適合大學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)故事英語(yǔ)小故事3分鐘幽默

適合大學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)故事:英語(yǔ)小故事3分鐘幽默□Itwasanoldclock,butitstilltoldthecorrecttime.ThefacehadafadedpictureofAndy’sparentstakenwhentheywerenewlyweds.Asidefromsomephotos,theclockwastheonlymementoAndyhadofhismomanddad.Hisfatherdiedofcancerin1964.Thenhismommovedtoaprivatenursinghome.Shehadmanyfriendsthere.Thenursinghome,however,wentbankrupt.Theymovedherintoastatenursinghome.Shehateditthere.SheaskedAndytohelphermoveintoaprivatenursinghomeagain.Shehadspentmostofherhusband’ssavingsonlivingexpensesatthefirstnursinghome.Andysaidhewouldtry.ButAndyhadnosavings.HewasasergeantintheArmy,andallhismoneywenttohiswifeandthreekids.HecalledhisolderbrotherFrank,whowassingleandhadagreatjob.Frankwasanaviddeep-seafishermanandwasinterestedinbuyingalargeboatforweekenduse.“Frank,Idon’thavethemoneynow,butyoudo,”Andypleaded.“JustpayforMomandI’lloweyouforhalfofthenursinghomecosts.”“You’lloweme?Youdon’thavetwonickelstorubtogether,andprobablyneverwill.I’llgetstuckforthewholebill.Whataboutmyboat?”“Whatboat?”“Nevermind.Letmethinkaboutit,andI'llgetbacktoyou.”Frankneverdidsendhismomthemoneytomoveintoaprivatenursinghome.Aloneandunhappy,shediedinthestatenursinghomeonlyayearlater.Andyneverforgavehisbrother.Manyyearswentby.Frank’shealthdeclined.HecalledupAndyoneday.“Andy,IfeelreallybadaboutnothelpingoutMom.Iwastoointerestedingettingthatboat.TheolderI’vegotten,themoreguiltIfeel.Mydaysarenumbered,Andy.Iwaswonderingifyouwouldsendmethatclock,justforalittlewhile.IwanttobegMomtoforgiveme.”Andywasveryreluctanttopartwithhisclock,buthedidfeelalittlesorryforFrank.Frankdiedtenmonthslater.OneofFrank’snieces,Flo,wastheexecutorofhisestate.FlohadhiredalawyertohelpherUncleFrankrewritehiswillinhisdyingdays.Strangelyenough,Flogoteverything.ShemadesureUncleFrankwasburiedadayafterhisdeath.Noannouncementwasmadeabouthisfuneral,whichFlokeptprivate—atthe20-minuteservice,Flowastheonlymourner.FlosoldUncleFrank’shouse,car,andboatwithintheweek.Everythingoflesservaluewenttoacharity.Hiscashandstocks,ofcourse,werealreadysafelyinhername.WhenAndydiscoveredthathisbrotherhaddied,hecalledFlotoaskabouthisclock.“Oh,”shesaid,“thatwenttocharitywitheverythingelse.Youdidn’treallywantthatoldthing,didyou,UncleAndy?UncleAndy?Hello?”Well,thatwasrude,shethought.ariaandLisawerebestfriends.Theysharedatwo-bedroomapartmentinHollywood.Mariawasaclerkataclothingstore,andLisawasaclerkatasupermarket.Theirhoursvaried,sotheydidn’tgettospendawholelotoftimetogether.Butlastweekendbothwereoffwork.“Let’sgotothebeach,suggestedMaria.“That’sagoodidea,”agreedLisa.“Whichone?”“Well,Iwouldpreferanuncrowdedbeach,becauseIthinkI’veputonafewpoundsrecently.Idon’twantanyboysseeingmyfat.”“Oh,please,”saidLisa.“Youeatsolittle.Ouncesdon’tturnintopounds.HowaboutZumaBeach?That’sprettyfarnorthofSantaMonicaBeach,soit’sjustright—nottoocrowdedandnottooempty.”