英文小笑話集錦

1、它咬人嗎 Does He BiteReggie:We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?Ron: Well, I dont know-does he bite? Reggie: Thats what I want to find out.里基：我們又得到了一條新狗，你愿意過來和他玩一會嗎？ 羅恩：嗯，我不知道 它咬人嗎？里基：這正是我想要查明的。兩塊蛋糕 Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom:

2、 Certainlytake this piece and cut it two!湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎？媽媽：當然可以 拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧！不算太壞 Not too BadDid you sell any of your paintings at the art show?No, but I am encouraged, he replied. Somebody stole one.“你的畫在美術展上有賣出去嗎？ ”“沒有，但我還是受到了鼓勵， ”他回答說， “有人偷走了一幅。 ”A Silly Father 傻爸爸Mr. White was watching TV when

3、his eight-year-old son came into the room. He cried, Father, my grandpa just now slapped me in the face. Hearing that, Mr. White became very angry. And then he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said, You beat my son and I dare to beat yours.懷特先生在房間里看電視，他八歲的兒子走進來哭著說：爸爸，剛才爺爺打了我一耳光。懷特先生聽了非常生氣，突然，

4、他重重地扇了自己一耳光，說：你打我兒子， 我也敢打你兒子。讓座 To Give Up the SeatLittle Johnny says Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.Well, youve done the right thing, says Mommy 。But Mommy, I was sitting on daddys lap.小約翰告訴媽媽：早上我和爸爸坐公車時，他讓我給一位女士讓座。好，你做得對。媽媽說。但是，媽媽，我那時正坐在

5、爸爸的大腿上。別太自私 Dont be selfishA mother is admonishing her son._Now, John, dont be selfish. Let your little brother share the bicycle with you._But Mother, I do. I ride it down the hill, and he rides it up the hill.一位母親在勸告她的兒子。 聽著，約翰，別太自私，讓你的弟弟和你共用一輛自行車。 媽媽，我是讓他。我 先騎下坡，他再騎上坡。 A Good Boy 好孩Little Robert

6、asked his mother for two cents.小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?“昨天給你的錢干什么了？ ”I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered.“我給了一個可憐的老太婆， ”他回答說。Youre a good boy, said the mother proudly.“你真是個好孩子， ”媽媽驕傲地說。Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old wo

7、man?“再給你兩分錢?？赡銥槭裁磳δ俏焕咸敲锤信d趣呢？ ”She is the one who sells the candy.“她是個賣糖果的。 ”我的狗不識字Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!Mrs. Brown: Its no use, my little dog cant read. 布朗夫人：哦， 親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告??！ 布朗夫

8、人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。 ”Marry Him 嫁給他Jane loved Tony , but she worried about all the money he squandered when they went out together. How can I stop Tony spending so much money on me? She asked her mother.Marry him!簡很愛托尼，但是當他們一起出去的時候，托尼總是大手大腳地花錢，這使簡感到 很不安。我怎樣才能不讓托尼在我身上花那么多錢呢？她問自已的母親。嫁給他！Much Worse 那就更糟Pol

9、iceman: Why didnt you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?Man: If I had opened my mouth, theyd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.警察：有人搶你的手表時，你為什么不呼救呢？ 男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。The first timePatient: Im so frightened, this is my first operation.Surge on: I kno

10、w just how you feel. This is my first operati on, too.病人：我很害怕，這是我第一次動手術。外科醫(yī)生：我完全理解你的心情。這也是我第一次動手術。Money and frie ndA: Which do you find more importa nt, money or frien ds?B: Frie nds, of course.A: Why?B: I can always borrow money from frien ds.甲：你認為錢和朋友哪一個更重要？乙：當然是朋友。甲：為什么？乙：我總可以從朋友那兒借到錢。You are too late.你太晚了On the bus a man discovered a pickpockets hand th