中學(xué)英語作文現(xiàn)存問題探析：從用詞和句式談起

1、中學(xué)英語作文現(xiàn)存問題探析：從用詞和句式談起摘 要：本文探討中學(xué)生英語寫作中在用詞和句式選擇方面存在的缺陷，字闡釋原因的基礎(chǔ)上提出解決途徑，并通過剖析范文，指明中學(xué)生英文寫作中應(yīng)注意的問題，以期為其提高英文寫作水平提出可操作性的建議和方法。關(guān)鍵詞：中學(xué)生；英語作文；用詞；句式abstract: this essay probes into the defects in the choice of both english words and english sentence patterns in chinese middle school students english language w

2、riting. based on a detailed explanation of the cause of the said defects, the author puts forward relevant resolutions. also, by means of analyzing some model compositions, the author comes up with several points which chinese middle school students are supposed to pay attention to in their english

3、language writing, for the purpose of giving practical suggestions and methods for the improvement of their english language writing.key words: middle school students, english language writing, the use of words, sentence patterns中學(xué)英語寫作在中學(xué)英語教學(xué)中占據(jù)重要位置，是學(xué)生應(yīng)掌握的四項（聽、說、讀、寫）技能之一。中考和高考英語測試題中亦均有對學(xué)生寫作能力的考查。從現(xiàn)行

4、中學(xué)英語教學(xué)中英語寫作的實際效果來看，中學(xué)生的英語寫作能力尚不能令人滿意，其英語作文在內(nèi)容和用語兩個方面均存在諸多問題。如，內(nèi)容空洞，缺乏說服力；結(jié)構(gòu)混亂，邏輯關(guān)系不當；套用母語寫作模式，無病呻吟，亂表“決心”，文風(fēng)做作；中式英文充斥其中等。本文在此無意對中學(xué)生英語寫作內(nèi)容方面的上述問題進行深入討論，而著重探討中學(xué)英語寫作中用詞和句式的缺陷與不足，分析其原因，并提出解決途徑，同時通過對某些學(xué)生習(xí)作或范文的具體剖析，指明中學(xué)生寫作中應(yīng)注意的問題，從而為其提高寫作水平提出可操作性的建議和方法。一、寫作缺陷 不注意使用銜接詞，文章缺乏連貫性和邏輯性銜接詞是段落中起承轉(zhuǎn)銜接作用的詞或短語，用以說明前后

5、句子或語意之間的關(guān)系，借以提高段落的連貫性和邏輯性，并有利于讀者跟上作者的思路。銜接詞根據(jù)其含義可分為不同種類，表示舉例、對比、結(jié)果、讓步、總結(jié)、強調(diào)等。中學(xué)生英語寫作中，較為明顯的缺陷與不足之一是忽視銜接詞的使用。他們往往只注重英文語句之間的含義聯(lián)系，未意識到應(yīng)將英文句子用各種銜接詞前后串聯(lián)起來，借以提高段落的整體連貫性。如，在表達“王明今天要在家照顧母親，他母親病了?！睍r，不少同學(xué)用英文這樣寫道：wang ming had to stay at home to look after his mother. his mother was ill.如果進行如下改寫，文章會銜接自然，具有較強的連

6、貫性：wang ming had to stay at home to look after his mother, for she was ill. 或者：wang mings mother was ill, so he had to stay at home to look after her.當然, 本句若不使用銜接詞，而時使用定語從句，也能解決問題。wang ming had to stay at home to look after his mother, who was ill. 用詞單調(diào)重復(fù)，缺乏新意不少中學(xué)生在英語寫作過程中，欲表達相同或相近意思時，常有意無意地通篇使用完全相同

7、的詞匯或短語，而未考慮或意識到應(yīng)避免用詞重復(fù)。這樣給讀者產(chǎn)生的印象是：文章措辭單調(diào)乏味，缺乏吸引力和新鮮感，可讀性差。如，在表達“許多中學(xué)生每天花費好幾個小時的時間上網(wǎng)。這對他們的學(xué)習(xí)產(chǎn)生了不利影響。很多家長都反對孩子上網(wǎng)?！睍r，不少學(xué)生寫道：many middle school students spend many hours a day visiting the internet. this has produced an unfavorable influence on their studies. many parents are against their childrens vi

