化學(xué)專(zhuān)業(yè)英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作-第五章.ppt

1、1,第五章 科技英語(yǔ)中常用修辭學(xué),2,文章是由段落組成的，段落又是由句子組成的，句子是表達(dá)思想感情的最小語(yǔ)言單位，因此要把文章寫(xiě)好，就必須把句子造好，每個(gè)段落寫(xiě)好，寫(xiě)好段落和要造好句子就必須掌握四大要素：統(tǒng)一性，連貫性，強(qiáng)勢(shì)性和簡(jiǎn)潔性。,3,1統(tǒng)一性(unity),句子的統(tǒng)一性包括每一個(gè)句話都有一個(gè)明確的中心思想，一句話只允許講述一個(gè)中心思想，一句中若出現(xiàn)兩個(gè)或兩個(gè)以上相關(guān)連的思想時(shí)，我們要判斷哪個(gè)是主要思想，哪個(gè)是從屬思想？分別以主句和從句將思想表達(dá)出來(lái)。如果兩個(gè)思想重要性相等，又密切關(guān)連，則用并列連接詞，寫(xiě)出并列句，如果兩個(gè)或更多的思想互不關(guān)連，則用兩個(gè)或更多的句子來(lái)表達(dá)，否則將兩個(gè)以上互

2、不關(guān)聯(lián)的概念放入一個(gè)句子，時(shí)而以甲為對(duì)象，時(shí)而以乙作對(duì)象，變得語(yǔ)無(wú)論次，就破壞了句子的統(tǒng)一性。,4,1.1 把兩個(gè)不相關(guān)連的思想放在一起,病句：(1) The quality of the half-tone reproduction depends both on the grade of the paper used (the glossier the better) and on the fineness of the screen, in general the finer screen giving the better detail, but the limit is set by

3、 the absorbency of the paper and the quality of the printing, not every printer being equipped to reproduce half-tones with maximum charity. 這個(gè)句子語(yǔ)法正確，但內(nèi)容過(guò)多，含意也不密切相連，使人抓不住要點(diǎn)，破壞了句子統(tǒng)一性，如換成三個(gè)句子，則層次清楚。,5,The quality of the half-tone reproduction depends both on the grade of paper used and on the fineness

4、 of the screen. In general, glassy paper and finer screens give better detail, but the limit is set by the absorbency of the paper and the quality of the printing. Not every printer is equipped to reproduce half-tones with maximum clarity. （照像銅版復(fù)制的質(zhì)量取決于所用紙的區(qū)別和印刷網(wǎng)板的精細(xì)，一般光學(xué)的紙和較粘制的網(wǎng)板會(huì)產(chǎn)生較好的清晰度，但其限度要由紙的吸

5、墨性和印刷質(zhì)量來(lái)決定。并不是每一臺(tái)印刷機(jī)的裝備都能夠制備高清晰度的照相銅板。）,6,(2) The vessel made for the shore, and the passengers soon crowded into the boats, and the beach was reached in safety, and the inhabitants of the island received them with the utmost kindness. 這個(gè)句子意思混亂，不好懂，因?yàn)榫渥拥闹髡Z(yǔ)變化太多，造成概念上的混亂，糾正的方法是確定一個(gè)中心思想，以它作主體統(tǒng)率全局，現(xiàn)以pas

6、sengers為主，改寫(xiě)： The vessel having made for the shore, the passengers soon crowed into the boats and safely reached the beach, where they were received with the utmost kindness by the inhabitants of the island.（輪船駛?cè)敫劭冢丝蛡冇可闲⊥?，安全到達(dá)海灘，在那里他們受到了島上居民極其熱烈地接待。）,7,1.2 把應(yīng)該密接的思想分開(kāi)來(lái) 病句：Mr. Wang was a wonderful el

