Sex and the City《欲望都市（1998）》第二季第七集完整中英文對照劇本

欲望城市（性♥爰♥專家凱莉布雷蕭）聞雞起舞紐約有超過七百萬人口ThereareoversevenmillionpeopleinNewYork.不包括來訪的客人Andthat'snotincludinghouseguests.游客是城里經(jīng)濟主要來源Visitorsareavitalpartofthecity'seconomy.大多數(shù)在曼哈頓的單身貴族都不買♥♥家具MostsinglepeopleinManhattandonotbuyfurnitureorhangpictures直到家里有客人來訪untilfacedwiththearrivalofanout-of-towner.沙發(fā)好棒哪里買♥♥的？Hey,thafsagreatcouch.Where'ditcomefrom?我不知道Ihavenoidea.米蘭達新家的所有家具都是由夏洛特的EverythinginMiranda'snewapartmentwashand-picked,covered,finishedandarranged新銳室內(nèi)設(shè)計師朋友瑪?shù)铝仗贫饕皇职k購買♥♥byCharlotte'sfriend,MadelineDunn,anup-and-cominginteriordesigner.我一直在找這樣的東西I'vebeenlookingforoneofthose.這是非常時髦的沙發(fā)床That'sverystylishforapull-out.茶幾明天就會送來Filhavethatendtableforyoutomorrow.-謝謝-不客氣-Thankyou.You'rewelcome.這是沙發(fā)床？Thisisasofabed?事情是這樣的Yeah.That'swhatstartedthiswholething.我需要幫杰瑞米買♥♥沙發(fā)床IneededasofabedforJeremy,要是他在這里的這段期間都睡在這andnowifheactuallysleepsonitwhilestayinginmyfabulousapartment,我就從窗戶跳下去Imayhavetothrowmyselfoutawindowtreatment.杰瑞米是米蘭達的老朋友JeremywasanoldfriendofMiranda'sItallseemedsofamiliar.她感到似曾相識Shewashavinga"dejafuck."怎么了？What'swrong?我以前跟你上過床I'vesleptwithyoubefore.對大概十五年前Yeah,yeah,like15yearsago.你為什么不說？Well,whythehelldidn*tyousaysomething?我以為你在玩性感陌生人游戲Ijustthoughtyouwereplayingthesexystrangergame.真像個大團圓So,itwaskindofareunion.我不理解你忘了你睡過的人？Idon'tunderstand.Howcouldyouforgetsomeoneyousleptwith?我們再也沒有關(guān)系了Toto,Idon*tthinkwe'reinsingledigitsanymore.你不是跟他共乘計程車Okay,butit'snotlikeyousharedacabwiththisguy.你是跟他上♥床♥Imean,yousleptwithhim.地點或許是在計程車上Maybewediditinacab.我也想忘了某些人Edliketoforgetsomeofthemenfvesleptwith.我會寫名單Ikeepalist.真甜：今日“共事”的男人Howsweet,"MenToDoToday."我已經(jīng)找不到上♥床♥的陌生男人So,I'mofficiallyoutofmentofuck.我得結(jié)婚不然就搬家Ihavetogetmarriedormove.這個不錯我可以寫進我的詩里嗎？That'slovely.CanIusethatinmypoem?拿去用吧It'syours.你得看看我的伴娘禮服Waittillyouguysseemybridesmaid'sdress.很難看嗎？Isithideous?不我們自己挑No,wegottopickourown.不可思議露背黑緞It'sthisamazingbacklessblacksatin.對伴娘來說很性感Mmm,prettysexyforabridesmaid.瑪?shù)铝罩付ㄒ谏玏ell,allMadelinesaidwasthatithadtobeblack.親愛的冷靜一下Honey,calmdown.我曾穿著合宜美麗地出席七場婚宴I'vebeentastefulandappropriateatsevenotherweddings.這分明是“夏洛特不要看我看新娘〃I'malways,"Charlotte,don*tlookatme,lookatthebride.'1這一次我將成為眾人焦點Thistime,peoplearegonnalookatme!出于某些原因這場旋風(fēng)式婚禮Forsomereason,Thiswhirlwindwedding帶了給所有人壓力wascreatingagreatdealofstressforeveryone除了新郎新娘以外butthebrideandgroom.