8、siting the internet.上面短短三句話中，有三處使用了many, 令讀者感到作者詞匯之貧乏。另外，三個句子之間也缺乏必要的銜接詞或關(guān)系詞，致使句與句子之間的聯(lián)系不夠緊湊、連貫。為此，可進行如下修改：a large number of middle school students spend several hours a day visiting the internet, which has produced an unfavorable influence on their studies. therefore, lots of parents are against th

9、eir childrens visiting the internet. 句式結(jié)果單調(diào)，簡單句偏多英語句子按其結(jié)構(gòu)可分為簡單句、并列句、復(fù)合句和并列復(fù)合句。欲令文章具有吸引力，應(yīng)保持句式多變、結(jié)構(gòu)豐富；否則，句式結(jié)構(gòu)千篇一律，會令讀者感到單調(diào)發(fā)味，也不利于明確和突出文章的中心思想。為保持句式結(jié)構(gòu)的多樣性，可將各種句式混用。如，長短句搭配使用，并交叉運用不同的主從結(jié)構(gòu)、并列結(jié)構(gòu)、倒裝結(jié)構(gòu)等，以求收到句式多變并突出重點的效果。具體說來，可將某些簡單句改為并列句或從句，而穿插保留一小部分長短不等的簡單句；將某些使用較多的“主動賓（svo）”基本句型的開頭部分，變換為短語（如副詞短語、分詞短語、介詞短

10、語）、從句（如由when, because, although, if等連接詞引導(dǎo)的狀語從句），或使用并列連詞（and, but等）或連接副詞（however, actually, consequently等）。上述兩例已經(jīng)充分說明了這一問題。學(xué)生寫出的上訴英文句子多為簡單句，句式結(jié)構(gòu)單一，而且前后句之間缺乏銜接詞。第二例中修改后的英文，使用了定語從句和銜接詞therefore, 使得前后句較為緊湊，銜接自然，句式多變，因而可讀性較強。 段落層次不清中學(xué)階段的英文寫作，內(nèi)容較為簡單，篇幅不要求太長，次數(shù)也不要求過多（一般100詞左右即可），這樣就給不少同學(xué)一種誤解：整篇作文有一個段落即可。在這

11、種錯誤意識的支配下，不少同學(xué)寫英文作文時，只有作文題目沒有特別做出分段要求，即使當然地僅寫一個段落，而從不考慮根據(jù)文章的內(nèi)容安排、段落層次和邏輯結(jié)構(gòu)進行分段寫作。這樣的文章會令讀者感覺缺乏層次感，或邏輯性不強。誠然，根據(jù)所寫文章的具體內(nèi)容，可能會有個別文章僅需一個段落即可，但絕大多數(shù)文章是可以并且應(yīng)該分段的。試看以下例證。a clever boyit was sunday and tom didnt go to school. so his father asked him to paint. he took out three apples and told tom to draw as m

12、any apples as on the table. tom loved playing football and didnt like painting. he thought it would be too hard for him to draw so many apples. so he thought and then he had an idea. he ate up two of the three apples and then there was only one apple left on the table. he finished his painting and w

13、ent out to play, leaving his work on the table. when his father came back and saw the painting, he was surprised to see there was only one apple on the table and his son was no longer there.這是一篇初中作文范文。應(yīng)該說，文章語句較為流暢，前后內(nèi)容銜接自然，不失為一篇不錯的英文短文。然而，短文還留有一點缺憾，即未分段，缺乏段落層次感。二、原因探析 學(xué)生深受母語影響，對中英文的行為特點和寫作習(xí)慣的差異缺乏足夠認