“Thatsoundsgood,”saidMaria.Thedrivetothebeachtookmorethananhour.Whentheygotthere,thehotandsunnyHollywoodweatherhadbecomecool,windy,andovercastbeachweather.Bothofthemhadbeentothebeachmanytimesbefore,sotheywerenotsurprisedbythechangeinweather.Theyputontheirjackets,shoes,andsocks,andheadednorthtohuntforseashells.Withinanhourtheyhadcollectedabout20beautifulshellsintoaplasticbag.Theywerestillwalkingslowlynorthwhentheyheardaroar.Theyturnedaroundtoseeafour-wheelAllTerrainVehiclecomingrapidlytowardthem.Thedriverbrakedatthelastmoment.Sandflewontothetwogirls.Theybothscreamed.ThedriverwaswearingajacketthatsaidBeachPatrol.HegotofftheATVandstartedyellingatthem.“Whatareyoutwodoinghere?Can’tyouread?ThesignssayPrivateProperty.TheysayNoTrespassing.GetoutofherebeforeIwriteyouaticketandhaveyouarrested.”“What’syourname?”Mariastooddefiantly.“I’mgoingtoreportyoutothepolice.You’renotarealpatrolofficer.Thisisapublicbeach.Thosesignsarephonysignsputupbyhomeownerswhothinktheyownthebeach.”“MynameisJohnSmith.Reportmetowhoeveryouwant.Nowgetoutofhereoryou’llbesorry.”“Youcan’tmakeusleave.Thisisapublicbeach!”yelledMaria.ThemangotbackontohisATVandstarteddrivingincirclesaroundthewomen.TheATVwassprayingsandandwateralloverthem.Hewaslaughing.Theystartedrunningbacksouth.WhentheATVdriversawthattheywereleaving,hedroveoff.“JohnSmith.Aphonynametogowithaphonyuniform,”saidMariawhentheysloweddowntoawalk.“We’regoingtothepolicestationandmakeacomplaint.Ihopetheyputhiminjail.”Afewminuteslater,Lisaasked,“Wherearetheshells?”“Oh,gee,inalltheexcitementIleftthembackthere.I’msorry.”“Noproblem,”repliedLisa.“There’splentyofseashellsinthesea.”“Yeah,justlikethere’splentyofjerksontheshore.”TravisandPaulwerebestfriendsandintheninthgrade.Theydidn’tlikeanythingaboutschoolexceptthegirlsandthebaseball.Theywerebothonthejuniorhighbaseballteam.Bothwantedtobemajorleaguebaseballplayerswhentheygrewup.OnThursday,baseballpracticelastedfortwohoursafterschool.Afterpractice,TravisandPaulwerehungryandthirsty.Betweenthem,theyhad$2.05.Therewasasmallgrocerystorethreeblocksfromtheschool.“Whatcanwebuyforonly$2?”askedTravis.Wecouldsplitasodaandacandybar,”repliedPaul.“That’sgoingtobehardtodo,sinceIlikeorangesodaandyoulikerootbeer,”saidTravis.“AndIhatepeanutsincandybarsandyoulovethem,”saidPaul.Astheyapproachedthestore,theywerestillthinkingabouttheirproblem.Onesolution,ofcourse,wasforoneofthemtopickthesodaandtheothertopickthecandybar.Theproblemwiththatsolutionwouldbethatoneofthemwouldstillbethirstyandtheotherwouldstillbehungry.“Waitaminute,”saidPaul.“I’vegotanidea.”Theystopped,andPaultoldTravishisidea.Mr.Cobbwasthestoreowner.Hehadnouseforkids.Theywerelittlepeoplewithlittlemoney.Hiseyesnarrowedashesawtheboysapproachingthestore.Aftertheyenteredthestore,Traviswalkedovertothebigcoolerthatwasfilledwithiceandsodas.Paulwalkedovertothecandybarsection.“Mr.Cobb,youdon’thaveanyorangesoda,”Travissaid.“Yes,Ido.Justdigalittle.You’llfindone.”Travisdugforaminute.“Istillcan’tfindone.”“Areyoublind?I’llberightthere.”Mr.Cobbstarteddiggingthroughtheice.Paulimmediatelyputtwocandybarsintohistrousers’baggypockets.Hepattedthepocketsdownalittlebit.“Look!Orangesoda!WhatdidItel