Business-Writing(商務英語寫作講座)課件

1、Business Writing Hu Yingkun August 12 , 2007Outline Part I Fundamentals of Business Writing Part IICriteria for Effective Business Writing Part III Sample LessonPart IV Problems to Be Tackled in This Course Part V Requirements for TeachersBooks that has influenced me Basic Business Communication (19

2、91) by Raymond V. Lesikar Business communication ( 1998) ( 2005) by Carol M. Lehman (Thomson publishing house; 東北財經大學出版社) Part 1 FundamentalsTheories related to communications1.1 Human needs 1.2 Stroking and Johari window1.3 Theory X and Theory Y of management 1.4 Marketing concept 1.1 Maslows Hiera

3、rchy of NeedsPHYSIOLOGICALSAFTYSOCIALESTEEMSELF ACTUALI-ZATIONHuman needs ( Abraham Maslow)Lower level needs physiological Safety Social Higher level needs EsteemSelf-actualization 1.2 Stroking and Johari windowStroking Transactional term (相互作用分析） for identifying the way others give recognition to a

4、 person Positive stroke, E.g. receiving congratulatory phone calls or letter Negative stroke, E.g. receiving hurtful comments Johari WindowChapter 1IFree or open areaIIBlind areaIIIHidden areaIVUnknown areaJohari window1. Free or open area-what we know about ourselves and others about us.2. Blind ar

5、ea - others know about us, but we dont know about ourselves3. Hidden area - Things we know about ourselves, other dont know4. Unknown area - things we dont know and others dont know about us Johari windowThe purpose is to expand the open area , decrease the bind and hidden area , therefore leading t

6、o higher level of interpersonal sharing.Trust is something that must be earned.Trust and openness lead to better communication between two people In business we aim at both task oriented communication and emotional communication 1.3 Theory X of Management Styles Douglas Mcgregor , a management theor

7、ist attempted to distinguish between the old and the modern style of management Theory X : traditional style, meet lower level of human needs, exercise strong control over the employees, employ external incentives, E. G. job and a paycheck Theory Y of Management Styles Modern styleMeet higher level

8、needsBalance control and individual freedom Lessen the external motivation E.G empowerment 1.4 Changes in Marketing Mix from 4 Ps to 4Cs4 psProductPrice Place Promotion 4 csCustomerCostConvenience Communication 4 PsProduct - design or production Price and place distribution Promotion - marketing com

9、munication The 4ps determine how a good or service is made and provided, how much it cost, where it is distributed and how it is presented in all company communication4 csCustomer focus on customers wants and needs versus product Cost what it costs a customer to own a product instead of how to price

10、 a product ( e. g. car- considering the repair cost)Convenience - ( place) focus on how easy it is for customers to acquire the product, rather than how easy for the company to distribute it ( e.g. Coca Cola convince restaurants to offer its products , as well as making them widely available in ever

11、y type of stores4cs ( continued )Communication Traditionally promotion has meant sending brand messages and offers to customers, using one-way communication. The new way of thinking focuses on opening up opportunities for dialogue, from telling and selling to listening and learningPart II. Criteria

12、for Effective Business Writing 2.1 Courtesy 2.2 Correctness 2.3 Conciseness 2.4 Clarity 2.5 Concreteness2.6 Completeness2.1 CourtesyTreating people with respect and concern 2.1.1. You view points2.1.2. Conversational language2.1.3. words of positive effect 2.1.4. other techniques2.1.1 You view- poin

13、tsWriter centered I am happy to inform you We have been quite tolerant of your past-due account and must now demand paymentWe have received your report of May 1.You- view -point You will be glad to know If you are to continue to enjoy the benefits of credit buying, you will clear your account nowTha

14、nk you for your report of May 12.1.2. Conversational languageDull and stiffPlease be advised that your should sign the form before the 1st.Kindly advise at an early dateI herewith hand you Thanking you in advance Conversational You should sign the form before the 1stPlease let me know soon.Here is I

15、ll sincerely appreciate 2.1.3 words of positive effectNegative We cannot deliver until Friday We regret to inform you that we must deny your request for credit You were wrong in your conclusion , for paragraph 3 of our agreement clearly states Positive We can deliver the good on FridayFor the time b

16、eing , we can serve you only on a cash basis.You will agree after reading paragraph 3 of our agreement that 2.1.4 other techniques Single our your readerswriting for the one situation, the reader is getting individual attention and treatmentAvoid condescending tones E.g. You need. You wantyou must .

17、Tend to talk down to the reader, making them feel bad Do more than expected E.g. suggest alternatives make counterproposal Being sincere Avoid exaggeration 2.2 CorrectnessIn term of grammar, punctuation, spelling, using accurate information basic in business writing E.g. Boot VS Boat Mistakes may re

18、sult in the impression that you are not competent; You didnt give them much respect # Bring economic losses to the business# are harmful for relationship ( (examples to be continued) Eliminate misplaced elementsWe have taken the check to the bank , which was unsigned The three year budgets are being

19、 returned to the strategic planning committee, which have some serious defectsWe have taken the check which was unsigned to the bank.The three year budgets, which have some serious defects, are being returned to the committee.Eliminate dangling modifiersTo create that bar chart, the information must

20、 be keyed into a spreadsheet file.Although tied, the feasibility report had to be completedTo create that bar chart, you must key the information into a spreadsheet file.Although she was tied, Sonia had to complete the feasibility report2.3 concisenessInclude only those details that the receiver nee