次晚我犯了個錯誤把寫詩這件事告訴大人物Thenextnight,ImadethemistakeoftellingBigaboutthepoem.愛手套鴿子"Love,glove,dove.'1鴿子不錯"Dove"isgood.愛就像鴿子Loveislikeadove或是毛茸茸的大手套orabigfuzzyglove.算了我可以從賀卡上面竊取點子Don'tusethat,Imight'vestolenitfromagreetingcard.謝了Okay,thanks.怎么了？這很有趣What?Thisisfun.不應(yīng)該是有趣那可是一場婚禮It'snotsupposedtobefun,thisissomebody'swedding.婚禮對某些人來說是很嚴肅的Aweddingisserioustosomepeople.那就不能用“鏟子”了Then”shove"probablywonrtwork.婚禮何時舉♥行♥?Whenisthiswedding?何必問？你又不會去Itdoesn'tmatter,you'renotgoing.我會去Oh,yes,Iam.我不會錯過聽你在紐約所有人面前朗誦“愛手套鴿子〃Iwouldn'tmissyoureciting"love,glove,dove"infrontofallofNewYorkforanything.（四個星期后）和大人物之間進展順利ThingswithBigweregood.他要跟我去參加婚禮Hewasactuallygoingwithmetoawedding.我可不可以只說「天”CanIjustsay...Wow.再幾分鐘就好Ineedafewminutes.卡片等著你簽名Oh,Ileftthecardhereforyoutosign.我不需要簽名他們是你的朋友Idon'tneedtosignit,they'reyourfriends.沒錯但你的名字也在邀請函上They'renotmyfriendsandyourname'sontheinvitationtoo.-真的嗎？-真的-Really?-Yes.這是第一次我男伴的名字也被印上去ItwasmyfirsttimetogetsomethingotherthanCarrieBradshawandguest.他們怎么知道我的名字？How'dtheygetmyname?我不知道Umm,Idon*tknow,瑪?shù)铝湛赡軉柫讼穆逄豂guessMadelinemustveaskedCharlotteorsomething.無所謂你不想簽名也沒關(guān)系Whatever.Ifyoudon'twanttosignthecardit*snotabigdeal.要不要簽個名？Wouldyouliketosigntheguestbook?要不要簽個名？Hi,wouldyouliketosigntheguestbook?至少我們知道誰一個人來Atleastwegettoseewho'sarrivingalone.莎曼珊這一點值得鼓勵Samanthacouldalwaysbecountedontotakelife'slemons凡事都能往好的一面想andmakethemintoSpanishfly.禮物放哪里？Doyouknowwheretheywantthegifts?抱歉我不是負責(zé)的人Excuseme,I'mnotthegiftperson.老天我的炮♥友♥在這里Oh,Christ!Myrerun'shere.當(dāng)然你是在訂婚宴上遇到他的Ofcoursehe'shere,youmethimattheengagementparty.我得開始把事情記下來Ihavetostartwritingthingsdown.還得多喝點酒Ialsohavetostartdrinkingheavily.大人物在哪里？Where'sBig?里面看起來很無聊Inside,lookingbored.我看起來也是那樣Hey,that'smylook.他不簽卡片我應(yīng)該心煩嗎？ShouldIbebotheredbythefactthathewouldnrtsignthecard?還好我沒叫他簽簽到簿W(wǎng)ell,I'mcertainlygladIdidn'taskhimtosigntheguestbook.那應(yīng)該會把他逼瘋-0h;yeah,thatwouldfveputhimovertheedge.-Ooh!夏洛特的禮服不是吹噓Charlottewasn'tkiddingaboutthedress.大家很難不注意到她Itwashardnottonoticeher.看看你我的天Lookatyou!Oh,myGod!你看起來棒極了-Youlookamazing.Youare...-Spin...我遲到了-Holymoly.-Oh,mygosh,Iamsolate.你是新娘或新郎親友？Hi,areyouwiththebrideorthegroom?我是伴娘Actually,I'mabridesmaid.你是夏洛特嗎Oh,areyouCharlotte?我是馬丁希力我要跟你一起走紅毯Hi,I'mMartinHealy.Tilbewalkingyoudowntheaisle.終其一生夏洛特就是在等這一刻Allherlife,Charlottehadimagineddoingexactlythat和馬丁這樣的人走紅毯withsomeoneexactlylikeMartin.