2024屆江蘇省蘇北七市(南通)高三二模考試英語(yǔ)試題讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)思路分析My best examination 講義

(2024年南通二模讀后續(xù)寫(xiě))

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。MyBestExamination

Oneday,whileatworkinacoal-mineinMalden,Ihappenedtooverheartwominers

talkingaboutagreatschoolforpoorpeopleinVirginia.ItwasHamptonInstitute.The

schoolwasestablishedtoprovideopportunitiesforpoorbutworthystudentswhocould

workoutallorapartofthecostofboard,andatthesametimebetaughtsometradeor

industry.

Iwasonfireconstantlywithoneambition,andthatwastogotoschool.Idecidedat

oncetogotothatschool.FinallythegreatdaycameandIstartedforHampton.Ihadonly

asmall,cheapbagthatcontainedwhatfewarticlesofclothingIcouldget.Thedistance

fromMaldentoHamptonisaboutfivehundredmiles.Ihadnotbeenawayfromhome

manyhoursbeforeitbegantogrowpainfullyevidentthatIdidnothaveenoughmoneyto

paymyfare(路費(fèi))toHampton.

Bywalkingandbeggingridesinsomeway,Ifinallyreachedthegroundsofthe

HamptonInstituteafteranumberofdays,tiredanddirty.Assoonaspossibleafterreaching,

Ipresentedmyselfbeforetheheadteacherforassignmenttoaclass.Havingbeensolong

withoutproperfood,abath,andchangeofclothing,Iwaslikeaworthlessloafer(游蕩者).

Ididnot,ofcourse,makeaveryfavourableimpressionuponher,andIcouldseeat

oncethatthereweredoubtsinhermindaboutthewisdomofadmittingmeasastudent.I

triedtoimpressherinallthewaysIcouldwithmyworthiness.HowIwishedthatIcould

getachancetoshowwhatwasinme.

Aftersometime,theheadteachersaidtome,“Theadjoining(隔壁的)classroom

needssweeping.Takethebroomandsweepit.”para.1Itoccurredtomeatoncethatherewasmychance.para.2Theheadteacherwentintotheroomandinspectedthe

floorandclosets.01

確定原文主題由于故事情節(jié)和主題分析較清晰明了，課上就不用在這里設(shè)置問(wèn)題，直接挖空讓學(xué)生填寫(xiě)。這個(gè)方式能讓學(xué)生快速調(diào)動(dòng)記憶，梳理關(guān)鍵情節(jié)、分析人物形象和確定主題。SummaryofthestoryDespite

beingacoalminer,Ialwayshadan

ambition

togotoschool.When

overhearing

about

agreatschoolfor

poor

butworthy

students,I

decidedtogo

theirinpursuitof

education.

Painfully

(pain),Ihadnoenoughmoneyandhadto

walkand

beg

forridestoreachtheschool.

Upon

arrival,

I

presented

myself

before

theheadteacher

forassignmenttoaclass,but

my

appearance

of

a

worthless

loafer

duetothe

lackofproperfood,bath,andchangeofclothing

gavehera

poor

impression.

Inawhile,

theheadteacherasked

me

to

sweeptheadjoiningclassroom.Eagertoshow

whatwasinme,Ideterminedtoseizethischancewithout

hesitation.原文關(guān)鍵詞理解：首段故事背景介紹中有workoutallorapartofthecostofboard，很少學(xué)生能讀懂，它在這里指的是這個(gè)學(xué)校可以為學(xué)生提供全職或兼職工作機(jī)會(huì)掙食宿費(fèi)，同時(shí)還教他們做生意或其它技能。ThemeWith

diligence,

hardworkand

determination,onecanovercomeanyobstacleandachieveone'sgoals.02

構(gòu)建情節(jié)細(xì)節(jié)同樣用Problem-Solutionstrategy分析problem(conflict):

我前來(lái)求學(xué)，但給校長(zhǎng)留下不好印象。solution:

完成打掃教室的任務(wù)，證明自身價(jià)值，獲得入學(xué)機(jī)會(huì)。para.1Itoccurredtome

atoncethatherewasmychance.1．我開(kāi)始實(shí)施打掃工作（動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)，涉及運(yùn)用工具、不同區(qū)域）2．搭配心理描寫(xiě)：盡管我勞累但內(nèi)心堅(jiān)定不移，從而更加賣(mài)力。3．我重新檢查打掃情況，強(qiáng)調(diào)floor和closet的干凈，突出我一絲不茍的態(tài)度。4．（過(guò)渡）我完成打掃工作，邀請(qǐng)或等待校長(zhǎng)檢查para.2The

headteacherwentintotheroomandinspectedthe

floorandclosets.1.校長(zhǎng)檢查打掃情況，我緊張等待（神態(tài)描寫(xiě)，動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)，心理描寫(xiě)）2.校長(zhǎng)贊揚(yáng)我的勞動(dòng)成果，批準(zhǔn)我入學(xué)。（語(yǔ)言描寫(xiě)）3.我被認(rèn)可后的反應(yīng)（神態(tài)描寫(xiě)、心理描寫(xiě)）4.（升華主旨，照應(yīng)標(biāo)題）通過(guò)這次對(duì)我能力和品質(zhì)的考試，我證明了自身價(jià)值，通過(guò)努力開(kāi)啟我的人生新篇章。