21、ds; and state these details in the fewest possible wordsEliminate redundancy ( e.g. end result , full and complete ) Eliminate clichs that are often wordyDont restate ideas that are sufficiently implied (examples to be continued) WordyThere are four rules that should be observed In the period betwee

22、n April and July we detected the problemThe price increase will afford the company an opportunity to retire the debt.Concise Four rules should be observed Between April and July we detected the problemThe price increase will enable the company to retire the debt2.4 Clarity- tells the readers exactly

23、 what they want and need - show concern for the readers - Short sentence, familiar words- Big men use small words ; small men use big words(examples to be continued)Examples Formal words Terminate ProcureRemunerateElucidate Utilize Informal words End GetPayExplain Use2.5 ConcretenessUse action verbs

24、Passive voice states the facts; active verbs present pictures in readers mind.Specific information exerts more impression on the readers mind (examples to be continued)Action verbs and specific expressionsIf you step in the treadmill to begin your workout, you will immediately enjoy the smooth even

25、movementOver 95% of our customers have been satisfied with our serviceHe is among the top five in the class of 60.Passive voices and general expressionsThe treadmill is powered by two horsepower motor Many customers have been satisfied with our products service.He is an excellent student.2.6 Complet

26、eness Include all the necessary information and data in the messageIncomplete message may result in increased communication, loss of goodwill, sales and valued customers Following the six cs standards, you can (1) accomplish your task get thing done , and (2) maintain goodwill with customers.(exampl

27、es to be continued) Dear Sirs, We ordered 50 Dell computers from your company. Today we received the goods and find that 49 computers are in good condition. We are regretful to tell you that 1 computer is in bad condition. We will be happy if you replace the computer or refund the money. We think th

28、at will be beneficial to our relation. Sincerely yours, Dear Sirs: Thank you for the prompt delivery of 50 Dell computers f Pentium 468 under order 245. All of them work well but one. In trial operation, the computer failed to start. We checked and found no problem with the power, and our technician

29、 could not solve the problem. Would you either send a technician to see what is wrong with it or replace it in 10 ten days. Your cooperation is appreciated . Your sincerely, Part III Sample lesson Chapter 3 inquiries and requestStep one : ( Group discussion ) Warm up Questions Please list the circum

30、stances under which you need to write inquires and request, and the situations in which a business need to write inquiries and request? When you write an inquiry, what order will you follow? Step two : ( class work)Read the introduction of writing principle for inquiry and request.Step Three :(pair

31、work , group activities)study Letter A and B, which are written according to the principleDiscuss how they are organized Recognize useful expressions in them Write according to the examples Example: Inquiry about cotton bed-sheets ( writer after letter A ) information to be inquired : - Price - Deli

32、very time- Terms of payment - Discount Step four Make sample analysis inquiries Sample 3-1 and 3-2: good examples of inquiries about products Sample 3-5 : poor example of inquiries Request Sample 3-3 and 3-4 : good examples request for information Sample 3-6: poor example of requestAnalyze every let

33、ter in terms of ( class work) What tasks it is meant to accomplish How it is organized How well it follows the 6 cs . point out the useful expressions used , Pay attention to how the letter begins and endsStep five ( group work or class work)Improve the one which is not well written E.g. For Sample

34、3-5 (examples to be continued)The original We met during the Spring Guangzhou Fair 2004 and would like to know whether you are in a position to offers us Gastrodia elata of Sichuan origin.Our Customers are bad need of this medical herb, we shall be pleased to hear from you at an early date Looking f

35、orward to your swift reply.AnalysisBeginning is good, mention the products that you are interested in The information requested is not complete and specific.Writer centered weThe ending is rubber stamp Improved Would you kindly let me know whether you are in a position to offers us Gastrodia elata o

36、f Sichuan origin.Gastonia elata you displayed at the Spring Fair in Guangzhow last month aroused my interest, and we had a brief discussion about it. Now, one of my customers is badly in need of Gastrodia elata of Sichuan origin. Please give your price CIF Shanghai, terms of payment, and earliest de

37、livery time so that we can place order with you. Your prompt reply would be appreciated. Writing task Step six ( group work ) Task one 100 desktop computer Installed in the lab for students this term place an order Inquire about price, delivery time, and discount (examples to be continued)Task one D

38、ear Sirs:Would please send us details of Desktop Computer III which you advertised on Business Journal last week. Please inform us of the best price and indicate the earliest delivery time. We would like to know whether you can give us discount if we order a large quantity, say over 100 sets. As our

39、 university is going to upgrade the teaching facilities this semester we are considering buying computers of good quality and at reasonable price.We would appreciate it very much if you can offer us the information we need.Dear Dean Liu Yongze: ( Writing task two, requesting for information) As I wi

40、ll begin to study in the Accounting Department of DUFE in September this year, Id like you to help me with related information of the major. Would you please let me know the following:1. Besides Accounting related coursed, what other courses do you offer?2. Are there any opportunities of going abroa

41、d, while we study in DUFE?3. Do you provide facilities to access to the Internet? I am eager to study with the teachers in your department. I hope I will have a wonderful experience in your school.I am expecting to meet you on September 9. Check Your Work( pair work) Have you completed the task?Is your layout correct?Do you have all the correct information?Is it ordered in the best way?Is the language appropriate for the occasion?have you check