我?guī)闳蕚涮嶦llshowyouwhereyou'resupposedtobe.你有看到嗎？Hello；areyouseeingthis?我在這里半小時了他根本沒瞧我一眼I'vebeenherehalfanhour,thatguyneverevenlookedatme.當(dāng)米蘭達覺得自己像隱形人WhileMirandawasfeelinginvisible,我覺得自己太受矚目了Iwasfeelingfartoovisible.我在節(jié)目表上？我跟新郎新娘并不熟I'mintheprogram?Ibarelyknowthebrideandgroom.他們也不太認識對方Theybarelyknoweachother.我在誓言跟餐會之間Hey,look,Tmrightbetweenthevowsandthefishcourse.我有在里面嗎？當(dāng)然沒有AmIinthere?No,ofcoursenot.我最好去找大人物Well,IbetterfindBig.我跟你去I'mcomingwithyou.你不管簽到簿了？Canyouleavetheguestbookunattended?客人知道這是做什么用的Peopleknowwhattodowiththeguestbook.典禮簡短溫馨就像是訂婚儀式Theceremonywasshortandsweet,justliketheengagement.現(xiàn)在歡迎我們的新婚夫婦…Andnow,pleasewelcomeournewlyweds...杰瑞米菲爾德先生Mr.JeremyFields和瑪?shù)铝仗贫鞣茽柕绿玜ndMrs.MadelineDunn-Fields.她花了六個月幫我找茶幾Ittookhersixmonthstofindmeanendtable,卻在四個禮拜辦好一場婚禮butshecanplanaweddingatthePlazainfourweeks.我賭五塊你的茶幾比她的婚姻持久Fivebuckssaysthatyourendtablewilllastlongerthanhermarriage.大家說了不少杰瑞米的好話PeoplehavesaidalotofnicethingsaboutJeremy我在此要反駁andIamheretomakearebuttal.我認識杰瑞米很久了Seriously,IhaveknownJeremyalongtime.比新娘要久得多Whichismorethanthebridecouldsay.我希望有一天能和你們兩位一樣IonlyhopethatsomedayIcanhavewhatyoutwohave,有八千份印有我名字的餐巾8,000littlenapkinswithmynameonthem.當(dāng)然還有一個心愛的人And,youknow,ofcourse,someonetolove.舉杯Aw...-Cheers.現(xiàn)在我們有一個特別節(jié)目Andnowwehaveaveryspecialtreat.我最喜爰的作家之一凱莉布雷蕭Oneofmyfavoritewriters,CarrieBradshaw,替這個特別的場合寫了一首詩hasagreedtoshareapoemthatshewrotefortheoccasion.可惡Shit.當(dāng)我走向麥克風(fēng)時AsImademywaytothemicrophone,我只有一個念頭Icouldonlythinkonething...走向死亡英Deadwomanwalking.他的招呼是她結(jié)局的終點"Hishellowastheendofherendings.她的笑聲是他們走向紅毯的第一步Herlaughwastheirfirststepdowntheaisle.他的手要讓她牽一輩子Hishandwouldbeherstoholdforever.他承諾的永遠就像她的微笑那么簡單Hisforeverwasassimpleashersmile."我突然間想到Andsuddenlyithitme.有兩個人緣定終生Twopeoplewerecommittingtoalifetogether我卻沒辦法要一個男人跟我簽同一張卡片andIcouldn'tevengetaguytobeonacardwithme.他說她就是那失落的一角"Hesaidshewaswhatwasmissing.她立刻說她懂Shesaidinstantlysheknew.她就是那個等待被回答的問題Shewasaquestiontobeanswered...他的答案是“我愿意”And...Hisanswerwas'Ido.’"我別無選擇只能擁抱這個時刻Ihadnochoicebuttoembracethemoment并傳遞我喜悅的眼淚給這對新人andtrytopassoffmytearsastearsofjoyforthehappycouple.夏洛特可以幫我拿沙拉醬嗎？Charlotte,canIhavethesaladdressing?我也想要三或四個孩子Iwantthreeorfourkidstoo.好啊再養(yǎng)只小貓小狗如何？Okay,okay,well,wheredoyoustandondogvs.cat?這應(yīng)該是我們的曲子Youknow,Ithinkthatthisshouldbeoursong.那么我們應(yīng)該跳支舞Thenweshoulddancetoit.他們也要有樣學(xué)樣嗎？