7、ectrical engineer, He was also a mathematical genius. At first he worked in a telegraph office and had to leave because he became deaf. Finally he retired to Tianjin, and lived alone. 除了給兒童或初學(xué)外文的人寫(xiě)作時(shí)，需要簡(jiǎn)短的句子外，一般在寫(xiě)作上很少都是簡(jiǎn)單句主+謂+賓一類(lèi)的格式，科學(xué)論文也不例外，一聯(lián)串的短句，猶如一架不停開(kāi)放的機(jī)關(guān)搶?zhuān)曇魡握{(diào)而機(jī)械，使人看了神經(jīng)緊張，因而在文字上不能起到吸引讀者的作用，上文可

8、改寫(xiě)：,8,Mr. Wang was not only a wonderful electrical engineer but also a mathematical genius. Owing to deafness he had to leave the telegraph office where he first worked and retired to Tianjin, and lived alone. 王先生不僅是一位出色的電氣工程師，還是一位數(shù)學(xué)天才，由于耳聾，他不得不離開(kāi)當(dāng)初他工作的電報(bào)局而退休到天津，在那里他獨(dú)自生活著。,9,1.3 不對(duì)等的思想用對(duì)等的連接詞加以連接,病句

9、：Our classmate was ill and it was the reason why he was absent so long.（我們班那位同學(xué)生病了，這是他缺課這么久的原因。） 這句話把重要性不同的從句并列，破壞了句子統(tǒng)一性，改正如下： The reason why our classmate was absent so long was that he was ill. 或 Our classmate was absent for such a long time because he was ill.,10,1.4 沒(méi)理由地突然改變句子結(jié)構(gòu),1.4.1 突然改變主語(yǔ)和動(dòng)詞的

10、語(yǔ)態(tài) 病句：He ran to the station and the train was taken by him. 應(yīng)改為：He ran to the station and took the train. 這里不是說(shuō)一句中的并列謂語(yǔ)或并列復(fù)合句中絕對(duì)不能使用不同的語(yǔ)態(tài)，只是說(shuō)在能夠一致時(shí)，應(yīng)盡量一致。,11,病句：He studies very hard and his leisure hours are devoted to lessons. 他學(xué)習(xí)非常努力，空閑時(shí)間全花在功課上。 此句兩分句主語(yǔ)不一致，較差，改成如下句子就好些。 He studies very hard, and d

11、evotes his leisure hours to lessons. 病句：No matter how force is produced, we can measure it in pounds. 不管力是如何產(chǎn)生的，都可用磅來(lái)計(jì)算。 No matter how force is produced, it can be measured in pounds.,12,1.4.2 沒(méi)有理由地改變主語(yǔ)或賓語(yǔ)的數(shù) 病句：(1) If one tries hard, they can pass the entrance examination. (2) He carefully wiped eac

12、h of the instruments and put them away. 1.4.3 沒(méi)有理由地突然改變時(shí)態(tài)和語(yǔ)態(tài) 病句：For the tenth time he sent his manuscript to the editor, but again it is returned to him. They would save almost $500 if they can re-use the containers.,13,2. 連貫性(Coherence),一篇好的論文猶如一條長(zhǎng)鏈，每一節(jié)是一個(gè)環(huán)，一節(jié)很自然地帶來(lái)另一節(jié)，一句帶來(lái)另一句。作者的思想自始至終要相互連續(xù)，也就是要有連

13、貫性，句與句之間要有技巧的連接，詞與詞之間，詞組與詞組之間的關(guān)系要明確，使人一目了然。修飾詞、連接詞、先行詞、轉(zhuǎn)換詞序等要處理得當(dāng)，否則會(huì)引起不連貫，要達(dá)到連貫性，應(yīng)注意以下幾點(diǎn)：,14,2.1 平行結(jié)構(gòu) 一個(gè)句子里兩個(gè)或兩個(gè)以上的句子成分起同一種職能時(shí)，應(yīng)當(dāng)使用相當(dāng)?shù)脑~類(lèi)，使它們對(duì)稱(chēng)。在使用并列連接詞如and, but, or, bothand, not onlybut also, eitheror, neithernor, 等，應(yīng)該名詞連名詞，動(dòng)詞連動(dòng)詞，從句連從句。如果連接的成分不對(duì)稱(chēng)，就會(huì)破壞句子結(jié)構(gòu)的對(duì)稱(chēng)性，就會(huì)破壞連貫性。,15,誤：The turbines exhaust som