批改中我發(fā)現(xiàn)從學(xué)生習(xí)作中發(fā)現(xiàn)難點(diǎn)在于續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段“沒(méi)話說(shuō)”，寥寥兩句描述完打掃過(guò)程，卻忽略了展現(xiàn)“我”信念堅(jiān)定的心理狀態(tài)和一絲不茍的品質(zhì)，以及容易忽略第一段打掃過(guò)程與第二段已知首句的銜接。

破解辦法是……“tapintothepreviousstory”

即續(xù)寫(xiě)可以充分運(yùn)用原文語(yǔ)言重新“排列組合”成你的文字，實(shí)現(xiàn)情節(jié)、主題和任務(wù)三方面的“協(xié)同”。伏筆1opportunity協(xié)同1once-in-a-lifetimeopportunity與givensentence中的chance銜接伏筆2workinacoal-mineI；waslikeaworthlessloafer協(xié)同2強(qiáng)調(diào)我"我"在礦地的工作經(jīng)歷，讓我吃苦耐勞、一絲不茍的精神合理化，或通過(guò)對(duì)比acoalminer→aworthlessloafer→aworthystudent身份的轉(zhuǎn)變加強(qiáng)主旨.伏筆3workoutallorapartofthecostofboard,andatthesametimebetaughtsometradeorindustry協(xié)同3用于結(jié)尾描述"我"爭(zhēng)取入學(xué)后的收獲.伏筆4Iwasonfireconstantlywithoneambition,andthatwastogotoschool.協(xié)同4用于描述我打掃教室時(shí)信念堅(jiān)定，一心求學(xué)，于是更加賣(mài)力.伏筆5Bywalkingandbeggingridesinsomeway,IfinallyreachedthegroundsoftheHamptonInstituteafteranumberofdays,tiredanddirty.協(xié)同5用于續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段心理描寫(xiě):餓著肚子打掃的時(shí)候回想求學(xué)之路的艱難，更加珍惜這次機(jī)會(huì)，竭盡全力做好工作.asurgeofpowerendlesslyburstinginsideofme用于第二段升華主旨的心理描寫(xiě):回想歷經(jīng)重重困難后，苦盡甘來(lái)，反思先前的努力都是值得的。allthetoughlaborworkdownthemine,allthebitterhardshipontheroadandallmyeffortstoprovemyworthinesspaidoff伏筆6Icouldseeatoncethatthereweredoubtsinhermindaboutthewisdomofadmittingmeasastudent....getachancetoshowwhatwasinme協(xié)同6在第二段突出校長(zhǎng)對(duì)我的改觀:Icouldseeatoncethatthepreciousdoubtsinherminddisappearedgivingwaytoaanadmiringlookatme,asifembracingmeasaworthystudentofhers03

用象征呈現(xiàn)主旨句主旨句有多種展開(kāi)方式：Thesweepingofthatroom

turnedouttobean

examination

of

mydiligence,carefulnessandwillpower!Ihavepassedseveralexaminationssincethen,butIhavealwaysfeltthiswas

the

mostrewarding

one

ever.【反思經(jīng)歷】This

wasjustthebeginningofmyjourneyatHamptonInstitute,yetit

openedanewchapterofmylife.Moreimportantly,Iwasresolvedto

takefulladvantageoftheenrichedlifethisfamousschooloffered.【展望未來(lái)】Itwasasmallvictory,butIknewthatitwasthefirststeptowards

gaininghertrustandprovingmyselfatHamptonInstitute.Withthatsimpletask,Ihadbeguntopavethewayfor

myeducationandfuturesuccess.【展望未來(lái)】04

參考范文

Itoccurredtomeatoncethatherewasmychance.

Onlybyseizingthisonce-in-a-lifeopportunitycouldIgetadmittedintoHampton.Grabbingthebroomfirmly,Iwasonfiretoshowtheheadteacherwhatwasinme.Thankstothepreviousexperienceinthecoalmine,Ihadshapedmyselfintoastrongmanwithanironwill.Withasurgeofpowerendlesslyburstinginsideofme,IswepteverycornerintheroomcautiouslyandandIwasevenonallfourscheckingiftherewasdustleftundertheclosets.Tiredanddirtythough,Icastsatisfiedlooksaroundtheroombefore

inviting

theheadteacher

toexaminemyworkresults.

Th