的父母。 所以我們很擔(dān)心。 但我們選擇

45、了等待。 當(dāng)我們第二天早上 去見醫(yī)生的時(shí)候， 她立刻給寶寶開了配方， 因?yàn)樗撍車?yán)重。 我們的 _現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)好了， 我們的醫(yī)生也讓我們放心， 可以隨時(shí) _她。 但是在那個(gè)時(shí)刻， 我應(yīng)該大聲說出來的，我卻沒做到。 但是有時(shí)我們也會(huì)在不該說話的時(shí)候 放聲大說， 我是在20xx年多以前，當(dāng)我讓我的 雙胞胎兄弟失望的時(shí)候，學(xué)會(huì)的。 我的雙胞胎兄弟 是一個(gè)紀(jì)錄片攝影師， 在他的早期作品中， 有一部得到了分銷公司的青睞。 他很激動(dòng)， 也傾向于接受這份邀請。 但是作為一名談判研究員， 我堅(jiān)持要求他拒絕這份邀請， 并幫助他起草了一份 _的合同。 而那確實(shí)是 _的- _的侮辱行為。 那家公司感到被冒犯了， 他們

46、就真的撤回了他們的邀請， 然后我兄弟就一無所有了。 我問過世界各地的人， 關(guān)于大聲說的兩難問題： 當(dāng)他們可以斷言的時(shí)候， 當(dāng)他們可以推動(dòng)自身利益的時(shí)候， 當(dāng)他們可以表達(dá)觀點(diǎn)的時(shí)候， 當(dāng)他們提出一個(gè)有抱負(fù)的要求的時(shí)候。 我聽過大量的，各不相同的故事， 但他們卻共同編織了同一幅繡帷。 我能在老板們犯錯(cuò)時(shí) 糾正他們的錯(cuò)誤嗎? 我能與老是踩到 我腳趾的同事對(duì)質(zhì)嗎? 我能質(zhì)疑朋友講的 不合時(shí)宜的笑話嗎? 我能告訴我最愛的人 我內(nèi)心深處的不安全感嗎? 通過這些經(jīng)歷，我開始認(rèn)識(shí)到 我們每個(gè)人都是有一個(gè) 可接受行為范圍的。 有些時(shí)候，我們太強(qiáng)勢了： 我們給自己負(fù)壓太大。 那就是發(fā)生在我兄弟身上的 _所表明的。

47、 甚至提出一個(gè)建議，都是在他 可接受行為范圍之外的了 但是有時(shí)，我們又太軟弱了。 就是我和我妻子所表現(xiàn)出來的。 而這個(gè)可接受行為范圍- 當(dāng)我們呆在范圍內(nèi)的時(shí)候， 我們就會(huì)被獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)。 當(dāng)我們跨出范圍圈的時(shí)候， 我們就會(huì)受到不同形式的懲罰。 我們被開除或貶低，甚至被排斥。 我們失去加薪或晉升，或是一筆交易。 現(xiàn)在，我們需要明白的第一件事就是： 我的域是什么? 但關(guān)鍵問題是，我們的 可接受范圍并不固定;它實(shí)際上是高度動(dòng)態(tài)的。 它會(huì)隨具體語境而放大或縮小。 有一樣?xùn)|西在可接受范圍大小 這件事上起決定性作用， 那就是你的實(shí)力。 你的實(shí)力決定了你的可接受范圍域。 實(shí)力是指什么? 實(shí)力是以各種形式呈現(xiàn)的。 在

48、談判中，實(shí)力以 其他解決方案的形式呈現(xiàn)。 而我的兄弟沒有其他選擇; 他的實(shí)力不夠。 公司就有很多的備用選擇; 他們的實(shí)力很強(qiáng)。 有時(shí)是新到一個(gè)國家， 例如 _， 或是新加入一個(gè) _，或是對(duì)什么事情沒有經(jīng)驗(yàn)， 就像我和我妻子初為人父母。 有的時(shí)候是在工作上， 有人是老板， 而另一些人是下屬。 有時(shí)是在情感上， 一個(gè)人比另一個(gè)人投入更多重點(diǎn)是，當(dāng)我們有強(qiáng)大的實(shí)力時(shí)， 我們的可接受范圍 就會(huì)變得非常廣。 我們的行動(dòng)就有了很大的余地。 但是當(dāng)我們實(shí)力不足時(shí)， 我們的域就會(huì)縮小。 我們行動(dòng)就變得局限。 問題是當(dāng)我們的 可接受范圍縮小的時(shí)候， 就會(huì)進(jìn)入一種“弱勢兩難”的處境。 當(dāng)我們陷入“弱勢兩難”的處境

49、時(shí)， 我們不為自己說話，就會(huì)被忽視， 當(dāng)我們說出來的時(shí)候，又會(huì)被懲罰。 你們中的很多人都聽過 “雙重約束”這個(gè)短語， 并把它和另一樣事物掛鉤， 就是性別。 性別兩難就是指當(dāng)女性不發(fā)聲， 就會(huì)被忽視， 但女性為自己說話， 又會(huì)被懲罰的情況。 關(guān)鍵是，女性有著 與男性同樣的為自己說話的需求 但她們這樣做會(huì)遇到更多的障礙。 但是我在過去 _年里的研究中發(fā)現(xiàn)， 這個(gè)看似是性別差異，其實(shí)并不是真正的性別兩難困境， 其實(shí)是弱勢兩難的問題。 那些表面上看似是性別差異 其實(shí)質(zhì)只是實(shí)力差異偽裝成的樣子。 很多時(shí)候，當(dāng)我們看到一位男性和一位女性之間的差距時(shí)， 或者男性與女性之間， 我們就會(huì)想，“生理因素。 兩性在