What,aretheyontheEvelynWoodplantoo?抱歉Sorry.我得接電♥話♥Ihadtotakeacall.我有錯過什么嗎？DidImissanything?你錯過了我念詩和大部分的節(jié)目Well,youmissedmypoemandmostofthereception.但是一支慢舞Butthere'snothinglikeaslowdance可以讓人原諒并忘記tomakeyouforgiveandforget.我不喜歡在別人吃飯時跳舞Uh,maybelater,Ihatetodancewhilepeopleareeating.好吧Alrighty.我到吧臺喝杯酒Well,I'llbeatthebarwherepeoplearedrinking.跟我的男伴打聲招呼Sayhellotomydate.我覺得我應(yīng)該認識你IthinkIknowyoufromsomewhere.我們可能上過床It'sverypossiblewefucked.好像是在大學(xué)時認識你No,IthinkIknowyoufromcollege.我們或許在大學(xué)時代上過床Thenweprobablyfuckedincollege.再一杯四海為家AnotherCosmopolitanplease.一杯威士忌不加冰Andascotch,straightup.是那位有名的詩人凱莉布雷蕭Oh,it'sthefamouspoet,CarrieBradshaw.我們能不能不要談到詩？Canwenottalkaboutthepoem,please?親愛的詩很完美Honey,comeon,itwasperfect.除了那些眼淚到底怎么了？Exceptthecrying,whatwasthatabout?大人物在我念詩時接電♥話♥Bigtookacallduringmypoem.那對他而言不重要It'snotimportanttohim.沒有一件事對他重要Nothingisimportanttohim.負責(zé)簽到簿還要順便負責(zé)搬禮物Theguestbookpersonisalsothe"putthegiftsinthevan"person.你們要幫忙嗎？Doesanybodywanttohelpme,還是要我等到?jīng)]有人看到時溜掉orshouldIjustgostandoutinthestreetandwaitforsomebodyelsenottoseemesoIcanendit?我?guī)湍鉏'llhelpyou.你要往哪邊走？Whatstreetdoyouwanttostandin?如果他們在一個月內(nèi)結(jié)婚我一定不去參加Iftheygetmarriedinlessthanamonth,I'mnotgoing.小心一點這是我送的Ooh,careful,thatone'sfromme.你送他們什么？Well,whatareyougivingthem?跳舞的青蛙Thedancingfrogs.即使就快要打破感情發(fā)展速度的紀錄Evenwhileonthevergeofbreakingthelandspeedrecordforrelationships,夏洛特還是盡責(zé)地完成伴娘的工作Charlottetookherdutiesasbridesmaidveryseriously.好漂亮Isn'titbeautiful?我們該怎么做？Sohowdowedothisexactly?我們把細繩隨意拋Oh,wejustthrowsomesillystringaround再寫一些好玩的東西在鏡子上andwritesomethingfunnyonthemirrorinlipstick.有人會在床上丟保險套Andthensomepeoplethrowcondomsonthebed,我比較喜歡玫瑰花瓣butIpersonallypreferrosepetals.我喜歡在玫瑰花瓣中醒來Iwouldlovetowakeupinrosepetals.一切都是那么地浪漫Itwasallsoromantic.那張床玫瑰花瓣Thebed,therosepetals,還有那張床…thebed...嚴格來說這不是第三次約會Technically,itwasn'tathirddate,他們吃過飯…跳過舞butthey'dalreadyhaddinner...andbeendancing.20分鐘后夏洛特開始擔(dān)心和這位理想中的Twentyminuteslater,Charlotteworriedshe'dmadearookiemistake結(jié)婚對象上♥床♥是個錯誤bysleepingwithamanshethoughtshecouldmarry.會有不好的事發(fā)生Butthensomethingwonderfulhappened.夏洛特我想把你介紹給我父母Charlotte,Iwanttointroduceyoutomyparents.見父母Meetingtheparents.夏洛特的計劃又回到正軌Charlottewasbackonschedule.你有看到我們跳舞嗎？Didyouseeus?就像起風(fēng)暴一樣We'vebeendancingupastorm.想要免費教學(xué)嗎？Wouldyoulikeafreelesson?我爸爸很會跳舞Oh,mydadconsidershimselfquitethedancer.我很樂意Oh,thatwouldbegreat.