名師指導(dǎo)四級(jí)寫作提高如何改寫范文

1、名師指導(dǎo)四級(jí)寫作提高：如何改寫范文在復(fù)習(xí)準(zhǔn)備四級(jí)寫作時(shí)，我們應(yīng)該按照“謀篇、段落、句子、措辭”（如圖一）“四步走”的宏觀復(fù)習(xí)方式來準(zhǔn)備。我們應(yīng)該將以往的范文作為框架，從謀篇布局著手，加以潤(rùn)色字詞句的修飾，將其變成自己的四級(jí)高分作文。學(xué)習(xí)范文或掌握優(yōu)秀作文是打破提高自己傳統(tǒng)寫作語言的第一步。下面我們通過2005年12月四級(jí)范文，分析學(xué)習(xí)如何提純范文中的“謀篇、段落、句子、措辭”并加以利用，使其變成自己的語言。Should the University Campus Be Open to Tourist？1. 名校校園正成為旅游新熱點(diǎn)2. 校園是否應(yīng)對(duì)游客開放，人們看法不同3. 我認(rèn)為考試大論壇S

2、hould the University Campus Be Open to Tourists?Nowadays, many famous university campuses have become one of the popular tourist attractions. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of middle school students visit Tsing Hua University and Peking University an

3、d other famous universities in China. In the place far away from the capital city, the local students also visit the universities famous in their own province.So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists? Different people have dif

4、ferent opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for the students to visit the famous university campus in that it can enable the middle students to get more information about the university and they can have enough time and opportunity to prepare themselves with the chance t

5、o get into the university. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the public tourism will have negative effect on the universities because it will not only do harm to the environment but also to the intellectual atmosphere.In my opinion, the tour

6、ism to the universities is not a good thing. The campus is mainly a place for study. With the increasing tourism on the campus, it will ruin the spiritual atmosphere in this learning field.首先，提純范文 “謀篇布局”及結(jié)構(gòu)模板。第一段：提出問題或現(xiàn)象。Nowadays, have become one of the popular . It has been shown on TV and on the r

7、adio that .第二段：正反列舉人們的看法。So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to ? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for in that . On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their op

8、inion, will have negative effect on because it will not only do harm to but also to .第三段：擺明自己觀點(diǎn)。In my opinion, is not a good thing. With the increasing , it will ruin .其次，提純范文“段落寫作”。來源：考試大的美女編輯們段落寫作分為統(tǒng)一性，連貫性和完整性三方面。統(tǒng)一性（unity）：段落開頭的主題句應(yīng)該做到不可太寬泛，也不可太具體，做到有較強(qiáng)的概括性才能使下文做到有的放矢的展開。范文第二段首句以設(shè)問的方式提出一個(gè)問題is it

9、a good or bad thing就有很強(qiáng)的概況性。下文自然會(huì)一方面從好的方面說明，另一方面從壞的方面說明。連貫性（coherence）：關(guān)聯(lián)詞是使文章段落之間相互連貫的必要條件。范文中nowadays, on one hand, on the other hand, in ones opinion即以“啟承轉(zhuǎn)合”遞進(jìn)的順序是文章條理清晰，層層展開。完整性（completeness）：以設(shè)問句“So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university camp

10、us for tourists?”開頭，這是平時(shí)較少運(yùn)用的段落寫作方式設(shè)問法?！癘n one hand . On the other hand, .”是段落寫作分類列舉法的典型用法再次，提純范文“句子寫作”。1. It has been shown that 類似句型：It is known to us that It is said that It is reported that It is controversial that 2. “ Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities 。”并

11、列句。并列句是簡(jiǎn)單的復(fù)雜句。但其運(yùn)用方法并不簡(jiǎn)單，注意練習(xí)并接句的使用，會(huì)使句子顯的更加飽滿。3. enable v. 使能夠I gave him full directions to enable him to find the house.4. in that = because表“因?yàn)椤钡倪B詞還有since, for, as，如：The boy was absent because he was ill. = The boy was absent since he was ill.此句以我們常用的人稱開頭，句式簡(jiǎn)單，我們可以通過把since提前改變句式，如：Since the boy w

12、as ill, he was absent. 句式多樣化。最后，提純范文“措辭”。1. attraction n. 具有吸引力的事情。2. thousands and thousands 成千上萬的形容“多”的表達(dá)方法：millions and millionsa multitude ofa great deal ofa large amount ofplenty ofmany a3. “some people argued that ”中的“argue”并不是“討論，辯論”的意思，而是“認(rèn)為”。I argue that I maintain that I claim that I insis

13、t that = I think that I hold that I assert that I assume that 4. negative adj. 否定的，相反的hold negative view = hold opposite opinions5. phenomenon n. 現(xiàn)象social phenomenon 社會(huì)現(xiàn)象natural phenomenon 自然現(xiàn)象6. intellectual adj. 聰明的= intelligent, bright, clever（選詞策略：使用最近所學(xué)的單詞，如intellectual > intelligent > br

