Module1Unit2WritingIntroductionoftheGreatMind講義-牛津深圳版英語九年級(jí)上冊(cè)

U2WritingIntroductionoftheGreatMind下劃線處需修改，使用得好的短語和句子請(qǐng)用紅色下劃線畫出。Example1CharlieChaplinbornin1889,Apr.inLondun,England.Hediein1977,Dec.Hewasthemostgreatactor.Atanearlyago,hewaspoor,buthewastalented.Attheageof14yearsold.HetookinmanytheaterseverywhereinEngland.In1913,hewenttoAmericaandstartedworkasfilmshow.Hewasin80films.Hesympathizewiththepoorpeopleandhemakejokeontherichpeople.Hewasagreatman.點(diǎn)評(píng)：2.5+1.5+0.5=4.55分解析：文中要點(diǎn)有部分遺漏。文章多數(shù)要點(diǎn)表達(dá)英文較中式英語。另外存在較多標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)，時(shí)態(tài)錯(cuò)誤，單詞拼寫及固定搭配使用錯(cuò)誤，三單未進(jìn)行適當(dāng)變化。句子較簡(jiǎn)單，可使用感嘆句改寫最后一個(gè)句子。提升方法：Hewasagreatman.可升級(jí)為_________________!/_________________!（感嘆句）改正后：CharlieChaplinwasborninApril1889inEngland,London.HediedinDecember1977.Hewasoneofthegreatestactors.Fromanearlyage,hewaspoor,buthewastalented.Attheageof14,hetookinmanyshowsintheaterseverywhereinEngland.In1913,hewenttoAmericaandstartedtoactinfilms.Hewasin80films.Hesympathizedwiththepoorandheplayedjokesontherich.Hewasagreatman.Example2 CharlieChaplinaBritishactorwasborninApril1889inEngland,London.HediedinDecember,1977.Hewasconsideredoneofthegreatestactorintheworld. Whenhewasyoungage,hisfamilywaspoor.Buthehadagreattalented.Attheageof14,hetookpartinmanyshowsintheatersinEngland.HewenttoAmericatoworkasafilmactor.Inhislife,hemade80films.Hisworkssympathizedtheoldandlaughedattherich. Heisagreatandhardworkingmanandwealllovehimsomuch.Howagreatman!Peopleinmemoryofhim.點(diǎn)評(píng)：4+3+0.5=7.58分解析：文中要點(diǎn)基本齊全，存在語法錯(cuò)誤包括最高級(jí)用法，感嘆句使用，固定搭配正確使用。值得點(diǎn)贊的是，同一個(gè)句子可以保持時(shí)態(tài)一致，且嘗試使用感嘆句表達(dá)自己對(duì)人物的贊嘆之情。除此較多是主謂結(jié)構(gòu)或是時(shí)間狀語從句，可考慮兩句合為一句提升。提升方法：1.Hisfamilywaspoor.Buthehadagreattalented.可升級(jí)為Although_________________,_____________.(用although從句引導(dǎo))2.Heisagreatandhardworkingmanandwealllovehimsomuch.可升級(jí)為Heisgreat_______hardworkingandhe_______bypeople.（用短語代替單詞,主動(dòng)變被動(dòng)）改正后：CharlieChaplin,aBritishactor,borninApril,1889.HediedinDecember,1977.Hewasconsideredoneofthegreatestactorsintheworld.Whenhewasyoung,hisfamilywaspoor.Buthehadagreattalent.Attheageof14,hetookpartinmanyshowsintheatersinEngland.HewenttoAmericatoworkasafilmactor.Inhislife,heactedin80films.Hisworkssympathizedtheoldandlaughedattherich.Heisagreatandhardworkingmanandwealllovehimsomuch.Whatagreatman!Helivesinmemoryofhim.Example3 