就是她了嗎？Well,isshetheone??你是個美麗的舞者?謝謝-You'reabeautifuldancer.-Oh,thankyou.我可以接手嗎？MayIcutin?如果你堅持Ifyoumust.長年住在倫敦寫作who'dbeeninLondonforseveralyearswritingforTheEconomist.他到紐約勘查就業(yè)環(huán)境HewascomingtoNewYorktoscopeoutthejobsituation.米蘭達建議他到她家作客AndMirandasuggestedhebeherhouseguest,因為他的電子郵件becausehise-mails,alwaysentertaining,出現(xiàn)一些調(diào)情的字眼hadstartedtoborderonflirtatious.與此同時我成了大人物家中的?？蚆eanwhile,IhadbecomeafrequenthouseguestofBig's.你有多余的牙刷借我嗎？Damn.Hey...doyouhaveasparetoothbrushIcoulduse?多余的牙刷？Asparetoothbrush?我再買♥♥一支新的給你Well,I'llbringyouanewone.借過Excuseme.他把唯一的粉紅牙刷頭給我There*sonlyonepinkbrushheadandBigwasgivinghistome.這是我們關(guān)系中最令人雀躍的一刻Itwasthesinglemostencouragingmomentsofarinourrelationship.后一天的晚上杰瑞米到來ThenextnightwhenJeremyarrived,他遠比米蘭達記憶中來得迷人hewasevenmoreadorablethanMirandaremembered.我喜歡你的公♥寓♥Iloveyourflat.謝謝Thanks.你好嗎？Sohowthehellareya?尤其當(dāng)他說出…Especiallywhenhesaid...我厭倦了不斷約會我準備好要結(jié)婚了I'mtiredofdating,Tmreadytogetmarried.米蘭達你在嗎？Miranda,areyouhere?來了他很棒是不是？Isn'thesomething?很聰明Andhe'sverysmart.他是我學(xué)習(xí)的榜樣He'sprettymuchmyrolemodel.他以前會帶我到辦公室…HeusedtotakemetohisofficewhenIwasalittlekid.你父親剛才吃我豆腐Yourfatherjustfeltmeup.我們在跳舞時他的手…Weweredancingandhejustputhishand...我父母結(jié)婚五十年了Allright,look,myparentshavebeenmarriedfor50years.我爸爸不會因為一個女人Mydadwouldnotcopafeel穿著暴露就吃她豆腐justbecausesomegirliswearingasluttydress.夏洛特當(dāng)下突然明白Suddenly,itwascleartoCharlotte無論過多久馬丁都永不會站在她那一邊thatMartinwasn'tgonnatakehersidenoworafterthreeorfourkids,orever.過去的四個半小時對你來說沒意義嗎？Didthelastfourandahalfhoursmeannothingtoyou?雞舞女士們先生們Thechickendance,ladiesandgentlemen.可惡我們錯過了雞舞Oh,darn,wemissedthechickendance.抱歉Excuseme.你有看到我的女伴嗎？Haveyouseenmydate?抱歉我得幫米蘭達把禮物搬上車I'msorry,IhadtohelpMirandaputthegiftsintothevan.你要走了嗎？So,areyoureadytogo?他們切蛋糕了嗎？Well,havetheyevencutthecakeyet?我不知道Idon'tknow.但我知道那是怎么回事ButIcantellyouhowitturnsout如果你想走就走吧Ifyouwanttogo,go.怎么了？What'swrong?你連卡片都不肯簽Youwouldn'tevensignthecard.卡片？Thecard.我怕我們想要的不一樣I'mafraidwedon'twantthesamethings.譬如說蛋糕？Thingslikecake?我要的是有人能一直陪我…Iwantsomeonewho*sgoingtobewithmeuntiltheend...到婚禮結(jié)束ofawedding.好我留下來Okay.Tilstay.真的？Youwill?真的Yes.單身女郎們Singleladies!要開始拋花束了Itfstimeforthetossingofthebouquet.花束不是最后拋嗎？Isn'tthebouquettossattheend?恭喜你你走運了Congratulations,youluckedout.去拿些蛋糕吧我去跟我朋友說再見Getussomecake,Iwanttosaygoodbyetomyfriends.很重大的一刻Bigmoment.大人物跟我要先離開BigandIareleaving.