14、etime into the heating system and sometime they exhaust into the atmosphere.用and 連接的成分不相同。 正：The turbines exhaust sometime into the heating system and sometime into the atmosphere. 誤：We can not only make electronic computer, but also can design them. 正：We not only can make electronic computer, but a

15、lso can design them. 或：We can not only make electronic computer, but also design them.,16,誤：He moved steadily neither looking left nor right, neither to slacken nor hastening his footsteps. 正：He moved steadily looking neither left nor right neither slackening nor hastening his footsteps. 誤：Geophysic

16、s provides a method of finding oil, several kinds of ore, and the probable means of exploiting them. The probable means 和 oil及several kinds of ore意思不平行，不能放在finding的賓語(yǔ)位置上。,17,2.2 修飾詞的使用 分詞，動(dòng)名詞，不定式，省略句等在使用時(shí)，要注意用主語(yǔ)的呼應(yīng)，不可使它孤零零地?zé)o所依附，或依附在錯(cuò)誤的詞上，而成為無(wú)所屬或架空的修飾詞，使人費(fèi)解。,18,2.2.1 分詞 誤：Differentiating both sides w

17、ith respect to x, the equation becomes x2+y2=z2. equation本身不能進(jìn)行differentiating，因此differentiating成了架空的修飾詞，造成不連貫。 正：Differentiating both sides with respect to x, we obtain the equation x2+y2=z2. 誤：Being short of trucks, the machine parts had to be carried to the works. 正：Being short of trucks, they ha

18、d to carry the machine parts to the works.,19,2.2.2 動(dòng)名詞 誤：By closing the draft, much fuel was saved. By closing the draft與主語(yǔ)fuel不呼應(yīng)。 正：By closing the draft , the experimenter saved much fuel.借助停止通風(fēng) 正：Because the draft had bee closed, much fuel was saved. 誤：After reading the test, the subject is stil

19、l blank to him. 正：After reading the test, he is still blank about the subject.,20,2.2.3 不定式 誤：To prevent flood and waterlogging have built many small sluices. 正：To prevent flood and waterlogging, they have built many small sluices. 正：To prevent flood and waterlogging, many small sluices have been bu

20、ilt. 誤：To correct this error must balance the equation. 正：To correct this error, we balance the equation. 誤：This work is necessary to finish within this week. 正：This work is necessary to be finished within this week.,21,2.2.4 省略句 誤：While listening to the radio, a fire broke out. 從字面理解從句中省略了fire和動(dòng)詞wa

21、s，但while the fire was listening to the radio意思是不通的。 正：While we were listening to the radio, a fire broke out. 誤：Although tested the day before, he could not start the auxiliary engine when the main power supply failed. 從字面理解，從句省略了he was,但加上后意思不通。 正：Although tested the day before, the auxiliary engin

22、e would not start when the main power supply failed. 正：Although it had been tested the day before, he could not start the auxiliary engine when the main power supply failed.,22,2.3 代名詞的先行詞要明確 一個(gè)代名詞前，若有兩個(gè)或兩個(gè)以上的名詞都可被認(rèn)作為此代名詞是先行詞時(shí)，則破壞了連貫性，例： 誤：The gage was attached to the tank, but it was found to be de

23、fective. 正：The gage, which was found to be defective, was attached to the tank. 誤：He told William to put Johns tools into his car. 正：He told William to put Johns tools into Johns car.,23,2.4 從句中已有名詞時(shí)，不宜以it作泛指代名詞 用it作泛指代名詞時(shí)，可代表前面一句，或一個(gè)從句，從句中若有名詞可能被誤認(rèn)為it的先行詞時(shí)，則不要用it作泛指代名詞，否則就破壞了連貫性。 誤：If the tank is p

