高考二輪復(fù)習(xí)之讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)解題指導(dǎo)(共38張)-“黃岡杯”一等獎(jiǎng)

Techniques(技巧)ofdetailpolishingIwasnervous.Myfacebegantosweat(流汗).TomJackTip1:usedetaileddescriptionsIwasnervous.Whosoundsmoreconvincing(有信服力的)?DavidMomHowdidtheyfeel?WhoBroketheVasenervousangrycastanervousglanceat…h(huán)isheartbeatwildlyhishands/body/legsslightlyshake/tremblebeswallowedbynervousnessdarenotlookmomintheeyehisfaceturnpaletakeadeepbreathclosehiseyesshout/yellhervoicetrembleclenchherfistshereyeswerewideopenglareathimbeconsumedwithangerstampherfootpointat…castanervousglanceat…h(huán)isheartbeatwildlyhishands/body/legsslightlyshake/tremblebeswallowedbynervousnessdarenotlookmomintheeyehisfaceturnpaletakeadeepbreathclosehiseyesnervousI_____________.Ifeltverynervous.Myheart_____________.Theteacheraskedme,“Areyoualright?”Myface_____________.__________________.TomGradingstandardoflanguage(評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn))：所使用語(yǔ)法(grammar)結(jié)構(gòu)豐富性和準(zhǔn)確性。所使用詞匯(expressions)的豐富性和準(zhǔn)確性。有效使用語(yǔ)句間連接(connection)成分，使短文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊。Iclosedmyeyes.Ifeltverynervous.Myheartwasbeatingwildly.Theteacheraskedme,“Areyoualright?”Myfaceturnedpale.Mybodytrembled.Istheparagraphcorrectingrammar?Istheparagraphrichinvocabulary?Isthereanyconnectionintheparagraph?Howtoconnectdescriptions?Onepossibleversion:Hecastanervousglanceatthebrokenvase,whichmadehisheartbeatwildly.Davidimmediatelyranintohisbedroomandtookabooktoread,withhishandsslightlyshaking.Momwasshoutingsoangrilythathervoicewastrembling.Swallowedbynervousness,Daviddarednotlookmomintheeye.Momclenchedherfistswithhereyeswideopen.David’sfaceturnedpalewhenhesawmomglaringathim.Consumedwithanger,momstampedherfoot,pointingatthemess.Witheyesclosed,Davidtookadeepbreath,pouringoutthetruth.Howtoconnect(連接)descriptions?Tip2:useproperwaystoconnectdescriptionsTom①I(mǎi)closedmyeyes.②Ifeltverynervous.③Myheartwasbeatingwildly.④Theteacheraskedme,“Areyoualright?”⑤Myfaceturnedpale.

⑥Mybodytrembled.①+②：Ifelt_____nervous_____Iclosedmyeyes_______nervous,Iclosedmyeyes_______myeyesclosed,Ifeltverynervous___________nervousness,Iclosedmyeyes+③,_____myheartwasbeatingwildly.,_____myheartbeatingwildly.}④+⑤+⑥：_______theteacheraskedme,“Areyoualright”,myfaceturnedpale_______mybodytrembled.Swallowedbynervousness,

Iclosedmyeyes,withmyheartbeatingwildly.Whentheteacheraskedme,“Areyoualright”,myfaceturnedpaleandmybodytrembled.sothat

FeelingWithandWhen

and

SwallowedbywithTheteacheraskedme,“Areyoualright”,_______mademyfaceturnpaleandmybodytremble.whichAseatbesideherwasempty,andDannisoccupiedit.Hesaid,“Youthief!Whereismywallet?”Thegirlputdownherbookandreplied,“Iamnotathief!”Dannislookedaroundher,buthecouldn’tfindhiswallet.Heshouted,“Givebackmywallet!”Thegirlsuddenlystoodupandran.(44words)Discussandpolish(潤(rùn)色)theparagraphnervousangryshout/yellhervoicetrembleclenchherfistshereyeswerewideopenglareathimbeconsumedwithangerstampherfootpointat…castanervousglanceat…h(huán)isheartbeatwildlyhishands/body/legsslightlyshake/tremblebeswallowedbynervousnessdarenotlookmomintheeyehisfaceturnpaletakeadeepbreathclosehiseyesAseatbesideherwasempty,andDannisoccupiedit.

Glaringather,heshouted“Youthief!Whereismywallet?”CastinganervousglanceatDannis,thegirlputdownherbookandrepliedinalowvoice,“Iamnotathief!”However,herhandswereslightlytremblingandherfaceturnedpale,whichconvinced(證實(shí))hisguessing.Helookedaroundher,hopingtofindhiswalletbutinvain.Consumedwithanger,heclenchedhisfistsandyelled,“G