CharlieChaplinwhowasborninLondon,England,inApril1889andpassedawayinDecember,1977.Hewasconsideredtobeoneofthegreatestactorsintheworld. Whenhewasayoungchild,hisfamilywaspoorbuthetalented.Attheageof14,hestartedtoperformintheaterseverywhereinEngland.Hebegantoworkasafilmactorin1913whenhearrivedatAmerica.Inhislife,heactedout80films.Hisworksalwayssympathizedtheoldandlaughedattherich. CharlieChaplinisagreatman,isn’the?Heishardworkingandkindness.Wewillloveandrememberhimforever.點(diǎn)評(píng)：5+4.5+0.5=1010.5分解析：文中要點(diǎn)齊全，存在較少語法錯(cuò)誤包括詞性錯(cuò)誤使用，定語從句中缺少謂語動(dòng)詞，介詞錯(cuò)誤使用。值得點(diǎn)贊的是，句子嘗試使用定語從句描述人物背景介紹，使用本單元所學(xué)反意疑問句。文章可使用被動(dòng)語態(tài)替代代詞及使用so…that從句進(jìn)行句子串聯(lián)。提升方法：1.Wewillloveandrememberhimforever.可升級(jí)為Hewill_________________(用he作主語，使用被動(dòng)語態(tài))2.hisfamilywaspoorbuthetalented.Attheageof14,hestartedtoperformintheaterseverywhereinEngland.可升級(jí)為Hewas_______talented____hestartedtoperformintheaterseverywhereinEngland.（用從句連接兩個(gè)句子）改正后：CharlieChaplinwhowasborninLondon,England,inApril1889,passedawayinDecember,1977.Hewasconsideredtobeoneofthegreatestactorsintheworld.Whenhewasayoungchild,hisfamilywaspoorbuthetalented.Attheageof14,hestartedtoperformintheaterseverywhereinEngland.Hebegantoworkasafilmactorin1913whenhearrivedinAmerica.Inhislife,heactedout80films.Hisworksalwayssympathizedtheoldandlaughedattherich.CharlieChaplinisagreatman,isn’the?Heishardworkingandkindness.Wewillloveandrememberhimforever.Example4CharlieChaplin,aBritishactor,borninApril1889andpassedawayinDecember1977.Hewasconsideredasoneofthegreatestactorsintheworld.Inhischildhood,hisfamilywaspoor,however,hewasverytalentedinacting.Whenhewasa14yearoldboy,hestartedtogivegreatperformancesindifferenttheatersinBritain.In1913,hebeganhiscareertoactinfilmsinAmerica.Duringhislifetime,heactedinover80filmsintotal,whichsympathizedwiththepoorandplayedjokesontherich,werelovedbyalotofpeople.Hedevotedhimselftohiscareerandshowedagreatloveforit.Thoughhehasalreadybeenaway,helivesinmemoryofpeopleforhisworks.Howgreatheis!點(diǎn)評(píng)：5.5+5+1.5=1212.5分解析：文章要點(diǎn)齊全，值得點(diǎn)贊的是，句子使用同位語描述人物背景介紹，使用感嘆句，though引導(dǎo)讓步狀語從句，被動(dòng)語態(tài)，另還有本單元所學(xué)復(fù)合形容詞描述人物歲數(shù)。在文中也有不少值得學(xué)習(xí)的短語，可用來替換簡(jiǎn)單單詞?？偨Y(jié)：人物簡(jiǎn)介框架（需要抄在作文積累本）Part1:Introduction:介紹人物出生時(shí)間地點(diǎn)需要先____后_____人物有稱號(hào)的，可用被動(dòng)語態(tài)及短語，如____________*3.介紹人物出生、職業(yè)放在一個(gè)句子，可以考慮使用______從句，注意who要緊跟在名詞后。Part2:Experience/Achievement人物在xxx歲做了xxx事，可用表達(dá)包括（1）_____________(時(shí)間狀語從句)（2）______________(短語)2.描述人物所做過的事情，注意時(shí)態(tài)需要使用_______Part3:Influence/Comment描述我們?cè)诳吹皆撊宋锕适吕拥母惺躀t__________(樹立了很好的例子)