24、atched, it will reduce the losses. 正：If the tank is patched, the losses will be reduced.,24,2.5 沒(méi)有先行詞時(shí)，不要用代詞 誤：A new era began when they finally split the atom. 正：A new era began when scientists split the atom.,25,2.6 關(guān)系代名詞what不能帶有先行詞 關(guān)系代詞what = that which，本身帶有先行詞，因此不能再帶有先行詞。 誤：A principle of scienc

25、e tells the thing what usually happens under certain conditions.本句以thing作what先行詞，而what不需要先行詞，因此造成不連貫。 正：A principle of science tells what usually happens under certain conditions.,26,2.7 比較句中前后要一致 誤：The Pacific alone covers an area larger than all the continents put together.前半句談面積，后半句談大陸，無(wú)法比較。 正：Th

26、e Pacific alone corers an area larger than that of all the continents put together. 誤：The sand jet is as good, if not better than any. 正：The sand jet is as good as any other, if not better.,27,3. 強(qiáng)勢(shì)性(Emphasis),強(qiáng)勢(shì)性是修詞學(xué)中的主要原則之一，它的目的在于使句子的意義加重或使語(yǔ)句變得更加有力，從而使讀者加深印象，強(qiáng)勢(shì)性可通過(guò)以下幾點(diǎn)獲得： 3.1 位置法 英文句中，句首和句尾是重要的強(qiáng)勢(shì)位

27、置，因此較不重要的字或片語(yǔ)要放在句中部，這是作家常用的手法。,28,例：松 As we know it, a compound results from the chemical union of two or more elements. 強(qiáng) A compounds, as we know it, results from the chemical union of two or more elements. 一些連接詞和副詞如however, therefore, moreover, nevertheless等，有時(shí)就被放在句中間。 Kerosene(美語(yǔ)，煤油)=paraffin mol

28、ecules, however, have longer carbon chains than gasoline molecules. We must, therefore, conclude that when the distance between the molecules is very small, there are force of repulsion.,29,3.2 反序法 反常字序的句子，會(huì)引起讀者的注意，可加強(qiáng)語(yǔ)勢(shì)，但不可用得太多。 松 New data on this subject are presented in the paper. 強(qiáng) Presented in

29、the paper are new data on his subject. 松 The use of the electronic computer, which plays a very important part in production and our daily life, will be still wider. 強(qiáng) Still wider will be the use of the electronic computer, which plays a very important part in production and our daily life.,30,3.3 漸

30、進(jìn)法 將語(yǔ)勢(shì)逐漸加強(qiáng)，修詞學(xué)上叫“漸進(jìn)法”，也就是將力量強(qiáng)勢(shì)不等的幾個(gè)同類(lèi)成分按照由弱到強(qiáng)的順序使用，由最弱的開(kāi)始，最強(qiáng)的結(jié)尾，這樣就構(gòu)成了較強(qiáng)的語(yǔ)勢(shì)，例如： 松 In unaccelerated, level, straight flight, lift must equal weight and thrust must equal drag.（在平直而不加速的飛行中，升力必須等于重力，而推力必須等于阻力。） 強(qiáng) In straight, level, unaccelerated flight, lift must equal weight and thrust must equal dra

31、g.,31,3.4 比較和對(duì)照 將幾種思想比較和對(duì)照，能使句子更有力。例如： We should impart our courage and not our despair, our health and not our disease. 3.5 采用主動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài) 主動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)一般比被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)語(yǔ)氣強(qiáng)些。例如： 松 Sound is produced by vibrating matter. 強(qiáng) Vibrating matter produces sound.,32,3.6 避免使用一串多于4個(gè)的定語(yǔ)，恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂们爸迷~，把形容詞改成賓語(yǔ)，試比較。 弱 New, more discriminating n