14、識，致其忽視對銜接詞的使用。在文章行文的連貫性方面，中文強調(diào)“意合”，注重段落的內(nèi)容、含義本身的上下連貫性，而并不強調(diào)銜接詞的使用；與此相反，英文強調(diào)“形合”，講究通過銜接詞引領(lǐng)段落乃至整篇文章中語意的前后關(guān)系。中國學(xué)生深受母語影響，對上述中英文段落行文的差異缺乏足夠的認識和重視，致其在進行英文寫作時想當然地遵照母語寫作的模式和習(xí)慣進行而忽視銜接詞的使用，加之有些教師亦對銜接詞在英文篇章中所具有的不可或缺的銜接作用認識不足從而未能不斷提醒學(xué)生予以重視，無意中強化了學(xué)生對英文銜接詞使用的忽視程度。 (二)學(xué)生詞匯量貧乏以及用詞考究意識淡漠，導(dǎo)致其行文中相同詞匯的重復(fù)使用。 在行文中，無論英文或中

15、文，反復(fù)使用同一詞匯或短語，自然會令讀者生厭，喪失閱讀興趣。目前，不少中學(xué)生對此尚缺乏足夠的認識，認為寫出的英文能表達思想即可，在此思想支配下，他們殊少考慮英文寫作中避免用詞單調(diào)重復(fù)的問題。另外，有些同學(xué)已經(jīng)意識到最好能夠廣泛使用近義詞或同義詞，借以增強語言的豐富性和表現(xiàn)力，但囿于其有限的詞匯量以及對有些同義詞或近義詞的區(qū)別與聯(lián)系把握不足，致其深感“心有余而力不足”，無法或不敢奢求對用詞豐富性和多樣性的考究。如，表達“許多”時，有的同學(xué)想 起有不少近義詞(如many，a large number of；lots of ，plenty of；much，a great deal of ，a lar

16、ge amount of)可供選用，但又對有些詞組的區(qū)別有些含糊，便反復(fù)使用正確性較有把握的某一個詞或短語。 (三)學(xué)生語法知識不牢，對英文句式結(jié)構(gòu)缺乏知識把握和多樣化意識，致其使用簡單句偏多 目前出現(xiàn)的一個較為普遍的現(xiàn)象是，為數(shù)不少的中學(xué)生不肯用心學(xué)習(xí)和掌握基本語法知識，甚至一提語法即表現(xiàn)出反感情緒；而不少教師亦輕視對語法的專門、系統(tǒng)講授，當所講課文語句涉及某語法現(xiàn)象時僅僅簡單舉例說明了事，致使學(xué)生缺乏對某些語法現(xiàn)象的整體準確把握，對定語從句、非限定動詞等語法現(xiàn)象僅滿足于簡單識別，而遠遠談不上主動、準確地運用到寫作中去。而“淡化語法教學(xué)”的呼聲以及英文試卷中專門語法類試題的削弱，更強化了師生

17、對語法的忽視程度，致使學(xué)生語法知識不牢，寫作中語病層出不窮，更難奢求其英文句式結(jié)構(gòu)的多樣化意識和實踐。 另外，教師自然了解學(xué)生的語法知識欠缺，遂“巧妙地”提出學(xué)生寫作時的“萬全之策”，即：鑒于寫作中使用復(fù)合句出錯率較高，為“保險”起見，多用簡單句；同時，試卷評閱人對簡單句過多、句式結(jié)構(gòu)缺乏多樣性的英文作文，大多表現(xiàn)出寬容，只要文章語句基本通順，內(nèi)容基本完整，所判分值較之那些句式結(jié)構(gòu)多變的作文相差無幾。教師和評卷人的上述寬容心態(tài)，助長了學(xué)生對語法知識的系統(tǒng)掌握和寫作中對句式結(jié)構(gòu)多樣化的追求，并造成語法知識和寫作技能二者相互影響、日益惡化的惡性循環(huán)。 (四)學(xué)生缺乏文章分段意識或?qū)Χ温溥壿嬓缘目紤]