14、ight > clever）在分析并掌握范文之后，我們需要運(yùn)用范文知識(shí)練習(xí)仿寫。筆者運(yùn)用2005年12月范文中的模板結(jié)構(gòu)仿寫了2006年12月的四級(jí)作文，以供參考：1. 許多人喜歡在除夕夜看春節(jié)晚會(huì)2. 但有些人提出取消春節(jié)晚會(huì)3. 我的看法Nowadays, the Spring Festival Evening has become one of the popular topic and attractions during every traditional New Years Eve. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that

15、every year thousands and thousands of Chinese people appear to be accustomed to enjoying the sights and sounds of a brilliant feast, while gathering with their beloved family.However, an increasing number of people have voiced different opinions towards it. So far as the present situation is concern

16、ed, is it a good or bad thing to cancel the Spring Festival Evening? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing to amuse the audience in that it is composed by a numerous adequate programs, such as the emotional song, the graceful dance, the fun

17、ny short sketch, the amusing comic dialogue, the delightful magic, and the marvelous acrobatics and so on. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the Spring Festival Evening will have negative effect on the family harmony because it will not only

18、 do harm to having the talks between family members on the Spring Festival Eve but also to enjoying the gourmet meal in a fancy restaurant.In my opinion, the Spring Festival Evening is a good thing. It may not remain a must for all people, but it can bring us a strong sense of festivity and serve as

19、 an alternative among the variety of holiday activities. With the increasing audience of the Spring Festival Evening, it will ruin a distinctive culture during the Spring Festival vacation.來源：考試大寄語：分析范文或優(yōu)秀作文是我們學(xué)好寫作的第一步。不要小看任何的優(yōu)秀小短文，那其中一定有需要你掌握的內(nèi)容。To see a world in a grain of sand,And a heaven in a w

20、ild flower,Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,And eternity in an hour.一沙一世界，一花一天堂，手中即無限，永恒亦短暫  春節(jié)作文寫春節(jié)作文前，我們可以先回憶下過春節(jié)是我們參加過的活動(dòng)，如貼倒福、分壓歲錢、吃餃子、撣揚(yáng)塵、貼年畫、貼剪紙、放鞭炮、守歲、給壓歲錢、掛千千結(jié)、貼春聯(lián)等，然后挑一個(gè)我們印象深刻的上網(wǎng)查些資料，可以到百度搜春節(jié)的八個(gè)習(xí)俗，春節(jié)的由來與傳說等，也可以上作文網(wǎng)作文素材頻道找到相關(guān)資料再進(jìn)行介紹。 作文題目可以自擬，如歡度春節(jié)，春節(jié)游文廟，除夕之夜，美麗的春節(jié)，春節(jié)花會(huì) 開頭部分：大致介紹一

21、下春節(jié)，及春節(jié)的一些習(xí)俗，點(diǎn)明你所要介紹的習(xí)俗。（略寫）第二部分：介紹這一習(xí)俗的來歷、象征意義等，像剪紙、年畫、千千結(jié)等還可以寫寫這些物品的種類、樣子等。（詳細(xì)）第三部分：回憶自己參與這一活動(dòng)的情景。（詳細(xì)）結(jié)尾結(jié)尾部分：寫寫自己對(duì)這一習(xí)俗的感受。    每個(gè)部分舉例：    開頭部分：大致介紹一下春節(jié)，及春節(jié)的一些習(xí)俗，點(diǎn)明你所要介紹的習(xí)俗。（略寫）例：元宵節(jié)是我國的四大節(jié)日之一，元宵節(jié)一過，春節(jié)也就算過完了，所以這一天是非常隆重和熱鬧的。過元宵節(jié)的節(jié)目豐富多彩，有充滿樂趣的看花燈猜燈謎，有喜氣洋洋的舞龍，還有熱鬧非凡的賽龍船。不過

22、，最吸引我們小孩子的卻是那多姿多彩的煙花。 第二部分：介紹這一習(xí)俗的來歷、象征意義等，像剪紙、年畫、千千結(jié)等還可以寫寫這些物品的種類、樣子等。（詳細(xì)） 例：春聯(lián)代表著歡樂祥和。在我們中國，每逢春節(jié)，無論城市還是農(nóng)村，家家戶戶都要精選一副大紅春聯(lián)貼在門上，為節(jié)日增加喜慶的氣氛。一幅幅春聯(lián)不僅帶來了吉祥和祝福，還帶來了中國古老的濃濃的文化氣息。瞧！“大地春光好，長(zhǎng)天曉日紅”、“歲歲皆如意，年年盡平安”、“江山萬里如畫，神州四時(shí)皆春”、“春風(fēng)送春處處*美，喜鵲報(bào)喜家家喜事多” 幅幅春聯(lián)讓千家萬戶喜氣盈門。春聯(lián)的種類比較多。按照使用場(chǎng)所，可分為門心、框?qū)?、橫批、春條、斗方等。因此，貼的位置也不同，如“