32、ature type apparatus. 強(qiáng) New apparatus of a more discriminating nature更具有鑒別性能的新式儀器。 弱 650,000 electron volts energy level electrons. 強(qiáng) Electrons with an energy of 650,000 electron volts.,33,3.7 省略不必要的字，使全句簡(jiǎn)潔有力。 比如有定語(yǔ)從句改成定語(yǔ)（形容詞或短語(yǔ)） 松 The data that are in the report seem valid. 強(qiáng) The data in the report

33、 seem valid. 松 Since the committee has already made three reports, only one report remains to be presented. 強(qiáng) 去掉one report中的report 松 A dry cell has two posts, one post is in the center of the dry cell and the other post is at the edge of the dry cell. 強(qiáng) A dry cell has two posts, one is in the center

34、 and the other at the edge.,34,3.8 使用 very, really, certainly, exactly等詞 1The electrons surrounding the nucleus contribute very little to the atomic mass.（原子核周?chē)碾娮訉?duì)于原子量影響極?。?2It would be really difficult to make a thin film integrated circuit without vacuum deposition. 想要制造薄膜集成電路不進(jìn)行真空沉積實(shí)在困難。 3If you

35、 could make a row of copper atoms by placing one next to the other, you might need exactly 100 million to cover an inch. （假定你能夠把銅原子一個(gè)按一個(gè)地排列起來(lái)，也許要整整一億個(gè)銅原子才能排滿一英寸。）,35,4. 簡(jiǎn)潔(concise),寫(xiě)作時(shí)要求簡(jiǎn)潔，防止贅述，頻冗，羅嗦，冗長(zhǎng)。分述如下： 4.1 贅述(Tautology) needless repetition 4.1.1 不要重復(fù)形容詞的比較級(jí)和最高級(jí) 誤 He received a most vital woun

36、d（受了致命傷） 正 He received a vital wound. 誤 It became colder more and more. 正 It became colder and colder.,36,4.1.2 副詞gradually不能與little by little, more and more, less and less, day by day等詞語(yǔ)連用。 誤 The scientific research on magnetic field has gradually become less and less interesting. 正 把上句gradually去掉。

37、 或正 The scientific research on magnetic field has gradually become uninteresting. 4.1.3 time and again, from time to time, now and then等會(huì)有“間或”“不時(shí)”的意思，用了之后就不要用occasionally, at intervals. 誤 Now and then we saw the elastic deformation occasionally. 正 上句去掉occasionally 正 we occasionally saw the elastic d

38、eformation.,37,4.1.4 用了asas, soas等關(guān)連詞組修飾形容詞或副詞，就不要用very等強(qiáng)勢(shì)字。 誤 The cleaning power of detergent is as very effective in hard water as in soft. 正 去掉上句very 4.1.5 有了具體里數(shù)，就不要再用far, distance等詞。 誤 We stand the pole ten miles far from here. 正 去掉上句far,38,4.1.6 much, little, enough等字本身含有量的概念，所以不能再用quantity連用。

39、 誤 A much quantity of mineral was found in the water. 正 Much mineral was found in the water. 正 A large quantity of mineral was found in the water. 誤 China has enough quantity of resources. 正 China has enough resources.,39,4.1.7 many和few都指數(shù)而言，many = a large number of, 所以不要與number連用。 誤 There were many

40、 numbers of people at the meeting. 正 There were many people at the meeting. 正 There was a large number of people at the meeting. 4.1.8 用了exception就不要再使用和except同義的but 誤 Carrying the instrument, do not touch any part but a few exceptions 正 把上句but換成with,40,4.1.9 least, most, half等字，已含有“一部分”的含意，不要再加part

41、這個(gè)字，但for the most part是例外。 誤 Most part of the energy we use is produced by burning fuel. 正 Most of the energy we use is produced by burning fuel. 誤 The larger half part of his life was devoted to scientific research. 正 The larger half of his life was devoted to scientific research. 4.1.10 在exist后不能再用in the world 誤 Such ideas have long existed in the world. 正 去掉in the world,41,4.2 煩冗(p