他已經(jīng)忍♥受不了了He'scrossedhispainthresholdandhe'scarryingmealongwithhim.準備好了嗎？Everybodyready?One,two,three.姐♥妹♥們♥明天見Okay,girls,seeyoutomorrow.晚安-Night-night.-Okay.我們?nèi)ツ媚愕耐馓?Well,let's...letsgetyourcoats.Mm-hmm.有些人知道他們注定和某人共度一生Somepeopleknowthey'remeanttobetogether.我知道我注定要和大人物回家在床上吃蛋糕IknewIwasmeanttogohomeandhavecakeinbedwithBig.這就是我們的愛情方式吧Maybewe'remorethefuzzyglovetypes.Um...Coming!一定是我的茶幾來了Thatmustbemyendtable.我的茶幾還不敢獨自出門呢See,myendtableisafraidtogooutalone.我希望你喜歡它的末道漆Ihopeyoulikethefinish.比我想像中要黑It'sahairdarkerthanIwasthinking.抱歉打擾了Oh,hi,sorrytointerrupt.好美這是比德邁式的嗎？Thatsbeautiful；isitBiedermeier?靈感來自比德邁好眼光InspiredbyBiedermeier,goodeye.我很喜歡閱讀“建筑文摘”我叫杰瑞米菲爾德I'maddictedtoArchitecturalDigest.JeremyFields.?抱歉這位是…?瑪?shù)铝?Oh,Tmsorry.Thisis...-Madeline.瑪?shù)铝仗贫鱉adelineDunn.很榮幸Pleasure.謝謝你幫我?guī)н^來Well,thanksforbringingthatby.我們正要出去吃晚餐Wewerejustabouttogooutandgetsomedinnerso...你要一起來嗎？Yes,didyouwanttojoinus?上周我在一家餐廳做專訪LastweekIwasdoinganinterviewatarestaurantinKensington...米蘭達的遭遇足以讓所有女人稱羨Mirandasuddenlyfoundherselfinthesituation她有一個很棒的第一次約會shewasonatrulygreatfirstdate.“小心不要吃到鹿彈”"Justbecarefulnottoeatanybuckshot!'1不幸地她似乎是第三者Unfortunately,itwassomebodyelse's.我應(yīng)該要帶杰瑞米回家了你一定有時差I(lǐng)shouldgetJeremyhome.Youmustbejet-lagged.不會我覺得精神很好Actually,Ifeelgreat.我在飛機上睡了Isleptontheplaneforonce.這樣我很累了Well,I'mprettybeat.你想回家嗎？Didyouwanttogo?不了如果你???No,notifyou're...去吧我可以找到回家的路Goahead,Icanfindmywayback.對我們不必…Right,ofcourse.Wedon*thaveto...不過我忘了再打一副鑰匙ExceptIforgottomakeacopyofthekey.杰瑞米可以用我的鑰匙Um,Jeremycouldusemykey.當(dāng)然Ofcourse.我給了你一副鑰匙Igaveyouakey.那么晚安Well,then...Goodnight.I...晚安Yeah.我在那家餐廳…So,Iwasatthatsamerestaurant...一周后米蘭達為杰瑞米舉♥行♥—?場歡送派對Aweeklater,MirandathrewJeremyagoingawayparty.我想舉杯敬我的好友米蘭達fdliketomakeatoasttomygoodfriend,Miranda,她不但讓我借住還幫我辦了這個晚會whonotonlyputmeup,shethrewthissoiree慶祝我的離開incelebrationofmydeparture.米蘭達我知道你的暗示了Okay,Miranda,Igetthehint.我尤其要感謝她Uh...Tdespeciallyliketothankher介紹瑪?shù)铝战o我forintroducingmetoMadeline,一位不可思議的女人anincredible,beautifulwoman她一定是醉了whomustbedrunkoffherass,才會答應(yīng)嫁給我becauseshejustagreedtomarryme.唯一離去的是米蘭達的美夢ApparentlytheonlythinggoingawaywasMiranda'sdream.恭喜Congratulations.冰Ice.我們需要多一點冰Weshouldgetmoreice.有人說為自己買♥♥個家就會有人來求婚Everyonesaysassoonasyougetaplaceofyourown,someonewillpropose.我以為他喜歡的是我Ithoughtitwouldbetome.這個女人欠你抵押款Well,attheveryleast,thewomanowesyouamortgagepayment.這怎么可能？