23、門心”貼在門板上端中心部位；“橫批”貼在門楣的橫木上。 第三部分：回憶自己參與這一活動(dòng)的情景。（詳細(xì)） 例：記得去年元宵節(jié)的晚上爸爸媽媽帶我去工人體育館看煙花。八點(diǎn)整，只聽見幾聲沉悶的聲音，一個(gè)個(gè)煙花帶著紅紅的火星竄上了天空，幾聲脆響，夜空綻放出幾朵美麗的花朵。它們的形狀和顏色各不相同，有五顏六色的滿天星，金黃色的蒲公英，紫色的牽?；?，火紅的玫瑰花，粉紅的月季、銀色的百合，真是絢麗多彩。隨著一聲聲的炮響，人們?cè)隗@呼，在贊嘆，夜色中，人們微微揚(yáng)起的臉上也變幻著多姿的色彩，露出了幸福的笑容 結(jié)尾結(jié)尾部分：寫寫自己對(duì)這一習(xí)俗的感受。  例：我看著那散發(fā)著傳統(tǒng)文化芳香的中華結(jié)，仿佛品味到了中

24、華民族遠(yuǎn)古的神秘和東方的靈秀。它的古香古色，它的千變?nèi)f化，讓我神往，讓我遐想春節(jié)的街頭 今天，是中國傳統(tǒng)節(jié)日春節(jié)。早晨我還沒醒，就聽到了鞭炮的聲音。平靜的社區(qū)，今日顯得熱鬧非凡。這熱鬧的喧囂，把我的睡意一股腦的全都打撒開來。于是，起床穿上了新衣服連早飯都來不及吃就沖到門外，看著各家各戶的炮竹，煙花。接著就是跟爸爸媽媽一起去走街串巷拜年！ “李伯伯，新年快樂”“王阿姨，工作順了”“劉奶奶，身體健康”···跟所有的長(zhǎng)輩們拜過年之后，媽媽提議說：一會(huì)，去街上看看，感受下新年的氣氛。 一上街，街上可就更熱鬧了。人們手里有提著大袋大袋的菜，身邊的孩子手上握著一大把小花炮，蹦

25、蹦跳跳地跑著?？?！我左邊的一位四、五歲左右的小女孩，跑到前面去。一下子又轉(zhuǎn)過頭對(duì)一位滿手是鼓鼓的袋子的大人喊著：“爸爸，快點(diǎn)！我要回去放炮玩呢！”。有拿著那邊超市發(fā)的小氣球的，紅的，黃的，綠的，還有藍(lán)的。也有三五成群，手挽著手說說笑笑的姑娘們，小伙子們，忙綠了一年，辛苦了一年，我想這個(gè)時(shí)候應(yīng)該是大家最放松，最高興的時(shí)候。你看，路燈上還掛著兩個(gè)小紅燈，喜氣洋洋的。就像在說，“我們也要過新年，我們也要過新年”。 一進(jìn)菜市場(chǎng)，那才更熱鬧呢！人流竄動(dòng)，一眼望去，什么也看不見，全是人。還有那翠綠的黃瓜，可真新鮮哪，你看，那金黃色的小花在太陽的照射下顯得多么的生機(jī)勃勃啊。那鯽魚，鰱魚，青魚，草魚等等在水里

26、游來游去，真是印證了我們中國的老話：年年有魚（余）！黃的韭菜，紅的番茄，黑的木耳，白的蘿卜···真是要什么有什么呀。“哎喲！可真夠擠的?！蔽亦止玖艘痪洹８鴭寢屬I了幾個(gè)我愛吃的菜，結(jié)完帳就走出了菜場(chǎng)。超市里的收銀臺(tái)前也早已排起了長(zhǎng)龍。 傍晚時(shí)分，街上，又漸漸安靜下來。店主們把店子關(guān)了，超市也比往常早了些許關(guān)門。大家都提著東西回家過年去了。 到了晚上6點(diǎn)左右，社區(qū)漸漸安靜，孩子們都回家吃團(tuán)圓飯去了。吃完團(tuán)圓飯7、8點(diǎn)的樣子社區(qū)又重新熱鬧起來。孩子們?nèi)汲鰜矸呕ㄅ诹恕＿@個(gè)放個(gè)“降落傘，”那個(gè)又放個(gè)“天女撒花”····各式各樣的花炮全有。每放完一個(gè)都會(huì)聚集好幾個(gè)孩子，他們?cè)谟懻撜l的花炮最美