18、，導(dǎo)致僅寫一個段落或段落層次不清 前面已經(jīng)提及，中學(xué)英文寫作內(nèi)容較為簡單，篇幅較短，詞數(shù)不多，不少同學(xué)誤以為整篇作文有一個段落未嘗不可，而不注意根據(jù)文章層次和結(jié)構(gòu)進行分段寫作。需要指出的是，也有一些同學(xué)注意了分段寫作問題，但隨意分段，導(dǎo)致分段不科學(xué)，缺乏邏輯性。學(xué)生寫作中僅寫一個段落或段落層次不清，究其原因，不難發(fā)現(xiàn)，不少教師對學(xué)生寫作分段問題未予以高度關(guān)注，而僅強調(diào)在達到語句基本通順，內(nèi)容基本完整的前提下，符合字數(shù)要求即可。無疑，他們忽視了中學(xué)生英文寫作中段落層次和邏輯結(jié)構(gòu)的重要性。而作文評閱人對此也經(jīng)常網(wǎng)開一面，對寫作不分段現(xiàn)象減分甚少。 三、解決途徑 （一） 歸納銜接詞或常用句式，嘗試用

19、于寫作中中學(xué)生在平時的英語學(xué)習(xí)過程中，應(yīng)該有意識地收集寫作中使用率較高的某些銜接詞，并予以歸納整理，然后嘗試將其運用到自己的習(xí)作中去。當然，在這一方面，教師也責(zé)無旁貸。另外，中學(xué)生還應(yīng)增加英文閱讀量，注意觀察英文文章中銜接詞的使用，繼而揣摩，進而模仿使用。以下是筆者歸納的一些常見銜接詞、短語或句式。建議學(xué)生熟記于心，并有意識地運用于平時的習(xí)作中。有些地方提供了若干近義詞(組)，系考慮向中學(xué)生提供多種銜接詞的選擇，并強化其用詞多樣化的意識。有些學(xué)生或許認為，有些詞匯“超綱”，但鑒于這些常用詞對寫作的特殊意義，早些知悉亦未嘗不可，何況不少詞本是某些常見詞的派生詞而已，記憶起來并無難度。 值得一提的

20、是，此處有些近義詞(組)可以相互替換使用，但有些卻存在含義或用法上的區(qū)別，應(yīng)注意借助工具書等予以明確區(qū)分以免用錯。限于篇幅，本文對此不作進一步解釋。 1導(dǎo)人。一般說來：generally speaking，as a general rule，in general 從一定意義上說：in a way，to some extent，to a certain degree 在我看來(我認為，據(jù)我所知)：in my opinion as far as i know (am concerned)，at an individual leve1,i feel that to the best of my kn

21、owledge，personally，i suppose! i think (suppose，maintain，believe，feel，reckon，hold the opinionview) that 2比較：similarly，likewise，in the same way；unlike 3列舉或附加：for example，for instance；such as；namely，that is；above all，in the first place，first of all，to begin with，to start with，first and foremost in the

22、second place also，besides，furthermore，moreover，in addition，what is more；finally，eventually for one thing，for another；on the one hand，on the other hand4原因：owing to，on account of , as a result of because of, thanks to；in view of , seeing that，considering, the reasons why, are as follows:there are seve

23、ral reasons why5結(jié)果as a result，consequently，therefore，thus；such being the case，under such circumstances6強調(diào)：indeed；as a matter of fact，in reality，in fact，in essence，actually；in other words，after all，doubtlessly，no doubt，needless to say，naturally，of course，admittedly7轉(zhuǎn)折或?qū)φ眨篴lthough；regardless of, in sp

24、ite of；nonetheless，nevertheless；conversely，on the contrary；in sharp contrast，by contrast8時間：after a while，as soon as，in the meantime，meanwhile，recently，lately，presently，so far，for the time being，at present9結(jié)論：to sum up，to conclude；in conclusion，in a word，in short，in all，in brief, n summary；on the wh