50、本質(zhì)上就是不同的。” 但是在一個(gè)又一個(gè)的研究當(dāng)中， 我找到了一個(gè)能更好解釋 很多案例中性別差距的原因 那就是實(shí)力。 所以把它稱作弱勢兩難困境。 處于弱勢兩難就意味著 我們的可接受范圍很窄 我們實(shí)力不足。 我們的可接受范圍越窄， 我們的弱勢兩難就越明顯。 所以我們必須找到方法， 擴(kuò)大我們的可接受范圍。 在過去的幾十年中， 我和我的同事找到了 兩個(gè)重要的影響因素 第一點(diǎn)：你在自己眼中是實(shí)力者。 第二點(diǎn)：你在他人眼中是實(shí)力者。 當(dāng)感到自己實(shí)力強(qiáng)大， 就會(huì)很自信，不會(huì)害怕; 就能擴(kuò)大自己的域。 當(dāng)他人把自己看作實(shí)力強(qiáng)大的人時(shí)， 他們就給予了我更廣的可接受范圍。 所以我們需要工具去擴(kuò)大 我們的可接受行為

51、范圍。 我今天就要給你們一套工具。 大聲說是有風(fēng)險(xiǎn)的一件事， 但是這些工具會(huì)降低大聲說的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。 我要給你們的第一個(gè)工具 是在協(xié)商領(lǐng)域被發(fā)現(xiàn)的， 是很重要的一個(gè)發(fā)現(xiàn)。 平均來看，女性在談判桌上， 相比男性， 更少的提出有野心的條件， 并取得更差的結(jié)果。 但是漢娜賴?yán)U里斯 和艾米麗阿曼圖拉發(fā)現(xiàn) 在有一種情況下，女性 和男性是同等的野心勃勃 也能得到同等的結(jié)果。 那就是當(dāng)她們在為他人說話的時(shí)候。 當(dāng)她們在為他人說話時(shí)， 她們就會(huì)發(fā)覺自己的 可接受范圍并在腦海中擴(kuò)大它。 她們變得更加自信。 這就是我們經(jīng)常說的“熊媽媽效應(yīng)”。 就像熊媽媽在維護(hù)自己的熊寶寶， 當(dāng)我們?yōu)樗寺晱埖臅r(shí)候， 我們就能發(fā)掘自己

52、的聲音。 但是有些時(shí)候， 我們必須為自己放聲說。 我們應(yīng)該怎么做呢? 為自己講話需要的 最重要的工具就是 一種叫做“換位思考”的東西。 “換位思考”其實(shí)很簡單： 就僅僅是通過另一個(gè)人的 眼睛看世界而已。 這是我們擴(kuò)大自身可接受范圍 的最重要的工具。 當(dāng)我站在你的立場， 去想你真正想要什么的時(shí)候， 你就更有可能給我，我真正想要的。 但是這有一個(gè)問題： “換位思考”是一件很難的事情。 讓我們做一點(diǎn)兒實(shí)驗(yàn)。 我希望你們所有人都像這樣， 把手舉起來， 把手指豎起來， 我希望你們在自己的額頭上寫一個(gè)大寫的E 越快越好。 好吧，結(jié)果表明我們 有兩種不同的書寫方法， 這就是原本用來測試 換位思考的實(shí)驗(yàn)。 我

53、要給你們展示兩張人們在額頭上寫著E的 _- 這是我以前的學(xué)生，艾麗卡赫尓。 你們在這里看到的， 是正確的E。 我這樣畫E，所以其他人 就能把它認(rèn)成E。 這就是“換位思考”的E，因?yàn)樗莿e人眼中的E。 但是這邊的E則是“自我中心”的E。 我們時(shí)常會(huì)以自我為中心。 特別是在危機(jī)情況下更容易。 我希望和你們談?wù)?一次特別的危機(jī)。 一個(gè)男人走進(jìn)一家位于加利福尼亞州， 沃森維爾市的銀行。 他說，“給我20xx美金， 要不我就炸了整個(gè)銀行?！?而銀行經(jīng)理沒有給他錢。 她退了一步。 她嘗試站在他的角度， 她注意到了一件很重要的事情。 他要求的是具體數(shù)額的錢。 所以她說， “ _你需要20xx美金?” 男人說，“如果不能立即拿到20xx美金， 我的朋友就要被驅(qū)逐出境了?！?然后經(jīng)理說， “哦，那你不是要 _- 你是需要貸款?！?“ _不跟我回到辦公室， 我們就可以讓你填好需要的文件?！?她的快速換位思考的 能力解除了一個(gè)危機(jī)形勢。 當(dāng)我們能夠從他人的角度看問題時(shí)， 我們就會(huì)變得有抱負(fù)， 自信，但同時(shí)招人喜歡。 還有另一種能讓我們既自信， 又能招人喜歡的辦法， 那就是展現(xiàn)靈活性。 現(xiàn)在，想象自己是一名汽車銷售員， 你要賣給別人一輛車。 如果你能給他們兩種選擇， 你更容易賣出車