他們才剛認識Howisthisevenpossible?Thesepeoplejustmet.這叫做“一見鐘情”It'sloveatfirstsight.親愛的那才不是愛Oh,honey,thisisn'tlove.只是一個禮拜的性♥愛♥馬拉松Thisisabouttwopeoplejustifyingaweekofnonstopfucking.而且是在我的家具上我一定要重新裝潢Onmyfurniture,Ihavetoredecorate.這真是令人雀躍Well,Ithinkthisisencouraging.這表示就算不約會Thismeansthatevenifyou'renotdatinganybody,也可以在幾個禮拜內(nèi)訂婚youcouldbeengagedinacoupleweeks.或是約會一年Oryoucouldbedatingsomeoneforayear得到一只電動牙刷刷頭andbethrilledtogetanelectrictoothbrushhead.女人為什么對結(jié)婚這件事這么迷戀？Idon'tunderstandwhywomenaresoobsessedaboutgettingmarried.已婚的人都想恢復(fù)單身Imean,marriedpeoplejustwanttobesingleagain.如果你是單身全世界都是你的Ifyou'resingle,theworldisyoursmorgasbord.抱歉這是杰瑞米菲爾德的訂婚派對嗎？Excuseme,canyoutellmeifthisiswhereJeremyFields1engagementpartyis?紅色雨篷那里那是個歡送會It'stheredawning,andit*sagoingawayparty.我可以帶你過去Icantakeyouthereifyou'dlike.你要去嗎？Wereyougoingtotheparty?我提早離開Well,Iwasactuallyleavingtheparty因為那里沒有俊男becausetherewerenohandsomementhere.現(xiàn)在不一樣了Butmaybethetideisturning.我的公♥寓♥只為別人帶來了幸運Myapartmentisgonnabeluckyforeverybodybutme.哪一間公♥寓♥不曾帶給莎曼珊幸運？Whatapartmentisn'tluckyforSamantha?■這都是你的錯-什么？-Thisisallyourfault.-What?是你介紹瑪?shù)铝战o我YouintroducedmetoMadeline.我可以雇用同性戀設(shè)計師Icouldhavehiredanicegaydecorator這一切就不會發(fā)生了andnoneofthiswouldVehappened.他們不會相遇ButthenMadelineandJeremymightneverhavemet.杰瑞米就會愛上我Yes,andJeremywould'vefalleninlovewithme.這又不是搶椅子游戲It'snotlikemusicalchairs.為什么新娘不是我？我做錯什么？我隱形了嗎？Whynotme?WhatamIdoingwrong?AmIinvisible?能效勞嗎？CanIhelpyou?我住在這里Ilivehere!那一晚我需要找人談一談Thatnight,Ineededalittlerealitycheck.我參加的這場派對Hey,Iwasjustatthisparty,有兩個人認識一周就訂婚了andtwopeoplewhometaweekagoannouncedtheirengagement.所以說？And?我不知道這不是很駭人聽聞嗎？Well,Idon'tknow,isn'tthatabitshocking?在紐約沒有什么駭人聽聞的事Well,thisisNewYork,nothingisshocking.當(dāng)眾便溺都可以接受了We'veembracedpublicurination.但是他們認為對方是靈魂伴侶Butthesepeoplethinkthey'resoulmates.“靈魂伴侶〃他們真的這么說？Didtheyactuallyusetheterm"soulmates?"好幾次Yeah,severaltimes.絕對撐不過三個月ThenIgivethemthreemonths.你現(xiàn)在穿什么？Whatareyouwearing?你相信一見鐘情嗎？Doyoubelieveinloveatfirstsight?我相信一見起色心Ibelieveinlustatfirstsight.■我是認真的■我也是-I'mserious.-SoamI.我需要一點視覺盛宴Crmon,Ineedavisual.我不知道無肩帶上衣Idon'tknow,atop,strapless.丁尼布料■It'sdenim.-Ooh.我打給你時是不是睡了？Hey,wereyouasleepwhenIcalled?對Yes.■抱歉■沒關(guān)系-Sorry.-Itsokay.下一次來應(yīng)門時…不要穿衣服Butnexttimebeatthedoor...naked.我不禁開始想Istartedtowonder.在紐約這樣一個憤世嫉俗的城市InacityascynicalasNewYork,還有可能相信一見鐘情嗎？isitstillpossibletobelievein