25、ole，in the long run10論說文常用短語或句式：毋庸諱言：it goes without saying that不可否認：there is no denying the fact that一般認為：it is generally believedthought that it is commonly held that it is universally acknowledged thatit is generally accepted that與一般看法相反不同，我認為：contrary to generally accepted ideas, i argue that相比之

26、下，a比b更有利。by contrast，a is blessed with more advantages by contrast, a enjoys a distinct advantage over b利大于弊。the advantages outweigh the disadvantages對此問題，人們態(tài)度不一。peoples attitudes towards the problem vary from person to person眾說紛紜，莫衷一是。opinions vary from individual to individual這一觀點的主要問題是，它忽略了一個基本事實

27、，即the main problem with this argument is that it is ignorant of the basic fact that乍想起來，此觀點似有道理，但仔細分析起來，就會發(fā)現(xiàn)at first thought，it may seem a reasonable idea，but on closer analysis we find that大多數(shù)人認為：people at large believemaintain that; the vast majority of people reckon (hold the opinion) that越來越多的人傾

28、向于認為：a significantly increasing number of people tend to believe that(二)擴大詞匯量，并注意積累某些常見詞的同義詞和近義詞中學(xué)生要在擴大詞匯量的同時，注意積累、辨別近義詞、同義詞，并有意識地將其用于平時的英文習(xí)作中，以訓(xùn)練英文的語言豐富性和表現(xiàn)力。當然，應(yīng)特別注意：平時要留意并通過閱讀英文材料品味某些近義詞、同義詞的區(qū)別與聯(lián)系，注意其使用場合，確保英文寫作中用詞準確，語法正確，搭配適當。舉例來說，表示“強調(diào)，注重”，我們可以使用下列近義詞(組：stress，emphasize，lay (put，place) emphasis

29、 on，lay (put，place) stress on，highlight，pay close attention to，attachimportance to，express deep concern at，make much account of。表示“許多”，上面已經(jīng)提到，有many，a large number of lots of, plenty of；mucha great deal of, a large amount of等可供選擇，但要弄清它們的區(qū)別：many，a large number of修飾可數(shù)名詞；lots of, plenty of修飾可數(shù)或不可數(shù)名詞；muc

30、h，a great deal of, a large amount of修飾不可數(shù)名詞。再如，表示“有時”，不必總考慮使用sometimes，還要想到另有at times，from time to time，on occasions，there are times when (接從句)可用。表示“花費(時間)”，可用動詞cost，spend，take，但應(yīng)注意它們的主語不同。如，表達“他們花費了三天時間完成了這項任務(wù)?！笨烧f成：they spent three days (in) completing the taskit took them three days to complete th

31、e taskthe task cost them three days（三)掌握基本句型和各種從句、非限定動詞等的運用規(guī)則，多嘗試練習(xí)句型間的轉(zhuǎn)換，并有意識地運用于寫作中關(guān)于句型間的轉(zhuǎn)換，現(xiàn)略舉數(shù)例，以示一斑。希望中學(xué)生能獲得啟發(fā)，在英文寫作中嘗試使用多變的句式結(jié)構(gòu)。they will spend millions of dollars on the project（主動-語態(tài)與被動語態(tài)間的轉(zhuǎn)換) millions of dollars will be spent on the projecti will always remember his advice(肯定句與否定句間的轉(zhuǎn)換)i wil

32、l never forget his advicehe had saved a lot of money，and he wished to buy a computer(并列句與復(fù)合句的轉(zhuǎn)換) after he had saved a lot of money, he wished to buy a computerhe said to the boys,“please dont make so much noise” (直接引語與間接引語的轉(zhuǎn)換) he told the boys not to make so much noisethey decided to make every effo

33、rt to protect those animals(不同詞類間的轉(zhuǎn)換) they made a decision (made up their minds) to make every effort to protect those animalshe did not realize his mistakes(不同詞類間的轉(zhuǎn)換) he was not aware of his mistakesthe meeting is very important(不同詞類間的轉(zhuǎn)換) the meeting is of great importancei told her what she should

34、 do next(復(fù)合句轉(zhuǎn)化為含不定式的簡單句) i told her what to do nexti was deeply moved by his wordsi made up my mind to mend my ways(以分詞或從句合并簡單句) deeply moved by his words, i made up mind to mend my waysas 1 was deeply moved by his words，i determined to turn over a new leaf. the child had no moneyhe had to beghe wou

35、ld be starved(以連詞等合并簡單句) the child had no money，so he had to beg, otherwise，he would be starved she wrote a letter，and thanked him for his help(并列句轉(zhuǎn)化為含分詞的簡單句) she wrote a letter, thanking him for his help when night fell，we went home(復(fù)合句轉(zhuǎn)化為含獨立結(jié)構(gòu)的簡單句) night falling，we went home finally i found the gi

36、rlin front of her stood a boy(簡單句合并為復(fù)合句) finally i found the girl，in front of whom stood a boy in spite of the bad weather, they continued their football match(通過將介詞短語轉(zhuǎn)化為從句，使簡單句轉(zhuǎn)換為復(fù)合句) although the weather was bad，they continued their football match the child is too young to lift such a heavy box(含不

37、定式的簡單句轉(zhuǎn)化為復(fù)合句) the child is so young that he cannot lift such a heavy box wang ming had to stay at home to look after his mother，for she was i11(并列句轉(zhuǎn)化為含定語從句的復(fù)合句) wang ming had to stay at home to look after his mother，who was illthen he met mary，and she invited him to a party(并列句轉(zhuǎn)化為復(fù)合句) then he met ma

38、ry，who invited him to a party a boy would be laughed at if he meant to do such a thing(復(fù)合句轉(zhuǎn)化為復(fù)合句) a boy who meant to do such a thing would be laughed at he said he was busy，which was untrue(復(fù)合句轉(zhuǎn)化為復(fù)合句) he said he was busy，though it was untrue (四)注意將短文分段敘述，并理清段落之間的邏輯關(guān)系 如前所述，有些中學(xué)生對英文寫作分段問題存有錯誤認識，以為英文寫作

39、內(nèi)容簡單，篇幅較短，只寫一個段落即可；而有些中學(xué)生隨意或不當分段，導(dǎo)致分段缺乏邏輯性。有鑒于此，中學(xué)生在英文寫作中，應(yīng)注意培養(yǎng)和提高分段意識，充分考慮文章的段落層次和各段邏輯關(guān)系，而不能僅滿足于語句基本通順，內(nèi)容基本完整，符合字數(shù)要求。教師亦應(yīng)不斷提醒學(xué)生注意英文寫作中段落層次和邏輯結(jié)構(gòu)的重要性。而作文評分標準對此也應(yīng)有明確要求。本文最先所述那篇初中范文，雖說語句較為流暢，但缺乏段落層次感。若做如下分段處理，并稍加潤飾，短文會更具可讀性。it was sunday，and tom didnt go to schoo1so his father asked him to painttoms fa

40、ther took out three apples and told tom to draw as many apples as on the tablebut tom loved playing football and didnt like paintinghe believed it would be too hard for him to draw so many applesso he thought and thought, and then he had an ideahe ate up two of the three apples, and then there was o

41、nly one apple left on the tableas a result，he finished his painting and went out to play，leaving his work on the tablewhen toms father came back and saw the painting，he was surprised to find that there was only one apple on the table and that his son was no longer there 四、范文評析 2006年高考英語試卷(浙江卷) 當前，不少

42、文學(xué)作品被改編成電影。有人選擇看電影，有人則喜歡讀原著。請你以“film or book，which do you prefer?”為題，按照下列要點寫一篇英語短文：(1)看電影：省時、有趣、易懂。(2)讀原著：細節(jié)更多，語言優(yōu)美。(3)我的看法及理由。 以下為一篇范文。 film or book，which do you prefer? some of us think that it is better to see the film than to read the book in the originalthe reason is that it takes less time to understand the whole storybe